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Author's Chapter Notes:
Once again I know they aren't mine, but I do appreciate borrowing them, even though I have to give them back, so please don't sue.

Thank you to all of you who have continued to follow this fic. Some have said they had forgotten about it and for that I am sorry. I would love to be more faithful with updates to the end of this, so I say thank you to all you faithfuls, who continually read and review, it means more than you know.
If pain was to become a living breathing entity its name would be Ororo Munroe.

Four words, not the three she had longed to hear, had been her demise into the dark chasm of unrelenting torture. Without warrant they replayed over and over again in her mind, 'I slept with Jeannie'.

After hearing those debilitating words four nights ago, her days had been spent going through the motions of living. Who was she kidding, she was literally a zombie; the walking dead, with one major difference, she had the unwanted ability to acutely feel unbearable pain.

Somewhere she had no idea of how to escape from, her very soul had become imprisoned. But with all things in her life she managed to hide behind a facade of tolerable indifference. 'Just make it through another breath, another step, another robotic action to the end of another extended day to an even longer sleepless night was all she could accomplish.

Four days had now passed and if his adamantium covered heart would allow him to slice it into, he would. He had hurt her. Hurt her more than he ever dreamed he could. Dumb ass. He had forgotten the equation. He had let himself accept her into his fucked up life knowing it wouldn't last because of him.

He worked in the boathouse like a madman each day and roamed the surrounding woods at night, sleeping wherever his exhausted body would fall outside under the blanket of stars. He couldn't be near her. He couldn't bear the sound of her tearless strangled sobs coming from her bed. Still he couldn't run. That had been his m.o. for too long. At some point he had to face up to the damage his actions caused. He had just picked a helluva time to do so.

Ororo wouldn't even look at him. She spoke to him only when necessary and the sound of her voice was so detached he didn't even recognize it as her usual warm soul touching caress.

Damn!

What could he say, what could he do to make everythng right. Damn that trip to Washington and damn him for succumbing to Jean's challenge.

---Washington D.C.---

Logan stood staring out at the brilliant lights of the nations capital. For all the beauty of the evening his spirit was heavy with all of the weeks grueling testimony. Wounds he thought healed were opened fresh and raw. He needed Ororo. The professors request that contact with home be suspended to fully concentrate on their task at hand was just another tool tearing him apart. He needed to hear her sultry voice that was a balm to his soul. Yet he didn't want her subjected to the ugliness of his past abuses so even a phone call to her was too much to ask for, so he complied with Charles' wishes.

A light rapping sounded at his door.

Mechanically he made his legs carry him the distance across the room, knowing the subject on the other side before he opened it.

"Yeah."

"Logan do you mind if I come in? I'm having a...a really difficult time tonight...after," Jean stood stammering out the words she seemed to be grasping for.

The trip had proven hard on all three of them, so Logan could more than understand her plight at the moment. Just this afternoon the judicial medical board had all but crucified Jean during her testimony claiming it was fabricated and unfounded. Without his irrefutable proof of mutant experimentation and abuse the case could have been tossed out as a pack of lies.

"It's late Red, and I aint in a sociable mood..."

"I...I, understand it's just," her chin quivered and the tears started to flow.

Oh hell! Logan backed up and allowed her to enter his room.

Jean paused at the small sofa near the window, lightly wringing her hands together. Despite the appearance of tears on her cheeks, Logan got no smell of sadness or despondency from her, but there was an underlying hint of heightened pheromones. Great just what he didn't need, an unwanted, crocodile tear shedding, redhead in heat. His eyes took in her attire of just the hotel robe and slippers. She did smell as if she had doused herself in her favorite perfume, which he hated, causing his nose to crinkle from the effect. His normally keen instincts were dulled due to the events from the week and now he found himself drained and weakened mentally, emotionally and even physically.

The distance separating them proving too much for her intent, Jean seductively closed the space between them, all pretense of tears now gone, as she placed her hand on his shoulder.

"Logan, I don't think either of us need to be alone tonight. I know this isn't Vegas..., but what goes on here can stay here." she lulled.

"Not interested Jeannie." he said, trying to shoulder past her, but too late, she snagged his wrist and brought his hand to her breast.

He snatched it away.

"I remember a time when you would have given anything to hear me say words such as these. What's wrong Logan, has the mighty fallen or just been tamed,...Wolverine." she purred, purposely using his code name to help emasculate and dehumanize him.

Logan had been shamed and defeated with all the verbal prodding and probing from the committee, now here stood Jean challenging him with the last bit of his self worth. He had no doubt the heated bitch knew just what she was doing. But she had no idea of the danger whe was loosing with the buttons she was pushing.

"Ya need ta go Jeannie. Ya don't want ta fuck with me right now."

"Oh, but I do...want to fuck with you...right now, or are you too afraid you might enjoy it too much to ever go back to a lesser woman." She stepped back and let the robe fall to her feet, exposing her naked body to him. Slowly she slid her hands up and down herself, caressing places she longed for him to touch.

He growled and turned away from her, the desire to gut her for insulting Ororo as a lesser woman was overwhelming. But he didn't think Ro or the others would take too kindly to him doing so. He heard her footsteps and hoped against hope she had thought better of her decision to seduce him. Instead of her heading to the door she had moved to the bed.

"Get out Red. I don't need this shit on top of everything we've gone through."

"This is exactly what you need," she said, crawling backwards on the bed and slowly spreading her legs, while one hand cupped her pointed breast the middle finger of the other hand found it's way into her mouth.

"Fuck ya Jean!"

"I would love for you to...or have you been turned into too much of a coward to take what you want...when it is offered. One time, and maybe you can get me out of your system," her hand at her mouth slid down to cup her vagina, "show me Wolverine, prove to me that Scott isn't much more of a man than you are or will ever be...or are you all bark and no bite.

"Bitch!" he spat and was on her before she could blink.

"This what ya want Red," he panted, not able to see beyond his pain and embarrassment. Roughly he pullled her to a seated position on the edge of the bed, while he rubbed her face against his crotch.

"Yes," she cried, her hands reaching out to hold his backside in an embrace.

Anger mixed with the gamut of emotions he was experiencing, spurred him on. Releasing one side of her head he pulled the drawstring of his sweat pants loose, shoving them just below his cock.

He didn't have to work too hard, Jean snatched them down to his knees and greedily drew him into her mouth, slurping like someone eating an ice cream cone in the desert.

He wasn't making love to her, he didn't love her. There was no love involved, nor would he show her any mercy or thought to her own pleasure. She was just a bitch in heat at the moment, who dared him to be a man and show her he was worthy. Not just another filthy mutant, who didn't deserve to live.

None to gently he pulled her head back and forth on his swelling member, hearing her gag more and more as he hardened.

"This is gonna stay here hunh Red," he was bordering feral, "want ta know what it's like ta have me tween yer legs doing what one-eye can't. Then Fuck Ya Jeannie."

He threw her back on the bed, gathering her legs over his forearms and plunged himself into her balls deep.

"Oh god...yes!" Jean screamed, "fuck me...please Logan...now!"

"Names Wolverine, Red and I'll fuck ya and that's all ya'll get, but ya won't be fergetting it!"

Words were done. He pumped furiously into her, turning her every which way but loose. Hearing her screaming his name and code name over and over again as she reached climax at least three times and him not once.

Yes she was beautiful, but not more so than her. Her skin didn't feel or look like smooth butter, but was freckled, blotchy and in many places rose up in goose flesh. Her breasts were nice, but they were smaller and bottom heavy, nipples not centered but pointing high to her chin. Her waist was small, but not tiny flaring out to curvaceous hips. Nor was she so toned and defined. Her vagina was not tortuously tight, calling him home with each plunge, despite his amazing size.

Everything was off. Sight, smell, feeling and sound. Her moans, screams and dirty words were getting on his nerves.

Not once had he kissed her or touched her with affection.

This was just about meeting her dare and proving he was a man.

He was numb.

She was well pleased and euphoric. Never had she been fucked so long, good and hard. Already she had decided through her pleasure hazed mind, that she wasn't so sure this could be a one time thing for her.

The more he copulated with Jean the more he died inside himself, even more so than standing before the committee. With each stroke he realized too late that he had destroyed the one thing in his life that meant everything to him, his relationship with Ororo.

Angrily he pulled away from the sweating, panting x-woman face down on the mattress before him and stomped across the room to the bathroom, slamming the door shut. Like a caged animal he paced back and forth in the small room, agonizing growls of pain and frustration ripping from his throat. Finally stopping long enough to reach into the bath and turn on the shower. Nothing could wash away the guilt he now felt. Nothing could make the world right.

Jean hearing the growls of anguish coming from the bathroom, reluctantly gathered her discarded robe, ran her hands through her tangled hair and wiped actual tears from her face. He didn't want her. He like all the other men in her life, was hopelessly hung up on the goddess she didn't have a prayer of competing with. Any shred of respect she possessed from the male members of the mansion, she had turned to dust. Her jealousy to be considered over Ororo in their estimation had led her to succumbing to lust and being treated voluntarily like worst than a whore by the Wolverine.

She knew he wasn't to blame. She had taunted him in the worst way she could to get what she wanted, only to find herself the fool.

Any satisfaction she had felt during her debauched romp with him, she left in the room, as she crept away too ashamed to face the man trying to wash away the memory of her from his flesh, mind and soul in the other room.

---Present---

He knew he had to start somewhere, he had already paid the highest price of losing Ororo, maybe owning up to his own mistakes with the truth could be the start he needed on the road to becoming what she had believed him to be.

"Cyke, I need ta talk ta ya." his voice was unusually respectful to the younger man.

Scott's heart did a quick stuttering trip, not wanting to imagine what could have the normally surly Wolverine addressing him with such a civil tone. He turned away from the younger x-men training in the danger room below, as Logan stood in the doorway of the observation deck.

"Is it important Wolverine, or can it wait?"

"It's been too long already, I need ta talk ta ya now."

Scott's heart tripped twice. Standing sideways, while pressing an intercom button to the danger room Scott dismissed the you mutants early receiving a cheerful uproar for their release.

"Look Cyke, I know yer not gonna like what I have ta say, but ya have ta know if I could take ia all back I would. But yer Ro's brother and a decent mand and I owe ya the truth. Can't keep walking around ya and everyone else knowing I was wrong in trying ta come between ya and Jean fer so long. Truth is I never really felt fer her as much as everyone thought. Just didn't know how ta end the game and I liked knowing I was rattling yer cage."

Scott's heart had stopped tripping and now he was ready to flat line. an uneasy feeling started weighing heavily upon his chest. Somehow he knew he didn't want to hear where Logan was going with this conversation.

"Scott!" came Jean's frantic call from the shining steel hall outside the deck.

Logan looked out the door to see Jean, Charles and Hank approaching, apprehension written on all of their faces.

Charles neared with his eyes glued on the Wolverine, a question coming from his lips too quickly, "Might I have a word with you Logan, immediately?"

Logan glanced at Jean and knew at once she had been poking where she didn't belong and had called in the cavalry to intervene in the situation. How much she had revealed he just did not know, or really care.

"Not now Chuck, I'm busy."

Walking past Logan and entering the room, Jean rushed to Scott's side. "Scott do you think I could have a word with you...in private?" Her words almost a whisper, as she grasped one of his hands between both of hers.

"What's going on here, what is this all about?" Scott took in the small gathering of people around him, feeling the tension in the air about to choke them all. Jean?"

Red hair covered her beautiful face from his view as she hung her head down and nervously rubbed his knuckles with her thumbs.

Scott looked from Jean to Logan, seeing the unusual apology in the feral mutants eyes. Unwanted realization dawned, he sprang upon Logan fists pounding, spittle spraying, as he repeated over and over with each blow, "You Bastard!"

Charles waved Hank forward as soon as he saw Scott draw the understanding of the situation. But even Hank was having a hard time restraining the X-men leader, so great was his rage.

Logan had not once tried to defend himself, but had willingly taken every blow.

"Get off of me Hank, let me go, I'll kill him...I'll fucking kill him!"

"Scott, please..." Jeans timid plea caused him to turn his anger on her.

"You finally did it! You finally rutted with him like his whore you always acted to be didn't you!?" For the first time in years the group was seeing him completely unhinged.

Hating where their actions had broguth them and feeling remorse at his callous treatment of her during their indiscretion, Logan spoke up, "If ya want ta take it out on someone, here I am, it's my fault. I chased her from the start, not giving a shit about anything. Have at me till yer hearts content."

Charles hurt seeing what was transpiring with his X-men. "Please we know the gravity of the circumstance, but we can bring about an end to this conflict in a civil manner. There is..."

Scott snarled, "Save it professor they can both go to hell!" Pulling away from Hank, who released him with a nod from the professor, he stormed from the room.

"Was planning on handling this another way." Logan rumbled, already healed from Scott's blows.

Jean's head snapped up, her eyes blazing. Her passive demeanor gone with the anger she now felt, in her estimation was his betrayal in revealing their secret to Scott. She had said she wouldn't tell and was possibly keeping her options open for more with him. With the sheer power of thought, Logans heavy frame was tossed forcefully into the wall, deeply indenting the smooth steel.

"Enough!" yelled Charles.

"That's right take his side," Jean was now becoming irrational, "God knows if I were your precious Ororo, Logan would be a useless puppet by now."

The growl emanating from Logan was just ten seconds from his claws appearance.

"I said that will be quite enough!" repeated Charles.

"And what if he had killed you with an optic blast Logan, do you think he could have lived with himself after such a thing?" asked Charles, more than a little frustrated, "Have you still not learned the lesson of the consequences to your actions." He turned his head, his piercing blue eyes now hardened on Jean, a telling act that he understood her part in all of this as the culpable culprit.

Hank walked over to a now shamefaced Jean, who was silently crying, and cradled her in his powerful arms. An act she by no means misconstrued as his pardoning her actions.

Logan opened his mind up to Jean just long enough for her to get his quiet message meant for her and her alone, 'I died the moment I accepted the challenge ta fuck ya and ya sentenced me ta death the moment ya decided ta cloud my mind ta Storm and have me sniffing after ya as though no one else existed, especially not her.'

Message received by Jean who now broke down uncontrollably. How did he know!?

Charles and Logan looked to one another with eyes full of understanding. Charles' held more than a hint of sadness.

Logan too exited, his shoulders lighter than they had been for a while. Never once did he look back.
















Chapter End Notes:
Please keep me motivated if you have to Scream, Shout, Holler, Rant or Rave to let me know what you think or feel. Just don't be too brutal, cause I do LOVE ROLO. Angel A :)



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