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Author's Chapter Notes:
Ororo and Logan mourn together
Chapter 25 “ Heartache

Relationship Status “ established

It was the third time for the night that the scent of saline had overpowered his sensitive nose and awaken him. Her crying, as it had since they had suffered their devastating blow, required him to roll over and gather her securely in his arms. He pressed a light kiss to her temple and just held her tightly to his chest, attempting to absorb the unimaginable pain and great sense of loss she was feeling. His actions seemed to only exacerbate the heart wrenching sobs that hammered her body and pierced at his heart.

Logan sighed, hating seeing his mate in this state. Hank, Chuck and the magazines had said that this was natural and to be expected. As natural as can be, especially when one was mourning the loss of a child. Life sure played funny tricks. And this was one of the biggest tricks it had played on him in a very long time. It seemed to him as if all his past sins were finally catching up to him. Just when he thought that he was finally on the path to happiness, here comes life tossing him and Ororo a devastating curve ball.

They had discovered that she was pregnant approximately six weeks after their return from Canada. They had returned with a new lease on life, having professed their love for each other and finally clearing all the hurdles in their way of getting together. They were content and were looking forward to building a successful relationship with each other. Finding out they were expecting was the icing on the cake. They were both over the moon, believing that the joy and stability they had both craved for what seemed like an eternity were finally coming to fruition. He, at last, was going to get the pack he had always desired and Ororo was finally going to become a mother, a role that she had always desired and quite frankly, was born for. The panic he had thought that he would feel at the reality of becoming a father didn’t come and he was only left with a feeling of heightened anticipation. And seeing ‘Ro blissful about having his child only fueled his happiness and hopefulness.

Then reality had come crashing down, effectively bursting their bubble. He had thought that he was prepared to face anything in life, but this, the loss of their baby, he discovered he wasn’t. Nothing could have prepared him to hear Hank’s words telling him and Ororo that she had suffered a miscarriage. The sense of loss was incredible and indescribable. He felt as though he had been shot in the gut by one of Cyclops’ optic blast and when it was over, his healing factor didn’t even bother to close the hole created, but left it gaping and empty.

He knew that he couldn’t even begin to imagine how Ororo was feeling. She had only given him a glimpse of her own personal hell and how much she was dying inside. From the very moment that Hank had delivered the devastating blow, Logan literally saw the life drained out of her body. It was like she had transformed into a vacant shell right before his eyes. He didn’t even know how to being rendering onto her the comfort and support he knew she was going to need to get through this. He readily admitted to himself that he was fearful for his mate and fearful that he was completely inept to help her. So he sucked up his fears and insecurities and did one of many things he did best, he neglected himself and his feelings and focused all his attentions on Ororo. He knew he would heal, for he always did, but for his mate, her health, both mental and physical and her emotional state came first.

Logan knew that a lot of responsibility for her emotional stability during this ordeal fell on his shoulders because her emotional wound would take longer to heal than her body. He sighed mentally, knowing that this was going to be a huge test and he had no other choice but to rise to the occasion. Come hell or high water, he had to alleviate her pain and help guide her out of this pain that threatened to take her away from him.

After a while, her weeping subsided and he felt Ororo grabbed one of his hands and pressed it against her tear-damped cheek. “I love you, Logan,” she whispered.

“I love ya too, babe. Don’t ya ferget it,” he replied in kind. “Ya’re not in pain, are ya?” He asked as an afterthought.

“No,” she gulped. She turned in his arms, so that they were facing each other. He refused to relinquish his hold on her throughout her movements. The light from the moon shining through her skylight provided them enough light to gaze into each other’s eyes. Ororo moved her head to rest it next to his, so they were sharing his pillow. She leaned in closer to nuzzle her face in his furry naked chest. She luxuriated in the closeness to him and wanted to prolong in it for as long as possible.

Logan didn’t move an inch, allowing her to perform her ministrations. “I am sorry that I have been crying too much lately,” she said with a measure of self-disgust.

Logan’s growl was soft. “Darlin’, don’t ya go apologizin’ fer havin’ feelings. Ya had every right ta cry and be upset. Hell, ya ain’t a machine.”

She lifted her head and looked at him, offering him a shy, sad smile. “Thank you.” Absently, she raked her thumbnail over his lips.

“Don’t thank me either, ‘Ro. It’s my job ta make sure ya’re alright.”

When she realized that her thumb was still caressing his lips, she removed it. He looked down at her mouth and Ororo felt a familiar and welcomed heat spreading through her. She wasn’t ashamed of her reaction. It proved that she had survived and was still functioning. It was the first time that she had felt alive and warm in days.

Apparently, Logan wasn’t immune to it either and he coughed to clear his throat before looking away from her.

After a long stretch of comfortable silence, an intense need to hold her closer came over him. So, he maneuvered their bodies until she was lying across his torso with her cheek resting on his breastbone. He wrapped his arms around her protectively and propped his chin on the crown of her head. “’Ro?”

“Yes, my love?” She replied sleepily.

“I’m so damn proud of ya.”

He felt the breath she released on his skin. “I am happy that we are going through this together. I do not think that I would have been able to get to this point without you.”

“Ya’re my mate, ‘Ro. Ain’t no place else I needed ta be than with ya.” He lifted her hand to his mouth and kissed the palm.

Her other hand covered his heart and her thumbnail mindless raked his nipple. “Do you think that I am being too selfish, Logan? Many women throughout the world, suffer miscarriages every day.”

“Ya’re not bein’ selfish. Ya’re feelin’ exactly what any of those women would feel if they cared anythin’ ‘bout the child they carried.”

Tears welled up in her eyes again at his words. At that moment she realized that he was mourning the loss of their child as keenly as she was. “I am sorry that you are suffering from this too, Logan.”

“Ya don’t owe me any apology, baby.”

“I wonder if it was a boy or a girl.”

“Don’t, ‘Ro.” He rolled her to her back and levered himself above her. “Please, don’t. We’ll go crazy if we think ‘bout it.” He sipped the tears off of her cheeks and lips. Then his lips touched hers in a tender kiss, merely settling against hers. They breathed each other’s breath, before his lips parted and took hers in a possessive, wanting kiss. His tongue was bold, making greedy love to her mouth.

She threaded her fingers up through his hair. “Oh Logan,” she groaned. “Kiss me until it does not hurt anymore.”

“Where do ya hurt, baby?”

“Everywhere.”

He proceeded to cover her tear-stained cheeks with random kisses, returning again and again to her mouth. He then moved to kiss every inch of her, reviving her, healing her broken spirit and filling her anew with the love he felt for her. She cried out softly when he kissed the spot where their child rested up until a week ago. He lifted his head to look at her and his eyes asked her silently if he was hurting her. Her own eyes replied in the negative, before closing involuntarily as he did her bidding, kissing each and every curve of her body.

Minutes later, her body aglow and tingling, she opened her eyes and spoke his name lovingly.

Logan brushed a few wayward strands of her hair off her shoulders and chest. “Better?”

Her great bright smile was his answer. She reached up to trace his shaggy eyebrows with delicate fingers. “Logan? We are going to be fine, right?”

He closed his eyes, savoring her gentle caress. “Better than fine, darlin’. I think this test has brought us closer tagether. Besides, we got time ta try and try again.” He finished, giving her his patented crooked smile telling her that trying was the best part for him.

“Thank you.”

“What fer?”

“For loving and taking care of me and for making sure that I am not alone in this.”

“I’m exactly where I need ta be, darlin’. Yer mines ta take care of and cherish,” he murmured before leaning down to bury his face in the fragrant softness and plumpness of her cleavage.

Wrapping her arms around his head, she held it still against her breasts, absorbing all the love he was channeling to her at that very moment and grateful beyond anything that she had this man to call hers.





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