Can't stop addicted to the shin dig
Cop top he says I'm gonna win big
Choose not a life of imitation
Distant cousin to the reservation


The land seemed to stretch on for so many miles, it was a wonder to a certain white haired goddess why the whole Earth wasn’t painted this way. How the road could continue to stretch on and on; sprouting from other roads and creating new ones in its wake. How the dessert-like climate didn’t stretch along with those roads, coloring everything in a dry, dusty climate, along with a calming serenity about it that you can only get when traveling such flat landscapes through the land of Arizona.

No looking back is what Ororo Munroe always told herself. Looking back was weakness and for longing. Why venture off in life that has so much to offer that is only filled with nothing but what you could only ever want and need to only turn back to a comfort zone you were just all too familiar with in the first place?

The subtle wind that blew caressingly against the mocha-skinned beauty made Ororo close her pristine eyes as her snow white hair danced around her face, flowing on the breath of life as she leaned lightly against the side of her car that lay parked on the side of the narrow, two-lane road.

Ororo allowed her calm mind to drift back to times in which life wasn’t so calm and cool. Life had taught her to learn of being a somebody, a fighter. Life wasn’t easy and Ororo Munroe never expected it to be. She wouldn’t have traded all the hardships in her past and the placid present she had now for anything in the world. She never dreamed of it.

A true smile crept on the woman’s face as she slowly opened her ocean blue eyes once again and studied the southern sunset as it reflected beautifully off her wandering gaze.

Moving on and forward wasn’t forgetting and forgiving, even if only for a second. Chancing a new life filled with new opportunities was a gift, a new adventure and Ororo Munroe was only too happy to unwrap and start her new journey through the never-ending roads of life.

Defunct the pistol that you pay for
This punk the feeling that you stay for
In time I want to be your best friend
Eastside love is living on the west end


One and a half years ago


Logan Howlett hadn’t really known what he was doing or what was going through his blank mind as he hugged the only person he had left in this harsh, unfair world. He felt her cling to him desperately as if she wouldn’t be able to breathe without him if he left her but she knew what he had to do; she knew it was his duty calling him away from her forever and it hurt. It hurt like it was the worse pain in the whole world.

Logan would never say it, but it crushed him, literally crushed him, when he felt his uniform dampen as his twenty year old daughter shook furiously under an attack of uncontrollable tears that leaked onto the foreign uniform material. If she didn’t stop soon, she wouldn’t be the only one miserably crying because life wasn’t fair.

Logan wrapped strong, comforting arms around the petite woman, bringing her even closer to him if it that was even possible. He rubbed her back soothingly, the motion repeating itself over and over again as Logan closed his tired eyes to keep the tears in check. His strong hands absently stroked the girl’s long, smooth hair in a comforting gesture as he rested his chin lightly on top her head.

Logan would have been lying if he said he wanted to stay home and not leave. In fact, he wanted to be anywhere except what he used to call home because every moment he lay awake in that place, he couldn’t live, couldn’t breathe. It was slowly wasting him away to nothing even though it felt he was nothing already. Logan had made the choice in leaving everything he ever knew behind him because some things were meant to be left behind.

“Daddy, I don’t think Mom would want you to be doing this.” Jaden Howlett sobbed softly, her tears not relenting anytime soon as she shook harder and harder under the fierce amount of pressure of keeping her sobs deep inside her.

Logan’s throat was starting to close up a little too much and too soon for what he was hoping for. Why did she have to mention her? Of all people and of all times. Why did Jaden even have to speak of such a hard and difficult subject? She knew it killed him. She knew that deep down inside, somewhere in that small, little heart of Logan Howlett’s, memories of once was remained forever cherished no matter how painful they seemed.

Though this wasn’t easy for a certain Jaden Howlett either. At such a tender age of twenty with the only person left of her family leaving, abandoning her, Logan couldn’t imagine what she was feeling after all that the poor woman had been through. It would’ve been a different scenario if Logan had been leaving for a long time for a business trip or something of the sort, but Logan wasn’t leaving for a business trip. He was leaving for war. And anyone who came home from war came home in a casket or because their service time was finally up.

Logan’s service time was at least going to be six months in a land he had never step foot into before and that was if everything went smoothly and he wouldn’t be needed to serve for an extra year or so. Six months was a long time to wait for a loved one when wondering if they were alive or dead. Six months was a long time to wait, period.

It was going to be a long business trip.

“Mr. Howlett, we’re boarding now.” A soft voice said from behind Logan, tearing him from his thoughts abruptly. He had been fearing this part. Logan knew he would be alright but would his baby girl be alright?

That would be a different story entirely.

Logan felt Jaden’s fingers pry the back of his uniform roughly as she finally let the sobs loose. Logan knew it was a long time coming and all he could do was stand there and hold the distraught woman as she let loose everything.

It must have been a while that seemed like only a second in time because Logan felt a light tap on his stiff shoulder, sending him an invisible message that basically said “It’s time to leave. Now.”

Jaden must’ve picked up on the signal, as she too unraveled herself from her father’s safe embrace, wiping her tears away with the back of her long shirt sleeve. This didn’t stop the tears though as Logan stepped forward to move Jaden’s straight raven hair from out of her face to peer into her troubled gaze which was currently glancing down at her feet.

“You don’t have to go,” Jaden about whispered, her tear-stained face gazing into her father’s hard eyes in a last minute plead for him to not leave her behind; just how all her other loved one’s had in one way or another.

“I want ta’, sweetheart. I need ta’,” Logan murmured softly, smiling a faint smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “You know that more than anyone.”

“Logan, I’m sorry, but we really need to leave-”

“Yeah, yeah. I hear ya.” Logan sighed, interrupting his captain. He turned back to Jaden one last time and gathered her in his arms for the sake of ever being close to someone he loved again, and kissed her on her forehead. “Letters. Send me letters, kay?”

Jaden Howlett nodded, almost robotically as Logan stepped back once again and gave her the biggest smile he could suffice at that moment in time. Holding out his hand in a rock that was just all too familiar to the young woman, she made her fist into a rock as well and pounded his fist in their signature handshake.

“Piece of pie.”

“Piece of cake.”

And as Logan Howlett turned away to finally board his flight to Iraq, Logan wasn’t surprised at the fact that he didn’t hear his little Jaden Howlett sob out for him. He knew she would be strong for him, for herself and for anyone else who might have been having a hard time in letting their loved one go to the war as well. He knew because she was his daughter and he had taught her well through all those rough and hard times that people her age usually didn’t have to go through. She was stronger than most and for that reason alone, he knew she would be okay without him.

Logan couldn’t help but smile to himself as not one more tear ran down his drained face.

In the end, everything will be alright. And if it’s not alright, then it’s not the end.


*****


Ororo Munroe felt herself being lifted up high into the cool air of the night and secured safely in someone’s arms that she couldn’t put a name to. Barely being able to open her eyes, she could easily tell she was finally home as she clearly recognized the front yard and how the tulips were set up uniquely around the front walkway to the front door of the house.

The stars helped greatly in soothing the woman’s tired soul as the moon shone brightly in the clear nighttime sky, casting a luminous, glowing blanket over the Earth. For once the world seemed at peace; at peace with its inhabitants and itself. It seemed that for maybe just this once, nothing was wrong and everything was right.

The white-haired goddess couldn’t help but smile, albeit weakly. She had just been through hell and back and she was still here; still breathing and alive and she couldn’t be more grateful for her life. Nights like these made her think about all the things she ever took advantage of from each day in and day out.

She could truly say she was at harmony with herself.

She heard a door open and shut and figured whoever was holding her close had just stepped through the front door and was now making their slow way up the stairs.

Ororo’s eyes were closed now but that didn’t stop her from feeling the comforting caress against her cool cheek. Suddenly she felt herself being put down softly and gently on a very comfortable surface as if she was fragile as glass.

She felt the weight of a couple of warm, snug blankets being wrapped around her stiff body and placed on top of her as her head lay supported comfortably by a couple of pillows, she guessed.

She heard movement somewhere and as the bed dipped, Ororo Munroe knew who her mysterious savior was and her smile only grew wider and brighter as she felt herself tugged gently towards the warm embrace of a man. A very special man.

“The baby’s okay, Roro. And yer okay. An’ that’s all that matters right now.”

In the deep reveries of her solemn mind, Ororo felt her forehead kissed lightly and she finally allowed herself a much needed rest in a much needed embrace that only made her conscience happier as her world slowly turned black.

“You still think about him, don’t you?”

Ororo broke out of her thoughts instantly, knowing the voice all too well as she shook herself back to the real world.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to startle you, Ro.” The man across from her seat whispered, a comforting smile strewn upon his handsome features as he nudged the silent woman with his boot that was strapped tightly around his foot.

“It’s alright. I shouldn’t be day dreaming anyways. We’re about to land. What kind of soldier would I be if my head was anywhere except the battlefield?” Ororo quietly murmured more to herself than for anyone else to hear. As she sat on the furthermost seat on the right of the large helicopter, she gazed out onto the barren lands that they seemed to always fly over, day after day, week after week, month after month. It never changed and it wouldn’t ever and it never got old.

Scott Summers frowned at the dismal woman before him, wiping the fake smile clean off his face. Ororo was always so hard and tough on herself; more so than anyone in her squad. He knew what the forlorn woman in front of him had been through and was going through and everyday he tried to be there for her, to be that one shoulder that she could lean and cry on but each and every passing moment of every day he was continuously rejected and cast away and he could only sit by on the sidelines as he watched one of the best friends he had ever had the great chance of knowing slowly fall down the steep slope towards the bottomless pit of grief and nothingness, if she wasn’t already there. It crushed him. Oh, it crushed him so. But what could he do if Ororo wasn’t willing to open up to him in the end? He could constantly remind the broken woman that he would always be there for her no matter what and if she ever needed to talk, he would be more than willing to. But the words were just words to the mocha-skinned beauty and nothing more. Just repeated sayings that had no logic to them whatsoever.

Nobody could help her. Nobody but herself. And if she didn’t want help then what was the point?

Scott nudged Ororo again, trying to get any kind of reaction out of her and the only one he got was a small smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes as she continued to stare out at the sparse landscape.

The static of the helicopter radio buzzed on and off a couple of times before finally a deep voice came on. “We’re here for one thing and one thing only, ladies and gentlemen. Search and destroy.”

How many times had Ororo heard those words? And how many times had she completely obeyed those words one hundred and ten percent, fulfilling her duty and honor as the soldier she was?

Too many times. They were just words now. No meaning behind them at all.

As Ororo felt the helicopter descend onto one of the many bases stationed around the desolate wastelands, she wondered if maybe today was her last and final day on this wasted Earth and if it was, she would be happy.

Happy because at least in heaven, day dreams actually became real.