Charles Xavier sat at the head of the large conference table in the staff lounge waiting for all the instructors to take their seats. The Fall Semester would begin in two weeks and this was the traditional first staff meeting of the new year.

“It looks like everyone is here,� he began, “I would like to begin by welcoming Logan to the teaching staff, he will be teaching self-defense this year.� He waited while everyone clapped, then he continued. “Jean, again will be teaching the life sciences, Scott will teach political science and economics, Remy will teach French, Hank will be teaching mathematics, Ororo will be teaching history and English, and I will be teaching physical sciences.� He paused, realizing Ororo was not at the table, as did everyone else.

“Where is Ororo, has anyone seen her?� Charles asked everyone.

They all shook their heads. Charles furrowed his brow as he tried to contact her mind to call her down and found he couldn’t detect her. That was not unusual as Ororo, like Logan could be impossible to contact unless she opened herself up to it. Her mind was very controlled because of her great power.

“I can’t reach her,� he finally said, “Can someone go up and get her?� He asked with a sigh.

“I’ll go,� Logan offered, as everyone relaxed and started talking amongst themselves. The meeting would not continue until Logan came back with Ororo.

Logan hurried up the stairs, taking them two at a time, then ran down the hallway to the attic stairs at the end. He slowed his approach, looking around, hesitantly, he had never been to her room before. It was very quiet, her door was closed at the top of stairway and he sniffed the air and knocked softly. He could smell the very faint odors of sandalwood and jasmine, but he could hear nothing. “Ro?� He called out with one hand on the doorknob and the other ready to knock again. Still no answer.

He decided to peek in, though he already knew she wasn’t there, and from the smell, hadn’t been for some time. He stepped into her room and looked around the room quite surprised to find he felt a quiet peace settling over him. Sheer white curtains were hanging over her large windows. Her ceiling and walls were painted almost the same soft blue as the sky outside. Ororo's simple white down comforter, the large fluffy white pillows and some smaller ones, was sheer simplicity. The bed had an understated white bed skirt, the night stands were simple white tables that matched the bed frame of her bed. It was so soothing to his senses. He was reluctant to leave the serenity Ororo had made for herself.

Logan turned to go just as something caught his eye, it was an envelope, leaning against the mirror on her dresser. He picked it up, noticing the dust that had settled on it, as well as the surface of the dresser. She hadn’t been here for a long time. There was no addressee on the front of the envelope, it was blank and unsealed. After just a moments hesitation he turned it over and pulled out the folded letter.

“She’s not here, Chuck.� Logan said as he came back into the staff room. “She left this.� He handed Charles the letter he found.

“She’s gone? That can’t be, I’m sure just saw her a couple of days ago, if she was going to leave she would have said something.� Jean said turning to Scott, “When did you see her last?� she asked him.

Logan thought back to when it was the last time he had seen her. The date on the letter couldn’t be right, could it? He’d been back a couple of weeks and couldn’t remember actually seeing her at all. He had been avoiding her, true, but how could he not realize she was not present in the house. His senses were more attuned than that. He had caught her scent at times, didn't he? He was supposed to be more aware of her, especially after… He shook his head, “You should read the letter, Chuck.� He said.

Charles cleared his throat, trying to choke back the sorrow he felt.

“It is dated June 17th.� He began.

“That can’t be right,� Jean interjected, “That was two and a half months ago, right after we broke for summer recess.� She said with a sniff.

“Let me just read it,� Charles began again.

“To Everyone,

I will be forever grateful for the time you invested in my education and making me part of the x-men. It is with sadness, however, that I must leave, I have come to understand that having a mission and living in a house full of people like myself is not life sustaining. I need companionship, friendship, and to just be wanted for me, not just for my abilities. Over the last few years I have become invisible and the loneliness has become unbearable. I don’t need to explain further. I already know that you probably found this note because I didn’t show up for the fall staff meeting, which means I have been gone for over two months and no one even noticed. That is all the explanation I need give. I know you all will continue the fight and I wish you all well.

Ororo.�

Charles folded the letter and put it carefully back into the envelope.

Jean found her voice first, “I don’t understand, why didn’t she come to me, we were friends.�

“You didn’t even notice she was gone, none of us did,� Logan snorted in disgust, stomping out of of the room.

Chapter 2: Reflections

Logan pulled his boots off as he entered the kitchen, not wanting to track the mud in. He had been running through the woods adjacent to the mansion in mud from the morning dew. He had been doing a lot of that lately, running wild in the bush, ever since they found Ororo gone. He blamed himself, he should have been here, he should have never left like he did that first time… never should have left her. He expected her to be here safe and protected when he got back, like before, like always, and now it was as if something tilted in him, how he saw things, how he felt. He knew he would have to go after her. Now, though, all he needed was Jean bitching at him. He couldn’t figure out what he had seen in her, wasting all that time chasing after her. She could be a real bitch sometimes. He tucked his boots under his arm and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator before heading up to his room.

He slammed the door behind him, threw his muddy boots on the floor next to the bed, slumped in the big armchair in the corner, and took a gulp of his beer. He took a deep breath, sinking deeper into the chair, the feel of the room calming him. A gentle breeze ruffled the white curtains and he caught a faint scent of sandalwood and jasmine – Ororo. This was her room, her smell was still here. Chuck let him have it since she was gone, and it gave him a sense of peace. That was his argument, anyway, truthfully, it made him feel closer to her.

He closed his eyes, concentrating on that elusive scent, trying to hold it, remembering when he first really noticed it, and recognized it as hers. It was last Christmas. He had come back from a short trip to Michigan, chasing down another wild goose from his forgotten past. Most of the kids had gone home for the holidays and the house was pretty quiet. It was amazing how much noise the kids made, it was if the whole house vibrated, even when everyone was sleeping. And the smells that assaulted his nose non-stop drove him out of the house at times.

It was quiet at Christmas and he was sitting in the Rec room watching t.v. when he caught a whiff of Sandalwood and Jasmine. It was faint, but enticing. He followed it to the library. The door was open and he peeked in. She was sitting curled up in an arm chair reading a book. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and her legs were tucked under her. She looked so serene. He watched her for a few minutes, drinking in her scent, wondering why he hadn’t noticed how alluring it was.

He left her there and went back to the rec room and spent the rest of the night thinking about her. He didn’t really know her, even though they had fought together at liberty island. She was a mystery, so aloof, so quiet. When he first met her, his impression was that she was probably the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but way out of his league. She was regal, powerful and untouchable. He thought she was kind of a snob, but when Chuck had asked him to join the team, and described each team members abilities, he had described her as very shy and in emotional control all the time, since her power was based in her emotions. He could understand that, he was in control all the time to, his animal nature was always fighting for control.

Over the Christmas holidays he caught her scent often, following it to wherever she was, in the library, the greenhouse or just sitting outside at the lake. He would always stay out of site watching her, he didn’t want her to know he was watching, he wasn’t sure why. At meals he would catch her looking at him and she would look away quickly, dropping her eyes. She intrigued him, but he never approached her, she was to good for him. It was during Christmas that he realized he had grown bored with chasing after Jean, the game was old and her shallowness was tiring. He didn’t know how Scott took it, well, he could have her.

Over the next month he had watched her from afar. It was strange how he never thought of her as Ororo or Storm, but as just her or she, as if her name, somehow, made her seem less than what she was… a goddess. She fascinated him, her quiet nature and gentle grace. He never knew any woman like her before. She had secrets, he knew that. He would see her leaving at night sometimes alone, never knowing where she was going. He thought he might follow her sometime but thought better of it. He didn’t want to intrude.

~~
Logan took a swig of his beer, her scent had faded so he pulled out a cigar and lit it. He took a deep drag relishing the flavor and the smell was a reminder of when it first happened.

~~

It was early February and very cold outside. He had just come back from town and was sitting in the kitchen drinking a beer. It was very late, about 2am when she came down to get a glass of milk. He had been sitting in the dark, enjoying his beer, his cigar, and the quiet when she came. She didn’t turn on the overheads just the light over the stove which left him in the dark so he could watch her without her knowing it. She leaned against the counter sipping her milk.

Sandalwood and Jasmine surrounded him, along with… sadness. Why was she sad? He wondered. She turned suddenly, sniffing the air and looked around, listening. He could tell she wasn’t sure if he was actually there or if it was just leftover scent of his cigar. That was when it happened, her control was down and another scent joined the others… desire. She sniffed the air and smiled, crossing her arms across her chest, hugging herself tightly.

He hadn’t seen her smile often, which was a shame, she had a beautiful smile. She threw her head back breathing in deeply, letting out the softest of sighs. Her scent was getting stronger, she was getting aroused by the smell of his cigar.

It wasn’t just desire he could smell, it was want and it was turning him on, his erection pushing painfully against the confining denim of his jeans. He didn’t move, watching her. He made his breathing shallow so she wouldn’t hear him, taking in her scent. It was then he detected something he hadn’t expected. It was intoxicating, and it was surrounding him with it’s sweetness. There was no mistaking it… she was a virgin. She wanted him and her body was calling. He had to get away from her, he could feel his animal need for her clouding his mind, but he couldn’t move without her knowing he was there. If he didn’t do something soon his animal would take her right there in the kitchen. He was frantic, trying to figure out what he could do when she suddenly turned, put her empty milk glass in the sink and quickly left the kitchen. He waited a moment, making sure she was gone before he grabbed his coat off the seat next to him and ran from the house. He didn’t stop until he was safely in the woods before he dropped to his knees and roared.

~~
Logan gulped the last of his beer and threw the bottle in the wastebasket next to the dresser. He let his head fall back on the soft cushion of the chair and ran his fingers through his unruly hair. In hindsight he realized he should have made himself known, should have spoken with her, at least before Valentine’s Day.
~~

It had been a week since the incident in the kitchen and he had so far been successful in avoiding her. He couldn’t trust himself, every time he caught just the slightest whiff of her scent it took all his strength of will to resist it. He had to leave.

The week leading up to Valentine’s day was hectic. The holiday fell on a Saturday, which made that Friday the 13th. Everyone was planning something, whether they were in a couple, or wanted to be. It drove him crazy and made his mood more and more dour. The woman he wanted to be with he couldn’t and Jean was getting even more flirtatious and annoying.

He had informed Chuck earlier in the week that he would be leaving on Saturday, without explanation and Chuck didn’t ask. He figured he would need to be gone only a couple of months, maybe by then he would have control over himself, because right now he was out of control. Getting women in town hadn’t even helped, he found he couldn’t perform for them, all he wanted was her. She invaded his dreams, waking up with erections so hard he could hardly make it to the bathroom before he came all over himself. It was his animal nature, his primal need to mate and she was the one he had chosen. She was untouched and wanting, and she had chosen him as well, but she deserved better than an animal, he wasn’t worthy.

By the time Saturday came he had been either hiding in his room, running in the woods or working out in the Danger Room. He hadn’t attended one meal since that night, avoiding any place she would be. He would sneak into the kitchen at odd hours to eat.

It was Saturday night and he had successfully avoided Jean and Scott and especially her as he made it to the garage. As he packed his bike he caught her scent. She had been in the garage recently. He looked across the vast space and noticed her car was gone. ‘Just as well,’ he thought as he mounted his bike and drove away.

Coming up... Chapter 3: Remembering Valentines Day

Chapter 3: Remembering Valentines Day

Logan sucked on his cigar thoughtfully, if he could go back would he change what happened? Probably not, whatever happened since then was worth that one night. He was sure of it. It was what he did after that he would change if he could. ‘God, I’m such an asshole,’ he thought.

He closed his eyes and remembered that night and the feel of the cold winter wind blowing his hair back as he guided his bike away from the mansion toward town.

It was when he reached the town limits that he decided he needed a drink for the road. The bar he usually went to was in the opposite direction of where he was headed and he didn’t feel like dealing with the rabble that frequented that place. He was in the mood for a quiet drink, not a fight. He headed down the main street of Westchester and pulled up in front of the hotel, it had a bar just off the lobby. It was a little upscale for his taste, but he was only looking to have a couple of beers, so it would do.

The bar was dimly lit with small spotlights creating deep shadows in the booths and corners. Logan walked to the end of the bar closest to the bathrooms, moving as far from the entrance as possible. He sat down on a stool positioning himself so he could see the front door and the bathrooms without having to move, and ordered a beer.

In mid gulp, Logan caught a movement and a slight whiff of a something familiar coming from the direction of the bathrooms and he turned his head slightly to get a better look. Logan choked back the beer he held in his mouth and squeezed his eyes shut tight, groaning deep to his core. She was here, not 10 feet from him. Her back was to him, she was standing at a booth just behind and to the left of where he sat. The brief glance at her back was all he needed to burn her image in his brain. He had only ever seen her dressed in her x-men uniform, jeans, long dresses, or on that rare occasion, as in the kitchen that night, a long silk robe. Logan pressed the heel of his hands into each of his temples as the image of her standing there caressed his desire. She wore a short black dress, the hem hit her at mid thigh and she wore spike heels on her feet. Her hair was pulled up into a high ponytail that draped down her bare back. He took a shuddering breath as he imagined touching the smooth carmel skin of her back and her long, long shapely legs.

It took all of Logan’s will to keep his animal from rushing over to her and taking her right there on the floor of the bar. His erection was pressing painfully against his tight jeans and he clutched his head between his arms, his forehead just inches from the edge of the bar. He buried his face into the arm of his jacket trying to drown out her scent with is own and the calming scent of the aged leather. It wasn’t working though, her scent was surrounding him, taunting him, and getting stronger. He needed to leave but knew his straining erection wouldn’t allow him to move, he could only hope she would leave without noticing him there.

�Hello, Logan,�

Logan’s head snapped up, surprised to find she was now standing at his left elbow.

�Oh, sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,� she said with a smirk.

�Oh, hey, darlin’,� He surprised himself that he answered her. He was sure all that could come out would be a growl. Holding his animal in check was taking all of his will power.

�I am surprised to see you here. I didn’t think this was your kind of place.� She continued, oblivious to his discomfort. His nostrils flared slightly at that alluring scent of sandlewood and jasmine he had come to love.

�I just stopped in for a quick beer. I am heading out.� He said, taking another swig of his beer, trying to keep his hands busy. She was so close he wanted to touch her smooth skin so much he could barely hold himself from her. He noticed she held her coat over her arm and had a deep red rose in her hand. The color of the rose matched exactly the deep red of her perfect lips.

�You’re leaving? How long will you be gone this time?� she asked, not hiding the anxious tone in her voice.

Logan shrugged, downing the last of his beer while watching her closely. He could smell her sadness, underneath her heady natural cologne. He could also smell that she was a little drunk which explained her lack of usual reserve. “I never seen you all dressed up before, you look beautiful, Ro. You meetin’ somebody?� he asked suddenly, not knowing where that came from. The idea that she had a date troubled him more than he had a right to.

�I was meeting someone, but he had to leave town on a job.� She blushed a little at his compliment.

�I didn’t know you had a boyfriend, Ro.� He said fishing.

�Oh, no, he’s just a friend,� she quickly assured him. “Are you in a hurry to leave town or…�

�I’m not in a hurry, whatcha got in mind.� He blurted out. What was wrong with him. He needed to get away from her, even being this close in a public place was driving him insane and here he was flirting with her. He just couldn’t help himself.

�Well, it is Valentine’s Day and… I was wondering if you would mind… just for tonight maybe… I know I am not really your type, but… just this one night maybe we could spend it together… I mean, be my Valentine, just for tonight and… and tomorrow we can go back to being just team mates…� she stammered, blushing hotly.

Logan looked at her closely taking in her scent in, “You drunk Ro?� Dear God, he wanted her so bad...but he couldn't have her. He wouldn't allow himself to do this...

�No, I had a couple of drinks.� She said defiantly.

�I think you had more than a couple.� He said with a smirk.

�Okay, I had a few,� she smiled at him seductively.

�You aren’t drivin’ home are ya?� he felt a sudden protectiveness toward her.

�Oh, no, I have a room upstairs for the night.� She said plainly, “So, what do you say? Will you?� she asked moving closer to him. Before he could answer she brushed her fingers along his cheek and the force of her arousal washed over him like a tidal wave. He groaned, leaning into her hand and breathed in her sweet intoxicating scent. The moment she touched him he was lost and without thought, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her to him burying his face in her neck, kissing her softly under her ear.

�Tonight, I’ll be your valentine.� He growled. He reached in his pocket and threw a ten on the bar and, holding her close, made for the lobby elevators.

The trip to her room went by in a blur. He was only aware of her, her smell, her feel, her arousal. In his condition he would have followed her off a cliff. Logan was only instinctively aware of entering the elevator, exiting the elevator and then entering her room. Once the door closed with a slam they both pulled off their clothing, tossing it heedlessly away on their way to the king size bed in the bedroom. The feel of her skin against his nearly drove him into a frenzy. He lifted her onto the bed, kissing her soft lips, drinking in her very soul.

He leaned over her, stroking the platinum strands back from her face with one fingertip. She was irresistible to him; her need of him, miraculous. He drew back a little, and pressed her back among the pillows. Gratefully, gladly, he moved to her breasts, circling each fevered nipple again and again before suckling there hungrily, one after the other, at last. She sighed and held his head to her breast... but he would not be stayed. His attention, and his mouth, wandered downward; she gasped as his tongue invaded her navel.

He lifted her knees and she opened to him like a flower, her eyes glistening. He marveled at her -- at this most intimate offering -- and reached out to stroke those soft and secret petals...

She arched, whimpering, her whole posture pleaded with him to continue. Delighting in the feel of her soft white pubic curls, he spread her nether lips gently with his thumbs and began caressing her there. The allure of her thus, the sight and the scent of her, was overwhelming, and she opened her eyes in time to see his head bending to her. She felt the bristles of his whiskers brushing her inner thighs, and the heat of his searching mouth.

"Logan!" She writhed against the coverlet as he took her hips in his hands. With unhasty kisses he explored the velvety skin of her thighs, closest to her body. He kissed the tendons stretching taut on either side... and tasted the exquisite hollows beneath. He seemed to be tantalizing her, nearly touching the waiting core of her, only to ease away again.

When finally his mouth assailed her there, she rolled her head against the pillow and nearly wept his name with relief. He seemed not to hear. He held fast, and loved her with his lips and tongue.

"Logan!" she cried, her hips rolling helplessly in his grasp.

Her climax almost took him too. Yet he refused to be overwhelmed. He climbed over her and slipped one hand down between them, the hair of his wrist tickling her tummy, and she could feel a great and fervid pressure at her most secret aperture. Willing her over-excited muscles to relax, she opened herself still more widely.

He kissed her then, taking her mouth once more by surprise; and with a sudden, sinuous movement of his hips, he entered her a little.
She tried not to gasp as he held her there, transfixed. Her entire being was focused -- there -- in a thunderclap of sensation.
Logan felt her silken channel clench and the slight barrier there blocking his way. He held himself just there, barely within her, savoring the instant of this new connection... watching her, and waiting.

Ororo opened her eyes, and lost herself anew in a gaze as gray and fathomless as the sea. She managed a tremulous smile and drew him back down to be kissed... and reassured, he pressed forward.
Her eyes widened, tears gathering in the corners at the pain -- a tearing -- within. She inhaled sharply in spite of herself, biting her lip until she could taste blood. The pain was excruciating but she willed herself to relax, exhaling the breath she was holding.

"Oh," she breathed. "Now, Logan, please."

So tenderly did he impale her then, so deftly thrust and with such gentleness, that what might have been pain was turned instead to pleasure, and the exquisite sense of being filled with him, in that moment nothing else existed for her. Shivering feverishly, she heard a sobbing moan -- her own -- mingle with the almost anguished sound he made deep in his throat as he felt himself fully and finally sheathed within her. He moved to her deeply, held himself throbbing at her very center, this in itself a declaration, an act of possession. He felt the caress of her calves as they rose along the backs of his thighs.

She drew him like a river. She loved the weight of him on her, and the breadth of his hips pressing her thighs wider even as they strained to clasp him more tightly. They seemed everywhere joined, inside and out; every part of her was excruciatingly aware of his touch, his taste, the texture of his flesh against hers. Beneath their heated juncture, a soft-furred heaviness nestled into her welcoming hollow. Her hips rolled seductively against his, summoning a rhythm beyond thought.

He held her tight and moved in short, deep thrusts, barely withdrawing from her body. He was hard and strong within her, filling her utterly. A moment later she moaned deliriously as she felt his throbbing heat surge, swelling further yet. She didn't know how she could take any more, but cried out to him, demanding everything. She ground her pelvis tightly to him and bit down on the muscled flesh at the juncture of his neck and shoulder. His response was instantaneous, the growls escalating to a rushing roar that filled the room with a cacophony of sound and then bit down on her shoulder, his sharp teeth sinking deeply in her shoulder, drawing blood, claiming her, marking her as his, as his questing flesh filled her with his hot seed. His response drove her own, no separation between them. She screamed out his name and lunged against him wildly, the savage convulsions of her flesh eagerly devouring him. Finally, he collapsed, his arms holding his weight heavy against her, his still hard flesh pulsing weakly within her. He licked her shoulder, tasting her blood, soothing any lasting pain she may have.

It was much later when Logan opened his eyes, Ororo sound asleep and warm in the protective circle of his arms. He carefully slipped out of the bed in silence and gathered his clothes from all around the room, dressing quickly. He sat down in the armchair next to the bed and pulled on his socks and boots and then stared solemnly at the goddess sleeping peacefully in the bed. ‘What have I done.’ He thought as his eyes traveled from her beautiful face to her shoulder, badly bruised from his bite mark, to the blood stain standing out in relief against the white sheets. She was so beautiful, he should never have been allowed near her. His eyes moved back up to her shoulder, he hadn’t meant to do that, he lost control. He marked her… claimed her… he had never done that before, had never wanted to with any woman he had ever been with, and there had been a lot of them. She can’t know what that means, she must never know.

Ororo had only wanted only this one night. ‘Tomorrow she will regret this,’ he knew. He had to leave, get away, he couldn’t trust himself with her any longer, the need to take her again nearly overwhelming him. Logan grabbed his jacket off the floor next to the door, taking one last look at her sleeping form and left.


Up next: Chapter 4: Found Journal