[Report This]Date: 10-31-06 - 11:51 am Title: Action-Reaction
really good chapter like the changes hate the cliffhanger but cant do much about that. cant wait to see storm go crazy on scott
Author's Response: Finally updated and no cliffy this time around.
[Report This]Date: 10-31-06 - 03:00 am Title: Action-Reaction
HELLO?!? CONTINUE?? dam tis awesome.
Author's Response: Updated. :D
[Report This]Date: 09-28-06 - 03:25 am Title: Action-Reaction
It's good that you are redoing this fic because i quite like the other one and if your improving i know I like this one too. so please hurry and update.
Oh and maybe if you finish this one you could do like a prequel to show how Ororo and Logan got together and etc.
[Report This]Date: 09-08-06 - 12:52 am Title: Action-Reaction
Change chest fluffing to chest puffing, it works better in the context of that line. It was a great line, by the way.
Some fixes needed in this paragraph, then I'll quit nickpicking:
“Its not on you,” the snow haired Ororo protested. “Well, not exactly. I mean it is on you, but its only one claw. It’s not like I put anything on your face. Besides, its not shi…poop, it’s nail-polish, and the best that is.” She waved the two bottles she had used to beatify the front quarter of a single bone claw, taking great pains to use the natural ridges and curves to make a rather interesting design.
"Beautify" needs a u. "Best that is" needs to be "best there is." "Its only one claw" needs to be "it's only one claw."
Right. I'll quit bellyaching. Good update. I could visualize the talk about the razors, since it felt like it came straight out of my own home. (my husband uses up my razors to shave his head)
Author's Response: Corrected. As for the 'razor/hair-removal' comments (both here in TDA), they came from pure TV/Video/Reading experience...as I don't use one. :p
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