She found him eventually; in the garden behind the mansion, sitting motionless on the stone bench his face buried in his hands. She paused when she saw him fighting back a sudden desire to reach for him, to offer him what small amount of strength she had left to ease his suffering. He was still wearing his suit, though it was thoroughly disheveled, his tie hanging loosely around his neck and the two top buttons of his shirt undone. She hadn’t expected him to come to the service; he’d said or grunted as much when Marie had asked him yesterday. But she’d seen him leaning on his bike in the parking lot of the tiny church as she and the others had shook hands and exchanged hugs and tears with the guests as they left. His back was toward her, shoulders slouched in his navy blue suit and with no doubt that damnable cigar between his teeth. He’d lifted his head a touch as if he felt her gaze move across him but she had looked away before he could turn, unwilling to look him in the eye and to have him do the same.
“You’ve been avoiding me,” he said quietly, pulling her from her thoughts.
“It was not intentional,” she responded, moving towards him again.
He lifted his head and looked up at her, “Wasn’t it?”
Stopping in front of him Ororo looked over his head pretending to find interest in some far away point behind him. “Yes,” she responded softly. “Maybe it was.”
He sighed and leaned back, running a hand through his dark hair. “S’okay,” he mumbled, “sometimes I want to avoid me too”.
She smiled at that, and finally looked him in the face, her heart clenching at the raw pain she saw displayed there. “Logan,” she said quickly, kneeling in front of him. “You need to understand. I know that you loved her...”
“Ororo…”
“Please, let me finish.” She stared at the grass in front of her searching for the right words. “You may have loved her Logan but to us she was family.”
He didn’t respond, and she frowned a little as she gripped the grass in front of her.
“Between us it was more than love, more than friendship, if I could have done something differently, if I could have changed places with her…”
The wind picked up around them and Ororo sighed softly, willing herself to regain control.
“She’s gone Logan… and Scott?...” Her voice fell to just above a whisper. “You can’t imagine how much you’ve hurt him…” She paused for a moment wanting to look up at him. “There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for him… I’d…”
“Die for him.”
Her eyes hardened instantly with complete and absolute surety. “I’d kill for him Wolverine.”
Logan stiffened, Ororo refused to kill, it went against everything she believed in. She was trying to tell him something, warn him maybe. He was reminded suddenly of a silver haired wolf he had come across on a pit stop going up the Trans Can. He’d wandered a little to close to her den it seemed and she’d come forward to tell him to back off. Her silver fur bristled in the moonlight as a low growl pushed past her lips. He remembered the sharp look in her silver blue eyes and assumed Ororo’s would hold the same if only she would look at him.
“Still,” she continued slowly. “You should be able to grieve.” She placed a hand on his leg. “And I want to be there for you,” Ororo’s voice broke on the words. “But I can’t forgive you.” The scent of her tears stung the inside of his nose. “…for killing my friend.”
Logan recoiled, feeling as if he’d been slapped in the face. “I didn’t…” he stammered, “..it wasn’t…”
“He doesn’t know if she died loving him Logan… or if she died loving you.” She ran a nervous finger through her hair. “And it’s killing him,” she whispered. “More than losing her.”
Logan gripped Ororo’s shoulders raising her to his eye level. “Look at me Storm”
She shook her head, closing her eyes tighter.
“If I could change things I would, I’d do anything to have her back even if that meant she’d be with him.” His voice cracked as he tried to strangle back a sob. “…anything, but I can’t change what happened, and I don’t know what you want me to do. I’m drowning here…I’m…”
She felt his grip on her arms loosen as he dropped his head to chest. He was shaking, his body racked with silent sobs. Opening her eyes she looked down at him watching as one of the strongest men she knew crumbled in front of her. She reached out to touch his hair wishing she could smooth away the pain with her fingers.
He pulled her against him suddenly; sliding his arms around her tightly and leaning his head against her chest wanting to bury himself in her the comfort of her softness, her scent. She folded her arms around his shoulders and leaned her cheek against the top of his head. Willing for the moment to be his life preserver in their sea of tears.
“I’m sorry” he whispered.
“I know.”
He pulled back abruptly, needing to look in her eyes, needing to see her belief in him reflected in those chocolate brown orbs.
It was as if time stopped, when their gazes met. Slate grey eyes bore intensely into brown ones, for the first time he realized, since Alkali.
“Logan,” Ororo whispered, his name creating a soft breeze against his lips. “What is…”
Her words were cut off as he closed the almost non existent gap between them crushing his mouth against hers with a soft throaty growl. Burying his fingers in her hair he pulled her closer towards him, losing himself in the sweet softness of her mouth.
Ororo clung to him tightly as he hauled her on to his lap. She settled her legs on either side of his waist, tugging possessively at his lower lip with her teeth as his hands traveled down the length of her back and slid around to the front of her jeans.
She pulled away from him as his fingers brushed against her stomach, the sound of his heavy breathing echoing her own. Tentatively she reached out to place her hand against his chest, momentarily lost in the soft thud of his heartbeat.
“’Ro?”
She looked up at him, shaking her head as if to pull herself from a trance.
“I’m sorry,” he continued. “You’re… you’re not…”
Ororo slid off his lap, pushing away the sharp pain she felt in doing so. “I’m not her,” she whispered.
And fled the garden back to into the house.
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