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... = In a phone conversation, a pause for the person on the other side of the line to speak.

In the West wing-

Shaewn stared at the ceiling. He’d finally got a break from the harsh amount of notes his philosophy class required as his teacher took a break from dictation to engage some students in discussion. Stretching his fingers he relieved a part of the cramp in his hand but the whole left arm throbbed. He was looking really forward to his after school nap. Because after that was another session with his uncle in the danger room when he came back from work, an hour with Scott on the blackbird manual controls, dinner, homework until midnight and then he’d be allowed to pass out again. Then he’d get up at seven am and do the whole damn thing again.
“Christ,” he muttered.
“Excellent point, Mr. Dakota,” his teacher, Mr. Browning, stated. He was the oddest thing: clearly someone who spent time in libraries with his pale skin but naturally over muscled and a buzz cut. It was rumoured he’d spent time in the army before dishonourable discharge for not following orders. Either that, or killing a guy. He wore brown corduroy or tweed everything and he didn’t shave his face very well. Also, he was one of the few people who understood everything Henry said.
“Let us consider religion in the ethics of murder. Can there be a justification? Now Mr. Surd, I believe will counter this argument.”
Jackie Surd, a green haired boy who was known for his witty brilliance, sarcasm, and getting into trouble often, turned to Shaewn. Shaewn sighed and wished he hadn’t said anything.
“Well, I guess you might argue that religion translates to a person’s attachment to their collective unconscious and thus their moral level,” Jackie started and Shaewn yawned. “However this is probably pointless since in order to keep your own moral conscious clear you’d have to not think about the gazillions of poor victims your own family member murdered in cold blood.”
“Mr Surd-” Mr. Browning started, standing up from his desk.
Shaewn snapped to attention. In fact he stood at attention.
“What? Oh god is probably exactly what they must have said before he slit their throats…” Jackie started as he stood as well.
Shaewn ran over and punched the boy in the nose before he liquefied to escape. Several students screamed and stampeded out of the room, expecting a Wolverine sized fight in the tiny room. The ones who were left packed their things quickly and backed out.
Shaewn stood there, his fist wet with salt water and blood raised to his shoulder, and watched them run. Mr Browning put a hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t worry son,” he said as he looked into Shaewn’s face, an expression of scrunched together hurt and anger and lack of understanding. “Get thyself to Summer’s office. I’ll clean up Mr Surd and send him down directly.”
Mr Browning grabbed an emergency plastic bag from the medic first aid kit and stopped Shaewn before he left with a pleasant smile, “Would you mind shaking your hand of those pieces of Mr Surd in this bag?”
Shaewn raised an eyebrow.

In Scott’s office-

“I see,” Scott said to the boy.
He was sulking in his seat, his knapsack at his side, a constant companion.
“You know, anyone ever tell you, you look exactly like Logan right now?”
“Yeah sure, that’s why everyone is terrified that I’m going to go into a murdering rage just cause some asshole starts running his mouth,” Shaewn shot back. “It’s so stupid. I wouldn’t even really know how to throw a punch if I hadn’t learned it here. And every guy wants me to “Fight him fight him” to see how strong they are. This is all so much bullshit. And now this! It’ll probably get blown up into this death defying situation on the rumour mill which it completely wasn’t.”
“Well that’s the problem with a reputation,” Scott said, absently organizing items on the neat desk. “They work for you and against you. You can’t choose what side of things people will see.”
Shaewn rolled his eyes and leaned forward, “When has it been positive?”
“Well you got a ready made family in this school based on Logan’s reputation alone. And a lot of the girls here probably consider you very mysteriously appealing because when Logan first arrived, he went after a lot of girls. You don’t do that so they think you’re playing hard to get. That’s sure lucky for you and for the guys of this school.”
Shaewn didn’t think he could roll his eyes any harder. “Oh really? Why?”
“Because frankly Logan got every girl he went after. Well nearly. He didn’t get my Jean but I held on to her by a thread and luck,” Scott laughed.
Shaewn looked at him, mildly interested in his uncle’s past love life before Ms. Munroe.
Scott continued when he saw he had the youngster’s attention. “Notice how all the teachers know who you are and want to help you? In fact isn’t everyone really helpful and includes you in everything? Reputation proceeds you. Notice how you got sent to me instead of a disciplinary officer?“
“Yeah, well I thought-“
“I’m a little higher in administration than that, Dakota. You don’t realize it, and Logan will probably talk about all of his possible enemies, but he has more people out there definitely willing to die for him then maybe even he realizes. I am one of them. And that’s not just talk, we’ve been in positions where my life for his has been called for and I never hesitated. Again luck and training have turned the tides so that I’m still here. I love that guy though I’ll kill you if you tell him that.
Shaewn, Logan could die tomorrow and you could go to any continent in this world and some countries on a few other planets and you’d be raised by someone like their own. That is to say if you refused to stay with us but Charles would be very insistent, not to mention Jubilee, Ororo, Pietro, Kitty, Henry…Now those are only a part of the positives. A small sliver of the reputation that you carry on your shoulders.”
Shaewn looked up at him thoughtfully as Scott paused.
“But the ugly truth is that apart of your reputation is made up of some hard truths and even uglier gossip. There are vicious people out there and you can’t let them get to you as they did today. The things the X men have been through-those stories are too complicated for common gossip and you carry that part of our reputation with you as well. You wouldn’t believe the stuff people say about Jean and I alone, much less the rest of the X men.
Don’t let your reputation define who you are.”
Shaewn was silent for a minute before he spoke, “You know, Logan makes you out to be a lot worse than you are.”
Scott laughed, “If we were the same age I’d probably be giving you the exact same speech anyway. Tell me how great I am then. No, I‘m probably just as bad as Logan thinks, he‘s known me longer.”

Shaewn waved to Scott as he was sent off to wait for his uncle in his room under seclusion. Kitty and Bobby fell into step with him nearly immediately. He wondered if they had been sent to make sure he went directly to his room as he intended to do irregardless. Their next statements destroyed that theory.
“Dude we have got to hide you until Logan calms down,” Bobby explained.
Kitty nodded in agreement. “He’s going to flip when he finds out you were in a fight.”
“But it was the most non fight fight of all existence,” Shaewn protested.
Bobby shrugged, “Yeah, but Logan… he might need to be calmed down. Don’t worry, we have Jubilee posted to intercept him and spin the whole thing positively. He’ll know something’s up when he sees her in the garage.”
Shaewn asked why.
“Because we always post her as a shield and calming agent whenever we do something bad to Logan,” Kitty grinned. “Like the time Bobby smashed his motorcycle headlight. By the time Jubz was done with him he only hit Bobby on the back of the head twice.”
“It hurt,” Bobby interrupted. “But it could have been worse. Way worse. Besides he really needed to be soothed when he found out you fracked up his BMW engine.”
This entire time the pair had been propelling a dubious Shaewn away from his room. Shaewn rolled his eyes.
“Guys,” he started but they were completely ignoring him.
“You were the one who wanted to be all impressive and act like you knew what you were doing,” Kitty shot back. “Besides, my hand slipped and I didn’t want to get oily!”
“Right cause you said you had a date with a mystery person, built it up so big, but really it was just you and bloody Pete going to the movies,” Bobby said as he revolved icicles balls between his fingers. “Lame.”
“Well I’ll just go to my room like I’m supposed to,” Shaewn whispered and backed up the stairs slowly.
“YOU DWEEB! You followed me?” Kitty screamed.
“I was bored.”

Shaewn walked up to the top floor before he realized he was on the opposite end of the school from his dorm. He sighed, dreading going past the arguing two. Even worse he slowly started to realize why this area seemed so familiar and his stomach clenched as it became clear that he was in the last place he ought to be.
Shaewn gulped.
“Please come in, I know you’re there, Shaewn.”

Back in Scott’s office-

“HE’S MY FUCKING RESPONSIBILTY, SCOTT,” Logan shouted.
Scott calmly responded, “What the hell is wrong with you, Logan? He’s our family.”
“No, he’s not. He’s my responsibility,” Logan repeated, glaring at Scott from the door. The boy had needed him and of course, he wasn‘t there. “He’s got nothing to do with you. You shouldn‘t have interfered.”
“Logan get off your high horse, he doesn’t belong to you like one of your bikes,” Scott rubbed at the ridge growing in his forehead. “Besides I simply talked to him and sent him to his room. He’s sitting there now waiting for you. I was trying to help. Considering that it isn’t easy being your nephew here…”
Logan marched to the desk, his knuckles grazing the wood, and whispered, “What the hell do you mean by that?”
Scott threw up his hands, “Nothing, forget it. You know I’d ask if you were rendered deranged lately but I already have my answer! It’s impossible talking to you like this. I hope you calm down before you go to him. He might actually take what you say personally.”

Logan turned around and left, slamming the door behind him so hard it splintered. He stomped nearly the entire way to Shaewn’s room.

Meanwhile…in the basement kitchen

Jean paused carefully before speaking, “Let me understand this, you two dragged me down here so you could ask me, again, to help get a pair of adults who don’t want to be together to get together as a couple? I thought we put this to rest yesterday! Honestly I could expect this from Jubilee but Remy? I cannot believe you are risking getting yourself involved with this stupid hairbrained scheme.”
Remy cocked his head. “Really why?”
“You have a lot to lose. Logan may forgive Jubilee her optimism but Ororo is very aware of how not innocent you are to the rules of love,” Jean smiled as she spoke and Remy frowned. “She’ll never speak to you again. Not to mention Wolverine.”

Remy drummed his fingers against the counter he was leaning against. There was something about Jean lately, the things he’d heard and what he sensed from his gut, that made him not trust her. He was unsure of what it was exactly.
But Jubilee insisted Jean was Ororo’s best girl friend and thus necessary for their plan. He hadn’t the heart to tell her the truth. Ororo and Jean would die for each other but actually having a conversation might cause them to kill each other even faster. The fact was they were two women at two very different points in their lives, had been for years. They were like siblings who if they weren’t related by blood probably would never talk, wouldn’t even have people that they knew in common.
He certainly wouldn’t talk to her. She wasn’t just his type, he wasn’t sure whose type she might be.
“Well, you help us anyway?” he asked her tonelessly.

Jubilee looked on at her hopefully. Jean brushed a hand through her hair and thought of what had happened when she got too close to Logan just a few months ago. She still needed the images to get her to orgasm when she had sex. Not to mention Ororo’s office the day before…

“Jean we need you,” Jubilee burst out finally. “The hearts of two people, two friends, two family members hang in the balance!”
Jean looked at Jubilee sternly, “Jubilee it isn’t the end of the world we‘re talking about. It was a fling that ran its course.”
“Well Jean this isn’t Scott we’re talking about. This is Wolvie. He doesn’t have many happy worlds, he’s always so grouchy. Wasn’t nice when he was happy? I don’t like how they were at first, all mushy…it was depressing to think how long it might be before we get our own happiness like that, but after when he was just really, really happy. Wasn’t that good?”
Remy folded his arms over his chest. The whole matter unsettled him but it was better to have Jean with them than against them. “What if dis was Scott, Jean? Wouldn’t you want us to help him see why it was so great to marry you?”
Jean fidgeted with her blouse for a few more minutes before reluctantly agreeing to help them.
“But if this backfires, this was not my idea. Now what were you guys thinking of doing?” she grinned. Remy narrowed his eyes. He felt like he was being had.
Jubilee clapped her hands and grinned back. “Well I was thinking that we obviously need to…”

And back to Shaewn-

Ororo poured his cup of tea slowly and Shaewn watched her nervously.
Looking up she smiled at him and shook her head as she sat down.
“You are very much like Logan.”
“Yeah, I’ve been hearing that a lot today,” Shaewn said as he sipped at his tea. It was scalding.
Ororo laughed gently, “Well not enough like him. Logan would have gulped that down without a second thought.”
Shaewn’s eyes grew large. “Wouldn’t that hurt?”
“He’d be too proud to show it. It will only heal he might say.”
“Oh.”
Ororo looked to the open terrace windows and called in a gentle cool wind.
“There, try your tea now,” she told him.
Shaewn sipped it. “Uh, its cold?”
Ororo twisted her nose in annoyance. “Maybe that wind was a little too cool. The seasons are…changing. Summer’s heat is over and even Autumn is gone. Funny, I’ve never been the type to get sentimental about the seasons. I’ll boil you another cup.”
Some of her words, her voice, passed over him but Shaewn laughed anyway, “I didn’t think you made mistakes.”
“I make mistakes all the time Shaewn,” she smiled. “But I am very poised and lady like so no one ever calls me on it. Well, except Remy.”
“Hey, I gotta warn you, don’t play cards with that guy. He’s too good.”
Ororo looked back at Shaewn. “I’m afraid you’ve been fleeced.”
“What?”
“He cheated. Remy is terrible at cards otherwise,” Ororo laughed. “The only rules he remembers are the sly ones.”
“Fuck! I mean, well actually I do mean…sorry?”
“It’s alright. So what brings you to my loft?”
“Actually I kind of got lost, sort of. See I got sent to my room for getting into the biggest non fight of the century. But the thing is, I meant to go to my room, I did, but Kitty and Bobby had some sort of plan to get me out of trouble. But I really kind of just wanted to go to my room so I left them downstairs arguing. But there isn’t any other way off this floor besides the stairs which they are arguing at the bottom of. So I ended up here.”
“Why did you get angry enough to get into a non fight?”
“Some kid called… whatever, forget him. He basically went off how my uncle is a murderer and he found out how much I didn’t like liars. It was one punch and I think I just clipped him. It’s just stupid rumours. But the worst part was how everybody made a run for it like I was going to go nuts. Everybody believes that stuff. There was nothing like this shit in my old high school‘s gossip.”
Ororo licked her lips. After taking several calming breathes she spoke.
“Well. That is something to get angry about.”
“Yeah but I shouldn’t have let him get to me so easily right?”
She smiled at this statement. She was nearly positive of whose ideas these were but she refrained from making any accusations. “How very mature! I’m not sure I have the same restraint.”
“Actually that’s what Scott told me to do so next time I’ll follow that.”
“Well there is nothing wrong with vocalizing your displeasure. And I’m not sure how someone could imply such things without intentionally being rude. And really, it was just one punch.
I have to tell you Shaewn, it honestly doesn’t matter to any of us what the others have done. We’ve made mistakes, we’ve been forgiven for them, and we’ve forgiven ourselves. What more could others want?”
Shaewn nodded his agreement.
“I suspect this boy was a bully. And sometimes you fight a bully with kindness or with violence but can you tell me which one is more effective?” Ororo handed him his cup again.
“I suspect kindness but you’re going to have to tell me why,” Shaewn sipped his new cup of tea slowly.
“Because it is was they expect least from you. And after awhile it may come to effect them in some way. It does not have to, Shaewn but if there are any redeemable qualities left to that person, eventually it will.”
Shaewn nodded his understanding.
“I should be getting to my room, Ms Munroe.”
She walked him to her terrace doors.
“Ugh, you’re not going to push me off and see if I heal are you? Cause I won’t,” Shaewn paused to look down the five floors. “I’ll just die and stay that way.”
Ororo laughed, “No, no Shaewn. You don’t know those two very well. They can argue for hours or minutes and no one can ever quite tell when it will be which. This is how I often come and go.”
Shaewn stared at her blankly. Suddenly he realized what she meant to do. He grinned.
“This is so Sonic and the hedgehogs!” he screamed as Ororo let him float gently to the ground. He waved once before running to his room, beating Logan there by minutes.

That night:

Scott poured his juice and refilled Jean’s glass. She murmured something he couldn’t quite catch. He missed her voice.
“What did you say honey?”
Jean looked up at him as she pulled herself out of her thoughts.
“I said thank you,” she murmured.
“Oh,” Scott said. He knew that was what she’d said but, he couldn’t help himself lately. “Chicken is good.”
“Thank you.”
He ate some mouthfuls of very slightly burnt chicken obediently, though he couldn’t have said for whom.
“Anything special happen today?”
Jean stopped poking at her salad long enough to look at him peculiarly. Did he know of the ridiculous plan to get Ororo and Logan back together? Did he know she was involved, even possibly? Would he approve? She shut the gateway between them a little more before she replied, “No not really. You?”
“Hear about the nephew?” Scott asked her and laughed. How couldn’t she have?
Jean nodded and stuffed her mouth full of spinach so she didn’t have to think of anything to say to this. It was all over the school. The antagonist was in isolation for his safety until Charles determined what Wolverine was going to do to him.
“I didn’t tell anyone this but it’s the strangest thing. He looks, Jean he looks just like him but its like half the things that enter Logan’s mind…they don’t even cross his mind. Today I told him about reputation and I felt bad. I was lecturing him for something he didn’t even do and he just tried to make the best of it and see the good of what I was telling him. I got through to him, Jean.
Of course, Logan had to come and ruin that all. He went off as usual,” Scott drank his juice. Jean smothered a laugh. He was like a little kid with that hair, smile, and his cup of juice. She knew he was uncomfortable in front of anyone but her in his white undershirt, his proper shirt slung over the back of his chair. Occasionally his internal temperatures went off the scale and he became unbearably hot.
“What do you mean off?”
“He’s acting like Shaewn isn’t our family too. Shit, we put up with Logan for the rare occasions he does something good. Shaewn is the best thing he’s ever produced. He ought to know that and let us help him not screw it up.”
“Scott!” Jean admonished. She pushed her plate away from her, her appetite lost. “You’ve gotten really snarky lately. I don’t know what’s wrong with you.”
“Really?” Scott asked, looking out the window of their tiny studio apartment built into the mansion. This window overlooked the tree where he’d first spotted her, realizing that thump in his chest meant something. “I was going to ask the same about you. It’s crazy but family, even the Howlett/ Dakota’s, are never what you expect them to be.”
Jean watched her husband carefully. What was he thinking? Absently she used her powers to shred a paper napkin into miniscule bits.
“Scott you’re getting philosophical in your old age,” she sighed. Scott was already sweeping the tiny bits of paper into his hands and into his plate. Did he know how she felt about him? She wished they could go back to their honeymoon, turn the clock back until the day where they we’re about to leave. No seasickness, no chasing wayward mutants; just the hope they’d cherished for the future.
Scott felt these last thoughts through their connection and smiled. He wondered if she knew how he felt, despite the rumours and the substantiated half truths. He could work hard at his marriage but he couldn’t do it alone. Putting these thoughts and his momentary melancholy aside, he continued, “It’s just dangerous to keep expecting your expectations to be reality. I don’t much know what I mean Jean. I guess I’m just an old fart in love with you, huh? I feel sorry for whoever has to have me for a husband with my old fart self.” He was going back to an old joke of theirs from their high school days, out of habit more than anything. Jean smiled at him and kissed his nose as she undid the buttons of her blouse.
“How dirty does the old fart want to get with this young lil’ thang?” she asked him, her blouse removed and she slowly worked her skirt up to reveal the black lacy thong.
Scott grinned and started to unhook the clasp of his belt, his khaki slacks getting kicked off along with the white tube socks.

That night, Jean slipped away to the bathroom. She used the toilet and looked at herself as she washed her hands. Seeing something there, she reached out to touch it, the water still running. When her finger touched her mirrored cheek, it left a water trail on the reflecting glass. On her cheek she felt a tear course its way, similar to the water stain, down her porcelain face.

*WHY AM I SO WEAK?* she wanted to scream to herself. Out loud she apologized to Ororo. She’d agreed to help but she wasn’t really sure she could after all. She still needed Wolverine.





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