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Reviewer: sinisterkamui Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 07-03-07 - 11:55 pm Title: Midnight Ventures

update?

Reviewer: Dragon Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 03-31-07 - 12:21 pm Title: Midnight Ventures

Great chapter!!!! I can’t wait to read the next chapter so please keep on writing and UPDATE SOON.

Reviewer: Kathy Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 12-05-06 - 03:45 pm Title: Midnight Ventures

I'm not fan of Scott but ouch!

Reviewer: Kathy Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 12-05-06 - 03:35 pm Title: Lunchtime

I knew Logan had to hear it all! I wondered why he didn't say anything about his enhanced five sense.

Reviewer: Kathy Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 12-05-06 - 03:18 pm Title: And so it Begins

I like how close Remy and Ororo are. I can see Jean being trouble and not the could kind

Reviewer: OriginalCeenote Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 12-02-06 - 12:52 am Title: Midnight Ventures

Good. References to Hawthorne and Shakespear, and my favorite stories from each of them. That will keep me coming back, especially if there bits of foreshadowing popping up in this story that mirror the tragic tone of either one. I love "literature sampling" in fanfic and I do that with fairy tales a lot.

Punctuation still needs a little polish, but the tone is easy to read and I can visualize and hear the characters and their reactions to each other. You get a cookie.

Reviewer: Roxxibebe Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 12-01-06 - 06:47 pm Title: Midnight Ventures

Well look at that, things are getting interesting. I can’t wait to see what Scott is going to say when-if Ororo become the leader.

As always another great chapter. Now what you really have to work on.....

Those Updates. lol.

- Roxxi : )

Reviewer: ilovetornado_phoenix4life Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 11-16-06 - 12:52 pm Title: Lunchtime

PLEASE CONTINUE THIS STORY!! IT IS SUCH A GOOD STORY FOR TWO CHAPTERS!! WILL LOGAN AND ORORO START DATING???

Reviewer: sinisterkamui Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 11-15-06 - 12:32 pm Title: Lunchtime

interresting sounds like remy and logan might butt heads with each other over storm would be very interrested in seeing that

Author's Response: Your wish my command, I had already half written part of this chapter and when I saw your review I knew I was on the right track. Thanks ~Jordan

Reviewer: Roxxibebe Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 11-14-06 - 08:55 pm Title: Lunchtime

( Referring to your response ) Don’t worry about the jumpyness….is that even a word? Lol.
I’m not a great author, either. In everything its takes awhile to get things that way you want it. And your right, you just needed time to find a good pace.

( Referring now to your new second chapter ) - I love quotes, I use quotes for my papers all that time. For me it takes me forever to find the perfect one….but lets talk about you.
I was getting into it and then it ended L

I like this story, I think your doing a great job, don’t worry too much and do what you gotta do…
Update...Soon?
-Roxxi : )

Author's Response: Soon = once I'm done adding responses to the reveiws. Thanks so much for reviewing all my chapters It's so good to have support for a story. Thanks ~Jordan

Reviewer: sinisterkamui Signed Liked [Report This]
Date: 11-14-06 - 08:38 am Title: And so it Begins

interesting concept cant tell this is your first story cant wait for an update

Reviewer: OriginalCeenote Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 11-09-06 - 11:35 pm Title: And so it Begins

Bits of punctuation and spelling that need cleaning, but overall, I enjoyed the narrative, which had a poetic feel to it, I loved the opening quotes that you used, and the dialogue between Logan and Ororo in the pool room was believable and clever. This is going to be a great story as you continue to build it. I hope you update this soon!

Reviewer: Nesha Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 11-09-06 - 08:25 pm Title: And so it Begins

loved the referral to the meanin of her name

Reviewer: Roxxibebe02 Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 11-09-06 - 06:57 pm Title: And so it Begins

You better gimme a new chapter, I like it. There aren't many stories with just Remy and Ororo staring out and coming into the mansion together. I get a real comic feel from this and it will be interesting to see if you incoperate other themes from other sources.

I felt though it was a little jumpy and that a little more detail couldn't hurt. But i'm amusing that you need a few more chapters to get a more of a feel of what you what..... Anyway.....

Great job, and i want more from you.
- Roxxi : )

Author's Response: I'm sorry it looks so jumpy your right I'm trying to find a pace that really... I dunno... works for this story I think this new one is a bit better but let me know thanks for the review. ~Jordan

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