Part I
After the wake, Scott stopped talking. It was immediate, and it was final, like he had anticipated this action and planned for it far in advance; Scott’s resolve to stop talking was that solid.
Some months later, when everyone had grown accustomed to Scott not speaking, Ororo noticed he had stopped listening as well. She could talk to him a mile a minute and, where there had previously been searching eyes and the occasional fleeting smile, there was nothing. The curtains had drawn, and Scott had ceased to communicate at all.
Ororo wasn’t surprised, then, when one day Scott had simply vanished. His presence had diminished so much, his reactions to the world around him so simple and careless, that a small part of her had wondered when he would finally decide to go. Logan hadn’t been so understanding.
“I know where the kid went,” he declared as they sat together in the professor’s office. Ororo hesitated before saying anything, instead deciding to watch Xavier’s carefully blank face. There was no question the professor already knew every location Scott had been since leaving the mansion “ it was likely he was tracing Scott’s progress along so many highways and backwater dirt roads.
“Scott is an adult,” Ororo finally elected to say, always irked that since Scott’s decision to stop speaking, Logan had slowly slid from calling him “one eye” to referencing him as a child instead. “He may go as he pleases, and when he is ready to return he will.”
“He’s on a bad path,” Logan grumbled. “There’s no telling what he’s set out to do.”
“I am concerned for Scott’s welfare,” the professor said. “However I am not at the liberty of forcing someone to stay here when they have no desire to remain with us. That was always my policy with you, Logan, if you remember.”
“What if he’s left to go looking for trouble?” Logan replied. “I’d say that’s reason enough to go get his ass and haul him home.”
“Logan, please,” Ororo frowned. “We all know where he went. I hardly think he is looking for any trouble. I believe he is seeking closure more than anything else.”
“So we’re just going to wait it out and arrive too late when we find out he’s gone off his rocker in the middle of nowhere?”
“That’s not what I’m suggesting…” Ororo began.
“Then what are you suggesting?” Logan interrupted. “I just can’t see how freezing his ass off staring at a lake is going to get him anywhere closer to accepting things than he can here. Jean’s been dead for months…”
“And Scott loved her for years,” Ororo replied, taking her turn to interrupt. “I think you might remember that, given your role in things before she died.”
“I will continue to monitor him,” the professor broke in before Logan could continue any argument. Instead Ororo watched with some silent satisfaction at Logan’s clenched jaw. “If I anticipate anything should go wrong with Scott I’ll have both of you at Alkali to retrieve him. Right now, however, my hopes and feelings are that he will decide to return to us when he deems he is ready and not before.”
Ororo looked down at her hands while Logan just tightened his into fists.
“I think you both have classes to see to,” Xavier said when a knock on the door announced the arrival of his morning physics class.
They both slipped out of the office as the children streamed in, her composure and his tense anger visible to the students, whose loud voices dimmed to a wide-eyed murmur. Ororo ignored their reactions and simply headed down the hallway to her classroom, trying to ignore Logan’s fast footfalls behind her. Then he grabbed her arm, spinning her around.
“Do not do that, Logan,” she said, beating him to the punch. With a sharp tug she freed herself and turned back around, intent on being somewhere else. Logan had other ideas.
“So you’re really just willing to wait for him?” he called down the hallway, his voice echoing off the wood paneled walls and probably creating a stir among the students, who were invariably listening.
“What are our other options?” she asked. “Scott is free to do as he likes, Logan. We all are free to come and go as we choose, yourself included. We did not restrict your traveling, in fact it was encouraged.”
“I’m not exactly like Cyke,” Logan replied, walking up to her now and looking down at her. Ororo stood her ground, tipping up her chin to stare him down.
“You have different reasons,” Ororo conceded. “We all have different reasons. Unfortunately we do not know his, nor can we presume anything. The professor will stay in touch with him.”
“Too bad the kid isn’t exactly up to giving out any information,” Logan said darkly. “I’m pretty sure it’s not all sunshine and rainbows in his head.”
“Perhaps not,” Ororo said, lowering her voice. “I cannot imagine any of us dwelling on the happy and light under the circumstances.”
Logan considered her for a beat, his lips curling into a disgusted sneer. “Under the circumstances I’d say you’re fairing damn well.”
“What do you mean?” Ororo asked, voice rising again.
“Come on, ‘Ro. You’re the picture of composure. Have you shed a tear since Jean died, or would that be too much effort?”
“Are you suggesting that I have somehow gone unaffected by my best friend’s death?” Ororo asked scathingly.
“That’s precisely what I’m saying,” Logan replied. “Jean’s dead, Scott’s gone crazy, and you’re content sitting here playing queen bee.”
“That notion is ridiculous, Logan,” Ororo said with an empty laugh. “That you think I seem to be attempting to climb an imaginary hierarchy I find amusing. What I don’t find amusing is the suggestion that I am frigidly unconcerned about all of this. That it is coming from you is intolerable.”
“And why’s that?” he asked smugly, as though he thought she couldn’t bring out the card she’d played in other various arguments they’d had after Alkali.
“Your own grief has been very touching, Logan,” Ororo told him. “Quite so for a woman who never wanted you as you continually wedged your way into her relationship with Scott. That you are such the concerned friend now is disgusting to me.”
“I made my amends,” he growled, suddenly grabbing her upper arms and drawing her close, threatening her by bringing her closer to him. Ororo reared her head back and glared at him, unthreatened and only so much angrier.
“You have made little effort to understand anything going on here,” Ororo spat at him, letting him hold on to her as she threw her barbs. “You could not understand myself or, Goddess forbid, Scott right now if it, what is it you say? It if bit you on the ass, Logan.”
At that she could feel his fingers tightening on her, but still Ororo stood there, uncaring about bruises as she refused to writhe out of his grasp. She held her back straight and watched the emotions play across her face, briefly wondering if she would have to take some evasive action if things went too far. She could feel the static electricity shivering up her arms at the mere thought.
“Logan!”
A sharp voice brought everything to a halt, and Ororo found herself almost physically shoved away from him when Rogue appeared in the doorway to her classroom, Bobby standing cautiously behind her.
“What on earth is going on?” Rogue asked, taking her chances and walking out into the hallway to meet the situation.
“A disagreement,” Ororo stated, giving Rogue the benefit of a small smile.
“You could say,” Logan added gruffly, then let the tension drain when Rogue reached out to softly grip his wrist with her gloved hand.
“From the sounds of it, I think you could definitely say that,” Rogue said with a concerned look between the two of them. She let her hand drop from Logan’s wrist and crossed her arms across her chest, as though she were expecting an explanation. Logan considered her, saying nothing.
“It’s not important. I think we should get to class,” Ororo said to Rogue, directing her back to the classroom. Bobby and Rogue hesitantly headed back to class, Ororo on their heels before stopping in the doorway to glance back at him. Logan glowered at her from the hallway, promising more violent arguments later with nothing more than his dark glare.
“This is finished,” she told him, then shut the door.
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