okay. . .this is getting more and more interesting. i admit that i was shocked at the tone of the first chapter and wasn't sure if i liked it or not. as you show ororo going through the emotions, however, you seem to have captured her humanity. nicely done.

as for this chapter. . . i wanted to slap the sh-t out of logan. must be good writing!

Author's Response: Thanks alot I'm glad you do like my story

Interesting "poetic prose" structure. Seeing a little more accountability, which is good. Need to tweak some spellings, wouldn't hurt to get a beta, but this is moving along a bit.

So, what's she going to do after she has the baby? Any thoughts?

Author's Response: No thoughts yet, and I'll think about getting a beta. Thanks

This is a really good chapter, please continue on. Your writing style is good, and I love the pic. Please update soon

Author's Response: I'm glad your enjoying my story, I'll be updating very soon so keep reading, ;D

At first I thought it would suck, since it seemed out of character, but it's really well written and has me intrigued. I think future chapters will clear this one up.
But at least I want you to know that, unlike some of the writers who submit to this site, you actually do have talent.

Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much for this review, I'm glad you think i have some talent-I dont think I have any talent whatsoever. I know this story is out of character, but hopefully you being the reader will see some change in that aspect of the story-hopefully.

I'm coming at reading this from the mom angle. When I see Ororo's thoughts here, they seem like very frightened, angry thoughts, and like she isn't accepting much accountability for how the baby got there. At least not yet.

When I read those thoughts, the liberal side of me says "Hm. Hate. Resentment. Won't love. Sounds like she is really talking to Logan for deserting her." I can't believe that she would feel that way about the baby him or herself. She's already admitted that she sees it as a life, not just a bunch of cells.

I won't rate this yet, but I won't discourage, either. Compelling back story and responsible coping from 'Ro in subsequent chapters might make this one seem less stark. My eye watered a little by the second paragraph, I won't explain why. Tragedy is supposed to add value to joy, not just be tragic in and of itself. Show us why she feels this way.

Author's Response: I'm glad your coming from the mom side of things, instead of the Ororo side of things as she sees everything as an equal. Usualy in stories that include Ororo and a child I find they always come from the nicer side of pregnancies, such as nice warm feelings you may encounter, I was trying to come from a different angle entirely, like shock. Further on in this story some chapters try and explain why she wrote what she did and so I hope you keep reading. Thank you for your review.

That was unexpected...but I'm curious to know what happened for her to not want the baby. I'm guessing rape. Rape victims often resent their child and I do not think that every single one of them that decides to keep it (to give up for adoption or whatever) grows to love the baby as months goes by. They may in fact hate it or feel nothing for the baby.

Author's Response: I can tell you now its not rape, I would never do a rape story. Keep reading to find out what happens though, I will be updating soon. Thanks for your comment, very much appreciated.

ok, seriously, that was horrible. Not the writing--in fact, I don't see a structural problem--the problem is the sentiment. First, Ororo would NEVER feel that way--hell she was impreganated by a brood alien for cryin' out loud, and debated nurturing it. Normally I never leave bad reviews, because all writers should be encouraged, but that was the most irresponsible piece of writing ever. No mother worth breathing would ever--EVER--have that mentality toward a child--even unplanned ones. To do so, is just sick.

Author's Response: I know its horrible in that sense but thats where I was coming from, I was looking at a different angle of how Ororo might feel if she'd only just found out, instead of having her all motherly. It will change in the next chapters I promise.