"I thought I explained what happened in tha letter…."
"Yes, Logan, it explained it, but it does not excuse it, you violated me and I do not care why you did it," She spat at him as she stood from the bed, glaring at him as she folded her arms across her chest.
"Aw shit Ro, don't get all ‘Miss. Gentle’ on me. What happened in that elevator ain't nothing compared ta what we've done in this very bed, or on your desk, or my on Hog," He spoke now in a near growl his own temper flaring. "So cut tha shit and tell me why you're 'really' so pissed at me," At his words Ororo's eyes whitened and a sudden gust of wind blew in from behind Logan, but he didn't even flinch, just held his ground.
"This is about you attacking me, and thinking you can do with me as you please, I am done being your whore, Logan."
"I think there’s more to it than that. And for the record, yer tha one who keeps sayin that, I ain’t never thought of ya as 'my' whore, and as I recall ya always gave as good as ya got, darlin," These words hit Ororo hard, in their truth. "So don't go getting holier than thou. Ya can't rape tha willin, and ya could have stopped anytime in tha elevator, so why didn't ya?" She opened her mouth to scream a reply but then her mouth clamped shut, for she had no answer. She truly didn't know why she hadn't stopped him. He was right she could have done so with a simple 'no' or 'stop', but she had said neither. "Hmmm," He spoke as he moved to where she stood, and she in turn moved back. He kept moving to her until she was completely against a wall, allowing her no escape, and then he leaned into her, face to face. "Why didn't ya stop me Ro, why aren't ya stopping me right now," He paused sniffing the air a bit and then smirking down at her when the tell-tale signs of her wetness and arousal filled his nostrils. "Because a part of ya likes it…"
Smack!
His sentence ended with a harsh slap across his face, courtesy of Ororo. Logan's smile grew wider as he stepped back, running his tongue over his now bloodied lip. "I'm goin ta Japan," He stated.
"I do not care," Ororo lied trying to look indifferent again Logan smirked and she silently cursed him and his in-tuned senses. He then reached out and touched the tags she still wore.
"I'll be wantin these back when I return. Bye darlin," With that Logan turned and left out the way he had come in, this time leaping over and off the terrace. Ororo stood looking after him for a second before she yanked off the tags and threw them in the direction he had left, but it only took her a few more seconds to slowly walk over to the discarded tags and pick them up. Again, tears stung her eyes and she felt lost, so she decided to do the one thing that had always helped her in such times of sorrow.
"I've been expecting you," A voice in the darkened room called out.
"I hope I did not wake you?"
"No, it's kind of hard to sleep with all the voices in my head. I'm still trying to get used to my new heightened powers, and I've got one hell of a headache," She joked with a giggle as Ororo gave her a sympathetic smile.
"But you are ok otherwise?"
"Yes, Ororo I am fine, but you really didn't come here to check up on me," Jean spoke the obvious, and Ororo shamefully lowered her head a bit. "It's ok, come sit let's have a girl talk like we use to, I've missed that."
"As have I," Ororo replied, smiling brightly as he moved to the bed and sat down.
"So, what has got you so upset?" Jean asked as he scooted up and back into her pillow.
"Logan," Ororo answered plainly, knowing it was futile to try to cover it up. When Jean simply smiled knowing but didn't speak, Ororo continued. "We have, Logan and I," She began as she looked down at her hands, which fidgeted in her lap. "We have become lovers," She looked up at Jean for some kind of reaction and was relieved to see no hint of jealousy in her green eyes.
"And I sense that it makes you very happy and also very unhappy," Jean commented and Ororo nodded her head. "Why?"
"You," Ororo replied now looking directly at her friend. "I am ashamed to say that we became lovers out of our mutual grief over losing you. I knew it and I did not care, at first but then…"
"You love him," Jean said and a stunned Ororo looked up at her.
"Goddess is it that obvious and if it is why can't Logan see it."
"It's not what I would say is obvious. I just know you and you would never have some meaningless fling, no matter how it started or with whom. So, I'm the reason you and Logan had a fight before he left?" Ororo looked at her silently questioning how she knew. "I got bits and pieces, not purposely, of what happened, did Logan attack you?" Jean asked. She had found it hard to believe when Ororo's words popped into her head.
"No more than usual," Ororo said in a low voice. "Goddess this is hard," She said taking a deep breath. "All my life I have built up this exterior, and I swore after all those years in Cairo, with men pawing over me and lusting after me that I would never be submissive to any man, especially a man I knew desired another and then…"
"Then there's Logan," Jean finished for her. "He is not like most men, not like any man I've ever known at least. I think that adds to his appeal."
"So, you are interested in him?" Ororo questioned as her heart cramped in her chest.
"No, I love Scott…more now than ever. Logan," Jean sighed trying to think of the right wording. "It's just nice sometimes to be told you're beautiful, to have a man want you and you can see it in his eye. Logan is simply a flirt, and yeah, he'll push the envelope but he'll only go as far as you let him, and I love Scott and I would never betray my love for him," She finished with a smile. "So, what happened?”
"I am an idiot, a jealous idiot," Ororo said as she let her head fall into Jean's lap and Jean began stroking the white tresses. "Logan was right, what he did in the elevator was tame compared to most of our passionate encounters, it manifested a physical hurt in me and I did not want it because I thought he was only doing it in anger of learning about your engagement to Scott, but he was simply 'claiming' me. He felt the need after Scott had claimed you so to speak."
"Wait, claiming you as in a mating kind of way?" Jean asked with a huge smile across her face and Ororo simply nodded her head.
"I know it is no one-carat diamond ring…"
"2.5 carats actually," Jean corrected with a giggle which Ororo matched.
"Fine 2.5 carats, but for him, it was just as big a deal and I took it the wrong way. No, I twisted it the wrong way, simply to fuel my jealousy and he knew it too."
"So, what are you gonna do about it, when Logan returns, I mean?"
"I do not know, I do not even know if there will be anything to do," Ororo commented as she sat up not. "After the way I treated him, I would not blame Logan if he never talked to me again."
"Oh, I have a feeling he'll want to talk to you," Jean said as she reached out the lifted one of Logan's dog tags, which were once again around Ororo's neck.
"No, no, no," She said over and over as she flipped the box about, rereading the instructions. This was the fourth box she had gone through and like the three before it; it gave her a result she was not happy with. "I have to be doing this wrong, I definitely need help, but who…" A smile lit her face as the only logical person popped into her head.
"Ya want me ta do what?" Rogue said a bit loudly.
"Please Rogue, I do not wish for the entire school to know."
"Well, if'n yer right they're gonna know sooner or later."
"Well, I would prefer later, if ever," Ororo said as she pulled Rogue with her up the stairs.
"What do ya mean, 'if ever'? Yer not thinkin…"
"First, I just want to know for sure. Will you help me please?"
"Of course, I'll help ya sugah," Rogue said and Ororo gave her a quick hug as they now raced up to the attic loft.
"I thought you would know how to do this right," Ororo said as she now lay across her bed on her back with her arm thrown across her face in frustration.
"Ah'm no expert, but it don't take a rocket scientist to figa it out, ya just pee on a stick and get a blessin or a curse, and from tha way yer actin ah'm guessin this is a curse," Ororo simply groaned. "So, who's tha daddy?" Rogue inquired as Ororo now pouted at her.
"You have to swear to God, you shall not tell anyone."
"I swear, cross my heart," Rogue promised.
"Logan! Yer back,"
"Hey kid," Logan replied as he smirked at Rogue as he dropped his duffle bag on the floor beside him.
"So did ya find what ya were looking fer in Japan?" She questioned.
"Nothing but a lot of dead ends," He said as he looked about seeking out a certain white-haired Goddess. "So where is everyone?"
"Ahh, around. It's been pretty dead since ya've been gone," Rogue said and Logan simply nodded as his eyes continued to roam about.
"Is Ro around?"
"Ro? Ahhh… Ah haven't seen her today…well earlier in class…yeah," Rogue answered nervously which instantly put Logan on alert.
"She's all right, ain't she?"
"Last time ah saw her, yeah she looked fine…same as before you left, nothing's changed, nope nothing at all. Well, ah gotta go meet Bobby, welcome home and ah'll talk wit ya later," Rogue hurried off before Logan could question her anymore, and Logan watched her go, knowing something wasn't right with her and it had everything to do with Ororo. He grabbed up his bag and bounded up the stairs, taking two at a time.
"Sweetie he's bound to find out, you have to tell him," Jean spoke as she sat on the side of Ororo's bathtub, watching over her friend.
"No Jean," She said in a near gasp. "I Can…ahahhhgggghhh," She spoke and then put her head back down over the toilet spewing the rest of her breakfast there.
"He's bound to figure it out, you're already eight weeks along and you'll be showing very soon," Jean stated trying to be the voice of reason.
"No," Ororo said as she sat back taking deep breaths. "Logan is just not the type that will be thrilled about becoming a father, he is a loner and he likes to come and go as he pleases, I do not want him to feel obligated to stay because of this baby."
"God Ro, listen to yourself, you talk as if this baby is some kind of disability, it's a blessing and Logan has every right to be told and to decide for himself if he's ready to be a father or not. And not to tell him would be wrong on your part Ro. Besides how would you hide it?"
"I do not know yet, but I figure I have a few months yet to decide. Logan's halfway around the world and this baby could be born before he even returns," At that moment a firm knock came at the door.
"Ro?" Logan's hard voice called through the door and both women's eyes grew large.
"Goddess!" Ororo whispered.
"Ro, ya in here?" Logan called out as he popped his head in the door and then scanned the room until his eyes fell on Jean, who he could see sitting on the side of the bathtub, through the open bathroom door. "Hello Jean," He greeted with a bright smile, happy to see her better. "You look good," He said now entering the room, as Jean stood and moved to the doorway of the bathroom, hoping to block a wide-eyed Ororo who was still perched over the toilet, praying she didn't vomit again.
"Hello Logan, welcome home," Jean said now coming out of the bathroom and shutting the door behind her, which caused Logan's brow to bunch. "Ororo's in there, using it," She answered the question she saw in his mind.
"And ya decided ta watch?" He asked with a chuckle and Jean opened her mouth but found no answer. "Yeah, I know, ya girl always go ta the bathroom in groups, I just never could figure out why," Jean giggled as she moved in and gave Logan a hug.
"It is nice to have you home," She said as she remained in his embrace not knowing that Ororo had emerged from the bathroom and stood in the doorway, watching them with jealous eyes. Logan sensed her and instinctively looked up and met her gaze, and a smile tugged at his lips, as he looked her over, shamelessly and hungrily raking his eyes over her body.
"Glad someone missed me," He said as he released Jean never taking his eyes from Ororo's. He sensed that there was something different about her, but couldn't place what it was. Jean looked from Logan to Ororo and felt the tension.
"Well, I have to-"
"No, you do not!" Ororo said quickly cutting off Jean's words and gaining a smile from Jean.
"Yes, Scott is expecting me," Jean said as she moved to the door, she then turned back and mouthed to Ororo 'I'll see you later.' Then she left. The remaining two stood, simply staring at each other for what seemed to both like ages.
"You look good." Logan finally said.
"You look…unshaved," Ororo said commenting on Logan's scruffy face, he smiled warmly as he lifted his hand and raked over his stubble-covered face.
"Yeah," He replied and Ororo giggled at him. "I've missed ya," He said with all seriousness, which shone through his eyes. "Wanted ta call ya, write, but I didn't think ya'd accept anything from me after…"
"Iampregnant," Ororo hurriedly exclaimed.
"Well say something," Ororo said from her spot in the bathroom doorway, as she nibbled at her bottom lip. Logan who now sat on the foot of her bed, with his eyes locked to the floor was lost deep in his own thoughts. "But please do not ask me if it is yours, because so help me…"
"I'm gonna be a dad," He said more as a statement than a question. Ororo regarded him for a second.
"Yes. I still do not know what I am going to do, I mean I only have a couple of weeks left if I decide to…" Logan's eyes shot up and glared at her so hard that she paused her statement.
"Ta what?" He asked his eyes growing cold and Ororo swallowed the sudden lump in her throat.
"I do not know I have not decided yet," She said as she turned and moved to her vanity, trying to busy herself and to avoid his gaze.
"Yer thinking about getting rid of it?" Logan asked and his voice caused Ororo to jump, for he was now standing right behind her. When she didn't reply Logan grasped her arm and forcefully turned her to face him. "Ya are aren't ya?"
"I do not know, Logan," She said pulling her arm from his hand. "Would that not be better?"
"Better than what?"
"Better than you being tied down with a child you do not want, me resenting you for it, and this child feeling it all."
"When did I say I didn't want it?" His question stunned Ororo, who had assumed from the moment she learned of her condition that Logan would want nothing to do with their child. "What do ya know about me that would make ya think I'm the kind of bastard that would desert my own kid?" Ororo couldn't answer but simply dropped her head in shame. "I admit I never thought I'd have children, never thought I wanted any, but this kid is here, and it may not have been planned, but that doesn't mean it ain't wanted."
"And what about what I want?" Ororo asked.
"So, you don't want it?"
"I do not know. Goddess, Logan we 'technically' are not even in a relationship, and personally I always thought I would have children with my husband, you know, the man that I love."
"I am the man that you love," Logan said as he sent her a serious look, waiting for her to protest, both knowing she would be lying if she did. "And if getting married would make ya feel better then fine," He said folding his arms across his chest.
"What?" Ororo wasn't sure she had heard him right. "Logan was that a proposal?"
"Yeah, it was."
"Goddess that had to be the lamest most pathetic marriage proposal known to man," She said rolling her eyes as she walked around him and moved to her bed, plopping down on it. "Where are the flowers, music, the ring," Her breath caught in her chest as she now looked at Logan who was holding out what looked to be a very expensive diamond engagement ring. He chuckled at the expression of disbelief and utter surprise on her face as she gawked at the ring with her mouth open.
"Picked it up in Tokyo a month back saw it and thought of ya. It looks like it’s sky blue, just like your eyes."
"Oh Logan," Ororo said in a near whisper not able to take her eyes from the ring, which Logan still held out to her. "Wait, how did you know my eyes are blue?" She asked in all seriousness.
"You take out yer brown contacts before bed, I've seen ya, watched ya through yer patio doors."
"I did not know you were a voyeur, Logan." She said jokingly.
"Don't change the subject darlin, ya ain't answered my question."
