Disclaimer: Don’t own ‘em, wish I did. Marvle owns ‘em, I just like ta play with ‘em. No disrespect ever intended, to Marvel or the X-Men.




A Warrior’s Heart




They say a warrior’s heart is made o’ stone.



Hard. Unfeelin’. Cold.



I was a warrior.



Once.



Once upon a time…. A long time ago…. A lifetime ago.



A dozen lifetimes ago… it seems.



I was a loner.



A rogue.



An outcast.



I was the Wolverine.



A warrior.



A samurai.



A spy.



An assassin.



Untouchable.



Then I came here.



Didn’t wanna be part o’ no group. Didn’t wanna get involved with a bunch o’ ‘do-gooders’ who couldn’t see the world fer what it was. Who couldn’t see the world the way I had always seen it.



Cold.



Heartless.



Destructive.



I had ta become the same way if I hoped ta survive. I did become that way. It was easier that way. Do a job… don’t get involved… don’t make it personal.



I can take pain… physical pain. Got used ta that a long time ago. Doesn’t even phase me anymore. Not really.



I heal. I always do. Flesh, bone, muscle, organs….



Mmmm…. Yeah… except….



My chest hurts.



Feels heavy.



Feels full.



There’s a burnin’ there I ain’t felt before. At least, that I remember.



Should never have gotten involved. Not personally. Not with my heart. Not with her.



My heart hurts.



It’s breakin’.



No healin’ factor in the world can take care o’ that wound.



They say time heals all wounds.



Bullshit!!



There are some wounds that are just too deep.



I can take pain. Got used ta it a long time ago. But not this kind.



Could never take this kinda pain.



The pain that comes from within.



There ain’t no cure fer a broken heart. There ain’t no healin’ from that.



Maybe others can.



I can’t.



Never could.



People think I don’t care.



I care.



I care too much.



That’s why I hurt so bad.



I don’t like hurtin’… makes me feel weak… makes me feel small.



I don’t like feelin’ weak. It makes me angry.



I don’t wanna be angry right now. I don’t wanna feel anythin’ right now. I wanna be numb. But it ain’t happenin’.



I’m concentratin’. Mind over body… that’s all there is to it.



So why ain’t it workin’?



I’ve been sittin’ here fer hours… maybe days… not really sure anymore.



Time feels like it’s standin’ still…. But the world feels like it’s spinnin’… spinnin’ out of control.



I can’t stop it. It’s just fate.



Can’t stop fate.



The world gives ya’ lemons… make lemonade.



Never liked lemonade.



So is it better ta just sit here?



Is it better ta just stare at the world outside the window?



Is that really better than getting involved?



Is it better not ta feel the pain?



Pain lets ya’ know yer still alive.



Well, that’s it in a nutshell, ain’t it?



I’m still alive.



I’m always still alive.



My heart goes right on beatin’…. Goes right on breakin’.



I ain’t never been accused o’ bein’ a coward. Not in battle. Not when it comes ta killin’…



I’m a fighter.



A warrior.



Ain’t supposed ta feel.



Ain’t supposed ta get involved.



The pain in my heart will never go away.



Ever.



It never does.



It just changes ta somethin’ else.



Somethin’ harder… somethin’ colder.



Do I wanna feel that again?



That cold?



That seering, intense cold?



Well, I don’t wanna feel this pain.



It hurts too much.



The only battles I ever seem ta lose are the battles of the heart.



I stopped fightin’ those a long time ago.



So why did I try ta win this one?



‘Cause I don’t like ta lose?



Don’t tell me I’m a quitter. Ain’t never quit nothin’ in my life.



I just learn the lesson… an’ move on.



I think I’ve learned all I can here. Lesson’s over.



Conclusion, class… love can lift ya’ up.



Just high enough ta make the fall a desperate one.



Don’t like feelin’ desperate.



Don’t like ta lose.



Especially those I love.



But I always do.



They always leave. They always leave me behind. In pain… lost… desperate.



Lesson?



Stop lovin’.



Stop lovin’… stop hurtin’.



Loneliness is easier…. Less painful, really.



So why do I keep reachin’ out?



Why?



Why?



Because she was worth it.



Worth the risk.



Worth the pain.



She will be with me always.



In this pain in my chest.



Ya’ see, my heart is breakin’… because it was full o’ my love fer her.



Her passing has shattered my heart…



An’ released her love inta my very soul.



This heaviness in my chest?



It is her… fillin’ me up.



Remindin’ me that she will always be with me… that we are one.



Was the love worth the pain?



Oh, god… yeah.



Would I have traded her love, not to have this pain?



Never.



Will I miss her?









How did I get down here?



On my knees?



My face in my hands….







Will the tears ever stop?







What’s that sound?



Someone’s cryin’.

It’s me.



An’, I know they will never stop.



Until I am dead.



I will never stop.



Until I am with her again.



I think that will be a long time.



Yes.



I have plenty o’ tears ta shed.



An’ I shed them all fer her.



I love ya’, darlin’.



I will miss you.



I do miss ya’, darlin’.



My heart is breakin’.



I feel yer love.



Don’t ever let it stop.



Dear God… don’t ever stop this pain!!!





You must login () to review.