Additional Notes and Disclaimers –

I don’t own these characters and no copyright infringement is intended here.

Please note that I have tried to keep the X-men in character based on how they appear in the animated series of the 90’s. However, I have made Bobby’s character a bit more like a blend of how he appears in the movies, the comics, and a bit of my own thoughts instead (and so obviously, his background here doesn’t follow TV canon). I ask Alpha Flight fans to forgive me; I’ve taken much more liberties with this team and their backgrounds.

The story will alternate between being told in first person by Bobby and being told by an omniscient narrator.

This fic is somewhat similar to an X-men fic I wrote years ago, but I don’t intend this to be a re-write. Rather, it’s a different take on what might have happened. And just so you know, I tend to write long fics and I do complete them. I can’t provide you a “quick hit” but if you don’t mind spending time with a story, I hope you might like this one.

***

“Everything is the same and everything is different” -- unknown

Professor Xavier turned over again, trying to steady his mind and determine whether he was dreaming or conscious. His mind was receiving a jumble of messages and his sheets were slightly damp with perspiration. At some level, he knew that his discordant slumber had nothing to do with the Friends of Humanity’s rise to power and their overarching control, though that fact haunted his waking life. But it was two in the morning and the messages continued to assault his brain.

One of the messengers was Magneto but his words were indecipherable. Xavier knew that his old enemy had left earth on a starship, determined to regroup and amass the resources needed to battle FOH from space. Erik called out to Xavier, but his words were nonsensical and Xavier couldn’t determine whether the message was a call for help or a warning.

The second communication was even less tangible and Xavier wasn’t sure if the messenger was even human. A string of repeating numbers comprised most of the communication – Xavier thought they might be coordinates of some sort and had written them down last time he had received a similar message from the same mysterious source. By now he had the coordinates committed to memory. The only word Xavier could decipher from this communication was “healing”. It echoed again and again. When he dwelled on the word and the coordinates, a restorative feeling overcame him -- but it did not last.

Several hours later, Xavier rose from the bed and began to prepare for the day. He knew that further sleep wasn’t going to be a possibility and he had much work to do. He soon sat down to breakfast with Cyclops and Jean Grey inside his spacious room. He shared his messages with them.

“They do sound like coordinates,” Cyclops agreed, as he wrote the numbers down and decided that he, too, would commit them to memory just to be safe. “Are you sure this second message isn’t from Magneto? If he left earth to form some sort of battalion against FOH, wouldn’t it make some sort of sense for him to be giving you his location in space?”

“I cannot say why,” Xavier said, dipping his spoon into his oatmeal, “but I’m certain that this second message is not from Erik”. He added, “Besides, I’m sure that at this point, Erik wouldn’t want me to find him as he knows I’m certain to try and stop him”.

Scott and Jean exchanged a look. If Magneto were trying to take out FOH, neither of them would have been all that eager to dissuade him or his followers right now. Perhaps a few years ago their attitudes would have been different. But a few years ago FOH didn’t control the governments and media of every super-power on the planet. A few years ago mutants weren’t barred from attending schools or speaking in public. Jean shuddered slightly; Scott noticed her fear and gently touched her arm.

After a bit of silence, Cyclops spoke. “Storm and I met last evening to prepare for today’s briefing,” he said, of the X-men’s co-leader. “We should be ready to go at 10:30”. Scott would have liked to start the briefing earlier, but he grudgingly had to be accommodating of the fact that so many members of the group were not “morning people”.

Xavier nodded. He saw expectant looks on the faces of two of his favorite pupils, and suddenly a question popped into his mind. He had been far too preoccupied with FOH’s dominance and his mysterious messages lately to notice that something had been brewing. In the space of an instant, he suddenly suspected the news. “Do you
have something to tell me?” he asked.

Jean and Scott again exchanged a look and smiled. “We’re pregnant!” Jean announced and failed to contain a wide grin. She and her husband reached over Xavier’s hoverchair for their hugs. Xavier offered his sincere congratulations.

“I am quite awestruck,” Xavier murmured. “You’ll be the first of my students to have children of your own”.

“We know this isn’t the best time
” Scott began.

“
but there’s never going to be a ‘right’ time, not for us mutants anyway,” Jean finished. “If we wait until peace and harmony is achieved between humans and mutants, we’ll be far too old to have kids. We can’t postpone the things we want to do with our lives forever. And besides, we should be able to protect our child, here with all the X-men”.

“I still hope we might soon see the day when peace is achieved,” Xavier said quietly.

Cyclops and Jean had their doubts but they did not verbalize them.

***

“Mornin’ Jubes,” I said, running into Jubilee in the kitchen.

“I told you not to call me that!” she exclaimed, swatting me on the back with the cereal box. She’s told me a million times, but I still say the nickname’s kinda cute. Jubilee then rummaged around the refrigerator. “Don’t tell me we’re out of milk,” she grumbled.

“You know I wouldn’t let that happen. It’s right there, behind the orange juice,” I answered. Soon she and I were sitting down together, hurriedly polishing off our sugary cereal before bounding into the war room in time for the briefing. Hank waved at me when I entered the room.

I looked around the circular table and saw that everyone was present. In addition to our leaders, Cyclops, Storm, and the Professor, sitting around the table were Jean, Rogue, Gambit, Colossus, Wolverine, Hank, Nightcrawler, Angel, Cannonball, Forge, and Jubilee.

Our numbers were a bit lower than we’d have liked. We were still reeling from the loss of Shadowcat in battle against FOH ten months ago. Plenty others had run off and gone underground; some might have joined Magneto. I gotta say this was not the best time to be a mutant, and with Shadowcat’s loss, some of our fighting spirit has evaporated.

Oh, and then there’s me, Bobby Drake. I used to be called Iceman, but you don’t hear that name used much now. I live and work at the Institute with the others, but I don’t train in the Danger Room and I don’t go into battle. I’m a non-combatant, I guess you’d say. I used to train and fight with the others, but I sucked in battle. I was a liability on missions, and years ago Shadowcat once got seriously hurt due to one of my screw-ups. So I stay here with the X-men even though I’m basically on desk duty now.

I started with the X-men when I was 19 and I’m 25 now – I stopped fighting a few years ago. Even though I don’t fight, I do earn my room, board, and stipend. I was always good with numbers; I’ve taken several Accounting classes over the years and I do the books for the Professor each month on time. I also do what I guess you’d call Office Manager work for the Institute. If Xavier or Cyclops tells me to re-organize our files or to research and install new software, I get it done. When Xavier used to go to conferences and speak on mutant rights (nothing like that happens now), I’d research the city and the venue. When we used to have students, I functioned as registrar. We do also have a part-time cook, but when she’s not here, I do the grocery shopping (easy for me since I don’t “look like a mutant”) and cook. I’ve also made the arrangements for every birthday and anniversary party we’ve had, and when we used to be allowed to eat in fancy restaurants for special occasions, I’d make the arrangements too. I make sure I earn my keep, don’t want to get kicked out since I don’t know where I’d go. I guess I could try living on my own but I don’t want to. Ever since my parents kicked me out, the X-men have been my security blanket

Though yeah, I am embarrassed that an 18 year old girl - Jubilee - trains and fights, and I don’t.

So anyway, back to the briefing. First, we got an update on the FOH situation. Storm gave us an estimate of how many starships they had and how many outposts in space they ran. I guess if you could see a silver lining to every cloud, you could notice that we don’t deal much with Sinister or Apocalypse or any of our traditional enemies now. They’ve all more or less disappeared. Storm continued to update us on FOH – how powerful they are, how surveys show most of the public agreed with them, how they run everything. It’s a miracle we don’t all have ulcers now. And it ticks me off that the X-men spent the last several years protecting humans from your Sabertooths and your Mr Sinisters -- meanwhile FOH rose up and took over when our backs were turned and we were helping humanity.

“It is apparent to me,” Storm was saying, “that we need to increase our numbers if we are to defend ourselves against FOH”.

“Yes,” Hank added. “There are only 15 people in this room, and there is a limit to what we can accomplish with only 15 fighters – pardon me, I mean 14 -- no matter how robust our powers may be”.

Hank may’ve corrected himself quickly on his mistake, but still a few heads turned and looked my way. I was the only non-fighter in the room; even the Professor had taken part in several missions when necessary.

The conversation flowed on. The Professor added, “We’ve tried to make contact with Excalibur but I cannot reach them,” he said, sounding bewildered. The poor guy, he really looked stressed out to me. Over the years, I’ve seen a lot of X-men very successfully mask fear and pressure as they go into battle but I think all this FOH garbage really is taking its toll.

“Magneto and his group are gone – not that we’d want to work them anyway,” Cyclops added. I looked over at Wolverine. Obviously, given that we think Sabertooth is still with Magneto’s group, Wolverine would never agree to team up with them.

The Professor shook his head. “The number of mutants who are trained fighters, who do not suffer from emotional problems, and who will fight for the cause of good instead of evil
is very low”.

“And Alpha Flight hasn’t responded to our attempts to reach them,” Storm said. “It’s really a shame that they haven’t. They are the next largest group of well-trained mutant fighters. I think we are going to need to make an alliance with them if we stand a chance against FOH”.

“So then
do we know why they don’t get back to us?” Cannonball asked.

I glanced around the room and saw a few looks being exchanged.

“There’s a rumor that they’re going to follow Magneto’s lead,” Jean spoke up. “Get a starship of their own and leave, though they might not return and fight FOH. If you have enough dilithium, you can last for quite a while in space”.

Someone muttered the word “cowards” under their breath. But can you really blame ‘em?

“But so
there’s gotta be more to it than that,” Cannonball insisted. He’s either brave or stupid to be pursuing this line of questioning, I thought – but then again, he is the newest member of the team.

“Me and their leader don’t get along,” Wolverine said bluntly, speaking up for the first time at the briefing. I’ll never forget the time that Guardian, Alpha Flight’s leader, tried to use force to get Wolverine to rejoin his team. And of course rumor had it that Wolverine had a total crush on Guardian’s wife, a crush that was not unreciprocated. Since Guardian and his wife, Vindicator, are still members of Alpha Flight, it would sure make for an awkward situation if we did team up.

“There is also the sense,” the Professor began diplomatically, “that Alpha Flight’s leader prefers to work on his own. He likes to command his own group and believes that if we were to team up, he’d lose some element of control”.

“Gambit t’ink dere be some competitiveness too,” the Cajun spoke. “Like he don’t wanna admit that his team ain’t as strong or powerful as we are”.

“I think he sounds like a jerk!” Jubilee piped up. You can always count on her to speak her mind.

“Jubilee,” Storm cautioned softly.

“Well, I mean really. We mutants are getting hunted like we’re criminals,” Jubilee flailed her hands, “and it doesn’t seem like this is a good time to be playing control-freak games”.

“There are two sides to every story,” Storm countered. “Who knows what the real reasons are? Perhaps we X-men also could have done a better job over the past few years trying to build a bridge with Alpha Flight”.

“Yeah, well we had our hands full fightin’ Magneto and Apocalypse the past few years – don’t remember them helpin’ us out much then,” Wolverine grumbled.

I looked at him and at Storm and saw their eyes meet.

“I am still bewildered at their lack of interest in at least communicating with us,” Hank said. “I believe that the Canadian government has already reduced or eliminated their funding now that FOH has risen to power in that country as well. I do not believe Alpha Flight has any millionaires among its ranks, so how will they maintain the resources necessary to train and live together?”

“Unless the rumor that they’re heading for space is true,” Storm responded. “I believe that one of their members is not of this world”.

Cyclops added, a note of finality in his voice, “Let’s continue to attempt contact with Alpha Flight. They might change their minds and at the very least, it can’t hurt to keep the door of communication open”.

“We have a few other pieces of business to discuss,” the Professor said, changing topic. “I spoke with Moira and Banshee today. Since their facility has been closed, they are finishing up some business in Scotland and will be joining us, along with their children”.

A few muted cheers were heard at that announcement. I think that everyone likes Moira, and Banshee is pretty cool too. But her son Proteus is way powerful and really did a number on us in the past, especially Wolverine. We have to hope that his powers are under control.

“How old is Banshee’s daughter, I wonder?” Angel asked.

I noticed that Colossus leaned forward in his seat at hearing Angel’s question, and I had to suppress a smirk. Angel tried to make the question sound casual but I knew that it wasn’t. I knew he was hoping she was at least 18. We have a problem here – we have more men than women. We’ve only got four women here – and, well, Jean’s married and Rogue and Remy are more solid and happy together than ever (especially since she has a supply of inhibitor collars now – and so she can suppress her powers just by slipping one on). Jubilee’s an adult now but I think no matter how desperate the guys might get, they wouldn’t go for her since they all think of her as their kid sister. And as for Storm – either the guys are intimidated by her or intimidated by whatever is going on between her and Wolverine.

And it’s not like the old days where there just more options outside the Institute. We’ve gotten so isolated, and there are laws prohibiting mutants and non-mutants from marrying or having sexual relations anyway. So I guess you can see why the guys practically salivate upon hearing that an unattached female will be joining us. I’m sure that cancels out any fears of Proteus, in fact.

The Professor’s face was blank as he answered, “I believe she’s about 17”.

I saw Angel try to cover up disappointment. I’m surprised no one asked when was Siryn’s birthday.

Cyclops then said, “Let’s dispatch a small team to locate the Morlocks. We might not be able to work with them – but you never know. We should at least check in with them”.

“I’ll lead the team,” Storm offered.

Gambit and Nightcrawler volunteered to join her. I mused that we must be getting pretty desperate if we were even considering teaming up with them.

The Professor then smiled and the tension on his face seemed to relax for a moment. He said, “We have business of another sort to discuss now. Scott and Jean have an announcement”.

“We’re going to have a baby,” Jean smiled, beaming.

The room erupted with cheers and congratulations. I was thrilled too. A law was passed last year barring mutants from “knowingly reproducing”, so this was kind of a nice “f you” at the government. Seriously, I know Jean and Scott have wanted this for years and I was really happy for them. This was kind of a neat thing; none of us had kids. It stirred up a bit of excitement for the increasingly abysmal-looking future.

“I will read up on childbirth,” Hank declared.

“Dr. McCoy, I would be so honored if you would deliver this baby,” Jean smiled.

For the rest of the meeting, the team was reminded to maintain their training schedule and Forge spoke briefly about some enhancements to the Danger Room he was making.

As a final note, the Professor then added, “One other item. I do need to also mention that Veronica will no longer be with us”. She was our part-time cook. “Frankly, she has been harassed for working with mutants. However, Bobby has agreed to take over her duties. Thank you, Bobby”.

I smiled and then spoke for the first, and last, time during this meeting, “But if the cleaning service quits, forget it – I draw the line there!” People laughed, which made me happy.

***

Not long after the meeting, Rogue and Gambit finished up a game of pool in the rec room with Bobby.

“You guys know Storm a lot better than I do,” Bobby said. “What is going on with her and Wolverine. Did you see those looks going on between them at the meeting?”

“Sure did. I’m gonna talk to that girl!” Rogue resolved. “Whatever kinda cat n’ mouse game they’re playin’ has to end soon”.

The three found gossiping about their teammates much more satisfying than contemplating FOH’s dominion, and soon the conversation drifted towards Cyclops and Jean.

“Gotta wonder why dey doin’ dis now,” Gambit speculated, after checking to ensure that the three were indeed still alone in the large room. “We wanted dead by FOH and by half the public – not a good time to bring a mutant baby into the world”.

“Sugar, we wait for everyone to love us before we do what we want with our lives, we’re gonna be waitin’ a long time,” Rogue responded.

“I agree,” Bobby added. “You can’t lead your life worried about what the jerks are going to do”.

“Don’t hurt to be practical dough,” Gambit replied. “Maybe dis pregnancy was a surprise,” he added.

Rogue shot him a look. “I don’t think so. They are a bit older than us, Swamp Rat. Maybe they’re thinking it’s now or never”.

“Well I’m happy for them regardless,” Bobby declared as Gambit shot one of the balls into the side pocket, effectively ending the game.

“Good job, sugar,” Rogue purred, and placed a gloved hand over Remy’s mouth to give him a congratulatory kiss. Her collars were in their room so this type of contact would have to do for now. Gambit grinned unabashedly at Rogue’s expression of affection and his win.

Heavy footsteps were heard descending the stairs, and Colossus entered the room. “It’s time for our baseball game – you two are still coming, yes?” he asked.

Rogue took a swig of water before she and Gambit got ready to follow Colossus outside. “Sure you don’t wanna join us?” Gambit asked Bobby, knowing what the answer would be.

“No thanks,” Bobby said breezily. “I’m a gay guy, remember?”

“What’s dat gotta do wit’ it?” Gambit responded.

Bobby shrugged and wished them a good game.

***

You know, I actually have it pretty good here. I don’t have any complaints with how people treat me, especially considering that I’m so different from everyone else. They’re all fighters, and I’m not. They’re all straight and I’m not.

Occasionally some of the others – Storm, Gambit, Hank and especially the Professor – would encourage me to go back to training, to try again to use my powers “for the good of humanity”. They’d tell me I should hit the Danger Room, my mutation could be a really powerful weapon, and on and on. I always shrugged them off.

Cyclops never asked me to train after I stopped doing so but hey, who can blame him? He led the missions that I screwed up on in the early years.

One year for my birthday, Hank got me this book about this guy who’d been a decorated war vet but was gay – I kinda wonder if he was trying to give me a subtle message there. I didn’t even read it, I’m such a slacker.

But like I said, I’m so different than everyone else but they treat me just fine here. In the non-mutant world, the social circle for most gay guys consists of other gay guys and straight women. I live as an X-man though, so my social circle is different. I mean, I live with a dozen straight guys and a few women (who are also all straight, not that that matters when it comes to girls). The women are, unsurprisingly, totally cool with me. I’m friends with them pretty much all of them, closest to Jubilee and Rogue, but Jean and Storm are great too. As for the straight guys here, they’re okay. None of them are openly rude to me and all are at least polite on the surface, though there are some I know who aren’t totally comfortable with homosexuality in general (*cough* Cyclops, Colossus, Nightcrawler, Angel *cough*) – but even those are still fine to interact with. There are a few guys here who I don’t think have a homophobic bone in their bodies so, needless to say, I’m closer to them. Hank, Gambit.

After I came out, the Professor checked in with me a few times and asked how the others were treating me. I had nothing to complain about. I don’t join them when they play sports, but when small groups go out to the movies or a museum I get asked along and I usually go. Before mutants got banned from seeing Broadway shows, I went with the others to a few. The guys have all even gone out for beers a few times -- usually done when the women are at a mall or the salon together – and when Wolverine, Gambit, and Cyclops aren’t trying to kill each other -- and they invite me along too.

Actually one time Cyclops, Wolverine, and Gambit did practically try to kill each other during our beer night, but I’ll tell that story some other time. I actually rescued that scenario with my sense of humor, and when you’re a wimp no one beats you up if you “accidentally” spill a pitcher of beer on others. They’re all used to my screw-ups anyway.

So anyway, you could take the most militant gay activist, show them a video of my life surrounded by straight people at the mansion, and the activist would agree there’s no mistreatment going on. There was once when Colossus misused a term and said something that could be considered offensive, but Storm corrected him and he said he was sorry. English isn’t his first language.

I should add too that I don’t lead the life of a celibate monk. There’s a gay bar in town and I go there about once a week or so. I’ve seen the inside of lots of guys’ vans and apartments, and there’s one guy I hook up with regularly, just for sex. None of them know I’m a mutant; the guy I hook up with is actually married with kids. We always play safe. I try to be very discreet and I hope the other X-men don’t know that I’m going out and having meaningless sex with guys I don’t know. I’d be mortified if they knew what I like in bed, if they knew I was a bottom – though I guess if any of them have dwelled on it they could probably figure it out.

So with the bars, I’m having fun and all but it’s not really what I want. Once I even stopped going for a while and was celibate for about 6 months. Physical needs made me go back but I tell you, emotionally I’m not getting what I want. I don’t go as often anyway now; if one of them figures out that I’m a mutant (sometimes you can lose control of your powers a bit when you’re experiencing something intense), I could get in a lot of trouble.

One last thing, since I’m baring my soul to you on my sexuality. During the briefing today, my ears perked up when Alpha Flight was mentioned because I knew they had a gay member. A few years ago, Wolverine was in a friendly mood and was telling us a bit about his adventures in Alpha Flight, and he looked at me and mentioned that Northstar was “a gay guy”. I really really wanted to meet another gay mutant. I should’ve extended myself and found a reason to contact him, but lazy and shy dork that I am, I didn’t.

***

Storm took a deep breath and inhaled the fresh air. She had no need to use her powers today – the sun was shining, a cool breeze flowed, and the grounds of the Institute still boasted flowers and scenery worthy of a painting. A nagging voice in the back of her mind questioned, ‘Why are we playing baseball when there’s so much to do now?’ but she silenced it with a retort: ‘Because we need to relax every now and then or we won’t be productive. There’s not a lot we can do right now anyway’.

The game wound down, and Storm began to make her way back to the mansion, trailing the others. She soon turned, though, feeling a tug from inside. She spun around and walked towards the flower garden, the place of tranquility where she had spent so many hours cultivating flowers and greenery. She walked towards it, savoring the beauty of the flowers and their multitudes of colors and shapes.

“You do a nice job on this”.

Storm tried to mask the emotions that streamed through her insides at hearing Wolverine’s voice. No, it was not the Canadian’s voice that caused a reaction but rather the subtle shift in *tone* that had been occurring lately, Storm noticed, whenever he spoke to her. It was the almost gentle tone that he had previously used only when speaking to Jean Grey.

“Well, thank you, Logan,” Storm responded, turning to look at him. She added, musing, “This world is such a troubled place, but beauty such as this,” she gestured to the rose bush, “still exists and even thrives”.

“You got a poetic streak in you, darlin’,” Wolverine teased, a slight smile on his face. “Guess Beast ain’t the only one”.

Storm observed that Logan, too, clearly took pleasure in nature’s splendor. Fleetingly she considered asking whether he would like to go camping with her one day, but the words to form the question weren’t presenting themselves.

Before Storm could say anything, Wolverine abruptly changed topic. “You need help on the Morlock mission?”

“I appreciate the offer, but I think that for this one, a small team will be more than adequate. Nightcrawler, Gambit, and I will do well”.

“What about your claustrophobia?” he asked, again his voice sounding so unusual because a certain gentleness eased the bluntness of the question.

“Well, Logan, I strongly feel that I need to face my fears straight on if I am ever to conquer them. I struggled the last few times we had to search the tunnels, I won’t deny it, but I feel that I am up to the challenge”.

Storm noticed a glint of admiration in Wolverine’s eyes. The excitement coursing through her insides picked up in intensity. There was so much she wanted to ask Wolverine. Did the news of Jean’s pregnancy impact him, was he accepting the fact that Jean would never be his? Or had he reached that decision a few years ago, at the wedding? Her eyes then narrowed slightly, wondering why Wolverine had brought up her claustrophobia. Was it concern for her or did he need to feel protect and be stronger than any woman in whom he was interested? Inwardly, Storm shook her head. She still was not certain that he *was* interested in her, though she know her own feelings on the subject.

“Well lemme know if you change your mind. Good luck,” Wolverine offered and then took his leave of her.

Storm remained in the garden, in contemplation. Thoughts of Logan were not the only ones swirling around her mind. She meant it when she had remarked on both the beauty and the strife of the world. ‘The earth could be such a paradise but we make it into such a hell. Am I foolish for feeling safe here? Can I blame the mutants who have gone underground or left for space?’

Dimly, Storm heard footsteps.

“So does he finally got his damn fool head outta his butt??”

Storm laughed and shook her head. “Rogue, I hardly feel that question is phrased appropriately”.

Rogue shrugged. “Just wonderin’ what’s goin’ on with you two. Everyone can see the way you look at each other”.

Storm placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. Rogue wondered if Storm was truly at a loss for words, as a few moments went by in silence.

Storm finally said, “You know that when I have something to share with you, I’ll share it.”

Rogue actually doubted her friend’s words; Storm kept her emotions in such a lockbox. Rogue briefly marveled at the control it would take to keep one’s emotions under wraps at all times. She could never do it.

“But for now,” the Wind Rider continued, “the only exciting romantic gossip taking place here is watching the men get excited over Siryn’s impending arrival”.

“And them wonderin’ if she’s of legal age,” Rogue rolled her eyes, though she did have some empathy for her male teammates’ frustration at the difficulty in finding female companionship.

“The other men are simply not as lucky as Remy,” Storm stated.

“An’ I won’t let him forgit it!”

***

TO BE CONTINUED

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