Date: 10-26-12 - 05:58 pm Title: Ororo's leaving
Awwh I'm hurting for both of them.
Date: 04-03-07 - 01:57 am Title: Ororo's leaving
Great chapter ! ! ! ! ! ! ! I can't wait to read the next chapter so UPDATE SOON.
Date: 07-31-06 - 03:58 pm Title: Ororo's leaving
how old is kitty?
Date: 07-31-06 - 12:16 am Title: Ororo's leaving
The characters aren't really out of character, you just showed a few more facets that they have, but don't always express. This is a good thing. The dialogue is actually really good in this chapter, so that is a feather in your cap.
Keep watching your spellings, there are a few that needed fixing, and a couple of spots where the words ran together when you typed.
"She smiled, trying to lighten the mood alittle.Kitty" See where the words ran together there?
"memorys" needs to be "memories
Little grammatical fix needed here, too: Do you even know who the father is IF as you claim is not me?" Where you have "is not me," make it "it's not me."
Anyway, this is a great story, and you are writing the characters using great insights into what makes them tick, with a situation that could easily happen in real life. Good job.