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Ororo pulled out her hair tie allowing her medium length white hair to fall over her mocha brown shoulders. After training in the Danger Room for the past four hours she was ready to relax. Sure training sessions with Peter weren't as tiring as they were with Logan, but relaxing in a bath was in store. Logan had of course taught her everything she new about fighting hand to hand combat.

Logan...the man I've secretly loved since he walked into Xavier's office two years ago. Our eyes met across the room, and I felt a strange pull towards him. But as soon as Jean walked in and he saw her I was the farthest things from his mind. And when the professor died I thought we had something when we held each other and cried. But as soon as we got home he went into her room and smelled her perfume and I was again pushed from his memory. I had frequently sought council with Xavier about our feral x-men, and he would always say follow your heart. I would always respond what to do in the end when even your heart has no answer. He would smile and give me that 'Ororo you know better than anyone what to do'. Yet I sit here in my room and I am as lost as I was when I was eight living in Egypt. That man is both frustrating and calming. Aggravating yet addicting, and dangerous yet funny. The way his eyes could be deadly and then be as sweet as a childs when he looked at the younger students. He's changed since the Professor's death, more timid I would say. As if he doesn't know where to go or where to turn. After I gave him my speech about him being with us there was a fire in his eyes, but when I look at him now all I see is emptiness. Like he has no reason to fight anymore, and I think was Jean really the fire in his heart, the flame that fueled his rage. His power...his essence. It seems I'm not the only one who has noticed his change, Marie or fondly known as Rogue came up to me and asked if I knew what was wrong with our fellow x-men. I simply shrugged and shook my head, if I had to have admitted that the only reason for him to stay here besides Rogue; had died I would not have been able to keep my resolve. The only thing that keeps me going and teaching for these kids is my promise to Charles. That I would continue on his dream and have a place for mutant children to go to, when the rest of the world fears and hates them. A place I wish I had when I was there age, to feel comfort and love. To be among children and peers there own age. To learn that what they were given was a gift and not a curse, and that they are not 'freaks and monsters' that they are just like everybody else. I feel that I can truly be able to make it through the day and keep it together if not for me then for them. To see there smiles when they answer the questions and get them right, or running and having fun on the grounds. Celebrating birthdays and other holidays. To see young love sprout and blossom like the flowers in the spring. It seems that I am the only thing that doesn't blossom and open in the warmer months. That I am permantly frozen and heart less, thou I feel my heart breaking every day.

Ororo's thoughts were interrupted when she hears muffled foot steps passing her room. Slipping on a pair of black sweats and a tank top, walking slowly to her door she opens it and steps out. Walking down the stairs she follows the sound to the garage and sees Logan there pulling on his jacket about to leave on Scott's old bike.

"What are you doing ?" She asks leaning against the door frame watching him.

"What does it look like I'm doing darlin ? I'm leavin, can't stay here anymore." He said not looking at her.

"You can't...we need you here. I need you, I can't do this on my own !" Ororo said walking further into the room.

"If the professor didn't think you could handle he wouldn't have asked you to do it. You'll be fine with out me, hell it will same you aggravation !" He said finally looking up at her form the bike and his pack. Logan just stood there staring at her transfixed at the sight before him. Ororo Munroe standing before him wearing nothing but sweats and a tank top but looking like a goddess. Her white hair slightly mussed and her sparkling blue eyes holding unshed tears, and behind her the illumination from the open door made her look like a fallen angel. Sighing he walks towards her closing the distanstance between them.

"I have to go, but I want you to come with me !" He said watching her closely. When upon seeing the look of shock and being taken aback he smiles and brushed a thumb across her cheek.

"We'll be back, just come with me...if only for tonight !" Logan says takign her hand and leading her towards the bike.

"Logan...I don't think this is a good idea." Ororo says standing next to the bike not getting on.

"Then don't think, just hold on to me." He say taking her hands helping her onto the bike. "I won't let anything happen to you !"

"Promise.." She said more to herself than to him.

"Yes darlin I promise." Logan says as he starts the bike.

Holding onto Logan as we speed down the winding roads is perfect. He is so warm and surprisingly soft. He promised he wouldn't let anything happen to me, but how can he keep that promise when he is breaking my heart unknowingly. Yet I still love him, the way he smells of beer and cigar smoke. The way he would smirk when we used to spar, and I'd get him square in the jaw. The way he watches the children everyone when he thinks were not paying attention. The fiery look in his eyes after a session in the danger room. The way it feels to have him this close to me and it not be weird or uncomfortable. These things I wish I could tell him and he'd turn around and smile, telling me not to cry that he feels the same way. To stay this way forever, and not have a care in the world.

Logan smelled the tears before he felt the rain against his skin. He knew she hadn't cried since Charles had died and neither had he, stopping her know would be worse than letting her emotions run the situation for a little while. Slowing down he pulls over and turns off the bike, as both the rain and her tears become harder. Taking her arms off his waist he picks her up and carries her over to a patch of trees to try and get her out of the rain. After a while Ororo opens her teary blue-grey eyes and looks at him.

"I'm sorry about the rain." She says still holding on to him.

"Don't worry about it. A little rain never hurt anybody!" He says tucking a strand of wet hair behind her ear. When she shudders and looks away he brings her back to look at him. "Beautiful.." He whispers not meaning to say it aloud.

"Logan..?" Ororo says as the rain slowly dies down.

"Your beautiful. I'm just surprised I didn't see before. I guess I did but I just never said it."

"Please...didn't say that. Not unless you mean it !" She says closing her eyes.

"What makes you think I don't mean it ?" Logan says watching her closely.

"You still love Jean, you don't say it but I know you do. I see it in your eyes and by the way you act when anybody brings her up." Ororo says trying to pull away from him. Logan stares at her for a few seconds trying to understand what she had just said. He lets her go and looks off into the distance.

"I loved Jean...well at least I thought I did. When she spoke to Scott that day at the lake and not me, I knew she had chosen him and not me. Then she was back, but when she kissed me I knew that wasn't 'my' Jean. My Jean was gone, even if she was never really mine to begin with. I don't think I really ever loved her the way I thought I did, Jean awakened feelings I never thought I was capable of feeling. I was drawn to her because of that, and also because I couldn't have her. She was some unatainable treasure that already belonged to someone. She was a challenge and in a weird and cruel way she was just that. Somthing I couldn't have but wanted just because of it. The fact that Scott got so riled up over it made the animal in me enjoy the 'game' even more." He said running a hand through his wet hair in frustration. "But when you gave me that 'If your with us, then be with us' speech I was so angry that you were able to see right through me. See what I wanted to hide to badly, so desperately. I made the choice to stay with you and the x-men because I felt that it was my place to fight beside all of you. When Charles died and you held me and made sure I stayed with it not letting the pain and anger take hold of me, I felt a different kind of feeling. Somthing I don't think I have ever felt, a feeling that I could be the Logan nobody sees. The one that has fears and emotions besides anger and rage. The vanaurable and weak Logan, just plain old me, like you will never judge me no matter what happens." Logan says turning her back to face him. When he looks into her eyes he feels like she can see straight into his soul, no boundries no walls...just him.

"Do you really mean that ?"

"Darlin I don't say anything I don't mean !"





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