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...italics...= thoughts
"...." = speaking
... = In a phone conversation, a pause for the person on the other side of the line to speak.

Logan rubbed his eyes. The clock said two thirty in the morning but he couldn’t believe it. It felt like days since he’d sat down by her side. There had been no one in the room, even Remy mysteriously absent from the med bay, and late at night. Ororo lay on the bed, peaceful but still unconscious, and alone.
Blinking in the grayish light that seeped in from the hall, Logan took her hand. It was warm but limp. Shaking his head, he cursed.
“Ororo, honey,” he said. “Ororo baby it’s time to wake up. Please wake up.”

But she remained there, still. He put his head to her chest so he could hear the sure thumping of her heart and sighed. He hadn’t been this close to her in longer than forever. He felt so alone as if he was just a shadow, walking among the living, every day going through the motions. He knew it was all his fault. Snorting, he knew she knew it was all his fault which was why she didn’t want to talk to him. If he’d known her last words to him would be “Don’t” he would have been happier at the time, cherishing the moment as only a desperate man can.

After a while he removed himself from her and went back to his seat. He was exhausted, down to his bones, from his habitual afternoon sixty mile run. But that’s what it usually took for him to fall asleep lately. With his whole body in shut down from being pushed to its absolute limit, his brain usually shut down in response.
Last night he’d come home to one of his worst nightmares and refused to sleep, keeping watch over Ororo until sleep had gently slipped over him.

Henry entered the room and smiled as he checked the machines readings. He’d been doing this on an hourly basis and since midnight Logan had been so fast asleep even he didn’t hear him come in. The hulking mass had moved, his snoring stopped, since Henry had last been in.
“Awake?” he mouthed, knowing Logan could hear what he was saying.
Logan looked up at him and Henry turned away in shock but covered it with a cough and pretended to be checking his chart. In the dim light Logan looked as haunted as he’d looked at his very worst.
Henry looked to the ceiling and muttered his catchphrase sadly, “My stars and garters.”

Logan looked down at Ororo, afraid to take her hand again in case she might hear about it.

*Me? Afraid? YES.*

He didn’t know what she would say to him being here considering how she felt about him. Much less his touch, considering she had a new boyfriend. He should have expected he scolded himself. Ororo was everything any man could want and more. Just because he had been blind to it on more than one occasion didn’t mean other men, smarter men, would too. Why should she stay alone for him? Waiting until he grew up and made up his mind about how he felt about her. It was weird to regret one of the best nights of his life. He’d gained Shaewn but the price had been steep.

“She’ll should wake in a few hours, my friend,” Henry said finally.
Logan nodded. “Do me a favor? Don’t tell her I was here.”
Henry nodded before leaving the dark room.

In a secret meeting:

Shaewn rolled his eyes. “So let me get this straight: you don’t have a plan?”
Remy laughed, “Love ain’t an exact science, right chere?”
Jubilee pouted, “Yeah and I don’t see you coming up with any brilliant plans yourself. I got everyone here at least!”
They were all in Ororo’s room making battle plans at Remy’s suggestion. He figured she wouldn’t be using it for the night and no one, besides him of course, would dare enter without her permission. Besides it was the one place they could be sure Logan was avoiding like the plague. Logan had been unseen since Shaewn had made him aware of Ororo’s condition.
Kitty sighed, even she didn’t know where Logan was and that bothered her.
The group were no closer to creating a plan that everyone could agree on. Some were beyond convoluted and others were borderline miracles. Jubilee, Shaewn, Rogue, Remy, and even Kitty (a state that usually required Drake) were getting heated from the bleak prospects.
“We need something we can all agree on,” Kitty said, twirling her long brown hair around her finger in concentration. “Something that stands a chance!”
A knock came at the door and everyone looked at each other, stricken.

Had Ororo been release early? Remy motioned for them to follow his lead.

Remy opened the door as casually as he could while remaining cautious. If it was anyone besides Ororo he could easily get rid of them. If it was her, they would all have a lot of explaining to do.

In front of him was a dishevelled but clear eyed Henry.
“May I join you?” he asked politely and they all breathed a ragged sigh of relief.
“What are you doing here?” Shaewn asked. “I mean, how did you find us?”
“Well that is easy, young man. I rerouted the-ahem, I found you by using the security detail and make certain deductions,” he explained simply when Remy gave him a dirty look. Remy hated overly technological talk when it was just so Henry could hear himself talk.
Jubilee squawked, “See? Surveillance!” before clapping a hand over her own mouth.
Kitty explained it further to Shaewn who still looked confused.
“A part of the security can tell you, if you know what you’re doing, which doors have been opened in the entire mansion, which are divided into quadrants, and when they were opened and closed. Typically its not that specific but if you have the know-how it is pretty easy to get the info beyond those basic quadrants. But Henry answer me this if you’re so brilliant, where’s Logan?”
“That too is easy but troubling,” Henry said sadly. “I saw him a few moments ago. That is why I am here.”
“Why, what happen’ to ‘im?” Rogue asked, leaning forward in her seat.
Remy, Kitty, Jubilee, and Shaewn looked on worriedly.
“He is so broken by this,“ Henry spoke softly, shaking his head. “I never realized how well he was hiding it from us all but he truly is a master of the impenetrable. I saw his soul, ladies and gentlemen. And it was a sad little shattered thing indeed.”

In the medbay:

Ororo groaned slightly. She felt something press against the palm of her hand before it was gone. She sat up quickly, too quickly before falling back down. She was not in her bed. Her voice caught in her throat momentarily with the fear.

*WHERE AM I?*

But then, slowly, the room stopped turning and recognition came over her. She was in the school’s medical area. She let her mind settle, the familiar smells washing over before sitting up again. One smell was very familiar.

*Logan. He was here recently for a long period of time. Oh my goddess, is he hurt as well? Maybe he‘s in a nearby room?*

She went to the door and opened it, looking into the empty hall, and knowing Henry would be made aware she was awake. She didn’t mind, she could use the company in this lonely part of the school. After quickly checking several of the nearby rooms, Ororo returned to her room. She touched the seat of the chair beside her bed, where it was pulled away from the wall and drawn up to the bedside; it was still a little warm.

Eventually she heard Henry’s steps and the whir of an approaching Charles. She smiled pleasantly as Henry told her nothing was wrong with her physically but he would like to continue testing, unsure of the cause of the fainting and shaking. She heeded his suggestion that although she was released from his immediate care she should take a relaxing break from a heavy schedule and allow another teacher to overtake her courses.

She felt in a mild state of delirium, barely hearing the words. Logan had been with her all night she realized, she had not been alone. Her heart swelled with emotions she was trying to control from the two other men as she left.
Immediately she went to her room which Remy had occupied in her absence but was gone now. She could tell it was him by the messy bed, the chips on her dresser, and her radio was turned on to his favourite station. She curled into the mess of the blankets he left behind as the music tinkled in the background. The clouds parted and the sun broke through as if it was a summer day and the winds were warmer and gentler than previous days of the whole month of November.

Back in the med bay:

“Charles, was it just me or did she take that remarkably well?” Henry asked, scratching his temple. Ororo? Listening to him? Very unusual.
“Well, one shouldn’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” Charles responded, equally perplexed.
“Yes well, here is the thing. I can’t run more tests on Ororo. I put her body, blood, and muscles through every test I could think of. I stayed up all night doing it. It remains that the problem may be in the mind, not the body.”
Charles looked up at his student, his fingers underneath his chin, “I do not understand what you’re reaching at, McKoy. Please explain.”
“I believe Ororo has just suffered a very serious panic attack. Remy said when she initially went down she was screaming that she couldn’t breathe and then that she couldn’t see. Also, when she woke up, Charles I hate to implicate the man but her first words were Logan’s name. Also I did not notice the emergency because I was configuring new exercises for them to pace through. I noticed when I went to shut down that at the time they were fighting a darker version of our team. Charles it was Logan as a darker Wolverine who was approaching her in a simulated forest,” Hank sighed.
Charles looked away, unable to say anything. Finally he told Henry: “Put Ororo through her paces. You must find the absolute source of this mysterious illness. We do not want to jump to any conclusions.”
“Of course not.”

Logan inhaled as he ground out his cigarette in his palm, a trick he hadn’t done since he was in the Vietnam War to stop himself being tracked by his cigarette ashes. The day was unusually nice considering the time of year. He still wanted to tear his heart out over what he’d just heard anyway.

*Fuck the weather, fuck these kids coming out to play. Yeargh, fuck this burn. It hurts.*

He had promised himself he’d just pass by under her window to check on her one last time since he’d kissed her palm goodbye. Instead, she was gone and it was only Henry and Charles talking amongst themselves. He appreciated how much of a friend Henry was, trying not to make the whole thing his fault.

*But the whole damn thing is my fault, pal. And I’m gonna start taking responsibility for my actions and the people around me, starting now.*

He promised himself he’d stay the hell away from her from now on, just to save the grief it gave her. He’d leave too but there was Shaewn to think of. He put the cigarette in his pocket safely and exhaled as the pain in his hand faded away and the pain in his heart remained.





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