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Author's Chapter Notes:
Message received Lis.
As always please don't sue me...I aint playin'
Slowly he made his way to the boathouse, each step feeling as though he was trying to walk through quicksand. His heart was still beating within his chest beyond it having a reason to. Air filled his lungs and escaped through his nostrils, even though he was suffocating.

--6 days earlier--

"Logan I know this is not an easy decision for you, but it is imperative that you are there. This could be the turning point in our fight for mutant rights. Trust me when I say, I know this is an extremely agonizing task that I am asking of you, and I do hate to have to do so my friend, but I must. The lives of mutants everywhere lay in the balance of your decision." Charles sat in his office, across from Logan doing his best to keep eye contact with the torn man.

Logan had heard every word Charles had spoken imploring him to journey to the nations capital to speak before the house on the atrocities he had suffered, which meant reliving all the hurt, humiliation and nightmares he tried so hard to forget. There was a time when all he had was hellish nightmares, now he had his full memory and most of it he wished he had never gotten back. Yet all he could think was that the professor was asking him to leave the one thing he now had that made his life worth living...Ororo. The world be damned it was just too soon to delve back into his past, in an open forum no less, when he had just found his future.

"Look Chuck, I know ya think those government assholes are ready to be objective when it comes ta us, but yer just foolin' yerself. This is nothing but the fuckers grandstanding that they have power ta do with us as they will. And I fer one aint ta keen on the idea of being a side show freak in their plaster circus, jumping through hoops fer governmental bullshit."

Charles breathed deep before exhaling on a long sigh. "Your testimony before congress can be the nail in the coffin for bigotry towards mutants, along with Jeans medical testimony concerning the inhumane treatment many have suffered as well as giving medical corroborating evidence to your statements. I myself will be the final word, after fighting long and hard to gain the respect of many of them, I can not help but be optimistic."

On and on Charles had made his argument for Logan's participation in offering his testimony, while Logan had balked at the true motives behind the open agenda for fair treatment for mutants being just a crock of shit hidden behind an olive branch.

Charles had argued the need for Wolverines presence with himself and Jean so convincingly, that finally with still much trepidation, Logan relented agreeing to leave that very evening. The blackbird departed the mansion with Charles and Jean and a very reluctant Wolverine aboard, just as the skies opened up to torrential rain, unaided by the saddened weather witch, who watched it go. Eerily the elements shadowed what the new couple felt at being parted so soon in their relationship.

--6 days later--

Mofo ran circles around his master, wagging his tail and panting, happy to have him home again.

Unlike his canine friend, Logan could not display the same happiness upon his return to the woman he had left behind. Their time apart had been fraught with everything he had been afraid of. It felt strange to think of the fearless Wolverine as being scared of something, but facing the house committee, all strangers, and confessing the past injustices to his person, was truly not something he had on the top of his to do list. The questions posed to him had been hard to answer, but the voluntary opening of his wounds was beyond traumatic. Outwardly no one had the slightest inkling of the distress he was enduring. Inwardly each word from his mouth was hard fought for. If ever he had wished for the shelter of Ororo's arms it was then.

Now all he could do was stand and watch her in the garden she had cultivated, as he entered the neat yard of the boathouse. Damn she was gorgeous. The most beautiful thing he had ever seen. His traitorous lungs still dared to take breath finally halted their intake at the sight of her kneeling in the dirt. What woman could look so beautiful with her hands in dirt and her clothing lightly soiled, with smudges of it on her arms and face. Ororo.

Running around his masters legs to his new mistress, Mofo trotted over to Storm, stamping upon the Sweet William, she so carefully tended.

"Mofo! What...by the goddess, what in the world boy...go. Go on, scoot. What has gotten into you to trample..." she stopped scolding the excited animal and turned her eyes to follow the path he now ran to his master.

"Logan!" She was on her feet in a flash, rushing to him.

He caught her as she leapt into his arms, circling her own around his neck as he held her legs around his waist. Her lips melded to his in what more than felt like a one sided kiss.

Damn!

Pulling away from her lovers mouth she leaned back to study his eyes, as the only word that had transpired between them escaped her lips again, "Logan?"

Her eyes sought his in question, at the lack of response to her happiness at his return home and the aloofness his entire being was screaming at her. Something was terribly wrong. Before he left he couldn't keep his hands off of her, or her him. Now it appeared he would rather be anywhere else but here with her.

Slowly he let her slide down his body to stand on her own feet. His eyes refused to meet hers, as he toed the gravel of the drive.

Unable to stand the obvious pain he must be feeling and wanting to take it away, she gently took his face between her hands and lifted his eyes to hers. "Logan my love, I am here. No matter what you are going through. I'm here for you and I'm not going anywhere."

Pain that she had never seen before was reflected in his eyes, as they looked upon her searching, beseeching, regretfully.

Words refused to utter from his mouth. His hand reached out to stroke her cheek. His arms encircled her in a vise like hug, threatening to weld his body to hers. A strangle choked sound emitted from his tortured soul, "Ro.", no more, no less.

Releasing his arms from what had become his life he sidled past her to walk up the front steps and into the house.

Ororo stood looking at the closed screen door taking shallow breaths.

Mofo sat whining at her side.

Whatever was wrong she would give him time. They had known what he had gone to do would not be easy and she could not press him.

----

Over a week had passed and still things between them were strained. The only communication they shared was concerning the work being done to the boathouse. Logan set to work with a new determination to see it completed, barely sleeping or eating.

Ororo was beyond perplexed. Three times she had almost went to Charles to find out if he knew what had caused Logan's introverted behavior, but she had to remain optimistic that he would come to her when he was ready.

At night her dreams were filled with visions of being wrapped in his brawny arms crying out in blissful release.

His dreams were once again constant nightmares, only not the type that haunted his night season as before.

'His arms were straining to reach the white haired goddess, who ran from his side. Green eyes, red hair and pale skin loomed over his shoulder, fingernails dripping blood from the streaks on his back. A tongue darted out to lick him from throat to ear. Hatred and bitterness covered its face as the figure mentally seized the retreating goddess, starting to scatter her molecules with a wave of her hand."

Logan abruptly sat up in bed calling aloud, "Ro..."

She was at his side before he could sense himself fully awake. "I'm here Logan." she cradle him, rocking with him trying to soothe his hurt.

He couldn't stand it any longer. His dam finally broke with the weight of it all.

As so many times before, his arms wrapped around her holding her for dear life. "I'm...sorry Ro. So goddamned sorry darlin...fer everything." His face was wet with his tears for the first time since he could remember.

"You don't need to feel sorry Logan...you are not to blame for what has been done to you." Her hands busily wiped his tear streaked face. "Never.."

His voice was a whisper as he interrupted her, "Please...darlin...don't"

"Logan I will not let you carry this pain you have shouldered so long by your..."

"Please darlin."

She opened her mouth to speak again, but squinted eyes began to study his face.

"I said don't Ro...

...I slept with jeannie."


Chapter End Notes:
Here's your chance to yell at me or forever hold your peace.



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