I'm going to have to go to fanfiction.net to see how the edited version compares. To me the sex in your stories are never gratuitious even if it is graphic. Why? Because for some reason your brain doesn't work like the average 20-something sex obsessed (oh yes, you're obsessed) female. I mean you talk like a perv but you don't write like a perv. Which leads me to believe that you're on a perv in faking. LOL J/K Yes this is a little more than what you write. But it works for the story. It follows the tone and theme very well. This is the climax. No pun intended. It's definitely more erotica than smut in my book, but still a sexy story either way.