Chapter Five
The Complication
Click. Click.
She clenched her teeth tightly together, trying to drown out the metallic noise that pierced the darkness like an arrow pierced the heart. She hated that sound, not just because she hated the twangy sound of metal against metal. No, that sound struck a much deeper chord inside her. That was the sound that signaled her loss of freedom.
Click. Click.
That sound indicated the end of her sovereignty over her body. Her body was no longer hers to control; she now belonged to him, wholly. She jerked her wrists against her restraints, as if she could somehow miraculously free herself, and was rewarded with the sting of the handcuffs biting into her wrists. Why couldn’t he buy those fake handcuffs that one could easily take off? She let out a frustrated sigh.
He was playing that same old game again, chaining her to the bed, leaving her there to bathe in her familiar, conflicting emotions. There was no chase this time, no hunter versus prey. He had seemed somewhat meek, a word she wouldn’t usually associate with him, when he came to her this time, but that quickly changed. She couldn’t believe she had let him subject her to this again.
When he arrived, she had thought things were…different. No, something was different. She had felt it like a sixth sense. She had been sitting in her living thoroughly engrossed in a book. She hadn’t even heard him when he entered, and that was probably what he wanted. She had felt the sensation of eyes on her, the fine hairs on her neck prickled in warning. She turned toward the door to find him leaning in the doorway. There were no words of greeting”there never were”just as there were no goodbyes between them.
She had stared at him with one catechistic eyebrow raised, standing slowly from her seat on the couch. She could tell at that instance that something was different. She didn’t know how to describe it any other way. He walked toward her determinedly, wrapping his arms around tight, looking her in the eyes. Their lips met in an overpowering kiss that threatened to take her breath away. There was something almost endearing about this kiss, something that had never been there before.
Then, she felt her back pressing against the wall. She didn’t even realize they had moved. She didn’t get a chance to think about it as his mouth explored the soft flesh of her throat, his five-o’clock shadow scratching her. Her body betrayed her, arching toward him, asking for more. “You don’t need him.” He muttered into her throat, his lips tickling her. She didn’t need who? Joaquín? Was that who he was referring to? “Promise me…” He trailed off.
Promise him what? Suddenly, she was drowning in the new emotions that were filling the room. She couldn’t breath. She slipped away from him, making some excuse about needing to go somewhere, anywhere, he wasn’t. She walked into the kitchen and poured herself a glass of water, trying to calm her raging libido and her raging heart. When she went back to the living room, he wasn’t there. The bedroom. She knew that’s where he was because that’s where most of their business took place.
She walked up the stairs and cautiously into her room. He pulled her into his arms again, crushing his lips against her. This kiss was greedy and frantic, nothing like the kiss from before. Those emotions from earlier were no longer there. They were longed replace by lust and want. He was already gripping the material of the button-up shirt that fell to her knees, the only thing covering her bra and panty clad body. He pulled the fabric away from her body, buttons giving to his tugs with a soft pop in the process.
Various articles of clothing flew across the room with little notice from their owners. She hadn’t been paying too much attention when he led her to the bed. It was hard to concentrate on what was going on around you when you’re were getting pretty hot and heavy with someone. Maybe, she would have noticed the handcuffs if she had been a little more aware of what was going on around her. If she had noticed them, maybe, she wouldn’t have cared anyway. No, she would have cared, but she wouldn’t have protested.
Now, she found herself chained to her own bed again “ chained in many ways than just by the physical implication. This has got to end. She said to herself. She could not keep up with the emotional baggage she was acquiring from this relationship. She jiggled the handcuffs against the bedpost, wanting the deafening silence to cease. There was no music this time, not even Janet to keep her company with her notions of love. The bed shifted as he climbed in beside her, but he didn’t touch her. She closed her eyes.
How could she let this happen again? How could she willingly give in to this?
She was two people living in the same body. She had to be. She couldn’t make sense of what was going on if she believed otherwise. It was like in the daytime, or whenever she wasn’t around Logan, she was Ororo Munroe “ calm, judicious, constant. At night, or whenever Logan was around, she was ‘Ro “ carnal, submissive, insatiable. That’s what she would choose to believe. Two very different women inhabited her body, fighting for control. Why else would she continue to allow him to come to her still?
Even after their brief disagreement, if you could even call it a disagreement, at the club, he still came to her, and she didn’t turn him away. It was as if it had never happened. They didn’t mention the incident at the club. Though, she wanted to say something to him about Jean. She hated herself for doubting Jean, but, at the same time, part of her did want to know. If he was sleeping with Jean, then why he was sleeping with her as well? Was it because she was available and willing? Just letting that thought cross her mind made her feel like a whore.
Their lovemaking”no, their fucking”was feverish. She watched his eyes slide over her body. She felt her face warm and a hint of shyness crept through her body. It didn’t matter how many times a person saw you naked; there was something about the way that a person could look at you that could always make it feel like they were seeing you for the first time. That’s how she felt right now, as if he was looking at her for the first time.
His tongue touched her first “ just his tongue, nothing else. She felt a gentle bite on her stomach. He moved upward leaving behind a trail of moist, hot skin as his tongue roamed her body. She can already feel the first wave of pleasurable chills consuming her body. His teeth grazed her skin, his fingers sank into her flesh, his tongue tasted her treasure. No part of her body went unexplored from his ardent fingers and torrid tongue.
She lifted her hips toward him, inviting him to enter her temple. They molded together, perfect for just that moment. They were no longer Ororo and Logan. They were just man and woman in perfect harmony. Nothing else mattered.
The sound of bedsprings and moaning filled the room as he held tightly to her. Her arms strained against her bonds sending a delicious throb through her wrist that mixed with her mounting pleasure as she met his every thrust “ wanting it harder, faster, deeper. He was sending her spiraling toward a violent orgasm. This was her agony and her ecstasy. Oh Goddess, she didn’t want this, but she knew that wasn’t true. She lived for this moment. Everything about this moment was perfect. And all that mattered was this moment.
When they were both sedated, basking in the afterglow of being together, she wondered how one man could make her go through so many ranges of emotion “ in so little time. The thought bemused her. She didn’t look at him when he uncuffed her. She always avoided his gaze these days, not just because of the regret, but because every time she looked at him, she saw her transgression.
She made a beeline to her bathroom, her new escape route. She filled her tub to the brim and slipped into a relaxing bath. The warm water soothed her aching wrists and calmed the throbbing between her legs. She wished she could have had candles lit around the tub, music playing lightly as she soaked, and a glass of champagne “ a glass of Krug Rosé preferably. She would have to remember go all out and splurge on a bottle or two when she finally sold that house. It would be her going away present to herself.
She sat in the tub until the water cooled and her eyes threatened to close. She wrapped herself in a thick robe, humming to herself as she opened the door. She was surprised to find him still there when she exited the bathroom. He was fully clothed, now, and he looked completely unruffled as he leaned against the bed. She clutched her robe tighter to her body. She stood in her spot, fidgeting for a moment, unsure of what to say or do next.
He didn’t appear to be preparing, and she was starting to feel increasingly uncomfortable. She hoped he didn’t want to talk or anything. What could they have to talk about, anyway? She wasn’t even sure if they even had anything in common besides sex. She certainly didn’t want to talk about the meaning behind those confessions from earlier. She just wanted to curl under her blankets and fall into a peaceful sleep. “What’s wrong?” She asked before she could stop the words from coming.
She automatically assumed that something was wrong since he hadn’t left. It was pretty much an unspoken agreement that he left after the sex. It was just much easier that way. “Nothin’,” he said. Then, why are you still here? She wanted to ask, but she just looked at him, waiting for him to say something more. “About what I said earlier…” his voice trailed. He raked his hands sheepishly through his hair.
She started to panic inwardly, thinking of something to say before he went on. She didn’t want to discuss what was said. She wanted to think about it alone, and then discuss it with him later… maybe. “Let’s not discuss that. What you said earlier was uttered in a moment of passion,” she almost snorted when she said the word passion.
She didn’t know why she wouldn’t let him explain at that moment. It wasn’t that she wasn’t curious as to why he had said it; she just didn’t want to hear it. Maybe, she was afraid of what he was going to say. She had worked so hard on convincing herself that this was just a relationship based on sex that she feared he would tell or something different. Or worse, he would verify her thoughts, and then, she would feel like she’s sunk to an all new low.
“Tell me something,” she said, not pausing to allow him to answer her. She wasn’t going to give him the opportunity to brush her concerns aside. “I know this may sound silly, but is there something going on between you and Jean?”
“You been listenin’ to Yuriko’s shit, ain’t ya?” He countered. It didn’t sound like an accusation. In fact, she thought she heard amusement in his timbre. He made her feel kind of silly. Who really listened to Yuriko? Yuriko talked all the time. It was what she lived for; that didn’t mean it was true. But Ororo wasn’t going to let him feel like he had one-upped her.
“I didn’t say Yuriko said anything.” Ororo said indignantly. She felt like a child disputing a rumor she heard in the hallway of school. She also noted that he didn’t answer her question. She hated when people answered her questions with another question. She believed that meant they were hiding something.
“You ain’t gotta say it for me to know.”
She concentrated on a spot on the carpet. “Who said she was the only one who said anything?” Ororo ventured, looking up slowly for some sort of reaction. She saw him clench his jaw, and then relax it again.
“Creed…” The word came out a guttural, dangerous growl. Ororo thought if Victor had been there right at that very moment, Logan would have jumped all over him.
“I didn’t say“”
“Look,” he said, cutting her off, “there ain’t many of us working in that place. And there ain’t many of us in that place who don’t know how to keep our mouth shut, so it don’t take a lot of second guessing to know that Yuriko and Creed said somethin’. You ain’t gotta protect them.”
“I’m not protecting anyone. I just want to avoid any pointless confrontation.” She mumbled.
“Then, why did you even bring it up?” He asked.
She imagined herself saying something biting and indifferent to his statement. Something that would make him realize that she didn’t care for that offhand attitude he had when it came to everything. This was a serious matter. Was he fucking her best friend over like he was fucking her over? However, she didn’t respond with a caustic reply. Instead, she tried to probe calmly, hoping that he would answer.
“This isn’t exactly a comfortable situation. If you and Jean…” If him and Jean, what? If he and Jean were fucking, it was over? There was never anything to begin with. There is no us. There is no we. So, how can something that never was end? She asked herself bitterly. Still, she didn’t even want to think about him and Jean. “I don’t want to get into the technicalities of the situation. I just wanted a simple yes or no.”
He shrugged, looking blasé, unaffected by her terse statement. “Why not ask her?” Why was he asking most of the questions? She was the one who was supposed to be questioning him, and yet, he was the one asking all the questions. Still, Ororo thought about that question for a second. There were many answers to that question. She didn’t want to hurt Jean if it wasn’t true.
She couldn’t begin to imagine how Jean would feel if she knew her employees thought she, a married woman, was having an affair with Logan. She didn’t want Jean to know that she listened to such petty hearsay. But above all, Ororo feared that her friend would confirm the rumor, that she would say that she was having an affair with Logan. And Ororo didn’t know how she would handle that. She would rather hear it from his mouth, rather than Jean’s. It would hurt a lot less if she heard him say it.
She couldn’t come up with a way to express that to him, and honestly, she didn’t want to. “I think this conversation is over.” She said, trying to sound resolute.
“It should have never started.” He shrugged with that same don’t care attitude.
Fuck you was what she was thinking. “Yeah, you’re probably right,” was what she responded with. Then, she kicked herself mentally for not being more assertive. She wasn’t the type of person that would let people walk all over her, but she just couldn’t bring herself to argue with him.
So what if he was sleeping with Jean. She shouldn’t be the one to worry about it. Jean would have to answer to the consequence of her own actions if that’s what was going on. The only reason she wanted to know was because she didn’t think it was right and… and… she was lying to herself. She knew that she would feel hurt and betrayed, even though Jean didn’t know about her and Logan. And my Goddess, she thought to herself, what if they had been seeing each other all along and she was sort of the other woman?
She could feel herself getting sick at the thought. She felt an invisible hand clutch her throat and she tried to calm down. What had she gotten herself into? And furthermore, was it too late to get out of it? Why had she been so blind? Why didn’t she see that he had a thing for her friend? “I need to get some rest. I have some things I have to do early tomorrow. You know your way out.” She said curtly. She did have things to do. She had to go see her realtor for one.
She couldn’t have been more relieved when he left. She had the feeling that things were getting a little more complicated, now. There were so many factors being thrown into the equation, now. Or maybe, it was just her imagination working overtime. She hadn’t conjured up the possible affair between Logan and Jean. She had Yuriko to thank for that one. And she hadn’t imagined what he said earlier. She had heard him loud and clear. She was still trying to decipher what it meant. She knew what he literally meant, but she was trying to figure out what it meant for them “ if it meant anything at all for them.
*
Author’s notes: Sorry if this chapter seemed a little”okay, a lot”rushed. It was somewhat. I was going through a bad bout of writer’s block with this particular chapter, and I had some assignments that I had to complete for school. I’m not completely satisfied with this chapter, so I may rewrite this chapter. If I do, I’ll let you all know when I post the next chapter. And again, excuse any mistakes that may be present.
