Deliver Me


The cab of the Blackbird was deathly calm and still, as the team traveled back to the mansion. No one even whispered, for fear that He may overhear.


In the closed cockpit it was another story, however…
Scott’s grim expression spoke volumes, as he gripped the plane’s controls and tried to hold a heated conversation at the same time. “Charles didn’t say anything more than that?”


Jean shook her head, standing behind his seat. Her eyes couldn’t meet his, and only one as skilled as the Professor would’ve recognized the cleverly hidden psi-shield she’d erected to mute her thoughts and feelings. She wasn’t trying to be deceptive, but she knew how close they both were to Ororo, and she didn’t want to upset Scott right then by telling him she’d thought she’d sensed some unusual distress in Xavier’s projection.


“He only said that our mission would have to be delayed, and that Logan needed to return immediately.” She tried to sound concerned without raising too much alarm, but inwardly, the telepath was a wreck. She’d wanted to decline her spot in this mission, in light of the recent problems her dear friend had been experiencing in her pregnancy, but a loving”if not exasperated”push from Ororo had convinced Jean that she was just being too protective. She knew Henry was going to be there, and that had helped calm the nagging feeling in the back of her mind, but now…


“How’s Logan doing back there?” Iceman questioned, sitting in the co-pilot chair and glancing behind him at Jean.


Turning to look at the closed door for a long moment, Jean’s expression was cautiously optimistic. “I was going to go check on him, as a matter of fact; see how his wounds are healing. As far as what he’s thinking…” ‘There’s only one person who could ever ‘read’ Logan that well…and she isn’t on this plane.’


In the rear of the cabin, in the small room used for emergency medical treatment, Logan sat on one of the sterile benches, slightly hunched over as he nursed a particularly bad puncture wound. It had started healing of its own, of course, but it still smarted royally. They had been in the first rounds of battle with some radical idiots from the Friends of Humanity, when Charles’ mental call had distracted him, allowing an initially clumsy attempt by one adversary to connect.


The harpoon-turned-deadly-weapon had been lodged in his side, damaging a kidney; the resulting shock had required that Colossus help him back to the Blackbird, where Jean made sure the dislodged spear didn’t possess any other harmful surprises before tossing it in the nearest bio-waste trash can.


As he’d lain there, with only the sounds of the monitors tracking his healing process, Logan’s thoughts tried to reach out to Charles again, to confirm what he’d heard. ‘Complications? What complications?’


His mind couldn’t go any farther with that train of thought, and instead flashed a much more pleasant image before his mind’s eye; almost 9 months ago, very late into a mid-December night…




Ororo’s body was perfectly melded against Logan’s, their limbs entwined, despite the significant height difference between them. She’d remembered his joke one time, that once they laid down everything would work itself out.


Looking at him now, his hair tussled from their latest romp between the sheets, and his already tanned skin slightly flushed, she smiled a smile a woman allows only in the presence of a lover, and reached up to caress his chest hair; one of her many favorite spots on his body.


Opening his eyes, Logan glanced down at her, a tired, sleepy but utterly fulfilled expression on his face. With one arm he held her slightly glistening brown body even closer, his hand at the small of her back, where expert fingers lightly caressed the sensitive skin.


He couldn’t help but admire the way the fireplace’s light illuminated her complexion; he felt like he could just watch her lay there forever, her long pale hair just as wild as his, her lips puckered from his intense kisses, and naked as the day the Lord made her”except for a pair of white ankle socks. He chuckled upon seeing them, remembering how she’d teased him after he admitted it was a kinky little turn on.


“What?” She breathed quietly, her sparkling eyes meeting his in the dim light.


Kissing her forehead, he replied, “Nothin’. Just rememberin’, is all.”


Content with that semi-explanation she settled back against him, her thoughts going into her own little world. Beside her, Logan turned his head a little, glancing outside her terrace doors to see bright snow capping the rails of the balcony beyond. It had started lightly a couple days ago, despite the weatherman’s predictions. Logan had some idea why.


“Darlin’ what’s goin on up there?” he lightly touched her forehead with a single finger, and when she looked at him in question, gestured to the snow outside. “That’s you, ain’t it?”


She felt her cheeks burn, suddenly unsure if she was ready to have this conversation with him right then. Taking a deep breath, she leaned up on one elbow, fixing him with her loving gaze.


Logan returned it, loving the way a thick lock of hair fell over her shoulder to tickle the soft flesh just above a full breast.


“Logan.” She said his name again, and lifted his chin so his vision focused on her eyes. They chuckled at the same time, realizing that his insatiable side could wait only so long before reappearing.


“Yeah Ro?” He still reached out to touch that lock of hair, reveling in its smoothness, but still meeting her gaze.


“I think we need to talk.”


He groaned in mock protest, burying his face in her chest and pushing her back into the pillows. He loved the way she smelled, especially right after they made love; it distracted him now, as he breathed deeply despite her chuckling objections. It was like fresh flowers after a summer’s rain; it was like ‘Home’; it was like Mother Nature…


“I’m pregnant.”


He chuckled, about to applaud her on getting his attention, when he looked up into her eyes. The look of uncertainty and excitement he met there made his heart flutter just a little.


“Yer serious? Darlin’, yer serious??” He was sitting up now, holding onto her arm as if letting go would ruin everything.


She could only nod quickly, feeling her throat tighten at his expression. It was everything she’d hoped for, as his body suddenly relaxed, taking in her admission. After a second, he swept her into his arms, fairly crushing her against his chest, as a deep rumbling laugh escaped him.


She had to admit to never hearing the sound from him before. Looking at him closely, she asked, “Does this mean you’re not upset?”


His expression changed, and he reached up to caress her cheek. “Ro…’upset’? Why would I be?”


“Well, this isn’t exactly planned. We were trying to be careful, remember?” her hand slid down to her still-flat tummy.


He laid his rough palm over hers, squeezing gently all the while searching her eyes. “Hey, to hell with plans, darlin’. What is it Kurt’s always saying? ‘When our and God’s plans don’t see eye to eye; guess whose wins?’”


She was biting her lip, but couldn’t deny the sparkle in his grey eyes as they looked at her a little differently now. “Quoting ordained priests, now? I may have to sit down.”


He chuckled and then reached up to cup her face, the love for her evident all throughout his body. “Miracles never cease…”


She relaxed as he took her into his arms, settling back down upon the wide bed, and deeply kissed her trembling mouth. There was something different about their lovemaking this night; Ororo could tell that much. Exquisite as ever, it also held the unspoken promise Logan had toyed with in his mind for almost a year prior, that had seen him”of all people”wandering a shopping mall jewelry store…


He allowed her to turn him onto his back, and she hovered just above, her hair a curtain of privacy shrouding their faces as she drew nearer for a kiss. Before her lips could claim his, he met her gaze, and whispered, “I love you.”


“I Love You, Logan…”




In the blackbird, a shutter went through his body, and the heart monitor showed slightly elevated signs for a moment, as he stared up at the ceiling. His eyes felt weird; itchy and burning as if he had hay fever. Blinking furiously, he licked his lips, willing his pounding heart to calm. Shaking his head, his face contorted into a mask of pain. After a long moment, Logan did something he hadn’t done since childhood.


He prayed.



Dr. McCoy stood outside the medlab unit’s room, trying in vain to keep his face as neutral as possible, as he heard the rumbling steps quickly approaching. He’d been steeling himself for this moment over an hour, since Charles had given word that the team was on its way back. He tried not to listen to the hard rain outside, or the repetition of thunder as the lights occasionally flickered from the electrical surges.


‘Henry, we’re on our way.’ He heard the Professor’s voice call, only moments before Logan barreled around the corner, his face wild and his emotions barely checked.


“Where is she Hank?? Where’s Ro??”


The doctor’s voice suddenly failed him, and he merely pointed toward the room, turning to the side before Logan could run him over. He couldn’t bring himself to follow, as Xavier, Jean, Scott and Remy came up.


“Stormy…” LeBeau’s expression was pained, and even as Rogue suddenly appeared by his side it did not diminish.


“Hank, what happened?” Jean pleaded.


Swallowing hard, Henry took his specs off, and the full extent of his fatigue shown through. “The Professor was awakened in the night through the link we all share; he was the first to know something was wrong.”


Xavier nodded, his face turned toward the door Logan had disappeared through. “I think She must have awakened in some pain, and instinctively called out in her mind. It woke me from a dead sleep, it was so strong. I called Hank, and one of the children helped to get her into the infirmary as soon as possible.”


“Apparently, not soon enough.” Hank breathed deeply, and didn’t look up as five sets of eyes fixed on him in worry. “The labor was slightly premature, and Ororo had a very difficult time during the birth…”


Charles’ eyes were fixed on the door, as Henry’s voice seemed to echo around him. It was so quiet, and he didn’t realize he was holding his breath.


Hank’s eyes gave in, and tears began to fall freely as he looked up at them all, meeting each face in turn. “It proved…too difficult. I…I couldn’t save them both.”



Deliver me, out of my sadness.
Deliver me, from all of the madness.
Deliver me, courage to guide me.
Deliver me, strength from inside me.




Inside the quiet delivery room, Logan’s feet were like concrete, as he stood just inside the doors, holding his aching side. His head was light, as his senses were overwhelmed by the odors assaulting him. He almost gagged at the stench of blood. Their blood.


All of my life I've been in hiding.
Wishing there was someone just like you.
Now that you're here, now that I've found you,
I know that you're the one to pull me through.



“Logan?”


His eyes, wide and pained, turned sharply from the quiet bassinette at the far side of the room, to Ororo’s face, as she lay on the bed. She was looking at him, her eyes red-rimmed and tired, but there was so much love still living there. He would not remember later how he’d managed to get to the bedside, but he found himself there, on his knees, reaching over to clasp her hand in his, unable to tell which one of them was trembling.



Deliver me, loving and caring.
Deliver me, giving and sharing.
Deliver me, the cross that I'm bearing.




She looked to him, her expression one he’d never seen before, and never would forget. She was still attached to several I.V.s, so her movements were limited, and his heart sobbed seeing her tied down to tubes and machines.


“I’m here, darlin…” he brushed her hair back at the forehead, seeing the sweaty locks there testament to her ordeal. “It’s gonna be alright…It’ll be alright.”


Her hand clasped his as she met his gaze. Her voice came out ragged, as if she’d screamed for days. “I…I’m so sorry..!”


He shushed her, shaking his head. “It’s not your f”“


Logan’s words failed, just as he heard the unmistakable sound of an infant cooing. His head whipped around to the bassinette, and then back to Ro. “Wha…The baby..?”


She smiled at his relief, but when he reached to get up, she held him there. Logan looked back to her in question, and saw the glassy look in her eyes. Her lip trembled as she repeated, “I’m sorry…”


Logan seemed paralyzed, as his body forced his eyes to look at the bag hanging over her head, read the name of the pain medication there, and then shifted to the hospital gown she still wore, still stained…


“Ro?”


“Go see our baby, Logan. Go see your son.”


He obeyed, silently coming up to the bassinette, and peering over to see the fidgeting bundle within. The little brown body was swathed carefully, dressed and clean, with a little cap to cover his head. His eyes were closed, but the moment Logan stepped up to him, they snapped open to reveal a brilliant blue, then closed again.


His shaking hands reached in, scooping the child up, and he held him close to his chest, where the little one could hear Logan’s heart racing. Turning back, he looked to Ro, who suddenly seemed even more tired. “A boy?”


She managed a smile as he sat again, and as Logan watched the babe, she tried again. “Logan, there…there was bleeding. A hemorrhage”“


His eyes flew to her again, as he stopped rocking the infant. He could hear something in her voice, and even though he didn’t understand it at first, he knew he didn’t like it. “Ororo.”


“I’m sorry…” A single tear reignited the dried trail at her temple, as she blinked. “…I only wanted…”


He kept shaking his head, looking from the boy to his beloved, as her eyes blinked slower now, and her breath became labored.


HANK!!


The doctor burst in, but knew why he’d been called.


“You gotta do something! Hank!” Logan tried to be careful, unwilling to let go of the baby, but getting irate. At Henry’s hesitation, he blurted, “NOW!


“Logan…there isn’t anything I can do. I’m sorry.” Henry barely got the words out before Logan’s attention swung back around to Ororo, who’d touched his arm.


“Love…please.”


He sank down into the chair, his breath ragged, as he held their baby out to her, laying the child across so she could see. His eyes kept going back and forth between them, as Ororo got her first good look at their son. Her face contorted in pain, as more tears came, but she was too tired even for that, and soon found herself just laying back, watching, as silent tears coursed down her face and neck.


Logan reached for her hand, and held it in his as his other hand cradled the baby’s head. The infant opened his bright blue eyes again, as a tiny caramel hand wound around Logan’s thumb. It was at that moment that his father saw the tiny, delicate little bone claws that barely nudged out of his knuckles. They were more like three little nubs, but Logan recognized them for exactly what they were. Caressing the boy’s bright white hair beneath his cap, Logan’s eyes began to burn again. This time, the tears came.



All of my life I was in hiding.
Wishing there was someone just like you.
Now that you're here, now that I've found you,
I know that you're the one to pull me through.




His gaze was blurred as he looked up to Ororo. The two parents’ eyes met, and she smiled barely, whispering, “I love you.”


“I love”“ His last words faltered, as her eyes fluttered closed. One last time. Logan couldn’t take his eyes off of her peaceful face, as her body stopped moving. His head shook in disbelief, in shock. Her fingers were still clasped in his, and he squeezed them, but she did not squeeze in return.



Deliver me,
Deliver me,
Oh deliver me.




The little boy opened his mouth, calling out a mix of a wail and a moan. Logan’s tear-streaked face looked down at him, His Son. Their Son. The babe squeezed his finger again, and this time when his gaze searched, they found the loving embrace of his father. As Logan’s body was racked with sobs, Hank came up behind him, laying a hand on his shoulder. Still gripping Ororo’s hand, Logan brought their son’s face up his and carefully placed a kiss on the child’s forehead before his body collapsed against the bed.


He could feel the child’s body close to his face; the infinitely fragile fingers reaching out to make contact with any part of him; almost as if the two shared the same pain.



All of my life I was in hiding.
Wishing there was someone just like you.
Now that you're here, now that I've found you,
I know that you're the one to pull me through.


Deliver me,
Oh deliver me.
Won't you deliver me..





The End.





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