El Visitante
Ororo yawned, opening her eyes and stretching lazily. The sun beamed warmly on her face. She could hear the shower running, and she smiled to herself. She hugged one of her pillows to her body, as she thought about the night before. Joaquín made her feel amazing, and she had almost missed out on it because she almost chickened out.
She’d been the one who initiated the act, the aggressive one, but by the time he had her stripped completely of everything, she’d started to have her misgivings about having sex with him. Her boldness gave way to shyness, and for a moment, she felt like jumping up from the bed and locking herself in the bathroom.
She’d been afraid that she was making a mistake with him. It wouldn’t be the first time she made this sort of mistake. What if it she came out of it disappointed? What if she disappointed him in some way? What if she was just using him to get over Logan? What if they were just making one big mistake, period? A million different thoughts had run through her head, and she hadn’t been able to find the words she needed to say to convey those feelings to him. And she was glad.
He sensed when she started closing up on him because he took it slower with her. He took the route of slow seduction, kissing her fingertips, massaging the soles of her feet, allowing her to dictate his actions. He was so patient, so gentle. Never demanding, always asking. If she didn’t want it, he didn’t want it. It was so sweet she thought she might cry. It was different from being with Logan, who was always in control of what happened between them, but wasn’t it she who gave Logan that control?
The sound of knocking brought her out of her thoughts, and she stood from the bed, pulling on her robe. She hastily combed her fingers through her hair. She took her own precious time going downstairs to answer the door. For once, the world could wait for her. When she opened the door, a broad smile covered her face.
“Yukio! What are you doing here?” Ororo asked, pulling the other woman into a hug. She thought Yukio was in Australia somewhere doing goddess knows what.
Yukio’s life was one big adventure. She was always off somewhere doing something wild. She was determined to see everything life had to offer. When Ororo was younger, before she married, sometimes she would let Yukio talk her into doing the craziest things. Maybe, if she’d been a little smarter, she would’ve taken Yukio’s advice and never married Bishop.
“I wanted to see how you were doing. It’s been so long since we spent any time together.” Yukio said.
She was right. They had seen each other in what seemed like ages. They spoke regularly and exchanged letters. Ororo was always getting a letter from Yukio from somewhere exotic. It didn’t surprise her one bit that Yukio had just popped up. Yukio always showed up when she was least expected, but Ororo always welcomed her. It was always a treat to see Yukio. You just knew something spontaneous was about to happen when she showed up.
“Come in! Come in!” Ororo said. She ushered Yukio into the house, closing the door behind her. Soft footsteps padding down the stairs caught the women’s attention. Both turned to look at Joaquín, as he came walking down the stairs. A dark blue towel clung haphazardly to his waist. Yukio cut her eyes Ororo’s way, a small smile starting to form on her lips. Ororo already knew what Yukio was thinking, and well, she was half right. He walked over to Ororo and kissed her lightly on the lips.
“Yukio, this is Joaquín. Joaquín, my friend Yukio.” Ororo said.
“Buenos días,” he said, kissing Yukio’s hand. He winked at her and made his way to the kitchen. Yukio’s hand stayed suspended in midair for a moment, as she looked after Joaquín. Then, she started to go in the kitchen after him until Ororo grabbed her arm.
“Hands off, Yukio.” Ororo said. Yukio gave her a fake pout, and Ororo couldn’t help giggling just a little. She felt eighteen again.
“I guess I don’t have to ask what you were doing last night.” Yukio said laughing. “You get rid of Bish and upgrade to walking sex. I like your style. Is that the next Mr. Munroe?”
Ororo rolled her eyes, slapping Yukio on the arm playfully. She wasn’t even thinking about getting married again. Been there, done that, she said to herself. She just wanted to be with someone who wanted to be with her. She wouldn’t say that she would never get married again, though. You never knew where fate would take you.
She led Yukio into the living room. Yukio immediately plopped down in the couch, sprawling her limbs in every direction possible. Ororo took a seat in the chair closest to the couch that Yukio lounged in. “When did you get into town?” Ororo asked.
“Last night.”
“Did you try to call?” Ororo remembered the call from the night before. She hoped that it hadn’t been Yukio trying to get in contact with her, but she didn’t think so. Yukio was always upfront, and Ororo knew that if it had been Yukio who called last night she would already know.
“No, I was going to, but it was so late. Looks like I wouldn’t have gotten an answer, anyway.” Yukio said with a snicker. “You should call Jean up and we should go do something.”
Ororo had been dreading those words, but she knew they were coming. Jean wasn’t as close to Yukio as she was, but they liked each other well enough. It had taken some time for the two of them to come to terms with one another. Their opinions differed greatly, and at first, they had a hard time accepting one another. Ororo, on the other hand, had always appreciated having the different views of the same problem.
“Well...” Ororo said, turning her eyes away from Yukio. “Jean and I aren’t really on speaking terms right now, so it’ll just be the two of us.”
“What? I don’t think I heard you right. Did you say that you and Jean were not speaking to each other?” Yukio asked incredulously, sitting up in the couch. Ororo felt her face burning, as she thought back to the brief conversation she had with Jean.
“You heard right.”
“I don’t believe it. You and Jean are practically inseperable. I’ve never even seen the two of you argue about anything. What happened?”
“It’s a long story.”
“Good for us I have a little time on my hands.” Yukio said. She kicked off her shoes and slipped her feet under her. “Get that cute man-slave to bring us some coffee or something. Make sure he wears that towel.”
“Joaquín will be leaving for work in a little while. I’ll shower and dress after he leaves. Then, I’ll tell you everything you’ve missed over breakfast.” Ororo promised.
“Sounds like a date.”
Ororo showered shower slowly after Joaquín left, letting the hot water run over her body as she contemplated what she would tell Yukio. She knew by telling Yukio everything that happened, she would provide a new perspective on the situation. She knew she could count on Yukio to be honest with her, even if she didn’t want to hear the truth. But that was the thing, she didn’t know if she wanted to hear what needed to be said. She would feel better believing her version of the truth.
She let Yukio pick the restaurant, and as always, Yukio didn’t disappoint her. Yukio’s idea of food came covered in grease and saturated in fat. Yukio always picked the places that had character and a signed picture of Tom Jones hanging on the wall. Ororo ordered a waffle and a cup of coffee. She didn’t really have much of an appetite, and she was sure she wouldn’t be hungry at all once she started talking about Jean, Logan, and everything.
Ororo made Yukio promise to keep her thoughts to herself until after she finished telling her everything. She wanted to get it all out like she did with Joaquín, and she wanted to get it all out without interruption. She concentrated on picking at her waffle while she told Yukio the story. She didn’t want to look at her. Yukio always wore her thoughts on her face, and Ororo didn’t want to know what she was thinking just yet.
When she finished, Yukio went into her expected tirade. She told Ororo she should’ve kicked Logan’s butt for treating her like an object instead of a woman, she should’ve told “prissy Ms. Jean” off for being a hypocrite. “But most importantly, Ororo, if he’s who you truly want to be with, then you should be with him.” Yukio said finishing off her tirade with a sympathetic smile.
“Didn’t you hear a word I said about him?” Ororo asked.
“I heard everything, but you admitted from your own mouth that he was trying hard to make things right. And from what I’m hearing from you, that’s really what you want from him. You’re just too stubborn to take a chance.”
“I just don’t want to be hurt anymore, Yukio.” Ororo sighed.
Logan hastily made a drink for a customer and sent him on his way. He needed a break, but he worried that if he stopped working for one moment he just might lose it. He knew he wasn’t being very agreeable with the customers. He’d snapped at quite a few of them, and he hadn’t been at work for more than an hour. He just wasn’t feeling his best at that moment, and when he wasn’t feeling great, everyone paid for it.
He rubbed his eyes roughly, trying to soothe the burning sensation in them. He hadn’t slept at all the night before. After Jean left, he drowned his sorrows in more beer. He drank until he couldn’t see straight, then he drank some more. He was still trying to digest those few words that Jean told him the night before.
He couldn’t believe the calm, offhand way she’d told him her plan. It was as if she were telling him that she planned to buy a new dress. Did she even stop to think about the consequences of her actions? Yeah, he knew she was desperate to keep Scott from finding out the truth, but there were other feelings to consider aside from her own, feelings that were more important that her need to prove to Scott that she’s a virtuous wife.
He wasn’t just talking about his own feelings. He was angry enough to spit fire, but he was smart enough to know that he wasn’t the only person who would suffer because of Jean’s decision. Wasn’t she just the least bit worried that Scott might not be the fool she wanted him to be? And even if Scott never found out, how could she live with herself knowing she was living that kind of deception? And just how was he going to be apart of a child’s life that would believe that Scott was his or her father? He thought that kind of stuff only happened on soap operas.
It made his head pound to think about, or maybe, he was still getting over the effects of all the alcohol he drank. Either way, none of this was right. It just didn’t make any sense. She couldn’t run from this thing. She couldn’t pretend like everything was right. She had to admit they made a mistake, and she had to be honest with Scott. No one could tell her what Scott might do. He may try to work things out with her. He may leave her to her own devices. But at least, she would have a clean slate, an honest restart.
Those were the things he should’ve said to her last night, but his mind was so clouded that he put her out rather than trying to talk some kind of sense into her. He hadn’t been able to think about anything, but what she’d said to him. It was for the best that he had made her leave, anyway. If she’d stayed, there’s no telling what would have happened. He needed the time to gather his thoughts, anyway. If she thought that he was just going to go along with her plans, she was sadly mistaken.
He felt a cool hand touch his tenderly, and he looked into the concern eyes of Ororo. She smiled at him sympathetically as if she already knew what was going on, and for one moment, things seemed a little better. Maybe, if he talked to her about it… Then, he shook his head and decided better of it. Maybe, she could provide him with insight, but they could never talk without something happening, whether it was good or bad. And he just didn’t need her games to complicate this shit any more.
It wasn’t fair to blame her for making things complicated. She hadn’t made things any more complicated than he had. He was probably the reason that everything was all wrong to begin with, but his heart warred with him, especially after the realization set in that she really didn’t want him and there was nothing he could do to change that. She made that quite clear the last time they talked, and after the botched call from the night before, he knew she was serious.
“Logan, are you okay?” she asked. He could hear genuine concern in her voice. Was he that obvious?
“Do I look okay?” he snapped at her. He hadn’t meant to use that tone with her, but he just couldn’t seem to help it. She was only trying to help. He realized from their recent talks that it was in her nature to try to help, but he wasn’t ready to repeat the things Jean said to him the night before. He had half a mind to…
“It was a stupid question to ask,” she said a little sheepishly, interrupting his thoughts. She moved her hand away from his, leaving only a void. “I was just being concerned, though. You looked as if you had a lot on your mind.”
More than you’ll ever know, he said to himself, but he didn’t need her concern. He’d handle this problem on his own. He wouldn’t want to give her any more reason to feel like she was burdening Jean. He snorted at the thought, but kept his thoughts to himself. She shifted her weight from foot to foot. She was obviously waiting for him to say something, but he had nothing to say.
“I’m not trying to pry. I am only trying to help,” she said. “Look, we’re walking around here acting like a couple of kids. I don’t want to fight with you, and I don’t want any ill feelings between us. Can’t we be friends? I mean… can’t we put all this behind us and start over?”
“Hell no,” he said, frowning at her. A person just couldn’t put something like this behind them and pretend it didn’t happen. He never understood how people could do something like that because you never forget. That’s why therapists were busy getting rich now because people wanted to “put it all behind them” instead of facing their problems. “We ain’t friends, and we can never be friends.”
The expression on her face after he said those words was enough to make him want to take them back. She looked like he just punched her in the stomach. Before he could apologize to her, she was already making her way back to the second floor bar. He was just making things better, but he hadn’t asked for that little speech. Still, he could’ve been a bit more considerate… he supposed.
What was so wrong about what she said to him? He didn’t want to act like it never happened, but if he couldn’t be with her, why had he refused her offer of friendship? Simple, it would hurt too much to see her with other guys. He already hated the fact that she was with old what’s-his-face, and he would just feel like his face was being rubbed in it if they were “friends.” Besides, he didn’t want to be her friend. He wanted to be more than that to her, but she was holding him at arm’s length.
What had she been thinking trying to talk to him? She’d let Yukio pump her head full of these ideas that she could make this work if she really wanted to and look what it got her. She hadn’t known what she was going to say to Logan. It was never her intentions to throw herself at his feet and plead for his forgiveness. She thought she would start slow, and see what happened. Things didn’t exactly turn out how she planned.
At first, she had no plans to talk to him. She would continue to act as if they lived in completely different worlds, but she thought about what Yukio said and decided that maybe Yukio was right. Yukio reminded her that everyone was hurt in life. Nothing was guaranteed, not even love. And she knew these things in her heart, but she couldn’t help the way she felt about it.
“Go get your man,” Yukio said earlier on the ride back to her house. Ororo only laughed at the time. It was nice thinking about going into things headfirst, but even though Yukio offered good advice at times, she still had to be cautious. She just wasn’t as brave as Yukio was.
Before work, she’d spent a little time thinking about how she would handle it all. Did she even really want to put herself through all this? And what about the way things were going with Joaquín? She was happy with Joaquín, and she didn’t know if she wanted to let go of that feeling yet. Maybe, she was just holding on to him because she felt secure with him. She didn’t have constant doubts in her head about Joaquín. She didn’t have a million different emotions ranging from hate to love where Joaquín was concerned. He didn’t make her feel like she was just some sexual object that didn’t harbor any emotions.
Then, she remembered how she felt that night with Logan, how protected he made her feel when held her close, and she couldn’t help smiling to herself. There was proof that he could make her feel secure. Then, she let her smile slide her from her face. It wasn’t meant to be. That was just some stolen moment between them, a “could have been”, if you will. When he snapped at her, he reminded her that they were just completely different.
He looked sad when she saw him like he needed someone to talk to, and they connected so well when they talked that she thought he might want to talk to her again. She knew what happened last time they talked, but they were in a crowded club. So, it had seemed safer than talking alone in her house. She just wanted him to know that she was there for him, but it seemed like he decided that he didn’t care one way or another if she was or not. And her feelings were more than a little hurt after their brief exchange, but that’s just the way things were.
She thought they might try to overcome whatever feelings they had for one another and be friends. Friends, ha! What a joke. She should’ve known better than to try that. The “let’s-be-friends” speech was by far one of the most self-serving things ever invented. The person who was giving the speech was given a false sense that they were doing something “good” while the person who was receiving the speech couldn’t believe the other’s audacity. And she had fallen into the hype. Goddess, what was she thinking?
He was so right when he said they couldn’t be friends. They never started their relationship as friends, so why in the world would they want to be friends now? She just thought it would be better for the both of them if they tried to move beyond everything that’s happened between them. Maybe, she wasn’t really disappointed by his answer. Maybe, it was just the tone he took with her. Because truthfully, she didn’t want to be his friend either.
She wanted something more.
Author’s Notes: What’s this? An update! Sorry much didn’t happen. This was just one of those necessary gateway chapters for what’s going to happen next. I may be able to bang out another chapter in a couple of days since, but don’t hold your breath. If not, I’ll be going home soon, well soon enough, and updates will be forthcoming then. Promise. I may have a couple of one-shots to appease you, but don't count on that either. Please excuse any glaring mistakes. I really just skimmed this. -t
