Ororo slid into the seat across from Jean her legs suddenly numb and boneless. Her first instinct was that something had happened with the baby, that Jean had lost it. But seeing Jean’s face, her features full of anger and uncertainty along with the sadness in her eyes told her that whatever she needed to speak about had nothing to do with the baby.
Whatever it was, it had obviously shaken the other woman; something that Ororo had not seen happen in a very, very long time. She felt a twinge of fear as she waited for Jean to continue. But Jean remained silent.
Ororo reached out and took the other woman’s free hand in her own, squeezing it gently. “What do we need to talk about Jean?”
Jean twisted the tissue in her hand, sniffling slightly as she pulled herself together. “I went out to run some errands today, early. And I wanted to catch the sale at that baby store we found last week.” She chuckled a bit as Ororo smiled. “I guess I wasn’t the only moody pregnant lady there looking to save a buck.”
Ororo chuckled, the image of a horde of pregnant women descending onto the hapless sales clerks like a bunch of sword wielding Vikings flashing across her mind. “If they were anything like you’ve been, my friend we should have sent the entire team in as back up.”
Jean laughed outright at that. “And have Scott and Warren whining about it for the rest of our lives? No amount of money was worth that.”
They both laughed for several moments. But the humor was short-lived and they sobered quickly.
“So you went to the baby store?” Ororo began again, prompting Jean.
Jean nodded, twisting the tissue again. “I finished my shopping and decided to take a short walk and window shop before coming home. A few blocks from the baby shop, I saw Logan.”
“Yes, he had an errand to run in town this afternoon.” Puzzled, Ororo wondered just what Jean was trying to tell her and what it had to do with Logan.
Jean shook her head. “He wasn’t running any errands when I saw him.” She looked Ororo in the eyes as she spoke, her gaze firm and unyielding.
Ororo felt a stab of panic and anxiety cut through her as the meaning of Jean’s message began to penetrate. “Jean, what was he doing?”
“He was kissing another woman.” Jean reached out to take her other hand as spoke.
“And you are telling me about a peck on the cheek or lips because?” Ororo still hung onto her final shred of denial hoping that somehow Jean had been mistaken; that somehow she had misinterpreted what she had seen.
Jean shook her head, her hand tightening as Ororo tried to pull free. “Ororo, this wasn’t a simple kiss.” She looked at her friend, an incredulous look on her face. “Do you think I’d tell you about it if it was? He was wrapped around her like white on rice. I don’t think there was room enough between them for a sheet of paper.”
Ororo pulled away, standing as she felt a sudden chill come over her. “Perhaps you were wrong; perhaps it was not Logan.” She rubbed her hands over her arms trying to drive away the chill in them. But it moved deeper settling into her very bones as the truth of what Jean was saying hit her.
“Ororo, it looked just like him and he left on the bike that he took from Scott the last time he left. I tried to reach him telepathically but I couldn’t, he was blocking me.” Jean’s voice was gentle, but firm as she tried to get Ororo to see the truth. Fresh tears fell down her cheeks as she watched Ororo pacing the kitchen.
“There has to be an explanation for this. Logan would not do this to me.” Ororo felt sick to her stomach as she paced, her mind racing to explain something she simply could not easily explain.
“Ororo…”
Ororo faced the telepath, holding a hand up. “No Jean, not another word. I appreciate how hard it was for you to tell me this, I do. But it is a mistake.” She turned to leave.
Jean’s voice stopped her at the door. “Ororo, I don’t want to see you hurt again. I’m sorry.”
She did not turn. “It is a mistake; now I just need to figure out which of you is making it.” She walked out of the room.
Ororo stood at the window to her loft room looking out over the mansion grounds, waiting for Logan to return, haunted by Jean’s words. She resisted the urge to fidget as she stood there, her thoughts racing as she tried to somehow make sense of her friend’s words.
He loved her, he had proclaimed that himself in a very public manner that was completely at odds with who and what he was. He had laid claim to her their first night together when they ran through the woods, reveling in the cat and mouse game played out between them. The feral, wild part of himself, the essence of the wolverine had come out that night and claimed her as its own. She knew that, she remembered that and she did nothing to fight it, then or now. She knew that what Jean witnessed could not be true; somehow, it was a mistake.
But then what exactly was it that Jean had seen? What and who could fool the telepath so completely? Who would want to? And what did that mean for her own heart and mind? Could her heart be so wrong about him simply because she loved him? Was she so blinded by that love she was no longer able to see the truth when it was shown to her? Did she dare ignore Jean’s words, hoping them to be false? How on Goddess’s green Earth would she ever recover if they were true?
Ororo knew that she loved Logan with everything she had; there were no stopgaps, no walls, nothing that would protect her from him if he chose to hurt her. She had never allowed anyone that close to her before; no one. Not Jean who she loved as her own flesh and blood, not Scott who she saw as an extension of Jean, not the professor, not Hank not even Remy who she thought of as family. Only Logan held the keys to her soul.
She sighed softly at that thought and for the first time, felt doubt at what she had done in giving him everything she was. Had she made a mistake? Could she have been so wrong about him? She had no answers and a myriad of questions.
She could find no logical explanation for what Jean witnessed. In truth, if she were being completely honest with herself, what Jean saw would explain a great deal of Logan’s recent behavior: his sudden departures, the nervousness, the hushed secretive phone calls all of it could be explained by his seeing another woman. But did she believe that?
Her thoughts were broken as she heard the roar of the motorcycle seconds before Logan rolled up to the garage, walking the bike into it. A few moments later, the roar of the engine cut off.
She sighed loudly and stepped from the window, drifting down to the lawn below. She walked into the garage, meeting him in the middle of the large room. As much as she hated the idea of talking to him about this, as much as she wanted to simply disregard what Jean had seen, she knew she could not.
He smiled at her, giving her a gentle kiss.
She shivered slightly at the familiar touch of his lips on hers. She wanted nothing more than to sink into his embrace and ignore the last thirty minutes of her life; but she knew she could not. So she pulled back, away from his touch, away from the security and comfort only he had ever brought to her.
“Logan, we must talk.” Her voice was strained and tight.
Logan let his arms drop, wondering at her tone and the tension he could see in her face and posture. “Sure thing darlin’. What’s on yer mind?”
Ororo stepped away from him, trying to distance herself, hoping that somehow it might make it easier to discuss the topic. “I had a talk with Jean today. She was very upset.”
Logan relaxed a bit, snorting as she turned away from him. “When ain’t she upset these days? I think this pregnancy is scramblin’ her brains.” Ororo’s face did not change and he sighed gently. Jean’s pregnancy seemed to be affecting a great deal more than just her and Scott. “So what was she pissed about?”
“She went into town today to shop for the baby.” Her voice faltered slightly. “She told me that she saw you outside a store downtown. She said that…” She shivered slightly, suddenly chilled at the idea of repeating Jeans words. She crossed her arms across her chest, rubbing her arms briskly as she tried to fight it off.
“Yeah, go on.” Logan resisted the urge to comfort her; it was obvious that she was having difficulty getting out what she needed to say.
“She said that…” Again her voice faltered and she took a deep breath, steeling herself. “She said that she saw you with another woman, kissing her. Then you left on your bike. She said she tried to reach out to you but either you ignored her or you did not hear her.” Her words came out in a rush, faster and faster until they ran together, so much she was not sure she made any sense.
For several moments there was a heavy silence in the room. Logan stood there, unable to believe what she had just said but still able to hear the words echo in his mind.
He stepped closer to her unable to hide the rage he felt at her accusations. “What exactly are ya askin’ me?”
She looked at him, her eyes ripping holes in his soul. “I do not want to believe her. But I must know what is going on. Were you with someone today?”
He let his hands fall to his sides, managing to remain calm as he answered her question. “I wasn’t with anybody today.” Something in her eyes told him she didn’t quite believe him and his hands clenched into fists as he fought the urge to grab her and shake her. Do ya really think that I would do that ta ya? Do ya really think that I’m that much of a bastard ta do that ta ya?” His tone was gruff, low and completely pissed off.
Ororo shook her head. “No, I do not. But I do not know what to think of this. Jean swore to me that she saw you with another woman. You swear to me that you were alone this afternoon.”
Logan turned from her feeling helpless in the face of the blind rage he felt at her accusation. He ran his hands through his hair roughly, unable to believe that she could ever consider him capable of being unfaithful.
Ororo nearly reached out to touch him, brought her hand up to do just that knowing that despite what Jean had seen, he was telling the truth. She felt her heart break at the realization that something was very wrong with all of this.
She let her hand fall, not touching him. “I know that both of you are telling me the truth but I do not know who is mistaken.”
He turned back to face her, his eyes alight with cold fury. “I told ya I was alone this afternoon.” This time he reached out, grabbing her shoulders firmly, his eyes boring in to hers.
“I know and I believe you, I truly do. But Jean was adamant that she witnessed you with another woman.” Ororo reached up to touch his hands on her shoulders, pleading with him to understand why she felt compelled to ask.
“I don’t give a damn what Jean saw. I wasn’t with another woman.” Beyond angry, enraged to the point of no control, he released her roughly turning away from her pleading eyes.
Ororo sighed wondering just how she could control of this conversation once more. “Of course not Logan.” Her tone was tired.
Logan snorted unsurprised at her easy dismissal of his oath. “Ya don’t fuckin’ believe me.”
“Logan, language.” She admonished him but there was no real heat behind her words.
He turned to face her once more, this time determined to convince her that he was telling the truth. “Screw my language Storm. Why the hell would I ever be with another woman when I’m with ya?”
“I have asked myself that same question. I still do not know the answer.” Ororo reached up and began rubbing her temples. She was bound to have a terrible headache before too long.
“Fine, I’ll give ya a god damned answer.” He reached out, cupping her face in his hands and stepped closer until his lips almost touched hers. “There isn’t anyone else. I’m with ya because I love ya. Do you hear me? I love ya, full stop, period. There ain’t room in my heart for anyone else.” He resisted the urge to simply lean in and show her just how much he did love her. Despite how relaxed she felt against him, he could sense an underlying tension in her. He wanted her to believe him but he didn’t want to push too hard.
She shivered at the feel of his breath on her lips. It was always like that between them, from the very first time that they touched she felt lost in him. She knew that if she allowed it, he could make her forget her fears and concerns over what Jean witnessed. Part of her wanted the glorious ignorance his embrace promised if even for a moment. But the larger part of her knew that somehow she had to find out the truth, even if it ended up breaking her heart.
She pulled away from him, feeling unshed tears sting her eyes. “Then how do we explain this? I know in my heart that you would never be so callous to me Logan, that you would never betray me. I know in my heart that you love me; but my head cannot see past the fact that you do not have to love someone to have sex with them.”
Logan ran his hands through his hair giving a fierce growl even as he shook his head. He had no idea how any of this had happened and he had no idea how to fix it without giving away too much. He wanted the proposal to be special, unique but sometimes with her, things ended up being that way without any effort on his part.
Smiling to himself, he realized that popping the question in the middle of a fight about being unfaithful pretty much put it in the extremely unique and memorable category. In a moment, he tossed away his carefully laid plans to give her the truth behind his behavior over the past couple of days.
He gave her a rueful look. “Dammit. Ya can’t let me do anything the right way can ya?”
“What do you mean?” Confused, she watched him carefully.
“Ya wanna know the real reason I was downtown today, alone?”
She shook her head. “You do not have to ex…”
Logan cut in, his voice harsh. “Ya started this, now ya can’t handle finding out the truth? Buck up Storm and learn to take yer licks.” He reached into his pocket, closing his hand on the small box there.
She sighed hating herself for the fear that she felt that maybe somehow she was wrong and Jean had indeed witnessed something. She crossed her arms across her chest and gave him a glacial stare. “Fine. What were you doing downtown when Jean saw you kissing some other woman?”
“I was pickin’ up yer engagement ring.” He pulled his hand out, holding the box in his palm showing it to her.
“What?” Dumbfounded she could only stare blankly at the box for several moments.
“Yeah that’s right, I was gonna propose.” He turned to the bike and pulled out the live plant next. “I was in the damn shop for nearly twenty minutes pickin’ it up and shootin’ the breeze with Jean-Pierre. Then I thought it might be nice ta buy somethin’ new fer the greenhouse so I went downtown ta that florist ya like so much, which is on the other side of town. That’s what took me so damn long; traffic was hell today.” He handed the plant and the box to her and waited.
“Logan?” Her voice sounded so small and there were tears in her eyes as she opened the box to look at the ring he wanted her to wear.
“Ya just don’t get it do ya. Cause he’s still inside ya hurtin’ ya even after all this time.” He stepped closer to her, his own eyes filled with love and desire and something more as he took a hold of the hand that held the ring. “I love ya. I want ta marry ya. I wanna spend the rest of my life with ya. I wanna watch us raise a family and grow old together. I wanna know that everyday when I wake up, you’ll be next ta me and when I go ta sleep, I want ya ta be the last thing I see.” He reached up to stroke her cheek as the tears slid down her face. “God dammit woman, I want you. All I’ve ever wanted is you.”
“You want to marry me?” She found her voice at last, but it was soft and a bit shy.
He smiled. “Ain’t that what I just said?”
“But we only spoke of it that one time when you were worried that Forge might convince me to go back with him simply because he was willing to marry me. I thought you brought it up because of what he said, I did not know you felt this way.” Her lip quivered slightly as the reality of what Logan had done began sinking in. In her arm the plant quivered as she was overcome by his words.
“Things change Ororo, people change. Ya should know that better than most of us.” He reached and rescued the plant and set it aside before turning to face her once more.
She smiled slightly, her eyes still shining. “Yes, I do.” She threw herself into his arms, feeling them come up and encircle her, pressing against her. She reveled in his strength, in the solid feel of him surrounding her as she simply immersed herself in the myriad of emotions his proposal evoked. Nothing had ever her made her feel this happy not even Forge’s proposal had given her the fierce joy that now sang through her.
She shuddered slightly feeling a sense of horror come over her as the last few minutes of their conversation hit her once more. She pulled back slightly her face horrified at what she had nearly thrown away. “Dear Goddess Logan, what did I nearly do?”
He touched her lips. “Hush, it’s over with.”
“But I just accused you of…”
Again he cut her off not wanting to hear the words come from her mouth again; once was enough for him. “No ya didn’t. And as far as I’m concerned ya had every reason ta be suspicious.” He pulled her close once more, his mind already racing over possible explanations for what Jean had seen. “Forge being here has got ya wrapped up tighter than a G.I. Joe with a three day pass to naked Barbie Woodstock.” He rubbed her back slowly, soothingly as she started chuckling.
“Thanks for that lovely analogy.” Her laughter died as she hugged him harder needing to drive her fear away. “And I am still very sorry.”
He smiled even as he leaned in and took a deep breath, inhaling her scent. It soothed him, driving away the last of his rage as he turned his focus to finding the truth behind the lies. “Don’t worry, we’ll get ta the bottom of this. I have a sneakin’ suspicion that our guest might know somethin’ ‘bout this whole mess.”
Ororo looked at him in shock. “You cannot really believe that Forge would go to this length just to make you look bad.”
He snorted. “I can and I do. The man thinks he’s in love with ya. Sometimes men do crazy things ta get the attention of someone they love.” He reached out to touch her face gently, his mind remembering what he had been willing to do long before he knew for sure he loved her.
She smiled at him gently her mind also recalling some special events. “Like nearly gutting a complete stranger in a night club just for being drunk, grabby and a bit stupid?”
He smiled wryly. “Yeah, just like that.” He gazed at her in silence for several long moments, the previous conversation forgotten in the heat building between them. “So, do ya have an answer fer me?”
She opened her mouth to answer, surprised that he still needed to ask but her answer was lost by an unexpected summons from the professor.
X-men report to the war room.
Logan swore violently even as he acknowledged Xavier. “Dammit he has a lousy sense of timin’.” He dropped his arms and began leading her back into the mansion.
“Logan, I would like to give you your answer.”
He turned, seeing that she still held the ring. He reached out and curled her fingers around the box even as he shook his head. “No, this ain’t gonna take long. I want us ta be somewhere private cause I plan on makin’ love ta ya the rest of the day when ya tell me yes.” He smiled as he began walking to the mansion once more. “Come on, let’s get this over with.”
Xavier waited until the last member of the team had seated themselves before beginning to speak. “As most of you know, Forge came back to the mansion earlier this week with some information concerning something someone in his lab is working on. I asked him to wait because I wanted to confer with my own contacts within the government about this information. I have been waiting for a reply; today I received that confirmation.”
Xavier reached out to small panel on the arm of his chair pressing several buttons, waiting for the liquid crystal map to form the desired structure on the table. The eyes that were on him only a moment before turned their attention to the display before them.
“This government facility is deep in the back woods wilderness of Virginia. They have overlapping guard posts and shifts, heavy artillery and enough ammo and supplies to survive a year long siege. According to Forge they also have state of the art security and they are completely isolated so hacking our way in is impossible.”
“Professor, what exactly is going on there?” Scott spoke up from one side of the table.
Xavier sighed. “According to Forge and my own sources, the government is developing a temporary cure for mutants, some kind of dampening field that temporarily neutralizes certain neurological frequencies that are very common in most mutants. This field renders the exposed mutant powerless and completely human.” His words were met with stunned silence. He continued on saying what he knew everyone was thinking at just that moment.
“I do not need to tell you the implications that this has for all mutants and just what they might be planning to use it for.” He pushed a few buttons again, showing different areas of the facility to the team. “Normally I might advise more precautionary measures such as a carefully placed saboteur or even using some of my own contacts to see that this experiment is buried.”
There were several nods around the table; such things had been done before with a great deal of success. It made things simpler and easier for the government to happily sweep under the rug. They were more apt to believe one of their enemies responsible than a covert team operating from within their own country. Xavier hated drawing attention to their team if at all possible.
Xavier sighed again, abruptly shutting down the display. “But we no longer have that kind of time; they are very close to perfecting this. Worse is the news that they have a small group of mutants being held against their will that they are testing this field on. That in my mind justifies the need to go in and destroy their research and rescue the mutants.”
Logan looked at Charles carefully knowing exactly what this decision had cost him. “How can we be sure they don’t have back up data somewhere else?”
“Forge has told me, as have several of my own contacts, that the persons heading this experiment are extremely paranoid about their work getting out or getting stolen. If they succeed, they can sell their information to the highest bidder. Therefore they are keeping a tight lid on every piece of data and they are keeping it in the lab.
“However, just as a precaution, I wish to send out single person teams to the homes of those in charge to ensure that no copies were made. Each team will be given a powerful virus to install on any computer system they find that will destroy the data the next time it is retrieved or booted onto the computer.” He waved at Forge who began passing out folders filled with information about their intended targets and a copy of the virus to the remaining team members.
“What are we going to do about the lab?” Scott looked through his folder slowly committing it all to memory, his tone and bearing all business.
“I am sending in Forge and Logan to infiltrate it, destroy the research data and equipment and rescue any mutants they find there. If at all possible, they are to destroy the lab as well.”
Again there was a shocked silence around the room as Charles’ words sank in.
“Isn’t that a bit much?” Warren’s voice was quiet from his end of the table.
Xavier shook his head. “No, I do not want this traced back to us, nor to mutant activities in general. I want there to be a great deal of confusion as to who is responsible and why. We must make this look like a general attack on the lab. If we only destroy the data, someone is going to know the real reason behind it.” He looked around at each member of the team, meeting their eyes as he continued speaking.
“It is imperative that this be done quickly and quietly. Once we know the lab is destroyed, I will send the one man teams in. The chaos of the lab being destroyed should buy us the window we need to get in and out of their residences without trouble.”
Logan nodded at Xavier. “Won’t it look a bit suspicious, the lab goin’ down and then the houses?”
“That’s why you and Forge will be planting evidence to point to at least two other government groups that have openly been trying to sabotage mutant research in this country for some time.” He looked at the others. “Are there any other questions?” Silence and several head shakes were his only response. “Good then Forge, Logan you’ll leave for the lab as soon as you’re ready. Good luck gentlemen and come back safe.” The team began filing out of the room.
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