Disclaimer: Don’t own, don’t sue.
Movieverse X-Men
Pairing: Ororo/Logan
‘I Shall Believe’
Author’s Note: This is my first attempt at song fiction. It is set after X-2 and is in the same continuity as ‘She Cries Your Name’, although that fic is set before this one but I wrote this first and then it inspired me. I’ve had a few more ideas for fics in this series, so there will be more to come. (This Movieverse continuity is separate from my ‘Eye of the Storm’ fics, which I hope to post here soon.) Hope you enjoy, M’ikosan7, xx
Logan stood at the main window of his bedroom, leaning on the frame with his arm above his head---he looked out at the woodland at the back of the mansion as the sun began to rise on the horizon. Bringing the thick cigar he held in his right hand to his mouth, he took a lengthy draw on it. Watching the thin stream of bluish smoke as he exhaled slowly.
He’d had trouble sleeping again tonight, it was rare these days---but on occasion the dreams still came to him. Vivid memories of submersion in thick liquid, the indescribable pain---he was certain that the version of the pain that he could remember was probably only a fraction of what he’d actually felt at the time.
So much had changed in his life though, since that dark time. Fate had made him stumble upon these people---the X-Men. For a time he’d actually believed he could be happy here---then Jean had died. And that one shred of hope, the one inkling of happiness that he let himself believe he might be able to have was gone. The first woman in his short memory that he had felt more than sexual desire for---and just as he’d found her he’d lost her.
Logan took another smoke on his stogie, gazing disinterestedly at the smouldering embers at its end before stubbing it out in the ashtray on the card table that sat beneath the window. With one last glance outside, he pushed off the window frame and ambled into the main space of the room. HIS room---the first room and the first home ---as far as he was concerned---he’d ever had.
After the encounter with William Stryker, he’d decided that maybe his past wasn’t worth chasing. If what Stryker had hinted at was true---he didn’t want to know who the ‘Wolverine’ was before the adamantium.
Logan knew what he was capable of---some of the things he’d done during his fifteen years in the ‘wilderness’, he wouldn’t admit to anyone. Especially anyone at the mansion. If he was even more of a monster before---he could live without knowing. Besides, he’d found something worth living for now. Sure, occasionally he’d catch himself pondering over Jean, wondering if there was something any of them could have done on that fateful day two years ago now, to save her. But these days he only thought about those things in terms of feeling sorry for Scott.
He supposed he felt sorry for him because whilst he had lost the great love of his life---somehow---Logan had managed to find his. He knew he didn’t deserve it; Scott was the good guy, the one who tried to do right by everybody. Yet he was the one who was lonely and Logan was the one who could wrap his body around the woman he loved every night. Sometimes life really wasn’t fair---but maybe he’d already had more than his fair share of bad luck. It was his time for some happiness now.
He looked down at her now, in his bed, the dusky skin of her back exposed, her white hair caressing her smooth shoulders. Every time he got the opportunity to simply observe her---without interruption or pretence, just like he was now---he still couldn’t believe she was his.
Ororo Munroe---Storm---the resident Goddess.
“The Goddess who fell for the Animal.” He said under his breath wryly, as he sat on the edge of the bed and simply watched her sleep.
Their relationship hadn’t been perfect, far from it. He hated to admit it but he’d been the stereotypical ‘difficult’, commitment shy tough guy for a long while. Ororo had had to put up with a lot from him---with his insecurities, emotional unavailability and frequent absences. She had given him the love, care, attention and patience that she had become famous for with the other X-Men and the pupils at the school. It humbled Logan almost---that he’d found the unconditional love he’d always craved. Someone who loved him warts and all.
Logan ran his hand, just barely over the back of her shoulder length hair---he could never get over how soft it was to the touch. Thinking about all the things she’d done for him, he tried to think about what he’d done for her in return. What could a man like him offer to the woman who appeared to have everything---strength, love from everyone around her, power to protect herself. She seemed so self-sufficient in every way that at times he wondered if he were needed at all. But then with a short self-deprecating laugh he berated himself for sounding like one of those men who complained about strong women emasculating men. When the truth of it was that he knew from personal experience that men like him needed women like her to get some perspective. And visa versa he supposed.
Most of all though, she’d helped him to believe---believe that there was hope.
“Couldn’t sleep?” Ororo’s back was still turned to him as she inquired groggily.
Sinking his right hand into her hair, Logan moved fully onto the bed and snuggled up to her back, sliding his left arm beneath her slim body and wrapping it around her bare waist.
“You know me darlin’, I’m not the greatest sleeper.” He kissed the back of her head before releasing his hand and burying his nose in her hair to inhale its glorious scent.
“Umm-hum,” she replied sleepily, pressing the back of her body to his, moulding it to his shape. “Well I suppose I should be grateful that I was able to sleep for a little bit before you woke me.”
Logan chuckled lightly into her hair, “I didn’t wake you!”
“Oh really? Shifting about on the bed with your weight would disturb anyone.” She joked as she turned her head slightly to look over her shoulder at him. “That---plus the stench of those cigars!” With a beautiful smile she brought her lips up to his and kissed him tenderly.
Breaking apart, they lay in silence for a moment, Ororo with her hands on his arm about her waist and Logan resting his cheek on the side of her face.
Bringing her hand up to gently brush over his face, she asked, “So what were you thinking about?”
“Oh nothing---and everything.”
“That tells me a lot!” She laughed. “No but seriously---what were you thinking of, you know you can tell me?”
He sighed wistfully as he considered his reply, “Well I was thinking about Jean, about us---about what’s made me want to stay here.”
“And what was your conclusion?”
“Well for a start,” He turned his head into her cheek, kissing it softly before trailing similar ones down her neck. “There’s you.”
“And?” She asked, contentment filling her voice as she ran one of the hands on his arm up and down it lightly.
“And---,” He exaggerated the length of the word before adding, “I guess everythin’ Xavier spouts---it’s grown on me.” He kissed her cheek again. “Everythin’ YOU spout’s grown on me.”
Ororo smiled to herself---it was the first time he’d really, truly admitted that Xavier’s ideals were now his ideals. Although she knew he wouldn’t have said that to anyone else but her---it was a step in the right direction. This man had been hard work---but he’d been worth it. In his own way, even though he didn’t realise it he had helped her in so many ways. After Jean’s death, their late night talks had gotten her through it, without her falling apart. Of course at the time she knew Logan had been using her as more-or-less a sound board for his own broken heart---they’d not been exactly close before that. But it grew to be a more openly mutual thing and before they knew it they were the closet of friends.
Their relationship had grown from there---although he wasn’t exactly the ideal man to have your first serious relationship with. She’d been strong for him, like she felt he expected her to be---he never realised that Kurt was the shoulder she went to cry on. That she wasn’t the unflappable Goddess when he disappeared for months at a time on occasion. But things had sorted themselves out eventually, they worked through his problems together and at this moment she knew that all the grief he’d caused her and the pain--- had all been worth it.
She loved him---this irascible rogue of hers. No matter how high or how low things got---she knew in her heart that she always would. He had given her the strength to truly love, to open her heart. His wild side had unleashed things in her that she’d long kept hidden or simply didn’t know were there. He’d helped her to truly live---and for that she would always be grateful. She couldn’t imagine a life without him by her side.
Turning around to face him Ororo planted a long, soft kiss on his lips. After a while she pulled back to study the ruggedly handsome lines on his face in the dim orange light and smiled. “I don’t think you have any idea how happy you’ve made me.”
Bringing her as close as he could to him, Logan kissed her with a slow, deep and passionate kiss. All the while thinking about how the taste of her was just one of the many things that was perfect about her---the most wonderful thing he’d ever tasted.
“Ditto darlin’.” He said quietly, close to her moist lips.
Looking into Ororo’s rich, dark eyes, Logan realised she had given him the faith to believe in anything.
‘Come to me now
Lay your hands over me
Even if it’s a lie
Say it will be alright
And I will believe.
*
Broken in two
I know you’re on to me
That I only come home
When I’m so all alone
But I do believe
*
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
It seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly you won’t give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
*
Open the door
And show me your face tonight
I know it’s true
No one heals me like you
And you hold the key
*
Never again
Would I turn away from you
I’m so heavy tonight
But your love is alright
And I do believe
*
That not everything is gonna be the way
You think it ought to be
Seems like every time I try to make it right
It all comes down on me
Please say honestly
You won’t give up on me
And I shall believe
I shall believe
I shall believe
I shall believe.
The End.
You must login () to review.
