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We arrived to a darkened Tokyo, yet although it was 3 in the morning the city was still very active with hordes of people bustling through the streets, and everywhere I looked buildings were lit up with flashing lights. It was literally breathtaking. We got to our hotel without any issues due to Logan’s fluent Japanese which I found so beautiful when spoken in his gruff tone. Some words I can understand but for the most part I am a fish out of water. Luckily most of the people we have encountered thus far; the people at the airport, our cab driver, and the hotel attendants, all seemed to speak relatively good English.

“Logan-san, welcome back,” One of the female clerks behind the desk of the hotel greeted with a bow. “Would you like your usual room?” She asked as I stared curiously at the exchanged.

“Yeah, thanks.” Logan replied as he pulled out his wallet to pay.

“Will you also need a room, Megami (女神)?” The woman who appeared to be a bit younger than myself asked me. She used the same term that I had heard one of the flight attendance your as well as our cab driver. But before I could question her about its meaning Logan spoke out.

“No, she’s with me.” He stated and again the lady bowed and then waved one of the bellhops over to take our bags to our room. Before I was pulled off by Logan I gave a curt bow and said.

“Arigatō (ありがとう).”

“Dōitashimashite (どういたしまして), Megami (女神),” The young lady replied with a bow. Once we were inside the elevator I began to question Logan once again about that term ‘Megami’. I had asked him before but he just smiled and chuckled at me.

“Logan, what does ‘meg-a-mi’ mean and why am I referenced as such?” I asked and again he just chuckled in reply. It was the short, gentle looking bellhop who answered my query.

“It is a great sign of respect, Megami,” He stated. “It is a reference to the Mahikari religion founded by Yoshikazu Okada. Okada speaks of being transported to the world of divine spirits and there he saw a god with white hair standing on a beautiful white cloud. You are a beautiful woman with striking white hair so, you are ‘Megami’.”

“So ‘Megami’ means…”

“That’s right, ‘Goddess’,” Logan answered around another chuckle as he was the first to exit the elevator on our floor. I am sure it amused him to no end that others would refer to me by the term he often used and I would chastise him about.

“No, I am not a Goddess,” I tried to assure the bellhop as he pushed our luggage out after us. “I am just a woman, same as any other woman.”

“Hardly,” Logan mumbled out, just loud enough that I caught it. The word I knew was a compliment and it brought a smile to my face.

“Hai (はい) Megami.” The Bellhop said with a smile and a quick bow of his head as he ushered us and our bags into our suite. He then handed Logan our key card, Logan handed him a tip, and then he was gone.

“Logan, did you tell them to call me that?” I asked curiously though Logan had not spoken much to anyone except me to tell me of all the places he would take me during our stay in Japan.

“Don’t look at me darlin,” He said as he tossed the keycard on a nearby table and then grabbed up his only bag, his trademark duffel and moved to the only adjoining bedroom. “And if ‘everyone’ besides me is saying don’cha think it’s time to face the facts, yer not just some mere woman ‘Ro. Yer something pretty amazing.” He spoke that last sentence mostly under his breath and I knew he had not intended for me to hear it, but since I was now leaning in the open doorway of the bedroom watching him, I had heard him.

“Thank you for thinking so,” I replied and I could tell I had startled him just a bit though he had covered it well enough. He regarded me with a glance over his shoulder; letting his eyes do their usual sweep over me from head to toe before turning back to his task.

“I know so,” He said as he began to pull his things from the bag and store them in a couple of the drawers of the dresser. “You can have tha bed and I’ll just sleep on the floor in here or out there if you’d prefer.” His statement startled me and relieved me all at the same time. I had been wondering about our sleeping arrangements and somewhat dreading the thought of sharing a bed with him again. Although, we have reconciled many things in our tattered relationship since our son’s death, our ‘sexual’ relationship had not been one. It had been merely 2 months since we had declared our forgiveness of each other and made a vow to work on our relationship, but in that time we had not slept together. We had fallen back into a very amicable relationship as Logan patiently waited for me to finish out the school year before we headed off to Japan. Logan had not bedded me and I have been happy about that. I had experience near insurmountable sexual pleasure with Logan but also incomparable sexual pain as well. I found that I only seemed to awaken sweat drenched and crying over the latter. The brutality of it, his treatment of me, his touch, the way he would glare at me when he was above me, in me it was all still too raw. At times I would sit and wonder if I would ever be able to get over it all. “So I’ll just sleep out there then,” Logan’s voice pulled be from my musing.

“No,” I spoke out hastily though I don’t know what in me had possessed me to protest his idea. “You do not have to sleep on the floor Logan. The bed is large enough for both of us to share.”

“No,” He said point blank. “I can’t share a bed witcha ‘Ro.” His words angered and offended me slightly, if anyone were to protest our bed sharing it most definitely should be me not him.

“And why not?” I asked in a slightly snappy tone.

“Ya know why not, I’ve been a monster to ya,” He spoke as he bowed his head and I do not think I have ever recalled him ever appearing so submissive and defeated and it broke my heart. Even more so because I knew it was over me, even though I know I was not at fault. “I have no honor and I don’t deserve ta even be here witcha right now.”

“Logan I…”

“I know ya said j’ya forgave me for all the shit I put’cha through but I know it still fucks witcha ‘Ro.” He said this as he lifted his head and gazed directly at me. “I hear yer nightmares at night, hear ya cry out, beggin me ta stop hurt’n ya. It tears me up inside, and what really guts me is that I hadn’t given a shit about yer tears or begging when I was hold’n ya down and plow’n into ya. I wanted to hurt ya…Yer the mother of my child,” Those words instantly brought tears to my eyes and I had to close my eyes and bow my head, because it still filled me with such guilt and shame that I suffered a miscarriage. “Yer tha woman that I love like no other…ever,” He continued and that declaration made me gasp and stare at him once again. “And I done ya wrong, hurt’cha in the most despicable ways. I don’t deserve yer forgiveness.”

“But you have it and I love you too Logan, like no other…ever,” I stated with tears streaming down my face and a smile on my lips. “That…our love for each other, that will get us through this, it will prevail. I know that it will be difficult for both of us to resume nay kind of sexual relations but I am willing to try, and you have to be too.” He closed his eyes, clenched his jaws, and took a deep breath. “So we shall share a bed together and see where that takes us. Ok?” He nodded his head a few seconds before he spoke out again.

“Yeah, whatever you say darlin.”

That night found us on opposite edges of the bed and me personally with a bout of insomnia. I was too afraid to ask Logan if he were asleep but suspected that he was having as much difficulty sleeping as I. When morning arrived I awoke contently in Logan’s secure embrace, with my head nestled against his hairy chest, and my limbs thrown lovingly across his prone body.

“Morning Darlin, how’d ya sleep?” He asked never removing his arms from around me. I lifted my head slight and removed my hand from his body long enough to brush my wild bed hair from my face as I peered at the bedside clock.

“Mmm what time is it?” I asked as I gently placed my hand back across Logan’s chest and silently let my mind reel over our closeness, thinking that any moment I would recoil from Logan. But I found I was enjoying our closeness, it had been so long since we had simply cuddled and it seemed that my body craved it, craved Logan, and welcomed his ‘gentle’ touch.

“Nearly 6am,” Logan replied and I could tell by his stiffened shoulders that he was also unsure of how I might react waking up in his arms and strewn across his body.

“Uggh, too early,” I declared as I let my head once again fall to his chest. It was true that I was still tired from a night lacking much sleep, but also I wanted to relay to Logan, with my actions, that I was ok with this, just lying in bed with him, and in his arms. “We’re on holiday so let’s get up at noon, ok?” I tossed out as I closed my eyes once more and snuggled closer to him. I could feel the rumble in his chest and a slight shake of his body as he chuckled a bit and then hugged me more tightly.

“Yeah, I hadn’t planned for us to head to Jasmine Falls until tomorrow anyway. We’ll sleep ‘til noon then I’ll show ya around the city.” I had vaguely understood what he had said as sleep crept back upon me. I burrowed my nose into Logan’s abnormally bushy chest and gave a mumbled reply, and again I felt him chuckle, and this time place a kiss atop my head.





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