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Reviewer: Stormcrow Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 10-30-07 - 09:00 pm Title: mini me

So I take it that your making both of your OC's are Romani due to the "odd language" they speak. A little bad grammer usage "Gypsy says in a only slightly sarcastic tone" shouls be "Gypsy says in an only slightly sarcastic tone" or "Gypsy says in a slightly sarcastic tone" I can see the mini me asspect in the story.....similairities between Storm and gypsy. Mating ceremony...sounds very interesting almost romantizied Romani. Good imagination and creativity. Keep it up. Though stilll choppy.

Author's Response: who's romani or what's romani? i don't mean to sound stupid or anything but i don't know who or what that is. I was up late so please do try to forgive the bad grammer plus i tend change my accent when i speek.

Reviewer: OriginalCeenote Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 06-30-07 - 03:03 pm Title: mini me

The chapter title puzzled me; I was half-expecting some similarities between Ororo and Gypsy in this, and instead it had them kind of goodnaturedly bickering with each other (which isn't a bad thing). Tramp's reaction to Gypsy's nicknaming was funny!

It would be nice to eventually see more of the team's reactions to their two new additions. That, and some of Logan's reactions to them, too, since Tramp is kinda feral, and it seems like their would be a "pack rivalry" between them, living in the same house. The brief bits of dialogue between each set of characters in the previous two chapters were great when Charles was calling all of them together.

Keep it coming. A short update isn't a bad thing when you stop at a point where you feel it's reasonable, and you say what you have to say. Glad you've had time to write!

Reviewer: friyourass Anonymous Liked [Report This]
Date: 06-30-07 - 03:58 am Title: mini me

so what do you guys think?

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