You must login () to review.
Reviewer: Anonymous Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 09-20-19 - 07:52 am Title: Not so happily ever after

What's happen next.

Reviewer: smalltowngirl Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 08-10-09 - 04:31 am Title: Not so happily ever after

Okay, you asked me to review this and tell you what I think. I agree with Cee, you could make this a chaptered story. All of the ideas that she gave you are wonderful ideas. If you do decide to take that route, just try to add more detail. You said that the detail is tricky, try to imagine what something smells like, feels like, or tastes like and you can make wonderful descriptions.
Your grammar is amazing. If you take the advice that you have been given and added detail this story would be awesome. However, if you decide to leave it short that is okay...although you gave me the impression that you wanted it to be longer. As we give you reviews, just remember to take everything with a grain of salt, if you think it will really help your writing, then use it, but don't completely change your style or ideas to suit someone else. I'm happy that you chose to share your first fic with us and I hope that this review will help you and encourage you to share more. Thank you for this.

Amber

Author's Response: Thank you for the review! I feel honored that you took the time to read this AND review! This is really helpful! -Lexia!

Reviewer: Cee Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 08-09-09 - 02:11 pm Title: Not so happily ever after

...wait, no surprise Snow White twist where she ain't really dead????

That's a lot to pack into one chapter. I will say one thing, though, you have pretty darn good grammar, something that can be a challenge for people uploading their first fics, so good job on that.

If you want to keep it short, that's cool, I guess, but the idea has a lot of potential if you ever wanted to come back and build this up into a chaptered piece. A lot of us out here love fairy tales, so you would certainly have a lot of input and feedback if you ever decided to add on to it.

But, if not, that's cool, too. If I were writing a story like this, I would have had fun with Ororo not being too fond of Logan at first, then grudgingly becoming best friends with him, then falling in love. He could be the one prince who isn't immediately taken by her, and that could get her nose out of joint. It's not my story, though.

Keep writing. I'm glad you shared your first story with us.

Author's Response: Thank you sooooooo much for this review! I feel honored! I was stuck on how to add the detail and make this longer so thank you for the ideas! -Lexia!

You must login () to review.