Logan was nervous. He, the mighty Wolverine, one of the most dangerous and most unpredictable mutants on earth, member of the x-men – was nervous.
He was fidgeting. He never fidgeted.
Fidgeting meant he was scared – he had fear.
The Wolverine didn’t fear anyone or anything.
And yet he had fear – he was afraid.
It wasn’t the fear of ol’ Buckethead – fuck him, he’s in prison.
It wasn’t the fear of Apocalypse – he’s dead – for now.
It wasn’t even the fear of those Weapon X freaks – already killed ‘em – ALL OF THEM. He smirked.
It was much greater.
It was the fear of a promise.
And the fear of rejection.
He had been waiting and preparing for this day for years.
Two years, two months and ten days to be exact.
That was the day he had a realization and made a decision.
‘Two more days’ he told himself.
Two more days and then he would come to know – Yes or No.
A part of him feared….’What if it is yes?’
Another part – a larger one feared it would be ‘No’
And that thought felt worse than dying.
Two more days and then…he would know.
He would know…if the promise meant as much to the one who made it as it did to him.
-------
Two years, three hundred and sixty two days ago
“Oh I am so happy for you,” Kitty Pryde gushed, hugging the redheaded doctor. “Just think….this time tomorrow you will no longer be Ms. Grey but Mrs. Summers,” she declared. “Oooh…I am so happy” she hugged Jean again.
“Grrr…..” he growled in frustration. He had to get away. He couldn’t take it anymore. All this Scott and Jean marriage bullshit was getting to him. If he didn’t leave, he was going to lose his mind and hurt someone….kill someone…most probably Scooter.
Rushing out, he walked towards the woods.
He needed to calm down. At least till tomorrow. Then he could leave and let out his anger and pain.
He knew where to go.
-------
He remembered the day he first came to know about it. He knew deep in heart that this would happen. It was destined. But to actually hear the words spoken out. It had almost made his claws pop put.
He had heard it by chance.
-------
A few months ago,
“Ah can’t believe he finally did it” Logan’s ears perked at Rogue’s drawl. She was excited – too excited, if her thickened accent was anything to go by. It happened whenever she was too much of anything, too happy, too sad….too excited.
What had got her excited now?
Her next words answered his question…..and brought his world crashing down.
“Ah can’t believe Scott fihnally asked y’ ta mahry him. Ah thought that ya guys were gonna stay like this forevah.”
Jean Grey giggled at her teammate’s remark. Her happiness and giggles cut right through his heart.
Scooter had finally done it. He had asked Jeannie to be his wife.
Logan wanted to break something. Something belonging to a certain blond haired, red-eyed, pain in the ass mutant. Or better yet, something….some part of the same mutant.
He did the only thing he could. He left.
------
He had spent the entire night in the woods, venting his anger….and trying to lose his pain. His anguished howls echoed throughout the night.
He finished his entire beer and alcohol stock. Even then, he didn’t achieve the numbness he wanted. The frigging healing factor negated everything he threw against it.
He spent the entire night, drinking and cutting down trees.
It was there that she had found her, just as she had found him today…..sitting under the tree overlooking the cliff, watching the sunrise over the horizon, his strength finally spent after hours of destruction.
She knew his pain….she understood his pain. She, like him, had loved and lost. If anyone….she understood him.
-----
“Ya just gonna stand there darlin’” he said aloud, scooting to the side – sending a silent invitation to her to join him.
He knew she had been standing there, behind him, lost in her own thoughts. He had smelled her sweet smell.
Today couldn’t be easy for her either.
Today reminded her of her own loss.
She had loved once…years ago. When they were just *uncomfortable* teammates, not the best friends they were now.
He had seen her love for the Cheyenne. He had seen her devotion to him and the joy it brought to her face.
Then the son a bitch had gone and ruined it…broken their engagement off…hurt her….ruined her.
He had broken her heart…for what. For the blue bitch.
She had been in despair for months. Then one day she left.
She returned months later…a changed woman.
She was more confident…more sure of herself…..more beautiful.
‘Beautiful’
She was the most beautiful woman he knew, had ever known…even more than…Jean.
That realization had stunned him. When had he started thinking of her as beautiful? Not just beautiful….but the most beautiful. He knew that she was attractive….even a blind person could see that….feel that….smell that. Her scent……vanilla and sandalwood, mixed with her own earthy scent.
But *beautiful*…...
She was the windrider, goddess, storm, Ororo, ‘Roro, ‘Ro…..and now *Beautiful*.
-----
Smiling, she lowered herself next to him, looking as beautiful as ever.
Instinctively his hand reached forward and came to rest on her thigh. She laid her hand over his.
They had done this enough times to lose the awkwardness.
He knew that she knew that he would be here. Especially today.
It was his place….no….it was their place.
They had spent countless hours there, witnessing hundreds of sunsets, taking comfort in each other’s company. No one except them came here. It was their safe haven – it was their sanctuary.
-----
“I was thinking,” she offered, starting the conversation.
“Hmmm” he murmured, taking deep puff of his cigar. “Me too” he breathed out, smiling lightly as she used her winds to gently blow the smoke away from her.
He knew that she didn’t like his smoking. She had let him know that…many times. And usually he didn’t smoke in her company…at least not here. But today was different. Today he needed this…..he needed her. And she gave him both….herself and his precious cigar.
“Are you ok?” she asked softly, her slender fingers threading through his thick calloused ones.
“No” he didn’t lie.
He never lied to her. He did to others, but never to her. To her he could tell the truth.
With her, he could open up and be himself.
“I understand” and she did. “It must be difficult for you.”
He nodded his head, taking another deep puff. “It is. But not as difficult as I thought it would be.”
“It isn’t” she seemed surprised. He knew the reason. Everyone, including her had expected him to act out his anger, his hurt…..his loss. And on some level so had he.
So why hadn’t he? The thought bugged him…until he realized the truth. He loved Jean, but not as much as he thought, he did. And….he had her. His best friend…his windrider…his goddess to provide him support, to give him her love and understanding.
She was his rock, just as he was hers.
“Yes” he turned to her, his eyes lighting up as he gazed upon her beauty. His breath hitching in his chest. “’cause I’ve got ya” she smiled at his statement.
“Always my friend” she assured him. “Always” she hugged him, resting her head on his shoulder.
Then sat that way, comnforting each other – healing each other.
-----
“We are a fine pair…aren’t we,” she broke the silence, his hand still held within hers.
“One of a kind”
“When do you leave?” she asked clearly. ‘How well does she know me’ he thought. She knew that he would leave. She knew that he needed to go away…to cleanse himself of his anger….of his rage.
“Tonight” he answered. Turning his hand, he gently squeezed hers.
“When?”
“Once ya let me go,” another smile lighted her face up, slightly assuaging him. Her smile was like a cool soothing salve over his wounded heart.
“What if I never let you go?” she asked lightly, trying to raise his spirits.
“Then I’ll never go” he answered immediately, surprised at his own conviction. Why did he say that? Where did it come from? It wasn’t from his mind, he knew that much. Then where was it from?
-----
“You know what” he looked up at her words. “We should get married?” she smiled at his widened eyes. It took him a moment to realize – she was joking.
“Just tell me the time and place,” he answered, deciding that two could play this game.
“Hmmmm….” she tapped her finger on her chin. “Three years from tonight.” She finally said. “If neither of us is married or with someone else, we will get married to each other. Then we’ll take a long break and retreat to your cabin for the winter.”
“Ya got yerself a deal,” he smiled at her sinless offer. Making a decision, he got on his knees and drawing closer gently kissed her on her soft, full lips. They had kissed before, but it had never been so chaste.
What he didn’t realize then, was that it had never carried so much meaning either.
But he did….later…
Once he did, he returned….to her…..for her.
-----
He left that night. He left for Canada...the only other place where he felt safe.
He needed the cold secure feeling the Canadian Rockies gave him. He needed that to cool his blazing core.
The wilderness took all he gave…his pain, his tears, his rage. It took it all and healed him.
Somehow,…the healing wasn’t complete. He missed something…..someone.
He missed her.
He missed her. Not as a friend. No….that was not it….not *only* as a friend. He missed her as more….he needed her as more.
He craved her…as a plant craves the sun, as a human craved air….as a man craves his lover.
‘A lover’
This new truth knocked him off his feet.
He loved her. He had always loved her. As a friend.
But not anymore. Now he loved her as something else. He loved her as a woman. A woman he wanted to spend the rest of his life with.
-----
He returned by night, a small box in his jacket pocket.
He found her, dancing on her winds…..naked….looking like the goddess she was – regal…natural…wild.
“Darlin’ if I’d known ya would welcome me like this I woulda ‘ve come sooner” he couldn’t contain his wise crack.
Looking down, she smiled at him and slowly came towards him. “Dance with me” she said, offering her hand.
Within moments, he was in her arms and she in his. His jacket, shirt and shoes lying on the ground, next to her clothes.
They danced late into the night, rising and falling on her winds. Finally, they landed and lay on the soft grass, still holding onto each other, watching the sunrise.
In the morning, they returned to the mansion. To their lives as colleagues….as x-men.
Everything went back to the way it was. Everything was normal.
Until now
------
Today was the day.
He had ridden like a maniac, wanting to get to her in time.
His mind told him that he was wrong. That it had only been a joke. A joke between two friends, comforting and supporting each other. She wasn’t serious and didn’t expect him to be either. It was nothing.
‘NO’ he instincts cried out. She was serious…she was truth…she was HIS.
He had left three weeks ago. He needed to get work done. He needed to get things ready.
Tonight he was returning…to her….only her….FOR her.
He just hoped that she wanted him to be hers’, just as he wanted her to be his.
-----
He found her in the library…alone, lost in deep thought.
“Ya ready darlin’” she raised her head, his smile dropping at the tears in her eyes.
“Logan” she tried to hide her tears. But she couldn’t. Not from him.
“’Ro….” he rushed to her side. “Yer crying”
Why was she crying? Had someone hurt her? He would gut the fuckers?
“Nothing” she brushed her tears away. “Just remembering the past.”
“When did you come back?” she asked, trying to change the subject.
“Just now” he answered. “Just needed ta get somethings done.” “Come with me” he offered his hand.
She took it, trusting him implicitly.
Taking her outside, he hugged her, enjoying the way she left in his arms. It felt….right. She felt right.
“Close yer eyes ‘Ro” she followed his instructions. “Rise darlin’” “Lets ride yer winds.”
“But I can’t see” she reasoned.
“But I can” he reassured her. “I’ll be yer navigator….yer eyes. Let Me,” he almost pleaded.
She smiled and complied with his request.
----
He guided her to their destination.
“Open yer eyes ‘Ro” he whispered into her ear.
Slowly opening her sapphire eyes, she gasped at the sight before her, her hands covering her open mouth.
He smiled at her reaction.
They were at their spot.
But that wasn’t all.
He had made all the preparations. In front of them, was a table – for two. The moon and the two candles on the table, gently illuminating the dark night.
----
“Logan” he smiled as she looked at him, confusion on her face. Confusion and…maybe a hint of anticipation. That thought gave him courage.
“Three years darlin’” he smiled at her. “Today’s the day”
Her eyes widened – a gentle smile on remembrance on her lips.
‘She remembers’ his inner Wolverine rejoiced.
“But you were…” she started.
He knew what or rather *who* she was referring to – the redhead he had been *seeing* for the past six months.
“Not anymore” he answered her unspoken question. “Ended” “Three months ago”
“Why?” she asked innocently, friendly concern clear in her voice. But also something else, joy…..something he hoped was for him.
“It was time,” he answered, inserting his hand into his front pocket. “It is time…fer us” he presented the velvet box to her.
“Whatdya say darling”” he grinned, his heart thumping hard against his adamantium chest. “Want ta do true on yer promise and give this Canucklehead a chance.”
“Aren’t you going to get on your knees?” she joked.
“Not until ya get down with me,” he quipped, stepping closer and snaking a hand around her waist.
“Well” he looked up at her, his throat dry at her stalled expression, old doubts resurfacing again. What if she refused? What if she didn’t want this? What if she didn’t want…?
“Yes” she murmured, lowering her lips to his, his eyes widened and his heart rate doubled. “Yes” she repeated, whispering against his mouth. “Yes…yes…yes…a thousand times yes…..always yes”
He pulled her tightly, crushing his lips to hers.
His wait was complete. He had found his goddess.
----
“When did you buy this?” she asked, rolling the ring between her fingers.
“Remember the night we danced,” he asked. She nodded her head, a smile on her lips.
“A week before that” she seemed stunned by his revelation.
“Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” she sounded both touched and slightly annoyed.
“We had a deal” “Three years” he reminded her. “So I waited fer the three years ta end.”
“And I didn’t forget the rest of it” he continued as she blushed. “The rest of it?” she asked raising her eyes.
“Yeah” “Yer cabin is waiting fer ya” he smirked as she blushed deepened.
“That’s where you had been the last three weeks. At the cabin” it was more of a statement, than a question.
He nodded his head. “Had ta stock up for the winter.”
“And what if I had refused?” she asked impishly.
“Then it would have ta last me a life time. I would’ve gone alone – ferever” he answered with full conviction.
“Oh Logan” she was touched at his declaration. Rising from her chair, she hugged him, kissing him passionately. Her kisses filling his overflowing heart further…with love. Love…her love for him…just as deep and profound as his for her.
-------
Forty-five minutes later,
“Ready darlin’” he asked her, as she made her way down the mansion stairs, her bag slung over her shoulder.
“Yes” she answered as lovingly as she had to his proposal.
Reaching him, she handed him the bag. Slinging the bag on the side, he motioned her to get on the bike.
Sliding up behind him, she drew closer, enclosing her legs against his, their hips flush with each other’s.
Gunning the engine, he slowly pulled away from the mansion and towards their destination – Canada.
As they exited the mansion gates, she lay her head on his back and her hands coming to rest over his heart. Raising his left hand he covered her covered hers with his own, completing the connection.
At that instant, they weren’t two separate incomplete people anymore.
They were complete. They were one.
They had fulfilled their promise to each other.
And in doing that, had completed each other with everlasting love.
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