|Present day|
So here I lie, flat on my back, my mouth and nose bleeding and my body wracked with pain. For a moment I forget what happened to me that got me to this point, who has done this to me, but the stinch coming from his body, and his hot foul breath reminds me.
"So ya ready yet, Bitch?" His gruff voice fills my ears and I turn away only to have my head painfully yanked back, by his fistful of my hair. Was I ready? For what, to be humiliated, beaten, raped, possibly killed. Why not, that's what has occurred, what I have allowed for so long now. Why should this situation be any different, why should he be any different then all the other 'men' in my life. So I face him dead on, stared into his icy glare.
"Whatever." I spit out and I can tell it's not what he had expected to hear me say, nor wanted me to say. No he wants me to cry, scream, beg him not to hurt me, why should I. I never did with Bishop, nor with Logan. I allowed them both to treat me as they wanted, thinking they cared, believing their lies of 'I love you' and 'I'd never hurt you'. Why should I start caring now, I brought this on myself all of it. And here I lie readying to receive what I now know I deserve, what I was meant for, the only thing I am good for. Goddess, how is it that I came to be this 'thing' that I am?
|8 months ago|
"It's not you, it's me." He said as he moved about the room grabbing things from the dresser drawers and closet, and then throwing them inside his open bag. "I meant to tell you before now, last night..."
"Last night?" She repeated now looking at him. "When, before, after or during our lovemaking?" He stopped at her words and turned to her.
"That was your provoking, RoRo,"
"Provoking?" She laughed a little at this word. "I see, I provoked you into making love to me, you the man I love, am engaged to, have been with since I was fifteen."
"Yes, and haven't you ever wondered what your life would be like if you had not been with me so long?"
"Yes, and I don't like to think about it, but it's obvious you have thought on it and have decided your life would be better." She said bowing her head a bit, trying to will back the tears wanting to fall.
"RoRo," He moved to her and kneeled at her feet. "This has nothing to do with you, I love you, I do, but I need to be free...of this place, the responsibilities it entails, free of 'this' life..."
"And free of me?" She asked no longer able to hold back her tears.
"You're tied to this place RoRo, honestly if I asked you to come with me would you go?"
"I do not know, would you actually ever ask me to?" He looked at her for a moment as she looked back awaiting an answer, but he only stood and kissed the top of her head as he grabbed his bag and moved to the door, leaving her sitting on 'their' bed.
"Goodbye RoRo."
|Present day|
That day had been the beginning of the end, that very moment I began my descent into this darkness that now, always, surrounds me, embracing me like a lover, though I had no idea it was occurring and had actually thought that I would survive it all. I thought that I would be happy again, and for a moment, just a sliver of a moment, I was happy, 'he' made me happy.
|6 months ago|
"Ya know ya can't hide out here forever." Spoke the man that had been leaning against the nearby tree watching her as she lay upon the grass, staring up into the sky. She had known he was there from the moment he stopped, but she knew him and thought that he would never speak, since he never seemed to care enough to before. "Shit happens kid, ya jus gotta roll with tha punches, deal wit it and move on." He continued his 'pep' talk as she continued to seemingly ignore him, as she silently prayed he would go away. "Ya think Bishop is somewhere sulking like this over you?" He asked hoping to snap her out of this sad state she had sunk into. He hated seeing this woman he had come to think of as strong and powerful, the true leader, nevermind what Scott thought, of the X-Men, looking so beaten. He knew her fiery nature, which he thought was much like his own, would not take a comment like the one he just gave sitting down, that she would get up off the ground, brush her self off, throw her head high, and say Bishop be damned. Instead, he saw her face crumble and her body quake with her hysterical crying.
"Shit Ro, please stop cryin, I didn't mean ta make ya cry. I'm sorry darlin." He pleaded as he now crouched beside her too afraid to touch her but trying to comfort her nonetheless.
"Wauthinkwouhappun." She wailed out and he bunched his brow in confusion, totally lost on what she had said.
"Sorry darlin I didn't catch that, I don't understand ya." She sucked back her tears for a moment and threw him a glare.
"Obviously," She hissed out. "Only a complete dumbass would say what you said to me." She added and received a hard glared from Logan.
"I came out here ta help, not ta be insulted."
"Help?" She repeated in disbelief. "You call that Helping? What you did not think I felt bad enough having the man I love leave me without much of a reason why, so you decided to 'help' by proclaiming he's off having a grand old time to boot? Thank you Logan, thank you very much."
"Look I was just trying ta snap ya out of this funk yer in, it aint like ya..."
"How would you know, you don't know me nor anything about me. What, I am not allowed to be sad, to grieve a loss, to cry? Just because you can turn off your emotions with a switch does not mean the rest of us can as well, Logan."
"Fine," He hurriedly stood up and looked down at her with hard eyes. "Be a bitch, but remember I aint tha one who dump yer highclassed ass, so don't take yer shit out on me." With that he turned and stalked off.
