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Chapter 2

Ororo laid in bed, observing the pale yellow moon and stars twinkling in the cloudless night sky through her loft’s one of a kind skylight. Insomnia was her friend tonight, as it had been for the past seven nights. She was at her wits’ end in figuring out what she can do to escape the stench of hopelessness and loneliness that threatened to permanently consume every ounce of her being. These feelings posed a threat to her sagacity and to the world, because as she felt, the weather reacted. The world did not need her usurping Mother Nature’s authority right now. She knew these negative feelings were a problem, even more so after her return from visiting her homeland. The marriage of her two oldest friends, Scott and Jean and learning of the engagement of her surrogate brother and best friend, added to the feelings she found herself sheathed in. She wasn’t jealous of her friends, quite the contrary. She was incredibly elated for them, knowing that they found their other halves to share the joys and pains of life with. As she was honest with herself, she can admit that the fact that she was a twenty eight year old single woman with no one to love and cherish her was sobering.

However, those were the least contributing factors to her aloneness and sadness. The biggest and most heart wrenching factor was her unreciprocated love for the Wolverine. From the very first time Charles introduced him to the team, her attraction to him had come out of left field and had totally bowled her over. At first, she denied it, blaming it on having gone without a man's touch in a long time. She wasn't sure why she would be attracted to the wild, animalistic, gruff, downright mean ex-assassin, but after a period of reflection, chose to accept her fate. She came to accept that her rapidly growing feelings for the feral were primal and natural, as they were both children of nature. She grew to love him with an intensity and ferocity that rivaled no other. She knew the others, save a few, after all this time, still saw him as a murderous animal, a no good person, who didn’t give a damn about anything and anyone. However, this was far from the truth from what she’d observe in the eight years he’s been a member of the team. Many times, when he thought no one was looking, she had taken notice of the caring, nurturing side he demonstrated to very few, namely, Rogue, Jubilee and Kitty. She also knew that under that strong, courageous, brash exterior he exhibited to the world, he harbored feelings of being unworthy and undeserving. Nonetheless, Ororo firmly believed that he was worthy of and deserved love after the lifetime of pain, death and destruction he’d experience and witness.

Her friends and family who knew about her dismal love life, all believed that after Forge, she had given up on having what she wanted most out of life, love and a family created from that love. Forge, together with her, Scott, Jean and Hank were amongst the very first students at Charles Xavier’s School for the Gifted. Her very first relationship was with Hank, the Beast, however, they quickly realized their relationship was doomed from the beginning and they were better off as friends. On the other hand, her relationship with Forge was like a fairy tale for her. The mutant inventor was urbane, well spoken, handsome, intelligent, charming and very much a gentleman. In him she saw her desires for love and a family of her own coming to fruition. She was deeply in love. Or so she thought. It took a while for her to realize that he wasn't in love with the woman, but with her Goddess persona. He loved her for what she appeared to be, not for what she actually was. Her realizations were well founded and solidified when he withdrew his marriage proposal and ran off with another mutant woman. After, she went into a downward spiral, questioning and doubting everything she believed in and stood for. Subsequently, she emerged from the fiasco a changed woman, all thoughts of love, marriage and children were buried in the furthest and deepest recesses of her mind. That is, until Logan’s arrival. It was as if he had resurrected those desires in her and she kept them locked away in the most secret part of her being, a treasure trove that no one but her knew about. So, she settled for being his friend, his buddy.

She sighed in frustration and flung the covers off her nude body. She padded over to the opened balcony doors and welcomed the cool night air caressing her mocha skin. Her mind was occupied with thoughts and images of the resident mountain man. Every time he was near or she thought about him, her heart would beat wildly, fireworks always seemed to explode in her head and she would experience a sense of elation. Many times, lying alone in her bed, she would recall all too well his piercing steel gray eyes, his crooked half smile, gravelly voice, exceptionally brawny physique and that potent virility he exuded.

Ororo had hoped that the trip to her beloved Africa to visit her relatives and take in the natural wonders her homeland had to offer would squelch her desire for the feral Canadian. She had hope that she could purge him out of her system and once she returned to New York, would be able to embark on finding a companion to build a strong, loving relationship with. However, her trip apparently had the opposite effect. While she was away, she craved him more and her love for him only intensified. When she returned to the mansion, all thoughts about seeking and building a relationship elsewhere were a distant memory as she was bombarded by all the love and desire she held for him, when he welcomed her home.

She definitely had to get a grip as she was in danger of revealing all to the man himself. She knew she was in precarious territory when at Scott and Jean’s wedding, she imagined it was her walking down the aisle on the Professor’s arm to marry the man she was hopelessly in love with. She dearly wished it was her and Logan vowing their undying love to each other in front of their family and friends. To top it off, Remy and Rogue had gotten engaged at the wedding reception. After those two major events, it didn’t take long for the feelings of inadequacy and insecurity to once again rear their ugly heads. Will she ever be happy? Will she ever find her soul mate? Will all the love she had bottled up inside of her be reciprocated? She guess only time and destiny will tell. But in the meantime, what was she to do? How was she to deal with the doom and gloom of feeling hopeless and lonely? Oh Goddess! Please show me the way! She silently beseeched. A few moments later, a gentle breeze that seemed to whisper to her to have patience, stroked her skin and spread an unusual warmth throughout her being. A slow smile ghosted her face as she nodded her acceptance of the Goddess’ reply to her supplication. She turned away from the balcony and strolled over to her bed and got back under the covers, after a sudden lethargy overcame her. Maybe the sleep that eluded her will finally come.





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