|Present day|
So here I lie, flat on my back, my mouth and nose bleeding and my body wracked with pain. For a moment I forget what happened to me that got me to this point, who has done this to me, but the stinch coming from his body, and his hot foul breath reminds me.
"So ya ready yet, Bitch?" His gruff voice fills my ears and I turn away only to have my head painfully yanked back, by his fistful of my hair. Was I ready? For what, to be humiliated, beaten, raped, possibly killed. Why not, that's what has occurred, what I have allowed for so long now. Why should this situation be any different, why should he be any different then all the other 'men' in my life. So I face him dead on, stared into his icy glare.
"Whatever." I spit out and I can tell it's not what he had expected to hear me say, nor wanted me to say. No he wants me to cry, scream, beg him not to hurt me, why should I. I never did with Bishop, nor with Logan. I allowed them both to treat me as they wanted, thinking they cared, believing their lies of 'I love you' and 'I'd never hurt you'. Why should I start caring now, I brought this on myself all of it. And here I lie readying to receive what I now know I deserve, what I was meant for, the only thing I am good for. Goddess, how is it that I came to be this 'thing' that I am?
|8 months ago|
"It's not you, it's me." He said as he moved about the room grabbing things from the dresser drawers and closet, and then throwing them inside his open bag. "I meant to tell you before now, last night..."
"Last night?" She repeated now looking at him. "When, before, after or during our lovemaking?" He stopped at her words and turned to her.
"That was your provoking, RoRo,"
"Provoking?" She laughed a little at this word. "I see, I provoked you into making love to me, you the man I love, am engaged to, have been with since I was fifteen."
"Yes, and haven't you ever wondered what your life would be like if you had not been with me so long?"
"Yes, and I don't like to think about it, but it's obvious you have thought on it and have decided your life would be better." She said bowing her head a bit, trying to will back the tears wanting to fall.
"RoRo," He moved to her and kneeled at her feet. "This has nothing to do with you, I love you, I do, but I need to be free...of this place, the responsibilities it entails, free of 'this' life..."
"And free of me?" She asked no longer able to hold back her tears.
"You're tied to this place RoRo, honestly if I asked you to come with me would you go?"
"I do not know, would you actually ever ask me to?" He looked at her for a moment as she looked back awaiting an answer, but he only stood and kissed the top of her head as he grabbed his bag and moved to the door, leaving her sitting on 'their' bed.
"Goodbye RoRo."
|Present day|
That day had been the beginning of the end, that very moment I began my descent into this darkness that now, always, surrounds me, embracing me like a lover, though I had no idea it was occurring and had actually thought that I would survive it all. I thought that I would be happy again, and for a moment, just a sliver of a moment, I was happy, 'he' made me happy.
|6 months ago|
"Ya know ya can't hide out here forever." Spoke the man that had been leaning against the nearby tree watching her as she lay upon the grass, staring up into the sky. She had known he was there from the moment he stopped, but she knew him and thought that he would never speak, since he never seemed to care enough to before. "Shit happens kid, ya jus gotta roll with tha punches, deal wit it and move on." He continued his 'pep' talk as she continued to seemingly ignore him, as she silently prayed he would go away. "Ya think Bishop is somewhere sulking like this over you?" He asked hoping to snap her out of this sad state she had sunk into. He hated seeing this woman he had come to think of as strong and powerful, the true leader, nevermind what Scott thought, of the X-Men, looking so beaten. He knew her fiery nature, which he thought was much like his own, would not take a comment like the one he just gave sitting down, that she would get up off the ground, brush her self off, throw her head high, and say Bishop be damned. Instead, he saw her face crumble and her body quake with her hysterical crying.
"Shit Ro, please stop cryin, I didn't mean ta make ya cry. I'm sorry darlin." He pleaded as he now crouched beside her too afraid to touch her but trying to comfort her nonetheless.
"Wauthinkwouhappun." She wailed out and he bunched his brow in confusion, totally lost on what she had said.
"Sorry darlin I didn't catch that, I don't understand ya." She sucked back her tears for a moment and threw him a glare.
"Obviously," She hissed out. "Only a complete dumbass would say what you said to me." She added and received a hard glared from Logan.
"I came out here ta help, not ta be insulted."
"Help?" She repeated in disbelief. "You call that Helping? What you did not think I felt bad enough having the man I love leave me without much of a reason why, so you decided to 'help' by proclaiming he's off having a grand old time to boot? Thank you Logan, thank you very much."
"Look I was just trying ta snap ya out of this funk yer in, it aint like ya..."
"How would you know, you don't know me nor anything about me. What, I am not allowed to be sad, to grieve a loss, to cry? Just because you can turn off your emotions with a switch does not mean the rest of us can as well, Logan."
"Fine," He hurriedly stood up and looked down at her with hard eyes. "Be a bitch, but remember I aint tha one who dump yer highclassed ass, so don't take yer shit out on me." With that he turned and stalked off.
She had found him exactly where she had expected, in the kitchen leaning against the counter top, gulping down a beer. He stood as so he could see anyone approaching the door as if knowing she would come in after him. When she did enter he watched her, still gulping back his drink, and when he brought the bottle from his lips he remained silent, awaiting her actions. She knew he wouldn’t speak first, much as she had known he would not wonder off far after their tiff, showing his dominating nature and his pride. With a heavy sign and another moment’s pause she finally spoke.
“Logan I apologize for my earlier behavior,” She said in all sincerity but he gave no acknowledgment to it, or to her presences really. Were it not for the fact that he was staring directly at her she would have thought he had not seen her walk in the room. “You are not the one I am upset with, so I should not take my anger out on you.” Still he remained silent, which suddenly began to irritate her. “Did you hear what I said?”
"Yeah I heard ya.” He finally replied but then said nothing more.
“And do you accept my apology or not?” Ororo asked folding her arms across her chest awaiting his answer, in turn Logan simply lifted his beer to his lips again and took a swig.
“Depends,” He finally spoke after swallowing his drink. “I’ll forgive ya if you forgive me, I shouldn’t have said what I did, I realize it was a bit harsh.”
“More than a bit, but you are forgiving nonetheless.” Ororo said with a smile as she now moved to where he stood, reaching out she grasped his bottle of beer, placed it to her mouth, and down the rest as Logan watched her with and impressed eye and a smirk. As she lowered the now empty bottle and let out an unladylike belch, which she made no apology for, she looked over at Logan. “You have anything…stronger?” Logan’s grin widened.
An hour had passed and the two friends continued sitting in the smoke filled bar, as people fought, cursed, and danced around them. The couple drank and talked, but only one had gotten toasted and began to rant, while the other just sat and listened.
“What’s wrong with me?” The woman spoke out louder than she probably would have had she not had so many drinks.
“Not a damn thing.” A man at the table next to them replied, causing Ororo to turn and lift her glass to him, before she continued talking to Logan.
“Are I not attractive, desirable.” She continued.
“Hell yeah you are!” Again the man spoke out and again Ororo toasted him her thanks, which he smiled to until he noticed Logan’s heavy glare on him, and he quickly looked away.
“Darlin the problem here aint you. There aint nothing wrong with you, yer perfect, gorgeous, sexy…”
“Oh yeah then why has my ‘man’ just kick me to the crib, as Rogue so eloquently stated it?” Ororo asked with a pout and Logan wasn’t sure if it was due to what she had said or to the fact that her glass was now empty.
“Simple, Bishop’s an idiot.” Logan said and Ororo instantly shot him a displeased look.
“No he’s not. I’ll have you know that Bishop’s very intelligent, you should hear some of the debates he and Hank have over the most complex things, and some of his ideas on time travel and…”
“Fine I get it, he’s a genius,” Logan cut off her ranting. “But he has got to be the biggest fool I’ve ever met.”
“Yeah?” Ororo said more as a question than an agreement.
“Yeah, only a damned fool would give up a woman like you Ro.” At his words Ororo threw him a goofy, pleased expression, which quickly turned into a frightened, soured one.
“Goddess I think I shall be sick.”
“Thank you Logan.” Ororo said in a partial groan and gasp, as she sat on his bathroom floor, leaning against the toilet as he fisted her hair, holding it back, from his seat on the side of the tub.
“Fer what getting ya drunk and then lettin ya throw up all over me?” He asked with an amused smirk on his face.
“No, for letting me vent,” She replied as she looked up at him. “And sorry about your shirt.” She said sitting back a bit, now resting her back against his leg.
“Don’t worry about it,” He said as she released her long tresses and went about unbuttoning his flannel shirt, pulling the damp garment from his body and tossing it in the nearby sink. Ororo watched him as she now sat with her back resting against the tub. Logan noticed her eyes on him and took the defensive. “What?” He asked gruffly, causing Ororo to flinch a bit at the tone and to instantly tear her eyes away from him.
“Nothing, I…sorry.” She replied with her eyes still fixed on the floor.
“What ya aint never seen a man’s chest before?” Logan asked as he moved and retrieved a washcloth from the sink, which he wet with warm water and then handed it to a now blushing Ororo.
“Yes of course I have, I was with Bishop and he is a man, but he…you…have a lot more…” She didn’t know how to continue, she didn’t want to offend Logan, or upset him in anyway she knew the man had quite a temper.
“Muscles?” He supplied, with a smirk.
“No,” Ororo answered with a giggle and a roll of her eyes, which quickly bunched up as she thought on it more. “Well actually yes, but I was going to say you have more hair.” She finally said and then coyly dropped her head.
“What, ya got a thing against hairy guys, Ro?” Logan teased as he grabbed another flannel shirt from the hook on the back of the bathroom door, putting it on, but not bothering to button it.
“Oh no,” Ororo quickly replied, again hoping not to offend him. “I think it’s sexy…and Goddess I cannot believe I just said that out loud.” She groaned a bit and Logan threw his head back and laughed outright. She looked up at him as a smile crept across her face it was a rare thing to see Logan laugh so genuinely and openly.
“It’s alright, Ro. I won’t tell anyone ya think I’m hot.”
“What? I never said...” She started to protest but knew the lie would be even more obvious if she spoke it, so she opted to change the subject. “Never mind, here help me up.” She said as she held out her hand, which he grasped into his larger, firmer one, and then yanked her to her feet. The second she stood on them her legs seems to buckle, if it had not been for Logan’s quick reflexes, she would have fallen. He easily scooped her up into his arms and then moved them from the bathroom. “Think I got up too fast.” Ororo commented as she clung to him. Logan moved and deposited her atop his king sized bed.
“Yeah that can happen when yer a bit drunk darlin. Ya can borrow one of my shirts and, freshin up if ya like.” He said as he moved to his dresser, opening the drawer and rummaging inside, after a few moments he pulled out what he had apparently been seeking, he then turned to toss the garment to Ororo, but found her already sound asleep in his bed. A small smile crossed his face at the sight of her sleeping so peacefully, something he knew she had not done well since Bishop’s departure. “Well I hope ya don’t hog the covers darlin,” He said as he watched her a few seconds more before going in his bathroom to shower.