“James, don’t do this� My fathers voice is a soft whisper. Yet holds such sadness that my resolve almost waver. Almost.
“How many lives have you taken? How many more are you willing to take?�
Blood is dripping slowly from my hands. Blood from family. Xavier’s the last.
“One more. Only one more if you will stand aside Hank� I hear my own voice, devoid of emotion, calm. My father, Hank McCoy. This blue, fearsome beast in some eyes, seems to lose whatever keeps him upright at my words. His shoulders sinks, and eyes closes for a moment. The silence breaks only by the soft buzz of the innumerable machines in fathers cluttered lab. I had spent many wonderful hours here, playing and trying to invent gizmos, never succeeding. Father encouraged me to try and was patient enough to let me "help" him on various projects. In later years, I had learned from him. I could never match his genius of course, but I knew my way around. I even got a masters degree in Bio technology.
“James, you are doing a mistake, can’t you see that?� He finally speaks. I know now that he will force me to go thru him. No matter. I could hardly condemn my soul further.
“James� A new voice. My mother, so beautiful stepps in, standing next to Hank. They would make this hard. She puts her slender arm around Hanks, and once again I almost waver.
“Please James, listen to us. We love you, doesn’t that mean anything to you?�
"If you love me, step aside, don't make me fight you."
"We can't, you know that James." I know that. After all, they had raised me.
"Then I have no choice"
"We all have a choice Jimmy" My mother steps forward, hands reaching out to me. The skin on my knuckles burn as I release the blades. She pauses, her hazel eyes touching the cold metal blades, six of them, three on each hand, that now protrudes from my knuckles.
"Oh James. What have you done?"
"What was necessary" I reply. Why can't they understand? Why do they force me to do this?
"Sinister's gifts always comes with an higher price than anticipated" My fathers soft voice betrays something more. Was it anger? Disappointment? I don't want to care. The price had been paid. The pain and agony was a small price to pay for the adamantium. Now I was on par with him.
"I have made my mind Hank. Please Cecilia stand aside" I let my eyes down to my mother, she looks as I've already delivered a blow to her.
"James, Hank may not have sired you, and I did not give birth to you, but that doesn't mean we wouldn't love you, as much as we would love our own flesh and blood. You called us your parents. You took Hanks name. Why do you disown us now?"
"I don't deserve you." Tears wells up in her beautiful eyes, she continues forward. I stay silent, unmoving as she embrace me.
"I'm sorry" I whisper in her ear, and she gasps, with a look of disbelief when she feels the blades cutt through her chest effortlessly.
"CECILIAAA" father roars, I've never heard him sound as beastlike as now. He leaps towards me, incredibly fast, fangs bared and pure primal rage in his golden eyes. I was expecting him. Mother sank to the floor. She dies quickly. Father don’t. Even with the blades deep buried in his chest he holds on, blood gushing from his lips as he tries to speak.
“J-james…I’m sorry we failed you. � I want to cry, to scream that it wasn’t true. They didn’t fail. It was me. But the words won’t come. I lay his still breathing form beside mothers, and turn my back on them. The newest invention of Hank McCoy stood in eerie silence. It looks more like two pillars, taller than me, and broad enough for two men. He had been about to dismount it when I arrived. But as I had worked on it together with him, I know what parts are missing. I can still hear his ragged, painful breathing. Why can’t he let go? Why can’t he die? I work rapidly, until the machine with a soft buzz turns on it’s UV lights. It is awaiting my command. Without hesitation I type the data it needs. The opalescent blue light shines brightly and I step between the pillars, just as the doors to the lab burst open.
“James! What have you…� I can’t hear Belladonna’s last words as I’m engulfed in the light. The time machine is sending me back. Back to kill the bastard that had sired me.

I’m dreaming. Yet the sounds and the images are as accurate as if I now was attending the event.

*

“..and he screamed like a banshee the little tyke. Oh my stars and garters. I’ve never seen anyone so scared of a jellyfish before� Belladonna almost went under the table, laughing hard. Father chuckled and winked at me, as I tried to hide my embarrassment.
“Henry, be nice. Jimmy was only four years old and that was the first time he saw one.� Mother stepped into the kitchen. The lines of fatigue dissolved when she smiled at us. Then she tried her “stern face�, but failed miserably when father agile as a cat leapt up from the kitchen table and had her in his arms the next second.
“Well, if it isn’t the ravishing Dr Reyes McCoy gracing us with her presence? Have you met Belladonna? Didn’t I tell you that Jimmy would inherit my good looks and knockout charm? How else could he bring home a beautiful girl like that?� Mother rolled her eyes, and hit him playfully on his chest.
“Put me down you beast! Hello Bella, I’ve just seen your mother. We are expecting your little brother anytime soon� Belladonna flashed mother a smile. Yet I knew she wasn’t as thrilled at the news as some would expect. She had been the only child for sixteen years. In her own words, she had long passed the age when you wished for a sibling in your letter to Santa. She was used at getting spoiled rotten by her father, and didn’t have to compete with anyone besides her mother for his attention. She did hide her feelings though, as she had seen how the prospect of having another baby made her parents so happy. Mr. LeBeau was happy, her mother didn’t seem to be. That’s why Bella and me thought it safer if we went home to me. Now though, as I sat with Bella at our kitchen table, I wondered what was worst. Letting your father tell your girlfriend toddler stories or listening to Mrs. LeBeau screaming and cursing at Mr. LeBeau?
“Rogue let you check her up? And no limbs are missing. I’m impressed my good doctor. Beg your pardon Bella, but your mother has a somewhat heated temper “
This time, Bella’s smile was a bit more genuine.
“No need Mr. McCoy. Ah know, as well as mah poor papa.� Father kissed mother on the forehead before gently putting her down. She gave him a hug and then went to the cabinet for a mug.
“Yes I can imagine Gambit gets the brunt of her temper. But please Bella, don’t call me Mr. McCoy. It makes me feel old. Call me Hank, Henry or even Beast, will you?�
“If ya say so Hank� She obediently responded and father chuckled .
“That’s a good girl. Jimmy, make sure to take good care of her, will you?� I hid my face in my hands as Bella laughed again.
“Daad!�
“What?� father looked puzzled, glancing at Bella
“Do you think he is embarrassed?�
“Ah think so� Bella giggled. Her red on black eyes glittering mischievously. She and my father got along very well.
“Henry!� mother chided as she poured strong coffee in her cup
“If you don’t stop teasing him, I’m gonna tell them what you did when we first started dating!�
“What did he do?� Bella asked with a huge grin. Father shook his head
“There’s no need! Jimmy weren’t you about to show her what you made in the lab? I brought it up to your room�
“Yes!� I got up quickly, relived to have an excuse to leave them.
“You coming, Bell?�
“Nice saving� mother murmured to father as she snuggled up to him. He chuckled and put his strong blue furred arms around her waist as we left the kitchen. I had my room in the attic. It was spacey with high ceiling. And impossible cluttered I realized as Bella had to hop and criss-cross thru clothes, gadgets and comics laying on the floor, then had to wipe off a pile of unsorted stuff on the bed as she carefully sat down.
“Sorry for the mess� I offered the apology, standing in the doorway, feeling suddenly awkward. She was beautiful, even at sixteen. Auburn curls, cut short and large eyes. The color she’d got from her father, but her looks strongly reminded of her mother. She smiled beautifully at me, she was confident, but there was a shimmer of awkwardness in that smile.
“No problem Jimmy…Is this..?� She reached for the holo-image that stood at my bedside table, the only furniture that wasn’t cluttered. I was about to shout to her to be careful, but she had already lifted it up.
“Yer mama? Yer real mama?� I nodded silently, unable to move as she traced a finger along my birthmothers features.
“She’s beautiful. Ah’ve seen pictures and the records uncle Xavier keeps. Papa sometimes tells stories about her.� I didn’t answer, and she looks up at me, the smile wavering on her lips.
“Ah’m sorry Jimmy, Ah didn’t want to..�
“No� I cleared my throat and moved forward, gently taking the statue from her.
“It’s ok. Really. I don’t remember her much. Fuzzy images mostly. Mum and dad tells me about her sometimes�
“Ya don’t have one of yer papa? “
“No…it broke� my hands shook as I carefully put the statue back.
“Ya could make a new? Or ask Ill..� She stopped as I shook my head, almost fiercely.
“No, I don’t want one. I don’t want anything of that bastard!� my shout made her flinch, and I instantly regretted my outburst.
“I didn’t mean to shout Bell. I’m sorry. It’s…I don’t know. I remember even less about him than my mother. But it’s this feeling...I feel like I hate him…but I don’t know why. He died at the same time as mum. It was some accident, no one wants to tell me what happened. � I didn’t even realize how much I opened up for her. She sat in silence as I vented my frustration, walking back and forth in front of her.
“There must be something horrible, that they don’t think I’m ready to handle. But I’m seventeen years old, and I had my Wakening when I was thirteen! Shouldn’t I be able to handle the truth?� There I finally paused, glancing at Bella who had her eyes downcast. I silently cursed myself. She hadn’t had her Wakening yet. Of course she had the X-gene, but her powers hadn’t manifested yet and it was painful for her.
“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…�
“No no, it’s alright Jimmy, ah understand ya. Ah would be mad too if it was mah folks. “
“Yes but I shouldn’t have brought up..�
She smiled sadly
“It’s okay Jimmy. It’s like puberty, sometimes it’s late. Ah know I’ll have a Wakening, an It’ll be wonderful! And pa promised me that the celebration will make Illyana bloody Rasputin bloody Pryde’s look like a dull tea party!�
“I’m sure it will� I replied, and she looked suspiciously at me. I had never understood why she and Illyana didn’t get along. They never had. And their mutual dislike for each other increased when Illyana had her Wakening. She was a telepath and would become quite gifted if she trained properly. I liked her, she was a great artist and had made the holo-statue of my mother as a Wakening gift to me.
“Hmph! Too bad she wasn’t a flatscan!� Bella looked slightly apologetic at me, then shrugged
“Not that it’s bad..,but…�
“ It’s a bit demeaning, calling someone that� I tried not to sound lecturing, it was bad enough that I didn’t share her dislike for Illyana.
“Not really. Ah mean…it just a stupid word an' all. Ah mean fla…baseline humans calls us freaks and muties. It’s just a description. And ah don’t mind them, really. Ah mean, Susie Summer’s a flatscan, an she doesn’t mind being called that, an' she’s mah best friend. “ I shrugged, and she squirmed slightly. The silence stretched until she broke it.
“ So…what are ya gonna do about yer folks? Will you try to find out the truth or let it be? “
“ I want to know what happened, but I don’t know how. “
“We’ll figure out how� she smiled at my surprised look
“Ya didn’t think ah wouldn’t help ya? Aw c’mon thick head. Of course ah’m gonna help ya. Ah didn’t just inherit mah pa’s devil eyes. The blood of the best thief in the world runs in mah veins! Now, c’mere and ah’ll help ya forget yer troubles for a while�

*

The dream fades as I watch myself bend forward to kiss her. I’m surrounded by the opalescent blue light, a soft humming in my ears as the machine is working to take me back in time. New dreams unfolds, some short and blurred, other long and detailed.

“I will not celebrate my Wakening� I was at the school grounds, studying for an upcoming exam, but raised my head from the book, as I surprised looked at Brandon Worthington IV.
“Why?� I blurted out. He had the coolest power I’d seen. Could blend in with the shadows and teleport through darkness. His powers had Woken late at age eighteen.
“It’s a stupid custom. They didn’t have it before. My mum and dad never had a Wakening so why should I?�
“Because they couldn’t. There were no safe places for mutants and they mostly had to hide their gifts. You know your dad was prosecuted for his wings, right?�
“Of course I know. They show the The Great Prosecution down our throats every day! But it’s all changed. Almost everyone here is a mutant, and the rest of the world don’t give a damn about us.�
“There are still reports of mutant being hunted..� I started, but Brandon cut me off with a sneer.
“Mostly fabricated. Haven’t you seen how non mutants are treated here? They are called flatscans and worse. You know Susan Summers? Her mother was the freaking Phoenix! And yet she don’t posses the x-gene, and for that she is seen as worthless by us homo superior. Hmph, superior my ass!�
I couldn’t respond to that, and Brandon continued.
“I think most of what they tell us is exaggerated anyway. But I have started this community, and we want to ban the Wakening. Here, take a look� He handed me a flyer, by his expectant look, I knew he wanted me to join their cause.
“I don’t know Brandon�
“Think about it will you? You don’t have to make up your mind yet. But I’m telling you, when we graduate, I’m leaving this place. I’m gonna get out of here and live in the real world. “
I guess he could do that. He looked completely human. Caucasian with slight Asian features. Girls found him handsome, and his parent’s were filthy rich. If he didn’t use his powers he could live in the “real� world as he called it. I hoped that he wouldn’t regret this decision.
“I will think about it� I replied and looked at the flyer.

*

The dream fades away, another takes it’s place as I’m traveling on, surrounded by light

“If she’s not home at eleven, I’ll blow your head off. Is dat clear homme?� I swallowed, noticing the serious glint in Mr LeBeau’s red on black eyes. He was smoking a thin cigar, the smoke wafted like misty fingers towards the sky.
“Yes sir� I replied, nervously twitching the small bouquet I was going to give Belladonna. We were standing on the porch to their house. A sweet scent of jasmine spiced the air from the bushes. We stood in silence, him with that hard glare that didn’t leave my face, me trying to look at anything but him. Finally the door opened, and Bella came down, gliding. She was breathtaking. Her auburn hair caught up in a tight pony tail, decorated with pearls. The green glittering dress revealing her lush curves and followed every graceful move. A transparent green shawl was draped around her shoulders. She looked up at me, smiling softly. Once again I swallowed hard, and closed my mouth.
“Do ya like it?� she enquired, and I could only nod.
“Ya don’t look bad either. Is that for me?� With fumbling fingers I fastened the bouquet around her wrist. Mrs LeBeau followed, carrying Bella’s 1 year old brother.
“Ye kids have a good time now ye hear?�
“You better behave. I’ll be up waiting� Mr LeBeau grumbled. Bella sighed, and took the few steps down to me, linking her arm with me.
“Pa, ah’ll be home when ah want. An if ya don’t stop threatening Jimmy ya'll be waiting ‘till hell freezes over before ah come back!�
“You better watch your mouth petit� father and daughter glared angrily at each other.
“Remy, Belladonna, Ya stop this instant or ah’m gonna knock yer thick heads!� They both turned their gazes at Mrs. LeBeau.
“Remy, ya let the kids be. They both know how to behave, better than ya ever knew. Bella, don’t mess yer dress to much. Ah’d hate ta have it ruined when ah’d ta struggle with it for three weeks. An' if ah hear ya were fighting Illyana, the trip ta New Orleans is off for the next century for yer part. Now, off with ye, an Jimmy?�
“Yes ma’m?�
“Take care of her. Be home at two. Coming swamp rat?�

*

The images fades, as new ones takes its place

*

“Jimmy!� I don’t respond to the urgent whispering, made louder as they came thru the speakers mounted on the walls. Sweating, with brows furrowed in hard concentration I copied the rapid movements done by the holo-image of the man fighting several opponents.
“JIMMY! Someone’s coming. Terminate the session� Belladonna sounded exasperated, I didn’t listen. Leaping through the air, I release my bone claws and copy the same punch-kick and stabbing as the fighter, landing in a crouching position I kicked hard at an unseen opponent. I had run this session, and others. It got easier for each time. The fighting style was a mix of martial arts and street fighting. Brutal and dirty but with a poetic deadly grace. My body had formed by the hard exercise. Tough and flexible. I didn’t mind the sting in my knuckles now that I released the bone claws. The pain was somewhat comfortable. What I had to mind was not to let the rage take control. It was something I could feel lurking at the border of my consciousness. A berserker rage as my father called it. He had learned to suppress his, and taught me how to calm my own beast, if I kept it in check, I’d not loose my control. He did not approve that I trained, not like this. He didn’t want me to become a fighter. I couldn’t understand it. He had been an X-man and an Avenger. Fought opponents and saved the world. Why would he deny me this? We had our arguments, none of us budging. For the family peace sake we didn’t bring it up anymore. I didn’t tell him I sneaked up to the academy and trained in secret, using forbidden files to hone my skills. I didn’t fool my self into believing he didn’t know. His senses was even more accurate than mine. He could notice the bruises, smell the faint taint of blood that sprung up whenever I released my claws. I noticed the sadness in his eyes when he subtly checked me up, but we didn’t speak of it. I still studied and helped him in the Lab. Having my MD in Bio technology I had even started to look for work.
“Fine! Yer on yer own thick head! Ah’m out’a here, ye hear?� I cast a glance up to the rec. room window where Bella stood, glaring angrily at me. The door to the Danger Room suddenly opened, and I turned to the intruder, claws at the ready.
“Cerebra, terminate this session� Xavier’s calm voice betrayed no emotion. The holograms winked out of existence and I found my self standing in it’s sterile stainless steel environment looking at the aged Charles Xavier, still the most powerful telepath in the world.
“Belladonna, please return to your home. I will speak with you and your parents later. James, you follow me to my office, and sheathe your claws. I am not your enemy. “ We silently obeyed. For an old man, he was commanding even if he didn’t raise his voice. I followed him through the long corridors, in sullen silence. He didn’t look at me, nor speak. I was taller than him, but he made me feel like when I was seven and was taken to the principals office for starting a brawl with Johnny Drake.
“Close the door and take a seat� I did as I was told when we entered his office. It was difficult to think that this man had been tied to a wheelchair for the most part of his life. He seated himself across from me, behind the oaken desk, placing his hands in front of him.
“Now, tell me what you think you were doing. And why you broke into the restricted files to access those specific data.�
I didn’t answer, but stared sullenly on the clean surface of the desk. Xavier sighed finally.
“James, I could pry the answer from your mind�
“Why don’t you?� I replied vehemently without raising my gaze to meet his.
“I would rather you told me.�
“Yeah? I bet you already knows anyway, so why don’t you just go ahead and lecture me, then bring in my parents so they too can tell me how disappointed they are by my actions!�
“You think that would solve the matter? James, those files are restricted for a reason. If you want combat lessons, you should join Tabitha Smith’s class. She has pulled together a new group�
“Boomer’s back?� This revelation put me off guard. Xavier nodded. I didn’t know all the facts, but she had been “indisposed� as they called it, for nearly six months after her son died. Ricky and I had played as children, but had drifted a part as we grew up. I hardly knew him as a teenager. His death had shocked me. Rumor told he had been butchered by another mutant. Other more vicious rumors stated that it was Sabretooth who Ricky had found out was his father. The whispered rumors said that Sabretooth had assaulted Tabitha, forced himself on her and left her for dead. Eight months later, Ricky was born. Apparently Ricky had found out the truth and went out to revenge his mothers suffering, but ended up dead.
“What happened to Ricky, professor?�
“He was killed�
“How? Who killed him?�
“That information is Tabitha’s to give when she is ready�
“Shouldn’t we be informed if there is a killer on the loose? He could be running through our streets and murder more people!� I was getting angry again.
“Richard Smith’s murderer have been apprehended, that is all you need to know James. Now, as I stated before, if you want to learn combat, I am sure Tabitha wouldn’t mind you in her class. You are old enough to participate and don’t need your parents permission. But I was under the impression you wanted a career in the science department. Haven’t you applied for a position as a lab assistant in Stark Enterprises?" Xavier change of subject was a clear indication that he would not answer any more questions about Ricky’s death. I balled my fists in anger and didn’t answer him. I had the feeling that the older mutants kept many things from us, the next generation as they called us. Things from their past that they deemed was unnecessary or even dangerous perhaps for us to know. I didn’t know why I believed that. Maybe from certain looks I’ve seen they share. A sudden sad glint in their eyes when they seemed to think on an event that happened before our time. And then it was the questions I asked that went unanswered. Like what kind of accident it was that killed my parents. They had died when I was two years old. I’ve asked their closest friends, The LeBeau’s, Mr and Mrs Rasputin, Mr Summers and Xavier, neither answering straight. Not even Hank or Cecilia who had adopted me. It was driving me crazy, because I knew they were shielding me from the truth. A truth they believed was to much for me to handle. Bella and I had tried to search for some information, but had found nothing so far. There were no records of how they died. The obituaries only stated they died by an tragic accident. I was nineteen and still lived in my parents house, but by both mutant and human standards I was a grown up, so why couldn’t they just let me in to their secrets? What was it in their past that could hurt me? How could knowing the truth about my biological parents hurt me more than not knowing?
“It’s apparent that you won’t respond to my question. So allow me to be brief. You will no longer have access to any of the academy’s files. You are no longer granted any access to Cerebra or any other system tied to her, and that goes for your friend, miss LeBeau too. If further attempts are made to reach any restricted files, you will be forbidden to enter the academy and it’s grounds. Is that understood?�
“James, is that understood?�
“Yeah, whatever� I didn’t realize how juvenile I sounded. I rose from the chair feeling the anger seethe through me.
“You can refuse me entrance to the academy Xavier and do your best to keep your secrets. But the day will come when I learn the truth. So consider this, would you rather I learned it by myself, or will you wish, that day that you had told me?�

*

The event fades. It’s memory still fresh as it was now happening. I feel odd, my skin is tingling, perhaps it was the effect of time traveling. Father and I hadn’t tested the machine yet. And when he suspected what I was about to do, he tried to dismantle it. I can’t feel myself traveling, not like when I flew or drove a car. I feel weightless, but still planted on one spot. It is a strange feeling, but not unpleasant. Details from my past come and go like dreams, other than that I see nothing but the light and hear nothing but the soft humming that lulls me.

*

There were rapid dreams, all jumbled together, but I do recognize them. Jean Grey Summers funeral. My Wakening. Bella’s wakening. She had been disappointed to learn she was an empath. My graduation from the academy. And Halloween at Worthington mansion.

*

I arrived with my parents. They had dressed up like some old movie stars. Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers, my father had explained sounding scandalized when I didn’t know who they were. It was in the evening, darkness hadn’t settled yet. We were the last to arrive as usual. Father always had difficult to pull away from his various projects and mother had to drag him off in the last minute. The Worthington mansion was one of the largest estates here in Genosha. Only surpassed by the academy and the city hall. It was really to big for a family of three, two now that Brandon had moved out. Warren and Elizabeth Worthington were both from rich families and was comfortable with it I guess. The mansion looked like those Victorian estates from the south. White marble with tall pillars, balconies and tall windows. Carefully trimmed trees and bushes stood in perfect symmetry in the vast grounds. Roses and various other plants grew in the what you could call this private park. You could fit three of our house in this place. Now as it was Halloween, Mr and Mrs Braddock had decorated the grounds, making it look like the Graveyard God forgot. Holo images of ghosts drifted around wailing. Huge pumpkins with carved out eyes and wide grins where strategically placed around the lawn and marble steps, glowing from the candles placed inside them.
“They have outdone themselves, yet again� Father chuckled as a ghost of a woman drifted about with her head tucked under her arm.
“Honestly, it’s too much. The children will have nightmares for weeks if they see this�
“Haven’t you seen the Disney movies? This is nothing compared to them! Little Charlie will find this no scarier than we did Dr Snuggles!�
“Dr Snuggles?� Mother sounded amused
“You watched Dr Snuggles?�
“I was a kid!�
“It was in the 1980:s when it first aired Hank. You were what, twenty then?�
“As I said, a kid. Now shall we? We are late�
Mother tried unsuccessfully to stifle her laughter. Her shoulders shook as father led her up the marble stairs. I followed them, smiling. It was a good evening. Inside, the mansion was decorated with haunting pictures, curtains and statues. It looked like a derelict Gothic Church seen in vampire flicks. They even had an holo image of count Dracula partly hidden behind a curtain. Mostly close friends to the Worthington's were invited I observed. I was a bit surprised to see mr Rasputin in a costume. As my father seemed when he stared at this huge man wearing pirates outfit, eye patch ,bandana and a lethal looking dagger. He looked up at us when we entered and raised a hand in greeting. Fathers wide grin showed fangs and we started towards Mr Rasputin and his wife. Katherine Pryde, our Mayor, had a seemingly heavy costume, dressed up as queen Elizabeth I of England. She was positively littered with fake jewels and a crown rested on her grey-streaked auburn hair. She tried an haughty air when father bowed, graciously as ever. Then she let go of all pretenses as she hugged him and kissed his cheek.
“Hank! I haven’t seen you in ages! How are you doing? Still molting away in your lab?�
“I wouldn’t let him Kitty� Mother received a hug and they laughed. Then she turned to me a radiant smile that banished the years from her face.
“Come here you huge lummox. It’s not fitting for a queen to stand on her toes trying to kiss a handsome boy as yourself� I complied, feeling her soft lips brushing my cheeks. Kitty was a close friend to mum and dad, but as the mayor, she hadn’t much time for her friends. When Illyana and I had been younger, I was often at their house and I had come to view Kitty and Piotr as my aunt and uncle. Servants came with refreshment and others came to speak with us. Mingling around exchanging hugs and kisses, it was like a big family reunion. Scott Summers was like I always remember him, somber and somehow distant. He had become more so after his wife died. Susie stayed home with him, and seemed content. His other daughter, Rachel was married and expected a child. Nathan Summers, his son that seemed almost older than Scott was a grandparent. Odd as it may seem, nothing really could surprise us. Alex and Lorna Summers were teachers at the academy, their children were older than me and had moved out. Carter, their oldest son, who was adopted was here too with his family. The Summers family was huge, and we use to joke that probably everyone will found out they were somehow related to a Summers. They even had relatives living in Shi’ar. Bishop and his grandson attended the party. His daughter had asked him to take the boy with him for a time, so that he may learn more of his heritage from earth. Aliyha was the majestrix of the Shi’ar empire, taking the throne after her mothers death. Bishop was one of the largest men I’ve seen. He was even bigger than mr Rasputin, and I’ve heard great tales about him, when he was an X-man. I was about to follow my father to greet him, when someone tugged my arm. I turned around, and had to bite my tongue when I faced Bella.
“Stop laughing thick head. Ah’m Scarlet O’Hara ya twit! She dressed like this when she went to see Rhet Buttler in jail!� I was reminded that it was very hard to masque your feelings when being around an empath. She wore a dress, seemingly made of some very old curtains. White with large green flowers, a lace bonnet and an umbrella. She glared at me.
“Besides, ya don’t look so great either. Who are ya supposed ta be? A drowning victim?� She sniffed and folded her arms in a very un-lady like manner.
“You look great Bell...honestly!� I bent down and kissed her. She returned the kiss, sullenly.
“And I’m supposed to be Hanibal Lectar� I whispered and bit her ear. She laughed and slapped me.
“Oh gross! Ah can’t believe Ah’m actually gonna move in with ya� It took a while before I realized what she said. She rolled her eyes at my surprised look.
“Really you want to? I’ve looked at an apartment on Lensherr street, it’s small but..� She interrupted me.
“Lensherr street? That’s an expensive neighborhood Jimmy, can we afford it?�
“I’m gonna get a promotion, so yes we can afford it.� Her squeal of delight made many heads turn our way. She flung her arms around my neck and kissed me.
“Oh Jimmy are ya sure?? That’s so great!� We had talked about moving in together. Bella was in college, taking a major in economics , while I’d been working for six months at Stark Enterprises. Bella had sounded unsure when I first brought it up, but now, she left no doubt that she was ready to take the step. We had been a couple for four years, and with my work and Bella’s studies we didn’t meet each other as often as we wished.
“Have ya told yer folks?�
“No not yet, I wasn’t sure if you wanted to. But I will tell them now. “
“Great, Ah’d to tell ma an pa too. But wait Jimmy, come outside with me. I need ta tell ya sum’thin� I looked at her askance, feeling worried at her now serious expression. She took me by the arm and I followed as she started towards the backdoor. We pushed away the cobwebs covering the doorway as we entered the backyard. A small pathway led to the huge swimming pool, now illuminated by lights. A pool house was illuminated from within. There were several people outside, talking, eating and drinking.. We nodded hasty greetings before Bella dragged me on, behind the pool house to a small lilac bower. The scent of lilacs was almost too strong for my senses.
“What is it Bell?� My worry increased as I now sensed the fear from her. She took my hand, stroking the back of my hand, fingers lingering on my sensitive knuckles. I had exercised before we went to the masquerade, and the skin was a bit sore from releasing my claws.
“I’ve found out something about your parents. Your real parents.� She held her hand firmly against my knuckles and looked me in the eyes. Fear, and resolve.
“What?� My voice sounded hoarse in my ears. I clenched my fists, her hands forming around my balled fist. Later I would realize how much courage and trust she showed. Knowing that I could release those sharp claws, hurting her when I lost control.
“Ah overheard mah folks talking before. They didn’t know ah could hear them. They didn’t say much, and ah wasn’t paying attention ‘til they mentioned them. It’s possible that ah heard wrong Jimmy.� She sensed my impatience, made clearer as I started to growl. She didn’t flinch, didn’t avert her eyes.
“Ah’m sorry baby…but ah think yer folks were killed...murdered�

Silence met her words. My heart was pounding madly. I felt the sting in my knuckles as the three bone claws broke through my skin. I had only released the claws in my right hand, not those in my left, the one she held, confident I wouldn’t hurt her. She continued without waiting for an answer from me.
“Mama said something about how it would be nice to see the others. That it would feel like the teams would assemble again, but it would be sad that some were missing. She mentioned aunt Jean, Nightcrawler, Cain and your parents. Papa got angry when she mentioned yer folks and told her that it was that murdering mother fuckers fault they weren’t here. And that he never should had trusted that “sick fuck�. Mama hushed him up, telling him that they had promised never to bring it up, and if he couldn’t keep his mouth shut they should have let the professor mind-wipe them like he had sugested…� Her mouth moved, more words spilling, but I didn’t listen anymore. So...this was the secret they tried to hide from me? My parents wasn’t killed in an accident, they had been murdered. The blood was pounding madly in my ears. Had Xavier erased the memory from other peoples minds? How many knew? Did Hank and Cecilia knew? Why wouldn’t they tell me?
“Jimmy say something�
Who had killed my parents? Another mutant? Had they caught him? Why wouldn’t they tell me? Why all this secrecy? Was the killer still loose? The questions came at a mad speed, and as they were unanswered I felt my anger rise. I felt cheated and rightfully so. They had been my birthparents. I had the right to know what happened to them, and if they hadn’t caught the killer, it was my right to know and avenge my parents death.
“Jimmy. Please…calm down� I felt the burn in my knuckles, and Bella gasped as my claws ripped through my skin, cutting her hand. The scent of her blood filled my nostrils, mingling with the sickly sweet scent of lilacs.
“Leave me� I growled, yanking my hand from her. She took a step back, eyes wide.
“Jim..� She raised her hand, sticky with blood to my face, her fingers resting a moment at my lips before I turned angrily away. It was dangerous for her to be near me now. I could feel my anger turning to something ugly, dark and lethal. She sensed it, and still she wanted to stay, wanted to help.
“GO� I shout in a growl. I felt her blood in my mouth. Sweet, salt and…my senses goes haywire.

I can’t see, can’t hear. I’m in darkness, it’s warm, and I’m small, confined in the dark, warm water. Hearing muffled sounds, a woman’s sweet voice, a mans darker but comforting. I recognize them, it’s Mr and Mrs Lebeaus voices. How? I can’t tell. Suddenly, I’m moving, turning in the closed space, moving someplace even closer. It’s difficult, the sounds are getting louder, and the darkness gives away to light that hurts despite my eyes are being closed.
“Push. I see the head know. Lovely auburn hair. Push Rogue� It was Cecilias voice. The warmth gave away to the cold, the hurting light. I have been pushed out of the comforting small place, to a cold nothingness. I cry and flail my limbs. Something wet and warm is splashed on me, then I’m wrapped in something soft.
“Congratulation, you are proud parent’s to a beautiful baby girl.� I am put into strong hands, comforting arms. My crying subsides as I recognize the scent, and voices.
“Isn’t she the most beautiful thing ya ever seen?�
“She’s perfect chere, perfect.�
“Welcome to us, Belladonna Marie LeBeau� I am Belladonna. I live her life. Her memories become mine, and I relive her life, sensing her sadness and joy, her deep affection for her father and jealousy against her mother at first. I can somehow speed through her life, focus on some things, discard others.

“Did you do it?� I/Bella giggled at the red haired freckled girl, sitting in the bed in front of me. I nod, and Susie’s eyes widen.
“How was it? Tell me!�
“Messy mostly...and it hurt...quite a lot. But for the most part it was wonderful�
“Tell me everything! What did he do? What did you do?�
I feel myself blushing, and bends forward to speak in hushed tones.
“Well…we was in his room, and we started to kiss at first. Then he put his hand on mah breast and laid me back.� I told Susie how i made love to Jimmy for the first time, every detail. Susie was fascinated and listened to every word I said.
“He licked you? Down there? Eeew!�
“No no...it was the best!�
“Did you…you know…suck him?� We burst out in nervous giggles, but I shook my head.
“No ah just felt it. It’s strange. Hard and soft. And it was so strange, ‘cause when he growled, It turned me on�
“I haven’t even kissed a boy properly. I wish that Brandon would stop seeing me as only a friend� Susie sighed sadly. I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Brandon preferred boys and that I suspected that Brandon was in love with Jimmy.

I see with Bella’s eyes, listens with her ears as she learns the secret about what happened to my parents. I feel the pain my claws cause her, and suddenly her terror as I saw myself through her eyes, falling down .

The memories ended there and slowly my mind becomes my own, my senses my own. I lay on my back, hearing upset voices, someone is shaking me furiously.
“Pa, please don’t hurt him! He didn’t mean it� Bella was screaming. Her father was shaking me, and I felt his fist landing on my face.
“Remy stop, you're killing him!� There are a multitude of voices, My fathers and Mrs. Lebeau’s and others. The voices are all jumbled together, I can’t separate them. Pain racked my body as he once more hit me. They tried to get him off of me. Without thinking I raised my fist, punching without seeing and felt blood wash over my face. My claws were released, and by the terrified screams I know I had done something unredeemable to Bella’s father. But I had no time to think as I tasted his blood, and new memories fill me.

I relived Remy’s Life.

I relived Remy’s life.

Remy’s memories are more complex than Bella’s. There are so many details. So much pain, hurt and suffering. But also glimpses of joy.

I was Remy, experienced his first thoughts in the womb, relived the birth. I was the orphan, adopted by the leader of the thieves guild in New Orleans. I was the one trained in the art of thievery. His blood told me his life tale as he had lived them. I somehow knew that this was the truth. The blood couldn’t lie. I relived every moment of his life, but quickly as I knew I could shift through the memories quicker. When I/Remy met Stormy for the first time, I paused and took in the details. I felt Remy’s love and protectiveness for the woman in a little girls body. The wonder and love he felt and the deep bond was still there when she emerged as the beautiful woman. Confident, strong and a Goddess. I felt jealousy against her teammates that claimed her. Yet I followed her, couldn’t leave my Goddess. The memories were filled with battles against all kinds of opponents. Sentinels, mutants and aliens. Remy had lived a life so complex it could have been five men’s life stories. There were three women that always was in his heart. Belladonna whom he had married, Stormy and Rogue, the southern beauty who’s touch he longed to feel, but seemed impossible. The trial at Antarctic where his secret was revealed left me devastated. The on and off relationship with Rogue was a roller coaster ride. Heaven and hell. I hurried through most of his memories and cherished those of Stormy, lingered there. I felt his resentment against Wolverine. This feral brute that had a place in Stormy’s heart I never could occupy. It came as a chock when Stormy told me she was in love with Logan, and I was almost consumed with jealousy. It was the jealousy and the love I felt for stormy that started the fight. I had threatened Logan, telling him that if he hurt Stormy in any way, I would find a way to cheat that healing power of his, and kill him. We fought in a deadly fight until Stormy intervened. She was beautiful and terrible in her fury. It was hard to accept their union, but I loved her and tried to be happy for her sake. When they announced their engagement and that they were expecting a child, I was the first to congratulate them. My own relationship with Rogue deepened. We got married and like many of our teammates and mutants moved to Genosha trying to build up a semblance to normal life on the island. Rogue learned to control her absorption powers with Jean and the professors help. It had been an mental block that had prevented her to control it, and I was there to lend her my love and support when she fought with herself in the mindscape. Then came the terrible memory of that night.

I woke up by a loud thunderclap. Jerking up in bed feeling the heat in my hand as I unconsciously charged up, feeling for my staff that rested against the wall at the head end of the bed. Violet shimmer lit up the room, and Rogue woke up next to me.
“What’s the matter sugah?� she came instantly alert as the sky outside lit up with flashes of lightening, followed closely by thunder. Rain was pouring heavily. A storm was raging. We went up and looked outside the window. Dark clouds were boiling in the sky. Trees were whipped into frenzy, swaying and bending dangerously.
“Ororo� I whispered. Holding my staff I didn’t listen to Rogue’s shout as I ran out of the bedroom, down the stairs and out. The winds knocked me off my feet. Ororo and Logan’s house were a few yards from ours, and the fury of the storm was directed at it.
“Hold on sugah� I felt myself being lifted up. Rogue flew me in her arms, braving the hurricane winds. The roof of Ororo’s house was scorched, tattered remains that had given away to nature’s fury. It wasn’t a natural storm. The rain blinded us, but I held on to my wife and she pushed on. Lightening struck in rapid sequences and she had to dodge them, narrowly missing. The few yards felt like thousand of miles. After what seemed like hours we finally could land, amongst the war zone. The scene unfolding was terrifying. Blood covered the walls, the stench of burnt flesh nauseating. Debris from the walls, roof and furniture was scattered everywhere. We couldn’t move, feeling paralyzed as we saw the once beautiful home of our closest friends lie in ruins. Ororo’s plants were trampled on, cut drenched and scorched. Lightening struck and a wall gave away, falling with a sound that almost beat the sound of the deafening thunder. Ororo came flying backwards, slamming onto the floor. Blood gushed from a wound on her chest, no her throat. Her eyes were misted over, energy crackled around her. She held on despite the fatal wound. She saw us, standing there, and then let go of the child in her arms. The child was crying but seemed unharmed as she somehow managed a wind to lift him, to carry him to Rogue. Another lightning struck and we heard a howl of fury. Next, Logan came stumbling, pushing trough debris that had buried him. The sight of him nearly emptied my stomach. His skin was scorched, black and blistered. It healed, but went black again. He was burning. The flesh had been torn from his face, and body, given glimpses of the adamantium clad skeleton. His claws were out and he charged on. Rogue held on to the child and me as the winds picked up in fury, threatening to blast us off. I fought against her hold, to get to my padnat as I came to the horrible realization she was going to die, by the hands of her husband. Wolverine pushed against the winds. As she directed the winds to hold us off, there wasn’t enough strength in her to keep her husband away. I felt myself die when the beast tore down on her. His claws sank into her chest and he howled with a fury that matched the storm. A last lightening seemed to burn the sky and the thunder shook the ground as my love, my friend gave up her final breath

The winds died and we were released. I ran without hesitation, without thought against the beast. He was standing, crouched over the woman he had claimed owned his heart, a woman he would give his life for. He didn’t face me and didn’t move. My staff hit him, and he flew back, landing on the floor. I met his gaze and saw that the fury had died, replaced by recognition, and then realization and horror. He howled a cry of such desperation, pain and sorrow it would have broken my heart if it wasn’t already broken. I felt only hatred. Rogue screamed something, I didn’t hear.
::Gambit don’t do it!:: Xavier’s voice was in my head and I felt him try to hold on to me, to paralyze me. I pushed him off my mind as I drove my staff into Wolverines chest. He didn’t fight me. Tears were running down his burnt flesh. I channeled energy, as much as my body held through the staff into his body. His metallic skeleton shone with the energy as it engulfed him.
“Let it go� He whispered, and I did that. The explosion knocked me backwards. The heat scorched me could have burned me if my wife hadn’t caught me and flown off. The house shook and then it went down with a nightmarish sound.

The silence afterward was only broken by the child’s crying. My wife cried, silent tears and held on to us as she flew down to the ground. I couldn’t cry. I could only stand there, looking at the collapsed building. The rain had stopped as the clouds had disappeared, leaving the sky clear and star clad. The others came. Xavier, Beast and Cecilia, Angel and Psylocke. Cyclops and Phoenix, Nightcrawler, Cable, Shadowcat and Colossus and many more. They worked to lift up the debris, looking for their bodies. I couldn’t watch as Ororo’s broken body was found. My charge had killed Wolverine, the heat was enough to vaporize the adamantium and pulverize his body. There was talking. Xavier couldn’t explain what had happened, why Logan had killed his wife. He hadn’t been able to reach any of them. He had linked his mind with mine, followed me in my mind as he assembled the others to Ororo’s home to lend aid that came too late. None could understand this devastation, they all felt numb it was surreal and they cried. I was dead. Beast and Cecilia wanted to raise the child. They couldn’t have their own, and no one argued. I knew Rogue loved the boy, but I couldn’t stand looking at him. He reminded to much about his parents and it pained me. Xavier offered to ease the pain from us, to erase some of the memories from the night. But we all declined. We swore however to not speak of this night, how they had died. Mostly for the child’s sake. There were many mutant’s living in Genosha, and they hadn’t been X-men. They weren’t family and it would only hurt the boy if he knew, if other’s new about his parents fate.

Time went slowly and painfully. Some let themselves heal, other did not. It took a long time for me to finally allow myself to live. It was the birth of my daughter that healed me. She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. She captured my heart like none other. For the first time since Ororo died I felt love. I cried when I held her in my arms for the first time. My wife understood and let me cry all those tears I'd kept inside for almost two years. It wasn’t only tears of sadness for my friend, but tears of joy at this new life, this miracle in my arms and I love Rogue like never before for staying with me and loving me. We named her Belladonna Marie, to honor the three most important women in my life. My first wife, Ororo who’s name meant beauty, and Anna-Marie, my wife.
The life as a parent was the most frightening, yet rewarding experience I ever had. I thought I would go insane with all the worrying. Rogue berated me for spoiling my daughter, and true because when she grew older, she realized I was the one she could turn to and ask for outrageous things, ‘cause I didn’t have the heart to tell her no. I could have destroyed her completely, but she grew up a strong, confident and smart child. She was a handful and showed treats from both of us. From me, she had the knack of finding trouble, but seemed to charm her way out of punishment. From Rogue she had her temper, and yet her compassion and intelligence. When she befriended and later started dating James, I felt resentment. As a teenager, it was her mother she turned to for support and advice as we started to argue more and more. I didn’t want her to see the boy. I didn’t trust him, even if he was the child of my best friend, he looked to much like his father for me to trust him with my daughter. Rogue and I quarreled. Bella hated me when I forbid her to see him. But like any father of a teenage daughter I realized you couldn’t control them as you wished. I had to budge or I would lose her forever. I could never in my heart accept James. He had his mother skin tone, her height, but his father’s features, the dark hair and blue grey eyes. Even if he had his mother’s, or more likely his adoptive parent’s gentle ways, I could feel his true fathers spirit just beneath the surface. When we faced and I provoked him, anger showed in his eyes and he had a hard time to contain it.

The memories continued. I followed what seemed like my life, when Remy struggled to keep Belladonna from making the same mistake as his padnat had done, and his everyday life. He went on some missions, both for Xavier’s sake, but also on behalf of the thieves guild. Jean-Luc, his adoptive father was getting old and wanted Remy to step in as the new leader of the Guild. Remy refused. Belladonna was intrigued and despite her parent’s wishes she charmed her grandfather to teach her the trade. When her parent’s found out, they wowed to never let her go back to New Orleans. They broke that wow the next year. Rouge become pregnant again, and Remy had to watch how Belladonna’s relationship with James deepened. I shifted through the memories quicker, feeling it would soon come to an end. Halloween came and he spoke for the first time of the event that happened over eighteen years ago. Still feeling hatred for Logan. Then came the night, and his fears that James was truly the child of Wolverine were proven true. He was drawn to the commotion outside. Saw his daughter bleeding, bending over James who’s blood marked claws were released, and eighteen years of suppressed hate emerged. He was bent on killing the son of a murderer.

The darkness gave way to pain as I absorbed the last of Remy’s memories from the blood.

My consciousness returned and at first I could only hear wordless distant sounds, made clearer as my hearing was the first of my senses that I regained.
“I can sense him now� It was Xaviers voice. My face was hurting and I tried to open my eyes. Where was I? I was laying down, on a bed and smelled chemicals, heard the buzzing of equipment. How long had I been unconscious?
“James, can you hear us?� Hank’s voice, worried and tired, sad. So many emotions. I tried to answer but only a pained sound escaped my lips. His soft furry hands traced my face. I was being healed but slowly as I had inherited my fathers healing ability. I was in a medical ward.
“Don’t try to speak. Everything will be fine.�
“B..Bell?� I managed to speak her name.
“She is fine Jimmy, she will be here soon.� Hank answered. I had more questions, more things I wanted to tell, but my voice failed me. I couldn’t open my eyes. How was Mr LeBeau doing?
::Remy is in a critical condition James. Warren and your mother are attending him. Please, rest and let your body heal:: Xavier’s voice was soothing, suggestive. I tried to fight it off as I felt myself drifting off.
“What happened Charles? Why couldn’t you sense him until now?� I heard my father ask as sleep tried to overwhelm me.
“I don’t know. Oh God…!� Xaviers deep intake of breath made me fight harder to stay awake.
“What is it?� Hank took my hand, holding it hard
“He knows. He…he learned…there’s so much. But how is that possible?�
“Charles!� He almost shouted in a near growl, exasperated and fearful. There was silence and I had almost drifted off when I from afar heard Xavier’s wary voice.
“James somehow absorbed Gambit’s life. No he hasn’t drained him…only he knows every part of Gambits life. It was the blood. Like Rogue’s power, he can absorb peoples memories, but not by touch..he does it by tasting their blood. He can do that without erasing their memories and apparently without stealing their powers. It seems he absorbed Belladonna’s memories too. This must be his true mutation, his secondary mutation as the others seemed to be legacies from his parents. It could explain why I was not able to reach his mind before. He was absorbing from Gambit�
“How does that affect him? Is he changed? Has he got Remy’s and Bella’s personalities?� My fathers voice was faint, seemed far away. I could hardly hear Xavier’s answer.
“No at least I don’t think so. His brain pattern are the same. He remembers what he absorbed, but more like a tale told.�
“If he knows everything Remy knew…�
“Yes Hank…he knows what happened. I think we need to assemble the others.�
Father said something, lost to me as I fell asleep.

I awoke with a scream, bolting up and claws at the ready. I was alone in the dark ward. Only small lights from the displays shone, in green, blue and red. I could feel my heart pounding and sweat dampening my brows. My dreams had been of Remy’s memory of that night. I saw how my father drove his blades through my mother, again, again and again, howling with fury and madness. Remy’s memories came flowing back, and I felt nauseated. I started to shake, my whole body trembling and I raised my knees up to my chest in the bed, cradling my arms around them as the trembling increased. Why had he done it? None knew. Not even Xavier. But they had known he killed her, slaughtered my mother, and they hadn’t told me.

I had been old enough to witness what he had done, but I had suppressed the horrifying memory. My memories of my birthparents hadn’t been clear. When I saw pictures and footages of my mother, I felt love and sadness. Pictures of my father had given me unease when I was younger. I was afraid of him and hadn’t known why. The fear turned to resentment and hate with time, and I still didn’t know why I felt that. Hank and Cecilia had told me great stories about him, and I had read about Logan, or Wolverine as was his codename when he was an X-man. I remembered one time, when I was seven years old and Hank was telling me a bedtime story about the X-men. This one featuring my father. I had started to cry feeling unexpected fear. Hank never spoke about him again. The stories about my mother I treasured and those I never tired of hearing.

Now all the fear and hate I’d associated with my father made sense, and a rage such I’d never experienced before filled me. Wolverine had taken my mother from me. He. That bastard. My father.

I didn’t realize I was moving until I stood on the cool floor, hearing a soft sound from a sensor probably installed to sound an alert when it registered movement. My father or someone else would probably enter the ward soon. They wouldn’t let me be alone for long. I didn’t want to see them or listen to their fucking explanations or excuses. They could all go to hell. It was their fault too. They should have known you couldn’t tame a rabid beast as Wolverine. He was dead, but that didn’t give me any satisfaction. He should have suffered worse before Remy plunged the staff into him. I would have made him suffer for eternity. It was I who should have made him pay. My body was healed, but my mind was hurting with rage and sorrow. I wasn’t thinking when I ran. I knew they would find me, and catch me before I went too far, so I had to go quickly. The door was locked, but it didn’t take long before I cracked the code and the doors parted, letting me out to the dimly lit hallway. I don’t know what I was expecting when I fled the ward, ran through the hallway’s, dodging, hiding and waiting until people were out of sight. It was dark when I came out. The air was cool against my bare skin. I was wearing a pair of boxer’s only. The cool air was soothing, and I paused, standing beside a statue of Magnus Lehnsherr, just outside the academy. Resting my palm at the hard marble surface I tried to calm down, to think about what I was doing, what I was about to do. What was my plans? I wanted revenge. I wanted to kill that son of a bitch that had sired me. But he was already dead, had been for almost twenty years. My claws slid on the marble as I fisted my hand. Then a thought hit me. The time machine. Hank had built a prototype that in theory should work. I had helped him building and planning it. It was a project out of curiosity mostly, because we didn’t plan on using it. Hank knew the dangers of tampering with time which he explained to me. But now I could care less. If it worked, I could go back in time and kill the bastard, preventing my mothers death. If it didn’t work, then to hell with it all. My world was falling apart. They had lied to me. I had hurt Bella and probably killed her father. They couldn’t trust me now, and I could never trust them,. Never forgive them for what they had done. I felt a tug at my consciousness, recognizing the probing of a telepath and I slammed up my shields, started to move at once.
I had inherited my mothers ability, at a limited degree to control the winds. I could whip up a storm, and let the wind’s carry me. But unlike her, this power wasn’t tied to my emotions, and I had to work harder to call the winds, forcing them to my aid. My feet lifted from the gravel path as a strong current lifted me up. Usually I didn’t dare to fly high, incase I would loose control and the wind died. But I was reckless in my anger, and flew higher than ever before. Flying above rooftops I choose a destination away from the academy, away from Genosha. I realized that to execute my plan, I needed more than my father’s time machine. I needed Nathaniel Essex, Mr Sinister.

From Gambit’s memories I knew the man as well as the Cajun did, I knew where and how I could find him. I pushed on, despite being tiered, forced my body and mind to endure the long flight, never taking a break. Genosha was a fairly peaceful place, mostly inhabited by mutants and considered a haven for our kind. Outside, peace was difficult for mutants to find. The governments made it a crime to harass mutants, but not many were convicted and they put no real effort to try make our life easier. Their philosophy seemed to be that if mutants find that life among sapiens was difficult, they should move, There were few places like Genosha and the mutant population was growing. From history lessons I knew Genosha had been destroyed several times, by sentinels controlled by sapiens, bent on destroying what they deemed a threat against the rest of the world. Organizations like FOH were ruthless in their hate. But still, there were many mutants living outside of Genosha, trying to live unnoticed, and many could get away with it, if their mutant-gene didn’t show visible treats. Some mutant’s lived like homeless people in the subways and alleys. Other lived like kings, like those in the Hellfire club. Not many knew that this exclusive club was run by mutants, and had been for many generations. The white queen, once an X-man had taken up her position as one of the most influential, rich women, and controlled the inner circle with iron fist, and she could have ruled unopposed if her opponent wasn’t the Black King, Nathaniel Essex. Mr Sinister had resources that easily could compete with Xavier’s. A genius and criminal mastermind that had tormented the X-men and other heroes from their past. He was ruthless, vicious and one of the most hated and feared men on the planet, on most of the known worlds. It was believed he was immortal. From Gambits memories I knew he could be charming as a snake, hypnotizing his victims before striking down. You couldn’t and should never trust him, never turn to him for help as he would make you pay in ways you never could fathom. He was dangerous and as evil as anyone could be. I knew that and still I didn’t care. I needed him.

Exhausted and half naked I came to one of the Hellfire clubs headquarters. I knew they wouldn’t let me see Sinister, until they made sure I wasn’t a spy. With Gambit’s memories still in my mind, I knew the right words to say to the guards, the right answers to the questions. They scanned me, both a physical scan and mental, which I allowed as I really didn’t care. I didn’t have any secrets. The headquarter was one of the highest towers in Manhattan. It rose like a shining pillar towards the sky, a finger pointing accusingly up. Inside it was as magnificent as it looked from the outside. I hardly took notice though as I was led towards an elevator. Two guards seemingly unarmed and dressed in suits escorted me. They smelled confident yet indifferent. Mutants I guessed with offensive powers. They had dressed me, in simple trousers and t-shirt before escorting me. The elevator took us down several levels. The facility insisted of chambers below ground, as widespread as the subways. I had passed the first checkup as I was allowed to this level. Here they had laboratories and it was Mr Sinister’s private levels. He wasn’t only the Black King of the Hellfire club, he was also a devoted scientist. A evil mad scientist, and I would let him make experiments on me to reach my goals. He knew of my intentions as the telepath who had scanned my mind must have told him. I knew he was eager to have his hands on a mutant with healing ability, and that’s why I was allowed to meet him, because I offered him my body. I started to feel uncomfortable being underground. I wasn’t claustrophobic, but I didn’t like it. I needed to feel the winds, see the sky and breathe fresh air. Here it smelled too much of all the people working here. I pushed aside my discomfort as I was led to a room. Dark glass covered the walls, the ceiling and floor was pristine white. The light was almost too bright. There was a table and two chairs, one was already occupied.
“That will be all. Leave us� It was one thing to know a man from memory, but I could hardly suppress a shiver when I heard that familiar velvety voice and met his scarlet eyes. Skin glossy white and raven hair. Mr Sinister hadn’t changed since Gambit first met him around forty years ago. He rose, and towered above me, movements fluid and graceful. He smiled, and it was the smile of a predator.
“James McCoy…or Howlet. The late Wolverines pup. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.� He approached me. The jewel in his forehead glowing red. He held out his hand, and involuntary I bared my teeth, growling. He laughed, a cruel spark in his devil red eyes.
“Yes I can see the resemblance. Your father was in need of housetraining too.�
“My father is Hank McCoy, Sinister�
“Manners James, it’s all about manners. You are my guest, so abide by my rules. Now sit and tell me why you are here� He placed a cold hand on my shoulder, and reluctantly I let him lead me to the simple metal chair. Sinister seated himself in front of me. Putting his elbows on the stainless steel table he let his fingertips meet. He knew the answer, but I told him anyways.
“I need adamantium�
“Adamantium.� He nodded, a slow smile curving his lips.
“I see. What do you need this expensive and very hard to obtain metal for?�
The unease I had felt hadn’t gone away. The clinically clean and small room was suffocating.
“I need it to be like my...like Wolverine.� The words were hard to say, I felt bile raise in my throat but suppressed it. I needed claws of steel to hurt him. I needed to become like him to kill him. Sinister didn’t hide his mirth.
“And why would you want to become like your father James?�
“I want to kill him� This came out easily, hate and determination in my voice.
“How do you plan to kill a man that has been dead for the last twenty years?� His voice was almost too soft, alluring. If it wasn’t for Gambits memories of this man, I would have hard to believe what a ruthless man he really was. I didn’t answer. He laughed and shook his head.
“You interest me James. I give you that. So you want an adamantium skeleton, and somehow go back in time and kill your father? All this because he killed your mother, and got killed himself in the process. Is your life so horrible that you have tamper with time, risk everything and everyone you know for a simple revenge? Tell me James, weren’t you happy with Beast and that harlot he married?�
“Fuck you� My claws broke free from my knuckles. He had no right to talk that way about Cecilia. Sinister chuckled and waved his hand
“Easy there Jimmy. I am curious, that’s all. But I won’t badger you with pointless questions then. I see that you have made up your mind. Let’s get to the point, shall we? Why should I give you the adamantium?�
I paused, and he watched me in silence, the slight curve on his thin lips never fading.
“I have healing powers, like Wolverine, my body could handle the metal transfusion.�
He didn’t answer, but I felt his impatience. He was a businessman, and his question was what I could give him in return for the adamantium.
“I could be useful for you�
Silence met my words, and I had to fight to not start squirming in my seat. He had an unnerving gaze, yet I held it.
“I have ways of knowing peoples memories, all that they have experienced since they were conceived ‘till the moment I…taste their blood.� I felt chills traveling up my spine at these words. What kind of freak power was that? I had never heard of anyone having this kind of ability. Under different circumstances, I’d never use this. I would never hurt someone to get information. Even now, when I felt I had lost everything that meant to me, I felt sick knowing that Sinister probably would make me hurt someone if he wanted proof. But I tried to harden myself. Whatever he did, whatever I did, it was worth it. I need to kill that bastard before he hurt my mother.
“Interesting� was all that Essex said. His red eyes stared into mine for what seemed forever, before he drew back, placing his hands flat on the table.
“I need proof of course, and I see that Ms Darkholme comes just in time with the subject with whom you will prove your worth.�

I turned my head towards the door as it opened. A woman, definitely a woman, with indigo blue skin, and deep scarlet hair entered with a grace only a snake could compete with. A simple piece of white cloth, that contrasted with her skin, clung seductively to her curves. Leaving her hips and slender legs bare. It was clasped around her neck, and when she moved, it seemed to tease a viewer with glimpses of her ample breast and rounded back. I knew this woman. Every soul that had studied the X-men’s history knew her, and I knew her from Remy’s memories. It was memories that he never had shared with his wife. I felt a stirring within me, but suppressed it, guiltily when I recognized the feeling I always thought I could only feel for Bella. Her sulfur colored eyes were cold and calculating. The cherry red full lips slightly curved in a cruel smirk. She tugged the silvery chain that ended up in a collar around a small..female. She looked like a bad crossing between human and wolf. Reddish long fur covered her hunched form. Her face was more like a wolfs, the nose more a snout that twitched as she bared fangs in a growl. She didn’t wear any clothes, but thick fur covered her breasts and privates. She looked malnourished, the eyes belonged to a suffering animal. The creature growled but didn’t resist the tug that made her stumble forward.
“Looks like his whelp alright. So what can he do about her?� Mystique’s voice was like her body, dark and seductive.
“Why do you think the boy can succeed when your most powerful telepath pet failed?� she urged on, twisting the chain and forcing the werewoman to heel. Essex merely smiled. He didn’t say anything, didn’t give me the slightest indication of what I was supposed to do. But I knew. Pushing away my guilt, shame and any attempt to think this thru one more time I move forward to the crouching creature. My knuckles burn as I release my blades. She bared her fangs, drool dropping down the floor, but she didn’t shy away or tried to attack. A quick slash and blood came trickling along the thin red line across her throat. I didn’t need to kill her to get what I needed, what Essex wanted. I raised a blood stained claw to my mouth and tasted the drops. As before I fell into darkness. I really didn’t know what I was looking for in this womans memory, so I didn’t rush forward as with Bellas and Remy’s memories. Rahne Sinclair. She had been an x-men, been hunted and captured, lost loved ones and lost herself to her animal side. I had known about her. It was believed she was dead. There even was a memorial stone in the Genoshian graveyard to her. Her codename had been Wolfsbane. Her memories were filled with pain and grief and I felt it as it was my own. I don’t know how long it takes for me to absorb someones memories as I seem to pass out. I don’t know what happens to me while absorb their life prior to when I taste their blood. When I woke up I was still in that small white room. Sinister was standing, seemingly at ease and looking, not at me but at Mystique with that small secretive smile. Mystique still had that chain wrapped tightly in her hands, a frown on her forehead.
“He is conscious now� a low raspy voice belonging to a small form wrapped in a dark cloak said. I felt dizzy and nauseous. The stranger moved forward and lifted his cowl. Impossibly huge eyes bore into me, held me fast and I could not escape when his eyes seemed to invade me. My senses was filled of him as he forced his way into my mind.. If I ever had thought Xavier’s mind probes made me uneasy it was nothing compared to this mind rape.
“What did he find?� Mystique sounded impatient, maybe even a bit worried I couldn’t tell.
“Whatever he found, it’s my business and I will inform you if I think it’s necessary.� Sinisters tone was as smooth as ever. What was going on between them? I could not concentrate on that. Mentally and physically I tried to break away from the strangers eyes, but he rummaged through my head, silent and still. The room fell quite and I don’t know how long I lay on the spotless floor while the stranger violated my mind. Finally Sinister sighed. A content sound
“Ah there it is, the answer I was searching. Thank you James.� The strangers presence withdrew and I took a shaky long breath. Breathing hard, my body was shaking. I tried to stand up. Only by willpower did I managed to push myself up and stay up.
“Kill the poor creature. She has outlived her usefulness� My scream of protest was blended with Mystiques. Essex laughed, a cruel cold laugh and Mystique took a step back, apparently horrified and surprised at her own outburst. The stranger turned his huge shining eyes on Rahne and she gave up a scream only a wounded wolf might give, before collapsing. Her body transformed, the form dissapperaring to show pale skin and a much smaller woman. Beautiful but tortured. Her eyes were green but the light of the living faded until it was gone forever. Mystique dropped the chain. I could only look at the woman, not knowing what I felt.
“Your taste suprises me Raven, but fear not I am sure there will be more odd creatures that will fill her role as your lover. If there only was time.� Then things moved at a mad pace. Mystique turned to run, when something hit her and she fell hard down the floor screaming. I turned to look at Sinister, he was holding a silencer, still smoking from the release. He walked calmly to the writhing woman and kicked her around so she came laying on her back. Her sulfur eyes burning with hatred she spit at him.
“Silly whore. How long did you think you could continue to double cross me? I always had my doubts about you, but now I got the proof, and I will get the answer on who you really are working for.� She kicked hard at him, attempted to and attempted to rise up, but her movements came to an halt as the stranger turned his gaze on her. She was frozen with one leg arched up and a hand against the floor.
“Keep her head animated. James, come closer� I obeyed without thinking, still numb as Mystique trashed with her head.
“You will regret this� she spat at him. He merely smiled and raised the silencer to point at her head. Firing, the gun made a soft sound and the spotless floor was spread with blood and brain matter. I wanted to throw up. My knees gave away and the pain jarred my body as I fell down next to the limp woman.
“..much blood do you need?� I looked up at sinister, finally registering he was talking to me. I shook my head. It was too much. I couldn’t do this! Cold hands clamped around my neck and I was pushed down, face first into Mystique’s body, he pressed my face down the shot wound on her shoulder. The scent of blood and death was too strong. I got it smeared on my face.
“We have a deal boy. Do you wish to end up like her? If a small task like this makes you hesitate, how can you possibly think you have a chance of even scratching Wolverine?� The contempt in his voice was ill masked, and ignited the fury within me. I was going to kill wolverine. I was. I forced myself to lick at the wound, quick so I couldn’t get second thoughts, and for the second time this day I passed out into darkness.

I can’t even begin to describe the horrors I saw this woman commit. Not even Gambits memories or Wolfbane’s could prepare me for the violence and cruelty Mystique had committed to people. She had her share of grief and pain, but instead of raising above the atrocities done to her, she had chosen to become like her tormentors. I was disgusted, sickened what I saw and yet I could not stop living her life, reliving it through her memories. The answer Sinister was looking for was there.

Mystique worked for several opponents to him, among which were the White Queen. That memory was locked away, hidden from a telepath. Same thing had been with Rahne that showed how mystique used her, both as a lover and possible tool to use against Sinister. I could easily access it however. When I had finished absorbing, the stranger invaded my mind again, this time with a more devastating force that rendered me unconscious.

When I woke up next time I was in a different setting. Sounds were muted and I first thought something was wrong with my hearing. I felt weightless, in fact I was floating. I had wrappings around my arms and legs, and then I become aware of a dull pain aching throughout my body. When I finally opened my eyes, I had to blink several times and then close them. I was in a glass tank filled with water. An oxygen mask had been strapped to my mouth and nose and bubbles rose from it when I breathed. Panic surged through me. What were they doing? What was Sinister doing to me? I tried to move, but my movements were slow and hardly created a crease on the water. I tried to scream but the mask and the water muted me. It was suffocating and terrifying. What was happening?
“Relax James. I am only upholding my end of the bargain.� I heard Sinister’s silky voice as if he spoke right into my mind. How was that possible? I twisted and trashed, movements slowed by the water.

My memories of that night in Sinisters hands are painful. Yet it was a nightmare I had been prepared to endure. The pain I experienced when the adamantium was injected into my body is impossible to describe. The heat of the molten metal burned through my flesh and I passed out so many times I lost count. Sinister was there all the time, talking and watching like a scientist would to a strange new experiment.
I can’t recall how long time passed. When the metal covered my bones and started cooling they lifted me up, strapped me against a wall like a chained beast. I had to endure that for several days while Sinister and his scientists took tests, tissue and blood samples. I was on fire and my body had a hard time to heal itself from the damage caused by the adamantium. Pain lived with me during those days.
I was weak when they finally pulled me down. They had to carry me to a room where I could lay on a bed and sleep. Exhaustion was the only reason that made me sleep for what seemed as days. Several more days went in Sinisters care. I had to get used to the weight of the metal in my body. I trained like I used to do, remembering Wolverines moves I had copied from the Academy’s forbidden files. Slowly and painfully I recovered. Each day I got a shot of something from Sinister. He didn’t tell me what it contained, only that it would help me recover more quickly.

When I finally had recovered, I was stronger than before. The adamantium made it possible for me to lift weights that I hadn’t been able to do. Sinister offered me a place in the hellfire club, and laughed when I rejected it. All that was on my mind was my revenge. He let me go, and I was relieved by that. Had I believed he would keep me at his side? Perhaps.

I could not summon winds strong enough to carry me back to Genosha, and there was no need as Sinister gave me a motorcycle. Another “gift� of his was a small chip buried in my temple that would scramble Xavier’s and other telepaths attempt to read my mind.
I felt bouts of doubt when I came to the island. How could I do this? How could I risk everything for killing a man that was already dead? But it was too late for me. To late to back away now.

***

This memory fades and I am aware of the light and humming sound. Somehow I can feel that I am slowing down, the machine is reaching the destination. New memories fill me. Shorter more rapidly. Just glimpses of occurrences prior to the time travel.

“Do you regret it now? Do you?� I growled those words at Xavier. My claws were released, dripping with blood. The old man was clutching his abdomen, pale, chocked and sad.
“I told you ,you would regret not telling me!�
“James, you were to young. Don’t you understand?� He sounded pained. His grey eyes looked at me, pleading, with regret. I bared my teeth
“I understand you’re a manipulating bastard that can’t let people decide for themselves!�
“Listen to me James, this is not what you have been raised to be. This is not what Henry or Cecilia raised you to become, what your mother wanted..�
“Don’t you dare mention my mother! She would have been alive if it wasn’t for you! Where were you, Xavier, the greatest telepath in the world when she needed you? She was always there for you and your stupid dream! But when were you ever there for her? For any of them?�

There is a flash and the images disappear, my ears are filled with the humming sound, now sounding more like drums.

“Please James, stop this madness� Bella is crouching by her bleeding mother. The tears obscure my vision. I turn and run

Another flash. My skin is itching.

“Stand down boy� My claws flash out and feathers from Warren’s wings fall down, he tries to grab me, but I am too fast, too determined. Could they not see I was doing what they should have done years ago? I was going to fix it, to make it all better.

The flashes comes quicker. My skin is no longer itching. It feels like it’s burning. The sounds get louder, more shrill.

“James I’m sorry we failed you�

I can’t see, can’t touch anything, but I try anyway. Am I on fire? What is wrong? The shrill sounds from the machine makes me want to clench my teeth and the pain would have brought tears into my eyes if I had any.

“James what have you done?�

Bella’s word is the last I remember before the machine stops.

I am falling. There is screaming sound in my ears as I fall heedlessly down in a spiral that is nauseating. How far am I falling? I don’t know. I will not survive it. I just know that. Not even my healing factor could help me survive this fall. It is like someone plunged me from the sky letting me fall to the ground. I think I am screaming, a sound that is drenched by the screaming in my ears. Then suddenly everything stops. Slowly I begin to regain my senses. I am laying face down. I can feel grass tickling my face. It hurts and I stifle a groan as I begin to feel my limbs. I move my fingers, caressing the soft grass. I begin to hear sounds. Bird chirping nearby, winds rustling leaves. My eyes hurt as I open them and I shut them again. Painfully I turn on my back, just laying for a while to let my senses catch up. I open my eyes again, blinking at a setting sun. Thin clouds marks the darkening sky. Where am I? With slow movements I sit up, trying to get my bearing. It is summer, late summer perhaps. I am in a grove, where a few trees grow and the ground is covered by tall grass and a few rocks. Is this the place where my parents, my adoptive parents had their house? In theory the time machine would send me to the exact place where it self was standing. I can’t recognize my surroundings.

I stand up and begin to move first in a slow circle. Looking at the horizon I could see no familiar sightings. If this was Genosha, and where Hank and Cecilia’s house would be, I would be able to see the Academy from here and the majors building on a hill. I could see the hill, where trees grow, but no building. How far back had it sent me? God why am I hurting so much? I raise my hand to my face, feeling wetness. Blood. I look at my fingers, raise them to my lips but hesitates and let my hand fall down. I don’t want to absorb whoever’s blood that is covering me. No more. I only had one more to kill. If he was here. I push aside the pain and my tiredness and began to move. I do recognize some things. An odd twisted tree, younger now but in which Bella and I used to climb on when we where children.
The pond where uncle Bobby used to teach me and Johnny fishing and turned into solid ice in the summer so us children could skate. Suddenly, while I am walking slowly through a dense ticket of tall bushes I hear sounds of people. I stop, dead in my tracks. As my hearing is enhanced they are too far away to notice me or hear me. Women’s and men’s voices. There is a lot of noises, I strain my hearing to try catching what they say.

“Scott darling, it’s getting late. Let’s wrap up and head back to the mansion� Was that Emma Frost?
“There is enough light yet. If Piotr can stop checking out Kitty he could put the roof on.� Laughter drifted towards me, and can’t stop myself from smiling.
“We need to see if the structure is strong enough for the roof Rogue. I would hate to see the entire thing collapse if the roof is too heavy for it.�
I recognized dad’s voice and had to close my eyes hard when tears threaten to fall.
“As if you an Forge haven’t made all the calculations for everything beforehand�
“Emma is right Rogue. It’s getting late. We’ll continue tomorrow. We have finished six buildings this day, which is a feat even for us. We need to rest.�
I knew now how far back in time I was. Thirty years back when they had begun to build up Genosha again. They were still the X-men. Fighting for mutant and human rights but lending aid to build Genosha when it was hit by the sentinels. I push aside a few branches and halted as I saw the destruction spreading out. I have seen it in footages, but it was nothing compared to being here. Blackened broken buildings, deep crates that told of the wounded earth. But there were new houses being built and grass and other vegetation growth. It was an odd sight seeing both destruction and rebuilding.
“Yank it mississippi. Slim need his “rest�, and by the look of it, so does gumbo.� I freeze on the spot. Recognizing the dark growling voice. Both from distant memories and from footages. Once it had been a voice that had comforted me. I can almost hear a soft lullaby sung by that voice that had put me into an easy sleep.
“Speak for yourself mon ami. It wasn’t me panting like a fish on dry land after carrying a few twigs� I choke back tears at Mr. LeBeau’s voice. No I would not fell any tears. He would live, they would all live and be happy after I’ve killed the threat among them. Fath…no Wolverine growls something lost to me as the others begins to move. My heart starts pounding when a tall slender woman approach him. I wish I was closer so I could take in her scent. She was so beautiful. I’m not close enough to see her features clearly, but I know who she is. That stark white hair marked her clearly even at this distant.
“How ya holding up ‘Ro?� Wolverines tone is soft. I can’t suppress a growl as he circled her waist with his heavy arm. I want to rush up there and then and force him away from her. He didn’t deserve anyone as beautiful and pure as her!
“I am fine Logan. It is much work to be done yet, but it is fulfilling. One day soon, mutants can live here in peace. At least we can hope for it.� Her soft voice is carried to me, and I feel the tears burning on my cheeks. Wolverine says something lost to me. I wish he could go away so I can have her, my mother for myself. But she moves away after giving him a kiss. So they were dating this early? Logan stays a few heartbeats before he turns and walk.

I sink back and contemplates what I should do. How can I get wolverine and when? The time machine hadn’t followed me, and I could not go back to my own time after I’ve done what I came to do. Another thing is bothering me. This is thirty years back in time, a good ten years before I was conceived. I would cease to exist in my timeline when I killed Wolverine. But that prize is worth to pay for my mother to live and the others to be happy. I will not allow myself to think of the things I would miss, so I push aside thoughts on Bella, on Hank and Cecilia and rise up. I tense suddenly when a presence make itself know to me. Startled I turn around and meet my sire face to face.
“Well son, ya gonna tell me what ur doing spying on us by yerself or have I ta force it out of ya?� Six claws of cold steel erupt from the skin between his knuckles and I meet the steel gray eyes of my mothers killer.

I know that wolverine isn’t a tall person, but still, it surprises me that I am at least a head taller than him. What did my mother see in him? I stand motionless. His brows furrows. Something about me takes him off guard. Did he recognize himself in me?

“Yer sick boy. What happened ta ya?� Sick? No I don’t feel good. The pain and nausea is still strong in me. He can probably smell it. There is a glimmer of pity in his voice and I can detect it in his scent. He is calming down and it dawns on me that he doesn’t see me as a threat. Anger envelops me, and I welcome it even if I know that I needed my head clear of emotions when fighting. But I can’t stand the pity in his voice. Without thinking I throw my self at him. He is surprised, I sense it, but he caught himself quickly direct a heavy punch at me that I barely managed to avoid. My body is aching and I feel blood running down my face. Shouldn’t it have coagulated by now?

“Yer not in shape ta fight son. Ya need to go to the hospital.� I spin and kick hard at him. He dodged it. I bare my teeth in a growl. He reeked sympathy. I release my blades never taking my eyes from him. A low growl escapes him and his eyes flashes over the blades back up to my face. His mouth twists in distaste, loathing.

“Who are ya? Ya some kind of fucked up experiment from Weapon X? a failed clone?�
Hate burns through me like white hot fire. I advance upon him, not thinking, not caring as long as I hurt him, as long as I could kill him. I Force the winds to my command. The trees surrounding us where whipped in frenzy. I can not keep it up long, my control over the weather is very limited and I have to fight hard to create hard winds that never could come even close in strength to my mothers hurricane storms.

“You killed my mother!� It infuriates me that he would think I was a clone of him. Couldn’t he see who I am? The satisfaction I felt when my claws rips trough his flesh is momentarily. I attack again and again and again, my fury increases as he does not fight back, just dodges. I managed a strong enough wind to slam him back against a tree. He grunts and twists away before I could throw myself at him. My blades cut a new wound on his arm. He grunts, but other than that I can’t see that I’ve slowed him down, or even tierd him. My strength is rapidly failing. I have to make this quick. I have to kill him. The winds die abruptly, easing back to the mild whiffs that hardly stir’s the leaves of the trees surrounding us. I don’t have strength enough to call for stronger winds.

“Calm down son. I dunno what yer talking ‘bout. I haven’t killed…� He wipes blood from his brow.
“SHUT UP� I shout and again I attack
“Shut up, shut up shutupshutupshutup. You killed my mother. Die you bastard die� I trip and fall, crying with rage and sorrow. Why can’t he just die? Why? I sense him crouching down to me, reeking of sympathy, concern and confusion. He has no right to feel concern of me. I can’t accept that from my mothers killer. I force away my tiredness, finding strength enough to strike out. I hear a fierce growl from him, before his fist rush down and darkness engulf me.


-------

When I wake up, I’m not sure where I am. A familiar face is hovering above me. The yellow cat eyes framed by dark blue fur, and that heavy comforting paw that wipes my brow.
“Dad…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to� He is surprised, I see that by the widening of his eyes and by the scent.

“It is all right son. Go back to sleep� I want to say more, but at that deep reassuring voice I was eased into sleep..

I catch snippets of conversation as I hover between consciousness and sleep.


-------

“Who is he?� I hear the voices faintly, like from a great distance, but they are standing beside me. I tried to fight my tiredness and pain, the nausea. I want to shout to Xavier and my dad, ask them to forgive me and ask about Bella, but not a sound escape my lips. I can’t even warn them for the killer that was with them beside me.

“I don’t know Logan. Didn’t he tell you?�

“No, all he said was that I killed his mother. But that’s impossible. How old can he be? Twenty? I haven’t…Why don’t ya know Chuck? Can’t ya see in his mind?�

“No I can’t. He seems to be shielded from telepathy somehow.�

“The scan shows a chip in his temple, that could be it. Do you think I should remove it? It should be safe. It doesn’t go deep�

“No Hank Let us wait until he wakes up. He won’t be well enough to do us any harm. have you found out what he is suffering from?�

“Is he a clone?� my mothers killer cuts in, and despite my state I can hear the disgust in his voice. I want to rip his throat out.

“I’m not sure Logan. He has striking resemblance to you. I don’t just mean the claws and adamantium, but he has a healing factor that should be able to heal him. I don’t know why it isn’t working. I need to do more tests. The treatment doesn’t seem to work. I’m afraid he’s getting worse.�

“What ya mean? Is he gonna die?� What was worse? His concern or his contempt? It burns through me nevertheless.

“It is possible�

I can’t process all that I hear. My mind and body is on fire. I am relieved when I fall into a dreamless sleep and can escape from the pain

.
-------

“James. I know you can hear me. Wake up boy� There is a jolt in my brain and I wake up, with a scream. It’s dark around me and I am alone in the ward. I’m still weak, still in pain and I can’t raise up or turn my head to look at whoever was speaking to me. I can’t see. My eyes are open, I know this, but all that is around me is darkness. I should at least see some lights from displays that were on the med devices around here. I can’t hear sounds either. Perhaps I’m dreaming.

“There I see you are awake. Splendid. Now let me introduce myself. But I’m positive you know who I am, even though I haven’t met you yet. I am Nathaniel Essex. Mr Sinister as I sometimes goes by.� Sinister? I feel cold suddenly. I clench my teeth to stop them from clattering. I recognized his voice. Where is he? How did he find me? No I must be dreaming this.

“Don’t bother trying to see me. I am talking to you via the chip my future self implanted in your head. It’s a comfort that I’m still clever in the future. Now boy. I know all about the deal you have made, and I have to congratulate you on your success. So let me now tell you about the second part of the deal.�

I don’t know how Sinister can hear me. My lips move but I can’t hear my own voice.

“What are you talking about? I haven’t killed him, that was the deal. The only deal you sick fuck! I’ve paid you� I hear his cold laughter in my head and my shivering increases

“No you haven’t…yet. But let me come back to that. I have a more pressing matter James. You are dying�

There is no regret in his voice, nor glee. He was laying down fact like a computer might. I don’t know what to answer. My mind is numb. Dying? I had been prepared to pay that prize. I had no way to get back to my own time. I can’t build a time machine without dad’s notes. But I couldn’t die yet. Not until I’ve killed Wolverine.

“You see boy. In many ways you are your parents whelp. I am sure you know that your powers over the weather was next to nothing compared to your mother. Didn’t it occur to you that you were in similar way inferior to your father? That healing factor of yours for instance. You haven’t really tried it to the extreme have you? Cuts and bruises it heals but what about more serious injuries? What about poisoning? Like that caused by adamantium?�

I close my eyes but see no difference. It was still pitch dark around me. What is he talking about? I was in no way inferior to wolverine. I had studied his fighting style. I could take him. I can kill him. I won’t die yet.

“Your body can not heal you. It is fighting against the poisoning and if it wasn’t for your limited ability to heal, you would have died far sooner. It is however fighting a loosing battle. The strain you have put yourself through, by the travel and fighting was too much. The chip in your temple does not only let me speak to you James, it enables me to monitor your body from where I am. You haven’t got much time left. I’d guess by the readings maybe twenty minutes if I stretch it.� He sounded like Professor Guthrie in my history class that enjoyed the subject far more than the student’s did.

“You knew this� I growl before I can stop my self. He laughs

“My future self knew, yes of course. I am a genetic scientist after all James. And by what I know about you, so should you. Now to the second part of the deal. I can save you.�
I open my eyes again, to darkness. My heart is pounding erratic and it feels like it’s pumping ice through my veins. Sinister stays silent, waiting for my question. I don’t want to ask him, but can’t stop myself.

“How? Why?� even if I can’t hear my voice, he picked up my suspicion and laughed again, mirthless.

“How? By giving you an antidote. I must say that the future looks very bright that they have invented things that makes nanotechnology look like something a toddler found out. My future self has sent me enough of the antidote, that I can give you from my remote location. It will allow you to recover enough of your health until my agents arrive to pick you up and bring you to me. I will have more of the antidote manufactured when you arrive and you will be given a dose a day that will keep you alive as long as you stay in my service. As to why. You have talents that I have use for my boy. Talents I can hone to perfection.�

“Fuck you. I have done my part you son of a bitch! You lied to me, you didn’t upheld your end of the deal. I have paid!�

“Ah James, James , James.� He sighs like he was explaining the simplest thing to a child

“The deal you made with my future self was that I’d give you the adamantium, no more no less. You should have known your body was too weak to handle it. And it amazes me how you managed to fool yourself that you, a whelp that barely have learned to walk could kill Wolverine. A man that has centuries of experience as a killer. Not just any killer, but the best of assassins. It amuses me now, and will of course amuse me in the future, enough to let you try this folly.�

It’s hard to breathe. I don’t know if it’s the rage that suffocates me or if it my body responding to the poisoning.

“Time is running. I will make this short and you have to make your decision. As I said I will know in the future that you don’t have a shadow of a chance to kill your father, so I in my kindness decided to help you. I once again will marvel at the wonders that the future beholds. In your body there is a poison, not detectable by any means we have now in this age. I had it made especially for your father as I had access to his genetic code. This poison or …virus, yes I guess you could call it that. It evolves slowly and undetectably it will spread in his body. His healing factor won’t see it as a threat, infact this intelligent virus will fool his body to think it is a natural part of his genetic code. So for instance if your father will be fatally injured, drenched of all his blood and burned to charcoal so that he has to heal from scratch, the virus would be recreated. Now to the juicy part James. When the virus has evolved to a certain point, it will stuck. Fast and without warning.�

I’m not sure I’m breathing even if I fight to do that. My mind is screaming something, it’s if I have claws in my brain that tear everything. Rips me apart. I wan’t to scream. I’m no longer feeling the body’s pain. It was nothing, nothing compared to the hell I in my mind stepped into as I fought against the slow realization of what I..no Sinister had done.

“Do you see where I’m headed my boy? See? You have killed your father, but not in the way perhaps that you intended. It will take time. My guess…ten years from now. It will cause him to go mad, unlock the raging beast within him that has been trapped by himself and those around him. It will break the chains and this beast won’t know friend from foe, hate from love. It will be in pain and lash out to anyone unfortunate to be in his way.�

I scream then. Never ending, I can’t hear my voice. The pain and cold is racking my body. I scream and force my hands up, claws out and tear at my face.

“James� He laughs while I tear at my own flesh

“You should have listened to them that told you that my prizes are higher than one expects boy. You made a deal without specifying it. You did not tell me that you wanted your mother to live for instance, just that you wanted to kill your father, but not how and not how fast. Ah…I talked too much. The time for the antidote has passed. A pity… I could have had use for you. Enjoy your last minutes of life James�

I don’t know if he left me,. But I don’t hear him. The darkness turns red and I can hear my voice screaming , can hear my claws rip into my flesh. Death couldn’t come quick enough, not painful enough. There is shouting and running and suddenly I have a presence in my mind. I want to show It away but instead I open my mind and sucked the presence in. Holds on to it. I’m feeling my life slipping away and holds on to the presence lets it see all that I was, all that I would not be.

“My God!� Hank exclaimed horrified at the sight of the young boy. It looked like he had been butchered by some animal, how could he had strength to do that to himself? How and why? He had only left the ward for a few minutes…a few minutes when he had heard the scream and rushed as fast as he could on all four. But it had been too late. The scent of blood is heavy and sickening. He could have thrown up there and then. It was just a child, a boy that he should have been here to save. His vitals had been critical, but yet steady enough he had believed. That was why he had allowed himself the few minutes it would take to get the soda.

He didn’t know anything about the John Doe, only that the boy had touched something deep in him when he had called him “dad�. He had never thought of the possibilities of having a child, and doubted he would ever get children. Even if he could win a woman heart despite his monstrous appearance, he wouldn’t be able to father a child. In his scientific mind, he had discarded it and didn’t think about it. But this unknown boy had called him “dad�, and from that moment he knew his perceptions were changed.

“Goddess� He didn’t need to turn to see Ororo in the doorway.

“Christ. Hank, what..?� Several people filed in. Ororo went to the boys side, followed closely by Logan. Tears where in her eyes. She lost some control as he could hear rain starting outside.

Logan had seen sights in his many years that would have turned hard men’s guts out, but this was almost too much for him. When he had first laid eyes on the boy he had seen something…almost familiar, but had shrugged it away. The boy had been sick. Bleeding blisters on his skin and was in such pain he couldn’t let himself to fight him. There were always young pups and screw ups that came searching for him to extract some kind of revenge. He always made short business of them, learning them a lesson they soon wouldn’t forget. But this kid was different. He had felt some kind of…connection with him. Not yet sure if it was some clone, or if it had been a misguided kid that had let the U-Men change him or something. He didn’t know who the boy was, but he would find out. He would find out why he thought he had killed his mother. He put his arm around Ororo. Her sorrow didn’t surprise him. She had seen the boy when he was unconscious and had held his hand. Her presence had calmed him which hadn’t surprised Logan. Ororo possessed the gift to give comfort and unconditional love. Her heart had went out to the boy, and she had understood Logan when he wanted to find out who he was.

“Good Lord� Even Emma, former White Queen of the hellfire club couldn’t be untouched by the sight. Scott squeezed her shoulder and steeled himself.

“We need to get out everyone. The Professor and Hank will…take care of him now. We can’t do anything more.� Some of the less hardened X-men were eager to obey and moved off the ward.

“I’m staying� There was steel in Logan’s voice, and Scott for once didn’t challenge him.

“I too will stay� despite the tears, Ororo’s voice was firm, and once again Scott didn’t persist. They left, and soon it was only Ororo, Logan and Hank standing silent by the young John Does body.

Charles Xavier knew that the boy had died. Both from his ailing body and from his own claws. The boy, James McCoy Howlet if what he had found out was the truth. Could it really be possible? That question is something you should use rarely considering the X-men. He already had proof of time traveling and alternative reality jumpers. He only had to look at Cable, Bishop and Rachel. But this… James story…Good God. He don’t even know if James was from an alternate reality or from the future…or if all was something concocted by a sick mind. But it was too detailed to be such. He had sensed James agony and had reached out to him. The thoughts of the boy had been frantic, painful and desperate as he tried to hold on till he had told him all that had happened. James had given him free access to his mind moments before he died and Xavier had seen it all. It was a knowledge he would gladly be rid off. No sane man would want a handbook to the future, to know all the sorrows or even joys that awaited. If it were true, he could not feel any anger at James. Not when he knew the pain the boy had felt.

Xavier stroke a hand over his face. He had to speak to Logan, if it was true, he had to do all in his power to find that virus before it was too late. For a moment the thought struck him that maybe James was right, but discarded it guiltily. He couldn’t sacrifice one to save another. But how was he to prevent the possible tragedies that would happen by James actions? Logan had been injured but had healed from the fight with James. Possibly their blood had mixed and the virus had entered Logan’s body. How could he detect it? And how was he going to explain James existence without revealing too much? It was bad enough that he knew that much about the future, he could not let the others know. With a sigh, he straightened up in his wheelchair and continued on his way to the ward.

N’Dare Rose Howlet was crying like mad. It wasn’t silent little sobs, it was an cry of outrage. Tears streamed down her cheeks, blending with snot.

“I DON’T WAN’T HIM TO LEAVE!� She bellowed at the top of her lungs. Logan gritted his teeth at the sound of the little ones wailing. He shared a painful look with his wife.

“What’s that sound?� Jimmy pretended to look everywhere, and the girl sitting at the backseat of the car, let go of a glass shattering scream. He winched like his father did.

“Whatever you do son, don’t make her repeat that line� Logan lifted the box and followed his wife as she hurried with a smaller box up the stairs to the building. Two trucks were parked at the street, and Jimmy had marveled at how his mother, and Bellas mother seemed to think that there was space enough in that apartment to hold two truckloads of furniture, kitchen ware and God knows what. He wasn’t alone. His father and Mr LeBeau had grumbled, while helping them to load, and now unload. Bella was currently inside, arranging the plants his mother previously had carried up. Bellas little brother was two years older than N’Dare, and seemed much more content to let his sister go. He sighed and crouched so that he could look through the open car window at the little white haired banshee.

“ What’s this howling about Deedee? It hurts my ears, you know that don’t you?� Her crying didn’t stop, her little arms where folded and she turned her head from him.

“Won’t you come out? Please?� He regretted to be this close to her when the next scream seemed to shatter the air.

“I DON’T WAN’T TO!� He would be deaf for weeks.

“Please Dedee, I need you to tell me what you think about my place. You know…if you don’t like it, I won’t have it� Her crying stopped almost instantly. Se turned her sky-colored eyes to him, suspiciously. For a three year old, she had very strong opinions about anything.

“I promise you, if you don’t like the place, we will pack up and leave. Bella would be upset, but your opinion is important to me. But..� He looked sternly at her, as he saw hope lit up her tear streaked face.

“You have to promise to be honest, right? You will follow me up and look around. Then you will tell me truthfully what you think about it.� She sniffed once and dried her eyes with the back of one hand.

“Charlie is inside with Bella. And Uncle Remy is there too. He promised me that he would show you his card tricks, but only if you come out. And if you like my apartment, we will have a party and invite all your friends. Uncle Hank and aunt Cecilia will be invited and their little baby twins� She lit up at that. She adored Hank and Cecilias twins.

“Really?� she asked her big brother. He nodded solemnly

“Really. Now...are you coming?� It took a few moments before she nodded. He opened the car door, but didn’t help her out of the chair (as a three year old, she could manage anything by herself). She took his outstretched hand and jumped down to the pavement. They met their parents at the door.

“Daddy, daddy! Jimmy said he won’t move if I don’t like it!� Logan raised an eyebrow at his son. But it was Ororo who spoke

“James?�

“If she gives me an honest opinion yes. I can’t live in a place my sister don’t like. I can’t take the risk she wouldn’t come and visit me. Right?� He winked at them, something the snow-haired little girl missed. She tugged his hand impatiently and he let her drag him on.

Their parents stood and watched them go inside the tall building. Logan circled his arm around his wife’s waist.

“How ya holding up darlin?� he asked, sensing sadness in her. She sighed and edged closer to him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“It is harder than I imagined it would be. Letting him go after 19 years…�

“He needed a place for himself and the girl. And he’s only an half an hour away from us.�

“I know Logan…but it is still difficult. I am afraid it will feel empty and I will worry that he won’t eat properly.� He laughed suddenly.

“You don’t need ta worry about that darling. He’s learned ta cook pretty decent meals, he learnt that from the best, and he cleans his plate three times�

“That he learned from the best� She smiled at him. Father and son seemed to compete who could eat the most, not minding her disapproval at their slobbering.

“Bella is a good girl, and can take care of him.�

“Yes she is a wonderful young woman and I love her like my own daughter.�

“And you do realize that the little whirlwind we created will fill up the space after him?� She chuckled

“Yes, N’Dare Rose is a quite willful child.�

“Saying the least. She is a handful and more. Imagine what it would be like when she becomes a teenager. Could we ship her off to yer relatives in Africa? I’d like ta keep my sanity a bit longer. � He grinned when she hit him on his shoulder. But she responded his smile with her own. Their youngest child had a hot temper, and they both claimed she got it from each other.

“Better darlin?�
She nodded and hugged him.

“I love you Logan�

“Love ya too ‘Ro.�
Ororo bent forward and planted a kiss on his lips, a soft stroke, that he turned to a deeper kiss.

“Quit slobbering ye two! There’re children about!� Rogue didn’t sound a bit upset. She grinned at her two best friends as she walked toward them.

“Ah think they’re settled now. Remy’s still up there winning the heart of Deedee. Ah’ve got a serious competition�

“It is the price you must pay when you marry the most charming thief in the world Anna-Marie�

“It’s a curse� Both women laughed and Logan growled which made them laugh harder.

“wat’s so funny?� Remy came towards them, carrying the obviously enthralled girl while his son walked next to them, shooting annoyed looks at Deedee. Rogue scooped him up, which made him shout with glee.

“Nothin� Logan grumbled, and Ororo shook her head smiling. Turning Logan looked at the street sign with a furrow between his brows.

“Lehnsherr street. Hmph. My kid is living in the street named after one of the biggest fuc…screw ups in history. Never thought I’d see da day�

“Much have changed mon ami. Wen Magneto died defending Genosha from the last wave of Sentinels, he was officially declared a hero. By both mutants and humans. His death gave Genosha and other mutant haven’s amnesty.�

“No need ta give me history lessons gumbo. I was there.� Silence fell between the adults and they contemplated the changes in their life. Both good and bad. They had lost friends, too many friends to reach part of the dream. Mutants lived in peace at least in Genosha and other havens, but still there were many parts in the world where they still were hunted. They were still X-men. There had been talk of disbanding, but as long as there were threats to both humans and mutants they couldn’t leave their responsibilities, even that many of them now had families.

Deedee reached her little arms out to her father and he scooped her up. He could still feel amazement and a slight disbelief when he saw his children and his wife. Many years ago he wouldn’t have believed he could have a family of his own. Who of them ever did? That playful and often seen as the class clown Bobby Drake would marry first of them all and now had three kids. That Jean who returned re-married Scott and finally could have children that weren’t born in an alternate reality? Hank and Cecilia adopted children, and now despite what the devoted scientist had believed Cecilia had given birth to twins, making them a family of six. Rogue and Gambit had their family and maybe most surprising of them all, he, Logan had too. A wife that loved him and owned his heart and soul and the children. James had came early in their marriage. He had been afraid to have kids, even opposed to the notion when Ororo first brought it out. One reason was that he wasn’t sure that the lethal virus he once was infected with was really removed and he didn’t want to leave her alone to raise a kid by herself. The other reason was that he would fail as a parent. But when James was born, he couldn’t escape the feelings. How could he protect himself from child’s love and trust? He still worried that he would fail, but now that James was grown and was moving out, he couldn’t be more proud of the kid. And perhaps of himself.

It was as if ‘Ro sensed his thoughts because she gave him a amused look. He grinned at her. Deedee pulled at his sideburns like she used to do when she was just a few months old, and giggled when he growled playfully. She had come late in their marriage, when they almost had given up hope of getting more children. They had miscarried one, which if it wasn’t for James and their strong love could have destroyed them.

“Are ya comin to the barbeque tonight? Ah’m gonna try keep Hank from burning the steak’s too much�

“No, we will just leave N’Dare at your house. Would you mind having her over the night?� Ororo asked stroking strands of white hair from the little girls forehead.

“Ofcourse not sugah. So what are ya up to?�

“It’s our anniversary� replied Ororo with a smile

“Oh mah God, Ah’d forgot. How many years? Twenty? Congratulations!� Impulsive as ever, Rouge, with her son in her arms strode to hug both Ororo and Logan.

“ Twenty, Jeesus. Ah’m feeling old! So how are ya gonna celebrate it? Romantic dinner at a fancy restaurant?� She asked with a huge grin, knowing that wasn’t Logan’s thing.

“Nope we’re goin huntin� He shot a look at his wife, a look she recognized all too well, and he had to bite back a growl when he picked up –that- scent from her.

“We better erect the forcefields. Storms puts a damper on barbecue’s� Remy added dryly.

After saying goodbye to the young couple and giving them well wishes they made ready to go back home.

“I’m gonna mejjy uncle Jemy when I’m big, daddy� Deedee declared confidently, which made the older women start laughing again. Logan couldn’t help but laugh himself.

“Now that would be a nightmare�