Date: 07-30-16 - 01:48 am Title: Chapter 1
need update for this story.
Date: 06-16-12 - 01:45 pm Title: Chapter 1
I agree with your other reviewers - you may want to edit this a bit (the sequence or something maybe?) if it's looking like people aren't understanding your story the way you want them to. I got a distinct non-consensual, rape without reason (as Pari put it) vibe from this, even after reading chapter 2. If that isn't what you want this to come across as, look into editing or maybe getting a betareader? Or at the very least, put a trigger warning label on the summary. I don't read smut all too often, and I tend to steer clear from the particularly triggering things (like non-con or bdsm or whatever) so this made me a little uncomfortable.
Date: 06-14-12 - 12:19 pm Title: Chapter 1
Oooh Yeeesss! You have got to update this story, I hope this is not a one-shot. I swear you are the best at writing RoLo fanfic, please keep writing, do not EVER give up on your talent, best wishes to you!
Date: 06-14-12 - 04:42 am Title: Chapter 1
wow what a gripping intro!
Date: 06-13-12 - 01:59 pm Title: Chapter 1
I have a second part so bear with me, I was in the middle of typing it last night but fell asleep on my laptop and erased it! Yeah for medication! So hopefully it is as good as the original. *fingers crossed*
Jade
[Report This]Date: 06-13-12 - 01:03 pm Title: Chapter 1
Well that's an interesting way to get her attention!
[Report This]Date: 06-13-12 - 11:32 am Title: Chapter 1
Oh my gosh that was one hott i mean hott teaser!!!!
Author's Response: Thank you! I added the second chapter, so let me know how you like it. Do you think I should have presented the story differently? Thank you for the review.
Jade
Date: 06-13-12 - 09:17 am Title: Chapter 1
I'm not fully getting this yet, I see that it's not complete so I'm sure you'll be adding more to explain this chapter. At this point it's not porn w/o plot, that was rape w/o reason. I hope you provide a reason. I myself have used rape in I think two of my RoLo fics, and in one it was Logan raping Ororo, but there was a 'reason' behind that, in fact there was a reason explained in both fics.
So I will give this fic the benefit of the doubt and wait to see how it plays out, I'm looking forward to reading more.
Author's Response: This is not supposed to be about Logan raping Ororo. I posted the second chapter and it should clarify the scenes of chapter one and the thinking behind it. I would appreciate it if you would read it and let me know your honest opinion!! I based this off a conversation I had with a friend and her boyfriend, I picked their brains thoroughly. I tried to incorporate as much as i could, and hope that everyone understands where i was going and appreciates it. Thank you so much for the review!!!
Jade
Date: 06-13-12 - 05:05 am Title: Chapter 1
So how is this different from rape? They don't have an established relationship, he corners her in an empty room, ogles her purely for her looks and violates her when she tells him to stop? (No means no, kinky ruler sex or not. Also wouldnt that be painful as fuck?)
Just wondering. I want to be able to enjoy RoLo smut because I don't get to read any often.
Author's Response: Okay I posted chapter 2 and it explains everything, hopefully it does and I didn't totally mess up this story. I would love to see what you think after reading the 2nd chapter. It kind of gives you a background look into their dynamic and into what Logan and Ororo are thinking seperately. If it is still reads the wrong way I will have to revise this story. Or post a chapter showing more of Ororo's thoughts. Thank you for the review so much!!
Jade
[Report This]Date: 06-13-12 - 04:46 am Title: Chapter 1
Dammmn! If that's only the first day of break these two might not survive the summer. :)
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