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Reviewer: Dragon Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 03-02-08 - 03:19 pm Title: 9

I love it !!!!!! I did not see that one coming. I can’t wait to read the next chapter so please keep on writing and UPDATE SOON.

Author's Response: Thanks I'll try to update soon!

Reviewer: rhapsody81 Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 01-29-08 - 11:35 pm Title: 7

good job

"Her face was flustered and vein began to show faintly on her head"

That SHOWED me she was pissed! nicely done.

Reviewer: OriginalCeenote Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 01-28-08 - 08:08 pm Title: 7

Boy, Logan keeps putting his foot in it, doesn't he! I want to see more of Ororo and Scott.

Reviewer: Sweet Pea Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 01-28-08 - 06:32 pm Title: 7

Now this is getting interesting...

Reviewer: Onyx Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 01-27-08 - 06:25 pm Title: 6

Good chapter!
I'm glad there's none of that weird tension between Scott and Ororo after what happened.

Author's Response: Thank you

Reviewer: Rhapsody81 Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 01-27-08 - 01:14 pm Title: 6

you know, i like this story, but one thing that would help you as a writer is to "show" a bit more instead of telling. Like how you say Ororo hated herself for the way she felt when Scott kissed her etc... Perhaps it would be better to show her hating herself through more description of how perhaps her body and mind are at war. Things like that.

**looking forward to next chapter**

Author's Response: Thank you for the advice, I dunno, I have all the ideas in my mind but cant write them down proper. Update is very soon

Reviewer: LadyStorm Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 01-27-08 - 07:04 am Title: 6

Update soon, enjoying the story. ;)

Author's Response: Thanxx

Reviewer: CeeCee Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 01-09-08 - 08:58 pm Title: 5

I'm intrigued to see what he will tell her about why he kissed her. And part of me wants her to have a hard time making up her mind, since Logan is so typically hardheaded about how he feels about her. I've never been crazy about a Scott/Ororo pairing until recently, so I kinda like this. Thanks for updating this again.

Author's Response: Thanks 4 the review and your welcome I am working on the next chapter now and I hope get another one of your reviews

Reviewer: Dragon Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 01-09-08 - 06:51 pm Title: 5

WOW I never saw that one coming update soon.

Author's Response: Omigosh Thanks 4 reviewing I am so flattered I'm working on the next chapter now

Reviewer: CeeCee Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 01-03-08 - 07:01 pm Title: 4

I'm interested to see what Moira's surprise is. Logan will have to be Storm's backup while she's gone, won't he?

Reviewer: Sango2 Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 01-02-08 - 11:23 am Title: 3

Keep the writing coming. ;)

Reviewer: Cee Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 12-25-07 - 08:44 pm Title: Loss

Punctuation fixes would make this perfect, but it's still a good read.

The last paragraph has feeling in it, but would be stronger if the last two sentences were flipped around.

Logan stared at the door, he did not know what he had done or said to make her seem like she hated
him. He could not exactly see her emotion but could sense it. Her mood had changed and she had turned back to the Ice Queen. She was cold and detatched.


Try it this way:

Logan didn't know what he had done or said to make her seem like she hated him. He sensed her emotion rather than saw it; she was cold and detached. Ororo's mood had changed, and she had turned back into the Ice Queen.

Anyway, feel free to disregard it if you want. I just hope you continue writing this story. You have a nice way with plots and dialogue in your stories, something I always admire. Keep it coming.

Author's Response: No I don't mind thank you for correcting me, it helps. And I will continue, thanks!

Reviewer: ororo Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 01-10-07 - 07:54 pm Title: 1

continue!!!! its really good!!!!

Reviewer: ToughSpirit Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 04-19-06 - 04:07 pm Title: 1

This fic is pretty good, I'd like to read more and see where the story goes. So update A.S.A.P.

Reviewer: random gal Anonymous [Report This]
Date: 04-10-06 - 11:57 pm Title: 1

The story is OK, but you really need to refine your writing. Some parts seem rushed and the bad grammar makes other parts hard to understand. Now that you started writing you should look for more ways to improve, there are amazing writers around who can guide you through the process, so you can become one of them.

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