Three years, and it's always the same with the new students. You'd think being mutants themselves they'd be used to it.
But it never fails.
There's the whispers they don't think I hear. "Claws?" "Claws. *Metal* claws." "*Metal claws?* No way! What kind of a mutation is *that?*" There's the slightly frightened looks, and even the outright scent of fear coming off some of them. There's the tone of their voices when they say my name.
I know exactly what they're thinking, because I've thought it plenty myself.
Animal.
Even some of the older students still think it, even if they've come to know better.
I'm *not* an animal, at least not entirely. I have thoughts, emotions, regrets, and hopes the same as any other man. Animals don't want chances to prove themselves worthy, and animals sure as hell don't feel the way I do about Storm.
This is nothing like my feelings for Jean. There will always be something between us, and she still makes me want to be a better man. But she's married to Cyclops now, and she really loves the guy. I've accepted it.
Jean may have stolen my heart, but Ororo gave it back.
I'll never forget the moment when I truly *saw* her for the first time. It was six weeks ago, and she had been sitting by the fire, smiling at something Nightcrawler had said. The light was glinting off her hair, and I realized just how beautiful and powerful she was. It sounds like a stupid cliche, but it took my breath away. In that instant, I wanted her and I was completely jealous of Kurt.
We'd never paid each other much mind before, but after that I couldn't seem to get her out of my thoughts for too long. It started to hurt when she would push me aside and go about her business like nothing was happening.
She keeps her distance around me after all this time, only making polite, friendly conversation. Always to do with the school, never anything too personal. I get the feeling that beneath that famous control, I make her uneasy. I think maybe she still sees me as an animal, too. Somehow, that idea hurts even more than the subtle rejections. I could be more than that if she'd just let me. I'm not perfect by any means, but...I care.
I can only hope that one day there will be that moment when she sees me, too.
Even animals dream.
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