Xavier knew that he should make an announcement about Jennifer as soon as possible; he knew that by delaying he would appear to be avoiding the issue. But he could not seem to help himself.
He knew that most of the students had an idea that something terrible had happened. After all there had been a rather large crowd to greet them all when they returned from the hospital; and no one could fail to notice Logan carrying Ororo upstairs, the bandage on her head providing a stark contrast with her skin.
Despite the terrible loss that just occurred, Charles found his mind fixating on the memory of Logan carrying Ororo into the mansion and up to her room. A gentle smile flashed across his face as he recalled several school rumors he had heard about the two of them recently. In fact, he could remember feeling some rather intense emotions of relief and concern being projected from both of them; vague but still there and not directed towards Rogue’s well being either. In the next instant, the smile faded as harsh reality intruded once more.
He knew why he was hesitating; his reasons were just as selfish as they were altruistic. Above all, he wanted so badly to spare the students the pain that would come in the wake of the accident. These children were faced with so many difficulties and obstacles simply for what they were. How could he call them into the room and add to the burden that so many of them already carried? Worse, how could he answer the questions they were sure to have about what had happened without increasing the guilt Rogue felt in her role in all of it?
Then of course there was the ridiculous desire to keep this pain from the children to prevent them from being faced with a world view that was different than the sheltered and secure one that they were presented with at the school. He wanted to keep them innocent and carefree as long as possible; they ought to be children for awhile yet before they were forced to face the truth of life and the world around them.
He knew that his fears were foolish; nothing could stop what would happen once they knew the truth. All his delays wouldn’t change that; there would be grief, there would be pain and there would be tears. But somewhere along the way memories would be shared and tears would turn into laughter as they celebrated her life. There would still be tears but they would not hurt as much as before; and that would be the first step in healing, for all of them.
But the first step in healing could not begin until he had taken the first step by announcing what had happened. He sighed loudly feeling the weight of his own grief settle on him once more. It was time to begin; he closed his eyes and sent out a gentle mental summons to every resident in the mansion, excluding Ororo, Hank and Rogue, to meet with him to discuss something important. Then he sat back to wait as the students began filing into the room.
Over an hour later, his sad duty done, Xavier sat in his office sharing a much needed cup of soothing tea with the members of his team. It was a tight fit in his office, fitting everyone; even the visiting members. But they managed; some were standing closely together, deriving a sense of comfort from close contact with other members of their surrogate family.
Everyone was silent for several moments, each lost in their own thoughts about what had happened and how the students had reacted to the news. There had been a profound and shocked silence after he had made the announcement and finished telling the students what had happened.
Then, the tears began to flow. Everyone was too shocked to really ask any intelligent questions and Charles simply excused everyone from classes for the next few days. He wanted to give the students time to come to grips with what had happened.
But the students weren’t the only ones who needed to come to grips with what had happened; a few of the adults, himself included needed some time too. Hence the reason he’d felt the need to call them into his office; he wanted to discuss what had happened and what the next step should be.
But he found himself just as unwilling to begin this particular conversation as he had been to tell the students about the accident. Somehow, so long as he kept silent, the problem lacked substance and remained simply an unvoiced concern.
But he knew that it couldn’t remain that way; there was only so long that the silence would continue. Sooner or later, someone was going to speak up asking for a reason for their presence, as if any of them really needed to ask why they were there. Still, there was a good chance that someone else would break the silence.
Jean reached out even as he was still arguing with himself, touching his hand gently.
He looked at her and smiled fondly at the gesture.
She had known what he’d been doing; even if she hadn’t tried reading his mind. This was her gentle way of telling him to get on with it.
“I made a choice, a long time ago, when it became apparent that mutants were not simply a blip on the evolutionary radar, to help as many children as I could, learn to accept and control their powers; to not be ashamed of their genetic heritage and to learn to live in a society that feared and hated them.
“In many respects, I have succeeded. But then there are days like today that make one feel as if all the success in the world has simply been a prelude to failure.” He sighed loudly, gazing into the dark depths of his as of yet, untouched tea.
There was sympathy reflected in nearly every face around him.
Jean reached out and squeezed the Professor’s hand again conveying silent emotional support; even as his own grief was reflected in her eyes.
Next to her, Scott spoke up. “You couldn’t have prevented this Professor; I’m not even sure you could have predicted it.”
Charles nodded as he set his cup aside, the cooling tea no longer enticing. “I know that Scott; but that does not change the fact that I vehemently wish it had not happened. Having said that, I would like to discuss the next step in dealing with this crisis.”
Jean spoke up first. “I think the first step might be to schedule a memorial service; the students might get some closure out of saying goodbye. This way, if Jennifer’s parents decide to take her back for a funeral, they’ll still get that chance.”
Scott nodded at her suggestion even as someone else spoke up.
“And I think it would be best if we made ourselves, all of us, even visiting team members, available any time, day or night for a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen. We need to make sure that the students realize that we’re here for them if they need us.”
Another voice spoke up quietly. “And talk about Jennifer; share whatever memories you may have of her; sharing memories of her will bring about a sense of closure as well.”
Charles nodded at each suggestion pleased that what they were saying was similar to many of the things that he had thought to do himself.
Scott spoke up once more. “That only leaves one question: what do we say about how it happened?”
The professor glanced over at Scott, but before he could address his question, Logan pushed away from the fireplace.
He was tense, his body set in angry lines.
It was obvious to Charles that he was still worried about Rogue and Ororo and probably wondering just how he was going to help them both recover from their roles in the accident.
“We can’t tell them the truth; the students can’t handle it and someone might decide to try and hurt Rogue as payback.”
The professor shook his head, understanding very well just why Logan had spoken as he had.
Logan was a suspicious man by nature; it was something that had saved him countless times in the past. If someone, even someone he knew and loved, handed him a gift he would be compelled to look deeper; hunting for shadows and assassins at every turn.
He could no more help doing that than he could change the color of his eyes; it was a fundamental part of his make-up. But this situation was different; this was a time where deceit was not called for. Even in the name of saving someone from potential harm.
“Logan, we cannot lie to them; if they find out the truth later it could cause problems.”
Logan became even more agitated anger creeping into his voice. “So what do we do then? Do we hang Rogue out ta dry?”
Jean spoke up this time; her voice soft but carrying well in the crowded room. “No one’s suggesting any such thing Logan but we have to be honest with them; they trust us.”
Logan did not look convinced.
Xavier gently brushed the surface of Logan’s mind, trying to get a feel for his emotions. There was plenty of anger which Charles had expected. But there was something more, swirling just below the surface of the anger. Charles reached a bit deeper, trying to pin down exactly what he was feeling. A moment later it burst over him with all the power and intensity of a nuclear explosion. It was so powerful, Xavier could taste it.
Logan was afraid. He was afraid for Rogue and what this incident might do to her and her efforts to control her powers. There was also a sense of concern. Of all the people in the room, he would be the one most likely to understand what was going through the young girl’s mind at that moment.
Through him Xavier understood as well.
Logan wasn’t just concerned about her physically, he was worried about her mentally as well. Guilt and grief both were warring within her over her role and he knew that if anyone was allowed to make that guilt worse, it could damage her even further.
“Well, I ain’t gonna stand by while you guys decide that the guilt she feels isn’t enough. I ain’t gonna let anyone make her feel worse about what happened than I know she already does.”
Xavier held up his hand even as he urged Logan mentally to calm down. “Logan, I have no intention of allowing anything to happen to Marie either physically or mentally. Anyone who even hints at taking matters into their own hands will be dealt with. This is still a school and the students will conduct themselves as such. But on the same token I will not deny what has happened. In time the students will accept this for what it was: an accident.”
Logan still didn’t look convinced. “And if they don’t?”
Xavier sighed unsure of how to answer his question. He had no desire to commit them to a course of action before they even knew what the problem would end up being. “We will deal with whatever comes, when it comes. For now I must turn my attention to speaking with Jennifer’s parents tomorrow and the memorial service that will be held later this week. I strongly urge all of you to try and get some sleep; I know that this is a difficult time but we must be strong for the sake of the children.”
Everyone stood and began filing out of the room.
Logan stayed behind with Jean for a moment keeping silent until everyone had left. The minute the door had closed, he turned on Xavier and Jean both. “Dammit Chuck; this ain’t some kinda ethics lesson. These kids could actually end up hurtin’ each other.”
Charles held up his hand cutting him off. “Logan, your objections have been noted. But we still have some time before the students begin to ask questions. Let me talk to Rogue about this; she should have a say in this.”
This mollified him somewhat and he left the room, a barely suppressed wave of violence rolling off of him.
Given his state of mind at the moment, Xavier was very thankful that he didn’t slam the door behind him.
The mood around the mansion was very subdued for the rest of the day and well into the next as the students tried to come to grip with the loss of one of their own. They moved through the halls alone or in small groups; quiet and almost ghostlike, their grief and disbelief subduing them all.
Everywhere that Jean looked, she could see and hear the tears as the students mourned Jennifer’s death. The school was small; everyone knew everyone else. For the most part the students were a very tight knit group; not surprising given the common obstacles they were faced with.
And while it was impossible for all the students to get along or even like each other all the time, Jennifer was known by all and surprisingly well liked. Many students were taking her loss especially hard.
Jean made note of students suffering from extremely high levels of emotional stress to include them in any and all upcoming grief counseling sessions.
Jean had offered to sit with Ororo during the night and wake her hourly as the doctor had ordered. But Logan had surprised her, volunteering for that duty himself. She relented without too much of a fight; after all he had the healing factor and a night without sleep wouldn’t hinder him nearly as badly the next day as it would have her. Instead, Jean had gone to the room she shared with Scott and spent a restless night lying next to him. He too had been shaken by the loss of a student, but it was Jean who was unable to sleep.
Sheer exhaustion finally took its toll on Scott and he passed out. For her it was much more difficult; even with her own heavy mental shields and the sedative Hank had given her, she had been unable to completely block out every mind in the mansion. With so many grief stricken students projecting so wildly, some of them with the potential to become powerful telepaths in their own rights, well she might as well have stayed up all night for all the sleep she managed to get.
Needless to say she was up at dawn; long before Scott woke. She was surprised to find Logan down in the kitchen nursing a cup of coffee that he didn’t really seem to want to drink.
“Good morning Logan.”
He looked up at Jean in surprise; he’d been so caught up in his own thoughts that he hadn’t even sensed her until she spoke. He rubbed a hand over his eyes trying to shake the cobwebs from his mind. “Hey Red, how’d ya sleep?”
She shrugged. “I didn’t; too many minds and wild emotions last night. What about you?”
He’d have to have been blind to miss the dark circles under her eyes standing out strongly against her pale skin; she looked like she had been slugged a couple of times.
He took a deep slug of coffee, feeling the fatigue just at the fringes of his conscious sensations. His healing factor was keeping it at bay for the time being. “I slept some but Ororo is a bit of a bed hog.”
Jean chuckled. “I would’ve thought she’d start to grow out of that by now.”
Logan chuckled at the memory of Ororo trying desperately to find a comfortable position in which to sleep.
She had finally found it when she had rolled over sometime in the night and simply thrown herself over top of him. Then she had simply sighed and descended into a deep and restful sleep.
“She was kind of restless last night too; probably some flashbacks to the accident and the mood from the house. Didn’t help that I had ta keep wakin’ her.”
Jean looked at him with concern. “Did she manage to get any sleep?”
“Only after I climbed into bed with her; she said having someone else in the bed was soothing.”
Jean chuckled.
There was a time that Ororo had had a very difficult time sleeping alone; she was used to closer sleeping quarters. Probably something she had gotten used to in Africa. Remy had often commented on it.
“I’ll go up and check on her today.”
Logan reached out and squeezed her hand as he finished his coffee in one large gulp.
“Thanks Jean.” He stood placing his empty mug in the sink. It was time to face the fire and go see Rogue.
Logan stood outside the door to Rogue’s room working up the nerve to raise his hand and knock. He didn’t want to disturb her; at least that’s what he told himself. But the truth was, he wasn’t quite sure just how to approach the situation.
There was nothing in his experienced past that could help him with this one; despite his lack of memory, he somehow knew this. But he had to help her; somehow he had to help her come to terms with not only what had happened but her new powers as well.
Normally, he thrived on such obstacles; nothing gave him more satisfaction than overcoming a challenge. But this was not just a simple obstacle, so easily overcome. Calling it that would be like saying that the Great Wall of China was nothing more than a speed bump. It was completely unrealistic.
As much as he wanted to, he couldn’t protect her forever. He simply couldn’t be with her 24 hours a day, everyday. There were times when she would have no choice but to interact with her fellow students. And each interaction would increase the chance that one of them might hurt her.
That was where his greatest fear for her stemmed from; the barbs and emotional pain of the other students being unleashed against Rogue. In her already vulnerable and guilt ridden state, she would have little defense against them; and no way to justify what she had done however unintentional it had been.
His thoughts were broken and the decision to enter her room taken from his hands when the door suddenly opened.
Remy stood in the doorway, looking surprised at Logan’s appearance. “Logan, Remy was just coming to find you; Marie has been waiting for you.” He stepped aside and let Logan into the room.
Rogue was staring out the window, her back to the room. If she heard him come in, she didn’t react; she still sat at the window, her knees drawn up to her chest, her head resting on them.
Logan stared at her for several moments seeing the droop of her shoulders that told him of great sadness or even hopelessness. The tilt of her head that told him it was pointed more towards her knees hiding her face and her view of the outside.
He turned back to Remy who was still standing at the door. “Give us a minute would ya Cajun?”
Remy nodded and quietly left the room, shutting the door behind him.
Logan turned back to Rogue’s still form wondering just what he planned on saying to her. He walked up to her, grabbing another chair he dragged it with him and sat down in across from her. He leaned forward, reaching out to touch her knee gently.
She flinched visibly, trying to pull away from him; he simply followed her, maintaining the contact.
He wanted her to understand that he was unafraid; of either her or her powers. He wanted her to realize that nothing would change the way that he reacted towards her. “Hey kid.”
She looked up at his initial touch, blinking her eyes to focus on him.
He knew by the haunted look in them that she had been thinking deeply about the accident.
She let her legs drop from the chair, pulling away from him both physically and mentally. “Hey Logan.”
He reached up, nearly touching her face and she flinched again, only relaxing when he merely touched her head, safely covered by her thick hair. He touched the white stripe in her dark hair; the stripe that had been with her since she had managed to survive Magneto’s deadly machine. “Do you remember when ya got this?”
She frowned, a bit puzzled but simply nodded.
He continued to stroke the stripe in her hair as he continued speaking. “I remember that ya walked around for days afterwards, feelin’ guilty about leavin’ the mansion, about nearly getting’ us and yerself killed. But after a few days, ya realized that maybe what happened was a good thing; because ya left, we managed to stop Magneto and we saved a lot of people.”
Rogue nodded as he dropped his hand. “Ah remember.”
He knew that the events of that night still bothered her, but she had largely put them behind her; in great part due to the fact that she had let go of her misplaced guilt.
“I have ta be honest with ya Rogue, this isn’t gonna be like that. The guilt ya feel in yer heart, the guilt ya carry inside, its gonna stay with ya for a long, long time.”
Her lips thinned slightly and tears formed in her eyes. She swallowed loudly, fighting to contain the tears. She closed her eyes, fighting for control, sobbing softly.
Again Logan reached out to offer some comfort; he hated to see her in pain but he needed to shock her a bit; make her realize that he understood exactly why she was in such pain; remind her that he understood the guilt that sometimes came from causing death.
After a few minutes she began to calm down, the sobs lessening as she gained control of her tears. She reached up to brush them aside, taking the tissue Logan handed her with silent gratitude. “Logan, do you ever feel guilty about it?”
He sighed knowing that the question was coming; still unsure of just how to answer it. “There’s all kinds a guilt; ya can feel guilt if yer actually the one who does the killin’; ya can feel guilt cause they trusted ya, called ya friend and ya had no choice but ta betray them in the end; hell ya can even feel guilt cause someone ya cared about died simply cause of who ya were. Guilt don’t feel any different cause of circumstances.”
“Ya know what Ah mean.” Her voice was annoyed; much like it had been when they had been discussing his argument with Ororo a couple of weeks ago.
God he still found it so hard to believe that so much had changed so drastically in so short a time. He shrugged at her annoyance; he was determined to take this conversation where he wanted it to go, when he wanted it there. No amount of annoyance on her part was going to change that.
“Ya’ve seen my life; ya probably know more about me than I do.” He paused looking out the window. “Sometimes people need ta be killed; ta keep them from killin’ others.”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“I know. I’m tryin’ ta make a point. The short answer is yes, sometimes I feel guilty for some of the things I’ve done, but not for the reason ya think. A lot of the guilt I carry is for getting those around me hurt; because of who I am; because of what I used ta do. But in the end, I have ta respect that they were the ones ta make the choice on how they lived their lives.
“If I had tried to stop ‘em from carin’ ‘bout me, it would’ve taken away that choice; worse it would’ve shown dishonor and disrespect ta the people they were. It might’ve saved their lives but in the end, well I don’t think I’d like to know what my life woulda been like if I hadn’t known some of ‘em.”
Rogue turned her gaze out the window, watching some of the students walking around the grounds.
Logan could almost see the thoughts running through her head as she stared out the window.
She was probably wondering how long it would take for them to put it in perspective and move on; to continue living as if nothing had happened with only a dim memory to prove that anything really had. She was probably wondering if she would ever be able to do the same.
He reached out and grabbed her gloved hand.
She turned her eyes back to his.
“Don’t try to forget; it ain’t ever gonna happen. But you can learn to forgive yerself. Sometimes it’s the only thing ya can do.”
She turned back to the window, her eyes filling again with tears as he sat silently next to her.
Logan left Rogue’s room once Remy returned, thanking him for taking care of her. It was still early and he would’ve laid down money that Ororo hadn’t managed to make it down for breakfast yet.
So he stopped by the kitchen and found Jean making a tray to take up to her. He relieved her of the tray, promising to keep her in bed until she was cleared, and nearly ran up the stairs with it.
He opened the door without knocking, his nose and ears telling him that she was alone. He stood in the doorway and watched her for a moment as she settled on the bed, wincing and shifted again, trying to find a comfortable position.
She stiffened slightly as something told her that she was no longer in the room and she turned to see him holding a large tray of food. A wonderfully welcome sight to be sure; she couldn’t decide if she was more pleased by the sight of Logan, or the tray of food he carried. She smiled as he came towards the bed and kissed her good morning.
“Yer sore today aren’t ya?”
She smiled ruefully as he set down the tray. Every muscle in her body felt as if she had been through a rigorous workout in the danger room, then a sparring match with Logan followed by an all day endurance run. “Yes; I thought that only a workout with you would make me sore.”
He chuckled as he reached behind her to move her pillows, trying to help ease her pain.
“Of course, none of our workouts ever made me this sore.”
He turned back to her, seeing her wince again as she shifted trying to ease the bruises all over her body. He sat down next to her on the bed as gently as he could and touched her arm gently. “Have ya taken anythin’?”
She frowned slightly and he would have lain money down that she hadn’t even bothered to fill the prescription the doctor had given her. “I do not like drugs.”
He understood that.
To her a sense of control was everything; vital to the stability of herself and her powers. Drugs would not only cloud her mind, they could very easily take away a semblance of her control leaving others around her vulnerable. So she endured without and suffered in silence.
His heart ached for her as he realized how willingly she sacrificed of herself to protect others. “I think I might have an idea; do ya trust me?”
There was a puzzled look on her face as she responded without thought. “Of course Logan.”
“Good. I’ll be right back.”
He was gone for several minutes and she began to wonder just what he was up to. She had begun to doze off again when he came back into the room.
He went into her bathroom and she could hear the water running. When he came out, he had some towels in his hands and he was wearing a grin that she couldn’t quite place. “How do you feel about a massage?”
She nearly wept in relief at the question. “That would be heaven Logan.”
He stepped forward to help her get out of her clothes.
Logan spent the next two hours with Ororo, talking with her as he massaged away the muscle aches and stiffness caused by the accident.
She lay quietly on her bed, listening to him talk as he skillfully relieved the pain in her somewhat battered body. She sighed loudly, her pleasure obvious as she literally melted into his hands.
When he had finished, she was limp and relaxed on her bed just shy of dozing off. He leaned over and drew the blanket over her unmoving form. He leaned down further, kissing her face gently as she smiled slightly.
“Get some sleep ‘Ro; I’ll be back in a couple a hours.” He left the room quietly, hearing her breathing begin to deepen as she stopped fighting and began the descent into sleep.
He stood outside her room for several moments, his sensitive ears listening to her even breathing. He closed his eyes, leaning his head against the door as he listened to her breathing, letting it anchor him and calm him.
There was something pulsing within him; something flashing in his heart and blood that he couldn’t explain. He had never been an overly possessive man; which surprised him given how territorial the beast within him could be. But something in him had changed since the first time he and Ororo had made love.
It began subtle enough, the urge to touch her when she walked by; the urge to hold her hand or rest his arm around her waist whenever they were alone. He had thought it simply a need to maintain his physical contact with her; something the animal sometimes brought out in him.
But what he felt now, what he had been feeling since he’d walked into the hospital looking for her was not subtle; and it was nearly overpowering. He had nearly been unable to take his hands off of her the entire time since the accident. Every moment he was with her, he had been holding her, touching her, establishing something with her that he only vaguely understood.
Holding her during the night had helped; even the hours he had just spent massaging her had helped. But he knew that soon he would find his way up here again and the moment he caught her scent, he would be overcome with an urge to simply touch her.
Maybe it was a result of the accident; something his baser instincts urged him to do for someone he was being intimate with. He wasn’t completely sure; he vaguely remembered feeling as if the animal within had laid claim to Ororo their first night together in the woods outside the mansion.
He had brushed it off as delusion, refusing to believe anything he had experienced that night while the Wolverine had been in control. But now, now he wasn’t so sure. Now he found himself wondering if maybe he had bonded with Ororo in a way that he had never done before; with anyone.
He pushed away from the door; annoyed as the anger surged up inside of him. He had nearly lost her; nearly lost the one good thing that had come into his life in a long time. He knew that he should be upset about Rogue; they’d nearly lost her as well. But he couldn’t bring himself to feel the same emotional upheaval that nearly losing Ororo was causing. There was indeed something strange going on inside him.
He turned away from Ororo’s door quietly; resisting the urge to pound the nearest wall in frustration; he had no wish to wake her. And no desire to explain why he might have punched the wall in the first place. As he walked away a shiver of fear ran down his spine.
He wasn’t sure what scared him more at that moment: the thought of nearly losing her, or fear of how she had managed to become so very important to him so quickly. He promised himself to explore those thoughts more closely later. For the moment, he badly wanted to speak with the professor again; the air needed to be cleared between them.
He knocked loudly on Xavier’s door, knowing already that he was alone. He had seen Jean and Scott leave as he stood quietly in the hallway.
They had passed by him, not noticing him as they spoke quietly to each other. There was a slight mental chuckle and he was invited to enter.
Xavier didn’t look as if he had slept much himself but he smiled warmly as he waved Logan to a seat. “Logan, I am glad you decided to come see me. How is Ororo today?”
“Sore, very sore; and a bit annoyed that she has ta spend the rest of today in bed. Hank and Jean refused ta clear her.”
Xavier sighed, the noise turning into a chuckle at the thought of what Ororo might have said to both Jean and Hank. “I have noticed that the two of you have been spending a great deal of time together.”
Logan simply nodded not wanting to give away too much. “Yeah, we have.” The statement was ambiguous and they both knew it. But Logan was often ambiguous unless asked directly.
“She has seemed very content since your return.”
Logan again felt a small lump building in his chest as his words evoked worries and fears of the accident. He reached up to run a hand through his hand as he tried to regain control of emotions that he hadn’t had any chance to explore or understand.
“There have been several rumors about the two of you that have reached my ears recently.”
Logan chuckled even as he shook his head ruefully. “There ain’t no chance of keepin’ secrets in this place is there?”
Charles smiled and shook his head. “No, I am afraid not.”
Logan leaned forward, his hands on his knees as he regarded the powerful mutant across from him. “This ain’t like ya Chuck; ya don’t usually beat round the bush. Yer subtle, I’ll give ya that but yer usually more direct than this.”
Charles smiled slightly, touching his forehead in a slight salute. “Touché, Logan.”
“I’d guess that ya already know a great deal; ya don’t usually start askin’ questions unless ya already know what most of the answers are gonna be. So it makes me wonder.”
“Why am asking about you and Ororo?” Logan simply nodded and the Professor shrugged his shoulders slightly. “I do not presume to tell either of you what you should do or how you should act. You are after all both consenting adults. I simple wish to for you to know that my door is always open should you simply need someone to listen.”
Now Logan understood; somewhere along the line he had caught some emotion or strain of thought that was causing him some concern. Logan thought for a moment, pondering whether to share what he was feeling at that moment. On impulse, he took a chance and accepted the professor’s offer.
“I almost lost her Chuck; I’ve only just found her and discovered how much she means ta me and I nearly lost her.”
There was a touch of surprise on the Professor’s face at Logan’s acceptance of his offer. His voice was gentle, his tone empathetic as he reached out to Logan.
“But you didn’t. We were lucky this time Logan; we could’ve lost them all.”
“Yeah, I know. But it bothers me that this thing has moved so fast; I wanted to take things slow with her; make sure that what I felt was real. But somehow…” he paused unsure of just what he meant to say.
“Somehow it has gained a life of its own; and grown far quicker than you expected.”
Logan took a deep breath, releasing it in a rush. “Yeah.”
“What do you feel, now at this moment?”
Logan responded without thought, trying to convey his emotions before he had a chance to deny them or bury them. “I’ve known her awhile now and she’s the only one here that seemed ta accept and understand me from the start. I’ve always felt a connection with her; she’s called us kindred spirits on more than one occasion. I’d just laugh and change the subject. When I came back, somethin’ was different between us; I ignored it for awhile until one day the truth hit me over the head.
“I tried to take things slow; I don’t want to hurt her. But we both know we’ve reached a point where there's no turning back. I’m not afraid of that; I just never thought that these feelings would develop so quickly.”
“And what are those feelings?”
“If it ain’t love, it’s the closest thing to it.”
Xavier seemed lost in thought for a moment. “Have you told her?”
“No, I haven’t. I don’t want her ta think that the accident might’ve drawn out somethin’ that wasn’t completely real. When I tell her I love her, I want her to be sure the words come from me, from my heart; not because she was hurt in an accident.”
“Would that be so wrong?”
“No, but she’s been hurt before; and she’s had reason not ta trust someone who’s claimed ta love her. I don’t want her ta ever doubt what I feel for her.”
“I would say that you understand very well how you feel. And when the time comes, I am sure you will be very able to convey what you feel to Ororo.”
“Thanks Chuck; we tried to keep this thing under wraps. Guess we weren’t as good at hiding anythin’ as we thought.”
“Logan, it’s nearly impossible to hide any strong emotions when you’re projecting to an extremely powerful telepath.”
Logan chuckled as Charles tapped his bald forehead. His mood sobered as he remembered the reason that he'd come in the first place. “Ororo wasn’t the only reason I came by Chuck, I wanted ta apologize about what I said…”
Charles held up his hand, interrupting Logan. “No Logan I would never censure a member of my team from speaking their mind; no matter if I should disagree with them. You were looking out for Marie; in that I would have expected you to speak your mind.”
“I don’t want ya ta think that I ever believed ya would let Rogue get hurt; I know ya would do anythin’ to keep that from happenin’. But sometimes kids, especially those that think they’ve been wronged by someone else, lash out. If these powers stay with Rogue, I ain’t so much worried bout her as I am about those around her.”
The professor nodded. “I agree and only time will tell if we will need to step in. But for now, it will have to take a backseat to more pressing business. I am meeting with Jennifer’s parents this afternoon to answer questions they might have about what happened. I am going to ask for them to be part of a memorial service we are going to hold.”
“Ya plan on telling ’em the truth?”
“Yes, I will. Jennifer’s parents were very supportive of her attending. In fact they were adamant that she be allowed to develop and control her powers. They never once mentioned her becoming normal. I think that they can handle the truth of this; and I do not believe that they will lay any blame in Marie’s feet. This was a tragic accident; plain and simple. Hopefully they will see that as well.”
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