Chap 14: FINALLY
Later that evening, back in her room, Ororo took her place on her balcony leaning against the railing, looking out over the moon-lit grounds. As much as she wanted to stay with Logan, she felt that it wouldn’t be the right thing to do since she had just broken up with Forge. A sigh escaped her lips just as a shadow fell from the roof, landing next to her.
“You’re late,” Ororo told her friend, not moving from her spot to see her friend.
Straightening his trench coat, Gambit leaned against the wall behind her. After a few minutes, Ororo turned to look at her friend, who hadn’t said a word since he dropped in, something totally out of character for him. She could tell that something was up when her eyes met his troubled ones.
“Remy?” she asked, her voice filled with concern.
“ ‘Chere, Gambit need ya help,” he said, his face serious.
“You know you have it, regardless of what it is,” she replied, totally forgetting about her own dilemma.
“Gambit has this problem that he can’t turn to no body but you,” he said, finally meeting her questioning eyes.
“I’m sure that we can figure out a way to solve it,” she replied.
“Oui. Gambit tinks we can figure it out,” he replied sadly, looking beyond her to the grounds.
“What are we figuring out?” Ororo asked gently.
“Gambit needs you to come with him to pick Rogue’s ring.”
Ororo looked at him, her eyes widening with surprise.
“A Ring. As in an engagement ring?” she asked, grabbing both his hands.
He nodded, a smile creasing his handsome face. She hugged him tightly, happy that her friends were getting married.
“You sneak. Why did you act as if there was something serious going on?”
“This is serious, ‘chere.”
“Oh. You know what I mean,” Ororo said, swatting his arm playfully, “Does she know yet?”
“No, and Gambit wants to keep it that way.”
“Your secret’s safe with me. So what brought this on?” Ororo asked smiling as she leaned against the railing again, gazing out over the grounds.
“The same thing that made you decided to tell Forge the truth, ‘chere,” Gambit said, seriously, joining her at the railing.
“Do many people know?”
“No…I overheard you and him talking in the garden.”
Ororo looked at Gambit, shocked that he had been eavesdropping.
“Gambit, you know there is a such thing as privacy,” she said, trying to keep the anger out of her voice, knowing he would do whatever it took to take care of the women he loved, even if it meant eavesdropping.
“Only when de person is trustworthy. Dere’s something about Forge Gambit doesn’t like,” he replied.
“Well, my friend, you don’t have to worry about that anymore.”
“Maybe. Maybe not,” he said, his implied meaning hanging heavily in the air between them as they gazed silently out at the grounds, each deep in their own thoughts.
After making a promise to go with him tomorrow to look at rings, Gambit left his friend sitting at her desk, ready to record the day’s events in her journal as he made his way to his nightly rendezvous.
Journal Entry #135
Today I almost lost the man I love. In a battle, Juggernaut threw Logan into Scott, sending them both went over a cliff. Logan though seriously hurt was able to get Forge’s attention who in turn alerted everyone of their location. After seeing Logan bruised and battered, I realized that I was playing a dangerous game with my heart by not telling him or Forge the truth. The irony of it all was that the man who loved me saved the man I love. Today’s events was the catalyst for me to do something that I had long ago decided, to tell Forge the truth. He was hurt by our conversation. It hurt me as well but it was something that I needed to do to be true to myself and be fair to him. Try as I did to persuade my heart to love him, my love for Logan proved to powerful to let go. Instead of abating, my love for Logan grew stronger and today’s events served as a sign to me of what I needed to do. Now the question is whether or not Logan is in a position to give me the love that I need or is he still in love with Jean? Has our time apart done to him what it has done to me, solidified something that seems meant to be? But is it all worth it? Is love worth all the pain that a broken heart causes? Without a doubt, it is - as seen in the eyes of Jean and Scott and Rogue and Gambit when they look at the other. Can Logan and I share the same? I think we can, only if he is ready. And there’s only one way to find out. Until next time.
Ororo
Closing her journal, Ororo returned it to its place in her desk drawer and engaged the lock. Stretching her arms high above her head, she headed to the bathroom to get ready for bed. Pulling back the covers, Ororo enjoyed the coolness of the sheets as she tucked them around her. Before drifting off in a restless sleep, she prayed that she could finally find the love she was looking for.
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After she had completed her morning ritual, Ororo took the skies, headed to the patio where the Team held its combat training sessions. Landing, Ororo watched as Kitty and Dazzler sparred on one of the mats. On the other side, she could see Kurt teaching Jubilee how to throw her opponent. As she watched them, she couldn’t help thinking that Logan would be proud that the kids had taken it upon themselves to continue their training. Not wanting to disturb them, she silently made her way into the mansion, on her way to the subbasement.
Stepping off the elevator, Ororo headed to the infirmary, hoping that today Logan will gain consciousness. Although he had sustained the injuries the day before, with his healing factor, what would take months for a normal person to recover would take Logan a day or so. Holding onto that thought, Ororo walked into the infirmary and smiled when she saw Logan sitting on the side of his bed.
“Logan!” she said, rushing over to him, startling the mutant.
Looking up, Logan’s face fell into a slow smile as he watched Ororo rush over. “Hey Ro,” he said heavily.
“What are you doing up? You should be resting,” she scowled him. Pressing the button to raise the bed, Ororo fussed with the pillows, fluffing them before gently pushing him back against them.
“Well, ya know can’t nothing keep me down,” he said, grunting as he found a comfortable place in bed, watching Ororo as she stood there, an amused smile on her beautiful face.
“I know but I also know that regardless of how fast you heal, you still need to rest. Everything else can wait,” she said, touching his face.
“Not everything ‘Ro,” he said, taking her hand in his and looking deep into her eyes, hoping that the Gods had heard his prayer.
“If it’s meant to be, then it shall be,” she replied, smiling gently as she pressed the assistance button, “and it can wait because now, we have to get Hank so he can take a look at you.”
Deep in conversation, Hank and Forge didn’t see Ororo enter the infirmary. “We can finish talking about this later, my friend,” Hank said sadly, feeling bad for his friend and sympathizing with his heartache.
“What does it matter, Hank? I’ve lost her to him. The thing that I can not understand is what is it about him?” Forge asked his friend rhetorically just as the bell for assistance sounded. Looking up, they could see Ororo standing next to Logan’s bed, helping him get comfortable.
“That, my friend, is something only they know,” he said, as he stood and made his way out the lab, heading toward his teammates.
“Logan. We’re very happy to see that you have rejoined us,” Hank said, as he and Forge joined Ororo. Hank walked to the other side of Logan’s bed to check the machines and make some minor adjustments.
“Yeah, Logan. Its great to have you back,” Forge said flatly, glancing angrily at Ororo before looking at Logan.
Sensing his anger, Logan knew something wasn’t right between them. If he hurt Ro, Logan thought angrily, grunting as his body responded painfully to Hank’s examination.
“Sorry, my friend. I just wanted to make sure the bones have mended,” Hank responded to Logan’s angry scowl, pulling Logan away from his thoughts.
“Is everything okay, Hank?” Ororo asked, worried.
“Indeed it is. His body is healing as it should. It will probably be a day or two at the most before he can resume his normal activity,” Hank told her, hearing the worry in her voice, “He will be good as new.”
“Good,” Ororo said to Hank, before asking Logan, “You must be famished after your extended nap. Would you like me to get you something from the kitchen?”
“If it’s not too much trouble,” Logan said, grunting as he moved again, situating himself so that he could see who was coming and going.
“Not a problem at all,” she assured him, before gently touching his arm and whispering, “Welcome back.”
With a glance in Forge’s direction, Ororo made her way to the kitchen.
“If you would excuse me, gentlemen, I have something I need to finish in the lab. Logan, if you need anything, just push the button,” Hank said before nodding to Forge and going back through the glass door.
Left alone, the silence was heavy between them. As he watched him, Logan realized that he hadn’t had a chance to thank Forge for saving him.
“Forge,” Logan called out, trying to get Forge’s attention. When he did, Logan continued. “Thanks man for saving me the other day. Ah appreciate the help,” he said, holding his hand out for Forge to shake.
Ignoring the outstretched hand, Forge regarded Logan silently. After a few minutes, he decided to finally express the thoughts he had been holding back.
“I didn’t do it for you,” he said, taking the seat next to Logan, causing Logan to sit up so that they could be face to face, “I did it for her. Not much good that did me.”
“What the hell are you talking about?” Logan growled, offended that his expression of thanks had been ignored, something that he rarely did.
“I’m talking about Ororo. I did it for her because I love her but that didn’t matter. Because in the end, all she wanted was you.”
“So why are you telling me this?”
“Why? Because it was something that I felt all along but I ignored it and tried to do things that would make her love me. But even that didn’t work,” Forge asked him calmly, his bitterness bubbling just under the surface, “Tell me Logan, what it is that makes you so irresistible for someone like Ororo who is definitely out of your league? Is there something I’m missing?”
“It really pisses ya off that ah woman like ‘Ro loves me more than she loves ya. Ya see me and automatically think savage beast,” Logan said, keeping his anger in check, allowing his words to do the job like ‘Ro had taught him, “But ya don’t see is what she sees and that is something that you and everyone else will never understand. So I’m sorry if she broke ya heart but don’t try analyzing why things happened the way that they did. Maybe there’s something greater at work that makes anything ya do insignificant when up against it.”
Forge, angry and shocked by Logan’s words was about to respond when the doors slid open and Ororo stepped through with a tray of food for Logan with Gambit and Rogue in tow.
“I’m sorry, were we interrupting something?” Ororo asked, stopping near Forge, looking at the men with questioning eyes.
“No. I was just leaving,” Forge said calmly, standing and taking the tray from Ororo. Setting the tray on the table next to Logan’s bed, Forge turned to Logan. “And Logan, you are more than welcome.” With a nod in Ororo’s direction, Forge joined Hank in the lab.
“What’s his problem?” Rogue asked after the lab door slid close.
“Maybe it be the result of a broken heart,” Gambit said slyly.
“What ya talkin’ ‘bout, Swamp Rat?” Rogue asked.
“Yeah, Cajun, what you talkin’ ‘bout?” Logan asked, as Ororo pushed the table in place so Logan could reach the food.
“Nothing that needs to be talked about right now,” Ororo said looking at Gambit, a trace of annoyance in her voice.
“Did we miss somethin’?” Rogue asked.
“No, ‘chere. Just a little something Stormie wants to keep to herself for a while. I’ll tell ya later,” Gambit said, knowing he was pushing Ororo’s buttons.
“Gambit,” Ororo said warningly.
“Okay, Okay…Gambit guess it comes out when its time,” he said, his eyes gleaming mischievously, “Come on, Rogue, let’s go get something to eat. De Wolverine’s food making Gambit hungry.”
“Okay. Give me a sec, “Rogue said, going over to stand on the other side of Logan, “Ah know we not de best of friends, Logan, but Ah’m real happy ya feelin’ bettah. Good to have ya back.”
Bending over, Rogue placed a gloved hand over Logan’s cheek and kissed it.
Smiling, Logan nodded his head, “Ya still cool wit me, Rogue, even if ya man is a coward.”
“Watch what ya say, mon ami…,” Gambit said playfully, “Like Rogue say, its’ good to have ya back. Gambit didn’t have no one to spar wit.”
Laughing, Rogue hit him playfully, as Remy pulled a deck of cards from his pocket.
“Ya know, Wolverine, we nevah finished our match. Care to continue,” he said playfully.
Before Logan could respond, Ororo spoke up. “That’s one match that neither of you will be continuing. If you two ever feel the need to kill someone, save it for the field, not each other,” Ororo said, seriously, with Rogue nodding.
“Aw, Stormie, I was only jokin wit de Wolverine,” Gambit said, feigning disappointment.
“That may be true but that something I don’t care to experience again. So gentlemen, if you care for us, you will refrain from killing each other. Can you handle that?” Ororo asked, looking from Logan to Remy back to Logan.
“Yeah,” Logan told them.
“Yeah, me too.”
“Okay, so now that that’s settled, let’s get some vittles, Swamp Rat,” Rogue said, grabbing his hand.
“Sure, Rogue. Just a sec,” Gambit said before he leaned over and whispered something in Logan’s ear, to which Logan smiled.
“You got my word, Cajun.”
“Just so you and me on the same page, mon ami,” Gambit said before taking Rogue’s hand. With a quick look and sly smile, Gambit led Rogue out of the infirmary, headed to the kitchen.
“What was that all about?” Ororo asked, curious about what Gambit whispered to Logan.
“Just me and de Cajun getting a better understanding of each other,” Logan said taking a bite of his breakfast, offering some to Ororo who declined, “Speaking of the Cajun, one thing I can’t figure out is why you and him are so close.”
“It something that many people can’t figure or understand. But it’s not for others to understand. We know why and that’s all to it. Whenever I need him, he’s there, no questions asked. But,” Ororo said, sitting back in the chair, getting comfortable, “I’m sure others say the same thing about you and me, Logan,”
“Yeah, I was told as much today.”
“Really? Who told you that?”
“It’s not important. But I was wondering about something ya said,” he said, wiping his mouth and turning toward Ororo so he could get closer to her, “Ya said that the Cajun would be there for you, no questions asked?”
“That’s right.”
“So is that like what you did for me that night at the club?”
“Yes. Very few people in the world have earned that place in my heart,” Ororo told him, wondering where the conversation was headed.
“So that means I’m one of them?”
Chuckling, Ororo nodded. “Yes, Logan, you are one of those people. Regardless of what happens, you will also hold a special place in my heart,” she reassured him.
“Even after what I put you through?”
“It was touch and go for a moment but when my heart makes a choice about someone, it holds true to it, refusing to let it go, in spite of any pain it may suffer.”
“‘Ro, I broke a promise I made to you,” he started, wiping his mouth and getting a puzzled look from Ororo.
“I promised ya that I would never do anything to hurt ya but we see how that turned out. ‘Ro, even after everything we’ve been through since, I haven’t once said I’m sorry for hurting ya the way I did,” he began, and she started shaking her head.
“Logan, you do not have to do this.”
“No, darling,” he said, touching the side of her face gently before taking her hand in his, “I’ve waited long enough to say something that should have been said months ago. What you said at the steps about me still loving Jean was true. I don’t know what was going on with me. I knew that she was in a relationship with Scott but I didn’t care. I saw what I wanted and even after all of the long conversations Jean and me had and her blatantly saying that she didn’t love me, didn’t stop me from loving her. Even spending time with you at the cabin didn’t stop it.”
Ororo looked at the man she loved, experiencing the pain again that encountered months ago when she decided enough was enough. Logan, why are you doing this, she thought, as her eyes began to water.
Seeing the tears in her eyes, Logan felt like shit but he knew that if he was going to get her back, he would have to put all his cards on the table, even if that meant opening old wounds.
“So have you stopped loving her?” Ororo asking angrily, a tear sliding down her face, finally asking the question she had longed to ask him.
“Yes. I can honestly say that I don’t love her in that way anymore,” he told her wiping the tear from her face.
Forge watched as Logan caressed Ororo’s face, his blood boiling. “How dare she flaunt her affair with him in my face?” he said, not realizing he has uttered it aloud.
“That’s not Ororo’s way,” Hank said, coming over to stand next to him, watching the couple as they talked.
“How would you know?” Forge said angrily, facing Hank.
“Whoa. Calm down, my friend. I know because Ororo’s my friend. Being her friend, I also know that Ororo is a one man woman and very loyal. She would not hurt anyone intentionally. If she did, I’m sure she feels she did what was necessary,” Hank told him, glancing out at the couple once more before heading back to his seat, “If it really bothers you, I would suggest you talk to her about it later, after you calm down.”
Though he knew his friend was right, Forge couldn’t help feeling that he needed to confront them now. Later, a voice in his head said, as he watched the couple, Later. Sighing deeply, Forge heeded the advice of his friend and the small voice, moving away from the glass. Sitting at his work station, Forge tried to focus on assisting Hank with the modifications to the lab equipment.
“So what are you trying to tell me, Logan?” Ororo said, enjoying the feel of his touch.
Taking a deep breath, Logan took the plunge. “I know I hurt you. Ah could see it in your eyes. It hurts me more seeing that pain in your eyes than Juggernaut throwing me over that cliff the other day. What I’m trying to say ‘Ro is…,” he started, struggling to find the right words, “I’m in love with you ‘Ro. I miss what we had. I apologize for breaking your heart so many months ago. Will you accept my apology and give me another chance to love you?” Logan asked, looking deep in her eyes.
Tired of wasting time, Ororo responded in the way that her heart wanted to respond.
“Yes,” Ororo whispered before leaning toward him and kissing him deeply.
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