Logan spent the rest of the day in a very surly mood. He stomped around the mansion for awhile, trying to blunt the murderous edge of his temper. But when he noticed many of the students giving him strange looks, and a wide berth in the hallways, he decided that maybe he’d better work off his temper somewhere else.
So he disappeared into the basement, spending the past two hours in the danger room venting his rage out on computer simulated enemies. For that amount of time, he lost himself in the carnage he created. He slashed, kicked and pummeled until he couldn’t feel his hands, or see beyond the haze of red in front of him. All the while, in the back of his mind was the thought: How dare her!
He emerged sweaty, his clothing torn, minor wounds already healing and his temper silent for the most part. He made his way back up to his room to shower and change, and was surprised to see Ororo waiting for him outside his room. “Hey ‘Ro. Thought you were busy with yer classes.”
She stood as he opened his door and went inside. She stood outside. He noticed that she hadn’t followed him into the room and turned to face her as she stood on his threshold. “Don’t be shy; yer welcome in here anytime.”
She came in slowly, her face thoughtful as she shut the door softly behind her. “I came to ask if you are all right.”
He turned his back to her and peeled off his torn shirt; it didn’t look as if he’d be able to salvage it so he simply tossed it into the trash. “I’m fine ‘Ro. Just needed a workout is all.” He heard her snort as he reached for a new shirt and he knew that she didn’t believe him.
“I went looking for you when I finished my work, hoping that we might fit in a ride this evening when I came upon Jean sitting in the kitchen. She looked very upset and said that the two of you had a fight. Is that true?”
Logan shrugged his shirt on as he turned around, already steeling his expression to keep the anger and hurt inside. “Sortta. We had a conversation that sortta escalated inta a disagreement.”
This time a frown appeared on Ororo’s serious face. “What was this disagreement about?”
Logan shrugged not willing to tell her the real reason that he was mad at Jean; that they had been talking about her and the growing bond that Logan was seeking to build between them. He wasn’t ready to tell her that he found her attractive; more than attractive, he found her mesmerizing.
In fact, if he was being completely honest with himself, in the few days since he had accepted his initial attraction, the feelings had intensified and grown to something so much more than a physical yearning; though that was there too. It was almost as if, by simply admitting his desires to himself, he had removed all inhibitions and set himself free to feel even more about her than he was currently prepared to do.
But he knew that if he told her that now, if he tried to tell her that now, she would push him away, shut herself off in an attempt to protect them both; at least in her mind. He knew that if she managed to do that, if she managed to shut him out now, she would never let him close again. And the friendship they had once shared would be strained to say the least. So he did the only thing that he could do; he lied to her.
“It was nothin’ ‘Ro, somethin’ stupid; not even worth repeatin’.”
For a moment she looked unsure, as if somehow she could sense his lie. But then she simply nodded and turned to leave. He thought he was in the clear until she stopped at the door and spoke quietly over her shoulder. “I had hoped you would know that just because she and Scott are my friends, I would not judge you or your feelings for her. She must come to her own decisions, free of guidance from anyone. I had only hoped you would feel that you could confide in me if need be. I am sorry that I was wrong.”
She opened the door, shutting it quietly behind her.
Logan stood in the room, his frustration igniting all over again. He swore loudly wondering just how to repair his friendship with Jean and continue building his relationship with Ororo when both women were hurt for very different reasons. Somehow, his day had gone from bright and promising, to bleak and dismal in the span of a couple of hours.
It’s a damned rollercoaster ‘round here. How the hell do I get off? He sighed loudly as he realized that he just might have to swallow his pride and beg forgiveness from both of them.
“Dammit Joe, get yer head outta yer ass; ya shoulda seen that blow comin’ from a mile away.” Logan’s angered voice echoed loudly in the workout room as he strode toward the sparring pair.
Around them, the other students were fighting in pairs as well. Hearing his angry shout, most of the students stopped fighting to watch the drama unfold before them.
He reached the two young mutants, anger and annoyance written clearly in every line of his body. He reached out, grabbing Joe’s arm and showed him the block again.
“Like I showed aarlier; keep yer arm loose and watch his eyes. His eyes; they’ll give ya the first clue as ta what his next move will be. Do it again.” He stepped back as he watched the two go through the motions one more time.
This time he grunted and turned to see that the rest of the class had stopped fighting to watch them. He felt a wave of irritation wash over him; the first time he had ever felt that while teaching them and he snapped out at them. “What ya lookin’ at? Get back to it, all of ya.” He walked around the room, his temper hardly eased by snapping at the students. In fact, if anything, the outburst only increased his bad mood.
It had been four days since his argument with Jean in the kitchen; and it had been four days since he’d managed to spend any time alone with Ororo. She hadn’t ignored him exactly; but she made it clear that he had hurt her feelings and worse, Jean’s.
Whenever he’d tried to talk to her, she’d respond as simply and as shortly as she could without appearing rude. But Logan knew that she was still angry and he wasn’t sure exactly how he was going to mend things with her.
He kept trying, asking her to watch a movie with him, ride on his bike, even asking her if she needed a hand in his greenhouse. But she turned him down; and each time she did, he could see a trace of emotion in her eyes that he couldn’t quite place. It seemed almost like she was hiding a trace of sadness from him; but he had no idea why she would be sad about his desire not to open up to her. But if he was ever going to make her see and understand what he felt about her, then he’d better figure it out.
So he started the week in a terribly dark mood; this did not go unnoticed by those around him. Even his students, who were normally oblivious in their own immature, teenager way, noticed his edgy temper. He’d been riding them hard all week, demanding a level of skill and performance that he’d never asked for before. He’d even added another mile to their run despite the fact that they were already running ten miles a day.
He’d even yelled at Rogue, something that even Marie never thought would happen. After the class, he’d apologized saying he was a little out of line and that had been the end of it; at least in his mind. But it must have bothered her a great deal more than she let on because she cornered him after class on Friday.
“Logan, do ya have a minute?” She was waiting outside of the workout room for him.
He walked past her, not really wanting to talk to her either. He’d spent the last twenty minutes pummeling a workout bag hoping to relieve some of his frustration over the past several days. It hadn’t really helped. “Sure Rogue, what is it?” He kept walking down the hall.
She fell into step next to him. “Ah wanted to talk to ya about the bad mood yer in.”
He turned to look at her, his face smooth and unreadable. “What bad mood?”
She snorted loudly. “What bad mood? What do ya mean ‘what bad mood’? Logan yer walkin’ around this place like you have a stick shoved up yer…” He glared at her and she swallowed the last word. She ignored the glare and pressed on. “Yer walkin’ around itchin’ fer a fight and I wanna know why.”
He rolled his eyes at her demand. “Look Rogue, there’s nothin’ wrong.”
“Ya can’t lie ta me Logan. Ah know something’s bothering ya; ya damn near took off Joe’s head because he didn’t manage to learn the move ya taught him in ten minutes.”
“That don’t mean a thing.”
“And ya yelled at me in front of everyone. Ya’ve never done that before.”
Logan stopped walking, looking at her closely. He realized that his words hurt her ; not because he’d yelled at her but because he been so uncaring when he did it. He sighed as he realized that she did know him and she wasn’t about to leave the subject alone until he told her.
“Come on. We’ll go ta my room. I’d rather not talk bout this where anybody else can hear us.” He walked off and she followed. Once in his room, he stalled for a moment wondering where to start.
“What’s going on Logan?”
He ran his hands through his hair, almost as if he was nervous. “It’s nothing really. Just a disagreement; had ta set someone straight who was butting in where they didn’t belong.”
Rogue looked puzzled. “A disagreement? Do ya mean an argument? ’Bout what exactly Logan? Did it have anything to do with Ms. Munroe?”
Logan glanced at her in surprise. Ororo had told him that rumors were beginning to fly around the school about the two of them. But he’d simply brushed them aside assuming that they would fall off as time passed. In fact, he’d had a good chuckle over the idea of those rumors when he’d first heard about them. Now, it seemed that they hadn’t exactly died down.
“How would you know anything about that?”
This time Rogue rolled her eyes heavenward; as if to ask for divine patience from on high. “Come on Logan, we’re mutants; we’re not blind, deaf and dumb; well not most of us anyways. We can all see there’re some sparks flying between the two of ya.”
Logan was a bit annoyed by that statement. He’d only just realized that he was attracted to Ororo in the past couple of weeks; just how long had the students been noticing “sparks”?
“Just when did you see these sparks, and who’s we?”
Rogue shrugged. “The whole school and we’ve all seen it; ya guys have been on the gossip mill for months. There’s a pool going to see when ya’ll finally get together.”
Despite himself, Logan’s eyes widened at that. “There’s a pool on when ‘Ro and I…”
Rogue shook her head nearly laughing at the shocked look on his face. “No, course not. The pool’s for when ya'll actually start dating.”
Logan held his hands up wanting desperately for the conversation to change its current course. “Look lets start this conversation over again and I’ll pretend that I didn’t hear anythin’ bout students placin’ bets on the faculty’s love life.”
She nodded. “Fine with me. Answer the question; what’s going on?”
He shrugged. “I sorta had a fight with Jean and Ororo.”
She waited for him to elaborate but he was silent. “With both of them? ‘Bout what?”
Logan sighed, sitting down as he held his head in his hands. “Jean was askin’ ‘bout me and ‘Ro and I flipped out tellin’ her ta mind her own business.”
Rogue’s eyes widened at that statement. “So what did she ask about?”
He shrugged. “We never got around ta what she really wanted ta say; as soon as she mentioned ‘Ro, I shut her down. My guess is she wanted ta warn me off datin’ her; like I woulda taken the hint anyway.”
Rogue stepped closer, letting her voice drop as she became even more serious. “Logan, are ya and Ms. Munroe dating?”
He looked up at her for several moments wondering just how much he should tell her. She was a kid, at least physically. But he also knew that she had several other people’s memories floating around in her young mind, his included, giving her uniquely informed insight. “No, we ain’t. But I was hopin’ ta change that very soon. Now I don’t know if I’ll be able ta; she won’t talk ta me.”
“Why?”
“Because of my fight with Jean.”
“So she was mad at ya for fighting with Jean.”
“Not exactly.”
Rogue clenched her hands, touched her forehead and took a deep breath. “Logan, Ah consider myself very patient, but would ya please get to the point already; these simple answers aren’t telling me a thing.”
“’Ro found out about the fight. She came ta see if I needed an ear. I turned her down and she got rather upset.”
“How upset?”
Logan shrugged. “She wasn’t cryin’ or nothin’ like that, but she got real quiet.” He sighed. “I haven’t managed to spend any time with her outside of class since.”
Rogue nodded. “That explains the bad mood. Ya know Logan, when you dig a hole, ya go all out. Ah don’t know how you’re gonna dig yourself outta this one.”
For the first time since she had followed him into his room, he let a flash of irritation show at the entire situation. “Look, I don’t need ya ta state the obvious.”
“Ah know. And Ah think Ah understand. Yer mad at yerself for saying what ya did to Jean and yer mad at her for butting her nose in where it don’t belong.”
Logan thought for a moment. He was mad at himself for what had happened between him and Jean; there was no reason for him to have reacted the way he had. But he realized that he wasn’t really mad at Jean; after all she was only acting on her concern for a close friend.
She needed Logan to be honest with her and tell her that yes, he was pursuing Ororo. But he had no intention of treating the budding relationship as anything but serious and he would do everything in his power to keep from hurting her. She’d needed to hear that from him; and he hadn’t even attempted to tell her that.
Instead he’d over reacted simply because he wasn’t ready to admit that he was over Jean and feeling something for someone else. Because he was afraid that if he admitted it out loud to anyone, they might think what he felt for Ororo was just as fleeting. And in a few months, his interest would turn elsewhere.
Even though he was beginning to realize that just wasn’t true. His need to be with her was growing every day; the yearning to take the next step and ask her out pressed upon him with growing urgency. It wouldn’t be long before he would be unable to ignore it.
“I ain’t mad at Jean; I’m mad at myself though. I handled it badly and I shoulda been more honest with both her and myself.”
“So now what are ya gonna do? Ya can’t keep walkin’ around in a bad mood, takin’ yer frustration out on whoever’s around. We’ll have found a way to kill ya before another week is out.”
Logan chuckled. “I’ve been that bad, huh?”
“Worse. But Ah don’t think they’ll hold it against ya if ya can fix this and fast.”
Logan sighed. “I guess I have ta go apologize ta Jean then.”
“Yeah, and maybe even go and be honest with Ms. Munroe. She deserves to know what’s been going on. Or at least why ya don’t want to talk about it with her.”
Logan nodded and nearly pushed her out the door as he shut it behind him. “Thanks kid.”
“It was ‘bout time someone put a foot up yer ass.”
He chuckled despite himself and watched her walk to her next class. He sighed, deciding to wait a bit longer to find Jean; he wasn’t quite ready to apologize to her just yet. First, to set himself straight, he needed to speak with Ororo; and he knew just where to find her.
“Dammit Jean this is crazy. You’re reading way too much into this conversation. After all, when doesn’t he over react to someone telling him what he can and can't do?”
After their altercation in the kitchen, Logan wasn’t the only one who had remained quiet and thoughtful while battling their temper. Jean herself had been quiet and withdrawn, even with Scott. They were in the room they shared discussing what had happened nearly a week ago; Scott had finally dragged the truth out of her a day or so ago.
“It’s not that Scott; I wasn’t trying to protect ‘Ro. At least not protect her the way he thought I was. I just wanted to gauge his feelings for her; see if they were as deep as I was beginning to suspect they were.”
“And?”
“He’s hard to read even under the best of circumstances; like when he’s calm and rational and willing.”
“All of which he wasn’t once you mentioned Ororo.”
“Yeah, but I still managed to catch something. I never thought I’d see the day, but I truly believe he’s over me. In fact, I would go so far as to say that he thinks of me as close friend, nothing more.”
“Well that’s a relief.”
“Scott!”
“What do you expect me to say? So sad, sorry he’s not still trying to steal the love of my life?”
“Point taken. But I may have messed things up between them; they haven’t been seen together all week and Rogue let it slip that he’s been in a horrible mood all week. Somehow, our argument sparked a fight between the two of them.”
“So what are you going to do now?”
“Find a way to fix it.”
“You realize that you could make things worse; or make them angry at you.”
“I know, but I’d rather they were angry at me then at each other for something so ridiculous.”
Logan walked into Ororo’s empty classroom as she sat at her desk quietly going over notes for the next day’s class. He stood in the doorway watching her silently as she worked. He couldn’t put his finger on exactly what it was about her that held him so mesmerized. She was beautiful, there was no doubt about that. With her white hair, ice blue eyes, caramel colored skin and slender form she was definitely a ten in his book.
But he knew that there was more to it than her beauty; she was also graceful and elegant in her movements. She was kind and generous with every living thing that came across her path; she was as kind and gentle to those around her as she was to her plants. He marveled at that; that she wouldn’t feel the need to draw the distinction between those she loved and other living things. It was just another thing about her that surprised him.
Suddenly, she sensed his intense gaze upon her and looked up.
“Good morning Logan.”
He stepped into the room, making his way to her desk half expecting her to bolt from the room. “Hey ‘Ro. Ya got a minute?”
She looked around her empty classroom and shrugged. “I suspect that you are merely being polite as it would seem that I do have a moment.”
Logan reached the desk and leaned forward slightly as she leaned back. He could see her pulling away from him; he knew that somehow he had to stop her from doing that. “Good. We need to talk about the other day; meet me down in the work out room in an hour.” He straightened as a puzzled look came over her face.
“Why do you wish to meet in the workout room?”
“The last time ya needed ta talk to me ‘bout somethin’, we met in the greenhouse; ya told me it soothed ya to be in there when ya were troubled ‘bout somethin’. Well, I’m troubled ‘bout somethin’ and I want ta meet in a place that soothes me, so ta speak.”
She nodded, resuming her reading. “Very well Logan, I shall be there.”
He walked out, going back to his room to grab a quick change of clothes before heading back to the gym. He needed to work out a few more kinks with the bag before he faced Ororo and the harsh words that lay between them.
True to her word, Ororo walked into the work out room an hour later; she had even changed her clothes. “Exactly what is it that we need to talk about Logan?”
Logan stopped punching the bag and turned to face Ororo as he grabbed a nearby towel to wipe off the sweat from his work out. “Spar with me first; I need a minute ta gather my thoughts.” The truth was, he had spent the better part of the last hour gathering his thoughts. But he found that he was having a difficult time finding the words he wanted to apologize to her.
Whether she sensed his difficulties, or whether she was simply polite, Ororo was silent as she stretched and then took her stance in front of him.
It was almost a dance between them; she would attack and he would defend or evade; back and forth between them with blinding speed and precision. They moved gracefully around the room, punching, kicking, blocking as they sparred.
Logan watched her with a mixture of pride and desire. His pride recognized that he had taught her the skills that she was displaying so well against him. And he felt a twinge of desire that only continued to grow stronger as they fought; her shapely body and graceful movements awakening the hunger inside of him.
At that moment, he caught a strong whiff of her unique scent and he felt a surge inside himself as his animal abruptly awoke. He felt his lips pull up to bare his fangs as he growled softly. Realizing that he was perilously close to loosing control, Logan clamped his mental defenses down, keeping his more feral self from surging forward and taking over. All the while, he pushed up the fight with Ororo, seeking to end the close contact with her before the baser part of himself managed to break free.
Finally in a series of moves executed with blinding speed, he pinned Ororo to the mat. She looked at him in surprise as they allowed their breathing to slow. Neither of them moved, afraid to break the spell that was building between them. Finally, Logan found his voice.
“I wanted ta apologize ‘Ro. I shouldn’t have snapped at ya after my argument with Jean. I shoulda been more honest with ya about the fight Jean and I had. Truth is, I really didn’t want ta talk about it.”
Ororo smiled at his soft spoken words as she reached up, touching his cheek gently. He recognized that this was a sign of affection from her; it was something she rarely did and he found himself touched by it.
“Why did you not say so? I would have honored that. I had thought you worried that I would judge you.”
Still he made no move to get off her or let her up. He could feel desire building up in him again, pushing him to taste her lips and more. “No, I wasn’t worried bout that. I just thought ya might not understand.”
She looked genuinely confused at the thought that she might be anything but understanding with him. “Not understand what Logan?”
“This.” Logan tried, he truly did but she was far too tempting and he had been fighting for far too long. Logan stopped resisting the temptation her lips had become to him and leaned in.
His first touch was soft, fleeting as if he were testing her reaction. But when she didn’t pull away, or stop him, he touched his lips to hers again. After a few moments, he pulled back to look at her startled face. She surprised him by reaching up, wrapping her hands in the front of his shirt and pulling him down for another kiss.
The kiss before had been somewhat chaste; she had seemed unsure of how to respond to the sudden and unexpected gesture. This time when their lips met, it was molten hot and wild. Logan felt sparks jumping between them as she somehow unwound her hands from his shirt and buried them deep in his thick hair. He found himself doing the same thing, marveling at its soft, silky feel as they both fell deeper under the passionate spell being woven between them. They broke apart, each fighting for air as if they had just finished a ten mile run together.
“I cannot do this; though Goddess knows I want to.”
He leaned his forehead against hers, suddenly desperate to maintain his close contact with her. Fighting the urge to simply carry her upstairs, fling her down onto the nearest bed and spend the rest of the night ravishing her with delight. “’Ro, I…” He felt her pull away from him; he could feel her drawing up her defenses even as he tried to keep her from doing it. “Don’t pull away from me darlin’. Not after that.”
Ororo struggled to get out from underneath him but he wouldn’t budge. She even turned her face away when he would have kissed her again. “I will not be a substitute for Jean, Logan.”
He went still above her, his desire suddenly gone, replaced quickly with anger. “Why would ya say somethin’ like that?” This time, when she struggled to get up, he let her. They stood there, facing each other both hurt and angry at the other.
“I am not blind, and I am not a fool. Everyone here knows how you feel about her. But she chose Scott and now you come to me like this. What am I supposed to think? That you have just forgotten about her?”
“Dammit ‘Ro, this is got nothin’ ta do with Jean or One Eye, this is between us.”
“No Logan, she is still there.”
Logan’s eyes narrowed in anger as he grasped her shoulders tightly. “Ya think so little of me that I would do something like that to you? Or do ya think so little of yerself that ya think that no one might want ya for you?” She remained silent. “Do ya want the truth?”
“What truth?”
“That I want ya; not Storm the Weather Witch or the X-men leader, not even Ororo Munroe the goddess. But ‘Ro the woman; the hot blooded, passionate woman that I know is under all of those things; the woman who distracts me whenever she walks into the room; the woman who dazzles me everyday with a new side of herself that I would never expect to see.” He reached up to touch her face gently, letting his own passion and need rise to the surface. He let his desire for her show in his face, eyes and touch and watched as she yielded, just a bit.
“Ya think I’m usin’ ya, ta forget about Jean; when ya don’t realize that I’ve already forgotten bout her; haven’t thought bout her for months now. Do ya know why?” Ororo shook her head. “Because I’m so busy bein’ dazzled by ya and tryin’ ta figure out how I feel bout ya, that I don’t have room in my head ta even think bout Jean.
“Yeah I notice when Jean walks into the room; who wouldn’t, she’s an attractive woman. But when ya walk into the room, I don’t see nothin’ else; it comes alive around ya. Yer so damned beautiful that sometimes it hurts me to look at ya, wantin’ ya the way I do; ya deserving so much more than I have ta give. I fall apart inside when yer sad and I want ta howl whenever I see ya happy. Yer smile lights up my whole day; even the kids have noticed my good moods after I’ve been around ya. Hell I’ve been in such a bad mood this whole week, they threatened ta find a way to kill me if I didn’t set things right with ya.” She chuckled and he knew that she was imaging a roomful of teenagers going over battle strategies when they thought no one was looking. He used the distraction to draw her closer until she was once again embraced in his strong arms.
“So where do we go from here?”
He kissed her gently, touching her face with his large rough hand, causing her to shiver. “Let’s take it slow and see where it leads. I don’t wanna mess up the first good thing that’s happened ta me in a long time.”
She nodded. “I think that would be good.’
“I've gotta be honest with ya, I thought ya wouldn’t want me.”
She reached up to touch his face, her slender hand stroking his grizzled cheek gently. “Foolish man, what ever would give you that idea? Do you not realize how open and free I have been with you these past months?” He nodded. “I hope you realize what a rare thing that is; there is no one in this house that knows that side of me.”
“No one?”
“Perhaps Remy, but he is like family to me. Beyond him, there was no one I felt worthy of sharing it with; until you came home to stay.”
He leaned closer to her, touching his forehead to hers as he pondered what a rare gift he’d suddenly been given. “Then I have just one question for ya ‘Ro.” His voice was husky and she shivered slightly.
“What would that be?”
“How’s ‘bout another kiss?”
Her laughter was cut short as he didn’t wait for the answer and kissed her again. Neither of them noticed Jubilee quietly closing the door to the workout room; too engrossed in each other to notice that they had been spotted.
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