She knew when it was time to go it would be difficult. She would miss him. Despite what happened Logan was still a part of her. A part that helped her coupe with the emotional tidal waves in her life. He had become her release of sort because Logan never held anything back. He loved fiercely and he hated just as abundantly. Only his love was never hers to begin with. She should have been prepared for this. No one stayed in her life for very long; it was a simple statement of fact. It didn’t matter that he lasted longer then the others. Nor that she thought she’d finally gotten it right. Deep down she had always known her time with him was limited.
Ororo shuddered inwardly. She must put aside her suffering until she had left. Instead she had to find Scott and try to repair the damage she had wrought. Why could she not have reframed from confronting Jean? Goddess! What if she had inadvertently destroyed the only person she could now call friend? She must find him and make things right for him. Then she would leave……Logan.
His name echoed unbidden in her mind. A lone tear slid slowly down her face. She should be used to being passed over for another but this unending ach was more then she had ever dealt with. And still she wanted him, loved him.
“Ororo……we need to talk.”
Her back stiffened at the sound of his voice. She signed. Not now! She did not want or need this…..reminder of what was lost to her.
“I am exhausted, Logan. This must wait.”
“It can’t darling….?” She wiped around. Her eyes full of anger and pain.
“Do not call me that!” she spat out angrily. “You no longer have a right to do so.”
“Ro let me explain.”
Ororo lost her last shreds of patience with a biting laugh. “Explain? What is there to explain, you’ve been obsessing over Jean since the moment you arrived. Now you no longer have too. Congratulations, you won! You finally have what you’ve wanted.”
“That’s not true. What you walked in on was a mistake. I was frustrated and she…”
Her hands clenched and her voice dropped, quivering with outrage. “ How dare you stand here to my face and try to talk away what I saw with my own eyes! And to imply I am the reason! Tell me, Logan did it not occur to you that I was afraid of taking the final step in our relationship? I held back because part of me always feared this moment. I denied your feeling for her for so long I was beginning to believe they did not exist anymore. But you’ve proven me wrong! You’ve gotten what you wanted regardless of the consequences. Was it worth it?”
She didn’t wait for an answer. She turned to stalk away but he grabbed her arm in a vice grip.
“I was a fool! I made a horrible mistake, but I won’t loss you because of it!”
“I was nothing but a convenient distraction, an itch you had to scratch, and we both know it! So do not pretend it was more then that!” she glared at him with scorn marring her beautiful face. Then she forcefully pulled her arm from him.
His voice hoarse with regrets, Logan held her gaze and did not flinch at what he saw there. “Deep down, you know that isn’t true. You are a part of me just as much as I am of you.”
“Really? Answer this, Logan. How long were you going to toy with me? How long were you intending to play with the both of us?”
He was silent; she knew she would not receive any answers. It was that knowledge that was like a knife in her heart slicing away the last rays of hope.
Ororo’s eyes bored into his. She made her voice as cold as she could. “This is over!”
Logan shook his head, unconvinced he would loss her over this.
“No, Ro. It will never be over between us.”
She stared incredulously at him, and then shook her features into a calm expression. It would not do to send a bolt of lightening into him. When she finally spoke again her voice was flat and frozen, a barren wasteland.
“We would have had to have something in order for it to end.”
Logan’s jaw clinched. His hands descended on her shoulders like giant clamps. Ororo tried to twist free, but she might as well have tried to extricate herself from concrete.
“Deny it all you want Goddess but we both know the truth!”
“Why won’t you let this go? Jeanie does not have time for you?” he growled threw his teeth.
“I can’t, I won’t let you go. I don’t want her!” unconsciously his grip tightened. “We belong together.”
She stared at his chest, conscious of its strength and solidarity. She was suddenly overwhelmed with the need to press her cheek against its broad expense and pretended nothing else mattered. But that’s what she had been doing for the last six months. Besides even if they could go back, they had lost something precious and they both knew it.
“Logan”
“No, Ro don’t say it. Give me another chance. Better yet give us another chance. You know we can make it work.” Wavering near defeat, she closed her eyes against the barrage of tears and images threatening to bombard her. Painfully she whispered, “You have become my best friend, confidante, teammate and lover and my hope when I saw none. In you I began to believe in a fantasy that has been longed denied me. But as it is often does in our lives, realty has set in and we must face it.”
Eyes shinning with pain and regret, Ororo gazed into his eyes. “With you I’ve known true happiness. I’ve felt what it is to be loved and cherished. Wherever I am. I will always hold that close to my heart. But I am done playing the fool.” He opened his mouth to protest but she silently shook her head.
“She is who you want, nothing can change that. Nothing stands between you now,”
Logan tried to deny her words but nothing came out. How could he refute her words? His action had spoken louder then any words he could use to convince her of the truth. The fight drained out of him as he locked his gaze with hers. He lessened his hold of her and stepped back. She mistakenly assumed that he was finally accepting the truth of her words.
“ I am sorry Ro. I never meant to hurt you.” He said softly. “I love you.”
“I know in your own way you did.” She whispered behind a clogged voice. The hurt so obvious in her words it caused him to wince. He signed heavily, a defeated sound. He would not hurt her any more then he already had. For now his only choice was to let her go until he figured out a way to get her back.
With an iron will that she’d utilized countless times, she wrapped her destroyed spirit about her and leaned in to capture his lips in a soft, gentle kiss. It was short and when it ended it held a resounding ring of finality. Quickly she moved out of the circle of his arms and took flight before she allowed a small amount of relief and burst into tears.
Logan stared after the retreating figure of the woman who held his heart and vowed, “I’m not giving up, darling. You’re what I want and if it’s the last thing I do, I’ll prove it to ya!”
A second later a red beam of focused light blasted right through his back leaving a gaping hole where his chest had been. As he hit the ground all he heard was Jean’s horrified screams and his last conscious thought was of the woman he refused to loss.





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