They’d been walking around a park a few miles from home. She needed to get away and he liked the sunshine so that’s where they ended up. They hadn’t been there all day, in fact they’d only just arrived fifteen minutes ago. They’d spent the day eating breakfast-- because they didn’t have the chance earlier-- wandering around New York, watching a mime, shopping for miscellaneous items, eating a light lunch, downing cheap cookies the size of a toddler’s head, and watching a free show at the park. When they decided they weren’t interested in what the kid was playing, they decided to walk around.

It had been a better day than Ororo had expected.

Some kids ran past Ororo, startling her from her reverie. She was in the sort of blissful state where there wasn’t any thinking, just a sense of calm. She welcomed it while it lasted. “Careful!” Logan shouted, grabbing her waist and jerking her back. “You’ll get run over.”

“They’re just kids.”

“Kids? Doesn’t matter. Saying ‘they’re kids’ gives ‘em a pass. If you’re doing something shitty, you gotta know. Else they’ll never know and they’ll grow up doing the same stupid shit.” Logan grunted. “They’ll be monsters when they’re teenagers.”

“I guess,” she murmured. They continued walking for a moment, quiet. Ororo got the feeling Logan was the type of guy to do morning dates; this was probably out of his depth. Taking a girl on a walk after breakfast... This must be foreign. “Er... Thank you--”

“Don’t mention it.” They fell silent for another moment. “You know we gotta go back eventually, right?” Ororo nodded. “What do you think is gonna happen?”

“Scott probably told Jean. Jean will ask her questions. I’ll answer them,” Ororo said succinctly. They were silent again, but not because Logan wanted them to be. She could tell. He kept glancing at her from the corner of his eyes.

“You ready?”

“To head back?” Logan nodded. “No... For a little while longer? I’m enjoying your company, this day, the distraction.” She waved her hand out. “I’ll pay you back later,” she winked.

Logan grinned. “Why don’t you pay me back in the car?”

“Logan!” she gasped.

“What? You still owe me from the pool.”

“That was literally yesterday.” She paused. Had it really only been one day? “Crazy,” she mumbled. Not to be dramatic-- though Scott would beg to differ-- but her life was really falling apart. And what was she doing? She was walking around a park with a guy she liked having sex with. How queer.

“I’m still up for it.”

Her phone buzzed and Ororo checked who was calling. A text... from Jean. “Something tells me you’re serious.” Ororo sighed. “Let’s go back, Logan.”

“You’re not going to--”

“They’re ready to talk.”



Jean tapped her foot, waiting in the hallway. This was what she wanted. She gnawed at her thumbnail, checked the door again, checked her phone for messages, then refolded her arms. She was getting impatient. Hadn’t Ororo read her message? It said she did.

“I hear his Jeep,” Scott said. He’d been standing by Jean, waiting just as patiently. He wasn’t sure why, though. The entire time he’d been standing there, he had no idea about how to start this conversation. He hated it, not knowing what to do. It was just about the worst thing in Scott’s opinion. He wasn’t used to being so lost. But he knew no matter how they started this conversation, it would be messy and it wouldn’t end well. “Yeah, I hear it.”

Jean nodded and stood straight. She tucked her phone away in her pocket and cleared her throat. Now that she thought about it, her throat was a little dry. Or maybe it was just her nerves. It didn’t matter. In a few moments, trivial things like dry throats and bad nerves wouldn’t matter. And she was glad.

“--You sure you don’t want me to... Oh, hey, Scott. Jeanie.”

“Logan,” Scott and Jean said.

“Hello, Jean. Scott,” Ororo said, her voice flat. “How are you?”

“Fine, considering,” Jean answered, her voice just as flat.

“Logan, could you give us a moment in private. The three of us need to talk,” Ororo said.

Logan looked back at Ororo and felt protective. Something bad was about to happen and he didn’t want her to be alone. That being said, this was her battle to fight, if one could call “coming clean” a battle. He wanted to take her hand and let her know it was going to be alright, he wanted to say something that would help her situation out. And of the plethora of things he could’ve said to make things better, he instead nodded once and turned. “You know where to find me if you need me.”

Scott stepped forward as soon as Logan shouldered past him. If it was Logan’s way of telling Scott to take it easy on Ororo, it was going to be ignored. Logan couldn’t control Scott and he certainly couldn’t control Jean. When he was certain Logan wasn’t standing around the corner, Scott raised his voice. “Let’s go into the--”

“Charles’ study.” Ororo looked at Jean then Scott. “It’s appropriate.”

“Fine.” Jean started up the stairs. “Doesn’t matter in the end.” They marched upstairs, quiet. When they reached the doors, Ororo reached into her pocket for her keys, then opened the doors up. “They were locked?”

“Does it matter? You obviously didn’t make any attempts to come up here,” Ororo snipped. They stepped inside. Ororo had been trying to get everything organized, but it was a little more difficult than she’d expected. “Excuse the mess.”

“Hm,” said Jean. Scott remained quiet. Ororo moved to Charles’ seat and folded her hands atop his desk. “We all know why we’re here. Talk.”

Ororo cocked her head. “Where I do I start? With why I left? Why I didn’t come back? Why I have so much animosity towards Charles?”

“You have no right--” Scott faltered, trying to keep his voice down. Logan would no doubt come barreling through the doors if he felt his precious Ororo was hurt. It was disgusting. “That man treated you better than anyone I’ve ever met.”

“He gave me trinkets, adopted me, called me his daughter. He treated me well, I won’t deny that, but I won’t say he treated me better than anyone else.” Ororo swallowed and waited. Jean was itching to say something.

“Why did you leave, Ororo? I’m sick of you trying to dance around it. So just... tell us why. I’m sick of this already,” Jean said.

Ororo closed her eyes and exhaled slowly. “I felt like I was drowning here.”

“Drowning,” Jean repeated sarcastically.

“Yes, Jean.” Ororo wet her lip and stared Jean in the eye. “No matter what you think, you have to admit I was treated more strictly than you. Or Scott. I was... I was like a project.”

Scott thinned his lips. “Explain.”

“I was always hovered over, always watched. I was expected to be prim and proper. If I did something wrong, it was never just a mistake. It was like... I’d ruined his idea of how I should be. He-- Charles had me in an iron fist. It was like he controlled my every move.”

“You’re wrong!” Jean spouted. “Control you? He let you do whatever you wanted!”

“Whatever I wanted? Really, Jean?” Ororo cocked her head. “Dance classes, speech lessons, etiquette courses, gymnastics, gardening clubs. You really think an eight year old is interested in all those things? I wanted to play in dirt, not learn how to manage it!”

“You liked dance class,” argued Jean. “And you always went on about gardening.”

“I won’t deny that I liked it.” Ororo put a hand to her forehead, feeling a headache. “I was great, in fact; even I can admit that. Competitions... I’d come in first and sometimes second--”

“Mostly first,” Jean added.

“--And I never gave a fuck about any of it.” Ororo huffed a breath. “But I knew it was important. My whole worth became how well I could perform, how my name could be used in conversation. I wasn’t important if I couldn’t be bragged about and I wasn’t grateful if I wasn’t great.” Ororo slid her hands into her lap. “And one day, I snapped.”

“The night you cut your hair,” Jean said. Ororo nodded, blinking hard. She wanted to cry; she’d never voiced any of this to anyone. Charles had only ever gotten the gist of it. “What happened that night?”

Ororo smiled, but there wasn’t any happiness to it. “I’m not even sure. But I was sitting out on my terrace, thinking about the future, and what I wanted, and who I was, and I looked down and realized that... either my shoes would fall or I would fall.” Ororo blinked, feeling a tear fall down her cheek. “And that would have been okay.” Ororo sniffed and quickly wiped away her tear. “And I knew then that I needed to get away.And if I didn't, I would die.”


AUTHOR'S NOTE: TADA! The big reveal! I hope you're satisfied. And don't worry: I'll put an explanation up in the next chapter.





You must login () to review.