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Chapter 2: Reflections

Logan pulled his boots off as he entered the kitchen, not wanting to track the mud in. He had been running through the woods adjacent to the mansion in mud from the morning dew. He had been doing a lot of that lately, running wild in the bush, ever since they found Ororo gone. He blamed himself, he should have been here, he should have never left like he did that first time… never should have left her. He expected her to be here safe and protected when he got back, like before, like always, and now it was as if something tilted in him, how he saw things, how he felt. He knew he would have to go after her. Now, though, all he needed was Jean bitching at him. He couldn’t figure out what he had seen in her, wasting all that time chasing after her. She could be a real bitch sometimes. He tucked his boots under his arm and grabbed a beer from the refrigerator before heading up to his room.

He slammed the door behind him, threw his muddy boots on the floor next to the bed, slumped in the big armchair in the corner, and took a gulp of his beer. He took a deep breath, sinking deeper into the chair, the feel of the room calming him. A gentle breeze ruffled the white curtains and he caught a faint scent of sandalwood and jasmine – Ororo. This was her room, her smell was still here. Chuck let him have it since she was gone, and it gave him a sense of peace. That was his argument, anyway, truthfully, it made him feel closer to her.

He closed his eyes, concentrating on that elusive scent, trying to hold it, remembering when he first really noticed it, and recognized it as hers. It was last Christmas. He had come back from a short trip to Michigan, chasing down another wild goose from his forgotten past. Most of the kids had gone home for the holidays and the house was pretty quiet. It was amazing how much noise the kids made, it was if the whole house vibrated, even when everyone was sleeping. And the smells that assaulted his nose non-stop drove him out of the house at times.

It was quiet at Christmas and he was sitting in the Rec room watching t.v. when he caught a whiff of Sandalwood and Jasmine. It was faint, but enticing. He followed it to the library. The door was open and he peeked in. She was sitting curled up in an arm chair reading a book. Her hair was loose around her shoulders and her legs were tucked under her. She looked so serene. He watched her for a few minutes, drinking in her scent, wondering why he hadn’t noticed how alluring it was.

He left her there and went back to the rec room and spent the rest of the night thinking about her. He didn’t really know her, even though they had fought together at liberty island. She was a mystery, so aloof, so quiet. When he first met her, his impression was that she was probably the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but way out of his league. She was regal, powerful and untouchable. He thought she was kind of a snob, but when Chuck had asked him to join the team, and described each team members abilities, he had described her as very shy and in emotional control all the time, since her power was based in her emotions. He could understand that, he was in control all the time to, his animal nature was always fighting for control.

Over the Christmas holidays he caught her scent often, following it to wherever she was, in the library, the greenhouse or just sitting outside at the lake. He would always stay out of site watching her, he didn’t want her to know he was watching, he wasn’t sure why. At meals he would catch her looking at him and she would look away quickly, dropping her eyes. She intrigued him, but he never approached her, she was to good for him. It was during Christmas that he realized he had grown bored with chasing after Jean, the game was old and her shallowness was tiring. He didn’t know how Scott took it, well, he could have her.

Over the next month he had watched her from afar. It was strange how he never thought of her as Ororo or Storm, but as just her or she, as if her name, somehow, made her seem less than what she was… a goddess. She fascinated him, her quiet nature and gentle grace. He never knew any woman like her before. She had secrets, he knew that. He would see her leaving at night sometimes alone, never knowing where she was going. He thought he might follow her sometime but thought better of it. He didn’t want to intrude.

~~
Logan took a swig of his beer, her scent had faded so he pulled out a cigar and lit it. He took a deep drag relishing the flavor and the smell was a reminder of when it first happened.

~~

It was early February and very cold outside. He had just come back from town and was sitting in the kitchen drinking a beer. It was very late, about 2am when she came down to get a glass of milk. He had been sitting in the dark, enjoying his beer, his cigar, and the quiet when she came. She didn’t turn on the overheads just the light over the stove which left him in the dark so he could watch her without her knowing it. She leaned against the counter sipping her milk.

Sandalwood and Jasmine surrounded him, along with… sadness. Why was she sad? He wondered. She turned suddenly, sniffing the air and looked around, listening. He could tell she wasn’t sure if he was actually there or if it was just leftover scent of his cigar. That was when it happened, her control was down and another scent joined the others… desire. She sniffed the air and smiled, crossing her arms across her chest, hugging herself tightly.

He hadn’t seen her smile often, which was a shame, she had a beautiful smile. She threw her head back breathing in deeply, letting out the softest of sighs. Her scent was getting stronger, she was getting aroused by the smell of his cigar.

It wasn’t just desire he could smell, it was want and it was turning him on, his erection pushing painfully against the confining denim of his jeans. He didn’t move, watching her. He made his breathing shallow so she wouldn’t hear him, taking in her scent. It was then he detected something he hadn’t expected. It was intoxicating, and it was surrounding him with it’s sweetness. There was no mistaking it… she was a virgin. She wanted him and her body was calling. He had to get away from her, he could feel his animal need for her clouding his mind, but he couldn’t move without her knowing he was there. If he didn’t do something soon his animal would take her right there in the kitchen. He was frantic, trying to figure out what he could do when she suddenly turned, put her empty milk glass in the sink and quickly left the kitchen. He waited a moment, making sure she was gone before he grabbed his coat off the seat next to him and ran from the house. He didn’t stop until he was safely in the woods before he dropped to his knees and roared.

~~
Logan gulped the last of his beer and threw the bottle in the wastebasket next to the dresser. He let his head fall back on the soft cushion of the chair and ran his fingers through his unruly hair. In hindsight he realized he should have made himself known, should have spoken with her, at least before Valentine’s Day.
~~

It had been a week since the incident in the kitchen and he had so far been successful in avoiding her. He couldn’t trust himself, every time he caught just the slightest whiff of her scent it took all his strength of will to resist it. He had to leave.

The week leading up to Valentine’s day was hectic. The holiday fell on a Saturday, which made that Friday the 13th. Everyone was planning something, whether they were in a couple, or wanted to be. It drove him crazy and made his mood more and more dour. The woman he wanted to be with he couldn’t and Jean was getting even more flirtatious and annoying.

He had informed Chuck earlier in the week that he would be leaving on Saturday, without explanation and Chuck didn’t ask. He figured he would need to be gone only a couple of months, maybe by then he would have control over himself, because right now he was out of control. Getting women in town hadn’t even helped, he found he couldn’t perform for them, all he wanted was her. She invaded his dreams, waking up with erections so hard he could hardly make it to the bathroom before he came all over himself. It was his animal nature, his primal need to mate and she was the one he had chosen. She was untouched and wanting, and she had chosen him as well, but she deserved better than an animal, he wasn’t worthy.

By the time Saturday came he had been either hiding in his room, running in the woods or working out in the Danger Room. He hadn’t attended one meal since that night, avoiding any place she would be. He would sneak into the kitchen at odd hours to eat.

It was Saturday night and he had successfully avoided Jean and Scott and especially her as he made it to the garage. As he packed his bike he caught her scent. She had been in the garage recently. He looked across the vast space and noticed her car was gone. ‘Just as well,’ he thought as he mounted his bike and drove away.

Coming up... Chapter 3: Remembering Valentines Day





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