[Reviews - 20]
-
Table of Contents [Report This]
Microsoft Word Chapter or Story |
Printer Chapter or Story |
ePub eBook Chapter or Story |

Has been viewed 764 times

- Text Size +




Author's Chapter Notes:
Logan leaves after Ororo announces her engagement to Forge. Ororo contemplates missing him.
Chapter 19 “ Missing You

Relationship Status “ pre


She had to get away from the threat of gloom that threatened to consume her, if she stayed another minute in the mansion. She had her choice of tending to her babies in the greenhouse or taking flight and solace in the freedom the winds offered her. She ruled out the greenhouse because she was not in the right frame of mind that was required to render tender loving care to her plants. So, she took to the skies, welcoming the cool air onto her face and the reassurance offered to her by being in her natural element.

Ororo was attempting to forget the scene that occurred a few days ago in her History classroom. Try as she might, the scene was stuck on repetition in her mind. Logan had abandoned her, no denying it. She heaved a tired sigh. She felt drained crying over and thinking about Logan. His unexpected departure dealt a devastating blow to her psyche and soul. Why would he hurt her this way? Didn’t he know that she needed him? Obviously not, else he would have been there with her, supporting her. She knew that he didn’t care and would never care for her fiancé Forge. His distaste for the mutant maker was not a secret, but she had hoped that their friendship would countermand his revulsion of Forge. She had hoped that he would accept the fact that she was getting the opportunity to have her dreams realized. At least he could have been happy for her in that aspect. Couldn’t he?

Throughout the years, she and Logan’s relationship had developed into something that was unique and complete. She treasured it and she knew that he did too. So why would he abandon her? Especially during this time of transition in her life. During their last conversation, she had been dejected and spoken as such to him, once he made his plans to leave known. But in the end, she had refused to allow him the satisfaction of knowing he was hurting her and she’d dismissed him quite impersonally.

His words to her still stung and she knew that she will continue to feel the sting for a long time to come. “I’m headin’ up north fer a while”. He was quick with his announcement, as if he didn’t want her to see the embarrassment that her intuition told her he felt at that moment. But the words that hurt her the most, that cut through her very soul were when he uttered, “No, darlin’. This is my congratulations and goodbye.” Those were the words that solidified his abandonment. He then hammered the final nail in when he told her that he didn’t know if he’ll be back. For some inexplicable reason, she believed that he would never return and that she would never see Logan again. There were no doubts in her mind that his goodbye to her was final. She didn’t know how to or if she could ever deal with the colossal loss his absence left. She felt as if a part of her went missing when he left and just knowing that she would never see him again broke her heart every time thought about it.

Logan was her definitive source of comfort and encouragement. But he was more than that for her and to her. Over the years, Ororo had come to terms with her feelings for the feral mutant. From the very beginning, it was love. Unadulterated love. But that was a secret she would take to her grave. What she felt for the Wolverine was beyond belief. She couldn’t fathom the fierceness of her feelings and desires for the surly feral. What she felt for the gruff Canadian, she had never felt before and she didn’t know how to deal with the feelings, the needs and the desires. So to maintain her sanity, she had allowed her fears and insecurities to take hold and fill her with an overwhelming compulsion to run and hide. Sadly and most regrettably, she permitted those fears and insecurities to govern her rationale and rob her of what more than likely would have been an exceptional relationship with the Wolverine. Those fears and insecurities had led her to accept the marriage proposal of the urbane, sophisticated, intelligent Forge, knowing that she didn’t feel for him the stirring, overpowering love she felt for the mountain man.

Her relationship with the mutant inventor came at a time when had she doubted herself, believing that she would be the proverbial spinster. Forge, in his pursuit of her, gave her hope and demonstrated to her that she was capable of attracting a lifelong mate. He offered her all the things she had desired throughout her life. In him, she saw a stable home, a family and security. When he had proposed to her, she was over the moon, disbelieving that her dreams were going to come through after all. Her relationship with the maker was safe, more like a fairy tale. She had convinced herself that safe was what she desired, but in the deepest parts of her being, she knew she was condemning herself to a life of unhappiness. If she was honest with herself, she would admit that her relationship with Forge was lackluster and didn’t fill her with that excitement she craved. It didn’t make her feel the completion she yearned for in a lifetime partner. But it was too late for her to do anything about it now, because she had already committed herself to becoming his wife and making a life with him. Besides, she was positive that Logan didn’t feel the same way about her as she did about him.

As she soared through the sky, Ororo couldn’t shake the distinct feeling then that she was the one driving Logan away. Maybe she asked too much of him knowing that he practically hated Forge. Goddess! She didn’t know. Marrying one man while being in love with another was finally taking its toll. Without thinking, she had flown directly to hover over that secret spot where they had shared so many things. She sighed as she did a somersault in the air and slowly descend to sit under the willow tree, where he will frequently perch. She closed her eyes, attempting to envision him sitting there with her enjoying the companionable silence that came naturally to them, but his final words kept replaying in her head. Frustrated, she stood up in one fluid motion and screamed. Hoping that the winds that bend to her will carry her torment to him, wherever he may be, she bellowed, “Logan! I miss you!”

As the tears fell, she stood rooted there, drawing whatever comfort she could from being their place. She cried for him, their friendship, her unrequited love and for what could have been if she was brave enough to tell him how she felt about him. For how long she cried, she didn’t know, but she did know that it wouldn’t do for her to continuously shed tears over a man who obviously didn’t return her feelings. So, with a hardened resolve to dedicate herself to Forge and building a wonderful life with him, she plunged head first into planning the wedding of her dreams.





You must login () to review.