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Cyclops stood staring out the tiny window in his room. With Victory at warp, Haven was already so far away. During Victory’s first several hours in space, he felt compelled to perform Captain-like duties. He sat on the bridge as he checked coordinates and poured over the schedules with Storm, he inspected the Danger Room though he had used it countless times on Haven, and he later asked Hank to take him around the engine room.

He paused to ‘talk’ with Jean. //It won’t be long before you are too far away for us to communicate. I already feel the mental connection…beginning to fade// Jean communicated.

//Me too// Scott thought back. After all these years, he found Jean’s ability amazing. He just had to think his replies back to her and she could pick them up.

//This separation will be one of the hardest things I’ve ever done.// Scott continued. //Being away from you, not being able to bond properly with John.//

//I know. But I will talk about you all the time. He’s too young to understand but I can give him mental glimpses of you “ your voice, your manner. I can do it in a way that won’t confuse him but will give him an impression of you.// They had discussed this before but Jean sensed that a reminder would not hurt.

//It will be hard for me to lead this team and be apart from you. You are my strength and my light.// He wished he had a picture of Jean and the baby to bring with him, and he deeply regretted his argument with Jean over the subject of replicating one. He wished he had listened to her. Scott closed his eyes and tried to remember his son’s appearance. He thought back to the last kiss he had placed on the infant.

//You are my strength and light as well, Scott.//

By nighttime, the ship was too far away for telepathic communication to take place. The X-men had left a communications device with Jean and Heather, but it did not have a wide range. Jean and Scott could type messages to each other for a bit longer before too much distance separated the ship and the planet. Scott tried to send his last message and looked hopelessly at the screen as the error message repeated itself. He took a breath. The message was nothing that he hadn’t communicated in the last 48 hours “ words of love for Jean and the baby, words of hope for their mission to defeat FOH, words of pain at being separated from those he loved.

The X-man leader looked at his watch and realized that night on board Victory had passed. It would soon be time for his bridge shift.

Scott walked to the small bathroom and prepared for a bleak day without Jean, without their baby. He disrobed and surveyed the tub and shower. It was clean. Over the years, Scott often would find tendrils of Jean’s hair adorning the shower. It was so long and thick; she had a lot of it and so it tended to just end up all over the bathroom despite Jean’s best efforts. He would gently nudge her to clean it up since Scott preferred things to be neat and orderly. The site of a spotless bathroom used to please Scott but today it just reminded him of Jean’s absence.


***

During Victory’s first “evening” in space, Storm, Gambit, and Rogue stayed up late in the rec room. Once their pool game was finished, they remained to just talk and enjoy each other’s company.

“Seems kinda pointless to say that I miss Haven,” Rogue said. “But I miss it, even though goin’ back to earth’s the right thing to do”.

“I suppose that the saying ‘No use crying over spilt milk’ may apply here,” Storm said. She paused and added, “Although I realize that I sound like Hank when I say that!” She then said, “Our time on Haven was beautiful but we must prepare ourselves for our obligations and the challenges we face”.

“Vacation over, get back to work,” Gambit muttered in agreement, taking another swig of his drink.

“I wish that Moira MacTaggert were on board the ship with us for our journey,” Storm said. “I believe that being around the Professor could only help her”.

Rogue looked down at her gloved hands. “Bein’ around her’s kinda hard though,” she admitted glumly. “Can’t believe what the FOH bastards did to her and Siryn. We barely escaped from it ourselves. What if we hadn’t?? What if they’d done that to us??”

Gambit reached for one of Rogue’s hands and held it. Storm was quiet for several moments and then said, “But they didn’t. I don’t know if speculating on how terrible things might have been will ever help us”.

“Can’t really help it, Storm! We’re goin’ back “ goin’ up against them again. And I just can’t imagine what we’d do if they did do somethin’ like that to us! We’d fall apart! How’d we X-men ever get goin’ again??”

“We do it somehow, chere,” Gambit murmured. “Dis team been t’rough so much, we all so strong. We’d survive somehow, dough I t’ink it be hardest t’ing we ever face”.

“I agree,” Storm added. “Though it is hard to dwell on this subject, I am certain that one way or another, the X-men would survive and continue on. I dearly hope we never have to deal with such a situation”.

“Can’t think of how awful it’d feel if that happened to us X-men. ‘Awful ain’t nowhere near strong enough! We escaped by the skin of our teeth last time, Storm,” Rogue reminded her. “We gonna be so lucky again this time?”

“We do not need luck. We are strong, we are brave, and we have justice and goodness on our side. That will have to be enough for the next time we face FOH”.

“I hope so”.

None of the three slept well their first night back on board Victory.

***

I was nervous when it was time for my first bridge duty shift. In fact, I was starting to think that a session in the Danger Room now sounded good in comparison. But I had no choice. Forge met me on the bridge when it was my turn that second day in space, and he had an instruction manual with him.

“For today, I’m just going to teach you the basics,” Forge began. “Hank is going to sit with you for your next shift to teach you more”.

Oh great, like I needed to be babysat, I thought. But I nodded mutely and reminded myself that this was a huge starship, able to warp through space and execute a bunch of complex tasks “ being responsible for the bridge wasn’t something small.

I didn’t want the other X-men to think I was lazy or stupid, so I tried to pay attention. It was boring as hell though. I was glad Forge had a manual with him because there was no way I was going to remember which sensor detected what.

“The main things you need to do are monitor space and monitor the ship,” he went on. He showed me which controls I could use to scan space and detect our position in it, as well as which monitored our life support system, cloaking device, and engine functions. He showed me the normal ranges for each and said that if anything ever had an abnormal reading, just call Cyclops or Storm. I wrote a few notes in the manual. I noticed that we travelled just behind The Prevail and, as Forge said, we needed to make sure that neither ship got too close to the other. He showed me how to use subspace to contact The Prevail if we had to.

“The hardest thing about bridge duty is boredom,” Forge said. I had sure heard that many times! “You need to stay alert and keep your eye on the sensors. If you have to, you can read or play computer games but you have to keep pausing periodically to monitor the sensors. Always keep in mind that there is a possibility that something could happen “another ship could come into range or a problem could happen with the engines or with life support, and you want to be damn sure that if it happens on your watch, you are right on it”.

“Got it,” I said. “I promise to pay attention”.

Forge then looked away and touched a hand to his temple. “Are you alright?” I asked.

He was quiet for a few seconds which weirded me out just a bit. He then focused on me and said that he was fine. He sat down at the captain’s chair and brought up subspace. He started typing.

“Is something happening?” I asked, confused.

And then I got more confused. Forge’s cheeks were suddenly just a bit flushed. Was he blushing?

“It looks like Emma Frost is contacting our ship,” Forge finally said, sounding distracted. “I, um, I need to take this to the Professor or Cyclops”. He then focused again and looked more like himself. “It’s nothing to be worried about, Bobby”. He stood up to leave and said, “Remember, just call me or Storm or Cyclops if you need something. Or Hank”.

Or anyone, I silently added.

“Okay,” I answered, but Forge was already heading out the door and down the hallway.

***

I tracked down Rogue and Gambit in the rec room as soon as my shift was over. They saw me and smiled. They both had a certain eager look on their faces, and I wasn’t surprised when Rogue suggested we talk somewhere private. The three of us walked down the hall to my room.

“You got news for us, Gambit can tell,” Gambit said.

“And you have news too,” I said. “But I’ll go first”. I told them about the strangeness with Forge and the communication from Emma on the bridge. Then I added, “I spent the rest of my shift decoding a message that was sent from Victory to Prevail “ while periodically keeping my eyes on all the sensors, of course,” I quickly added. I was proud of my computer ability too, and I said, “A shuttle was launched from our ship. I guess Forge took a shuttle over to the Prevail?”

Rogue nodded. “He was in here talkin’ to the Professor before he left. We couldn’t hear what they said, just the Professor sayin’ that he was sure Emma didn’t have any bad intentions and he could take her message at face value”.

“So dat Emma’s invitin’ men over…to enjoy deir ‘company’,” Gambit said.

“I guess that’s the conclusion,” I added. “If ‘enjoy their company’ is a euphemism for sex since I don’t think they’re sitting there discussing literature. I just hope she doesn’t have any sort of trick up her sleeve”.

“She don’t,” Rogue said. “If the Professor says she ain’t lyin’ then she ain’t lyin’. Poor Forge. Havin’ to go to the Professor and ask him if he can take a shuttle to the other ship so he can have sex with Emma”.

“Are you kidding?” I asked. “At this point, the guy’s gotta be overjoyed. Been a while for him. It was smart of the Professor to let him go”. I looked at Rogue and Gambit’s faces. Rogue didn’t look angry. “But what if Emma um…*invites over* some guys who aren’t single?”

“Well, if she invites over one Cajun, she’s either gonna get a ‘no way’ as her answer, or one Cajun’s gonna be single again,” Rogue said matter-of-factly.

But she was smiling and Gambit was too; from the looks on their faces they both understood that the former response was the only one that could conceivably happen. They cuddled and kissed in front of me which I thought was cute. I got up and left them in peace.

I would later learn that in the next few days, at least one other X-man got an invitation from Emma and had accepted it. It was Cannonball. I guess it made sense, since he had ended whatever he had going on Jubilee. Anyway, I was happy for Forge and Cannonball, seriously “ if they are anything like me then it’s hard for them to go for a while without some sex. And I used to like meaningless sex so maybe they did too. Emma certainly seemed to love the arrangement, at least that’s what I assumed though I didn’t know her.

I wondered which of the other X-men would receive invitations from Emma during our trip back to earth. I never got an invitation myself; perhaps word was out in the mutant community that I was gay “ or, more likely, she read my mind to learn that fact. Or heck, maybe she didn’t find me attractive in the first place.


***

During Victory’s second evening in space, Rogue and Gambit heard a knock on their door. “It’s Storm. May I come in?”

“’Course, sugar,” Rogue said, pressing a button to slide the doors apart. The two had been just sitting in their room talking alone, almost ready to go to bed.

“Thank you,” Storm said, stepping through the entrance.

Gambit smiled. “You always so formal, Storm. You don’t gotta t’ank us for lettin’ you in our room”.

Storm returned the smile. “However, I might owe you a thank you when you hear what I have to request of you”. She paused. “As you know, we have two…new people on board. Marrow and Moonstar. I am not sure why they requested to join us for the trip back to earth “ they may truly be interested in learning about the X-men, they might simply want a change of pace after spending weeks with Magneto’s group “ there could be any number of reasons. But I do want to show them what the X-men are all about, and at the same time I would like to help them learn to use their powers. But as you know, much of my time is spent with the Professor and Cyclops trying to determine tactics for when we reach earth. And the two of you have a wonderful way with people. Will you take charge of their training? Find out what they need, help them control their powers, train them. Perhaps even see if you can learn their reason for being here though I am certain we have no cause for concern there. The Professor briefly scanned their minds before we allowed them on board”.

The six-week trip to earth had the potential to be boring, especially since the initial journey to Haven hadn’t been thrilling. Both Rogue and Gambit appreciated the offer; it was an honor to be asked. They both eagerly assented to Storm’s idea.

“Thank you,” the Wind Rider said sincerely.

“Our pleasure,” Rogue said. She then got a glint in her eye. “And since we’re helpin’ with this, we’d sure love to get the scoop on how things are in your neck of the woods. How’s everthin’ goin’ with Logan? You two seem happy together. An’ I notice sometimes you wear a medallion around your neck “ did he make it for you?” she asked, referring to the piece of wood that Logan had carved.

Storm gave an indulgent half-smile as she rose to leave. “I am very happy. I believe Logan is as well. And yes, he carved this for me,” she said, fingering the smooth wood.

Gambit chuckled, “T’ink, chere, dat’s all we’re gonna get from Storm on dis subject”.

Rogue shrugged, still looking at Storm. “It’s somethin’. We just want our friend to be happy”.

“Thank you,” Storm said. “And I assure you that I am very happy”.

***

Rogue and Gambit looked forward to carrying out their mission. The next day, they contacted Marrow and Moonstar using the communicators that the new duo had been given.

“We’re in the gym,” Marrow’s brusque reply came over the communicator. “Sure, let’s talk. We’re not going anywhere”.

Rogue and Gambit soon entered the gym. It was a large room, intended for a sizable FOH crew. Aside from Marrow and Moonstar, the gym’s only other inhabitant was Bobby, who was grudgingly working on one of the cardio machines on the other end of the gym. Marrow and Moonstar were in the weights section, with Marrow reclining on a bench and pressing a barbell.

“You findin’ your way ‘round dis ship okay?” Gambit asked.

“Yeah,” Marrow replied.”Seems pretty easy”.

“How’s your room?” Rogue asked. “Wish we had enough of those officer rooms to give you one of them”.

“Actually, we like the room we have,” Moonstar said. “It’s really big and spacious. Not that we have a ton of belongings or anything like that. We just pushed two of the beds together and that works fine”.

As Moonstar talked, Gambit noted again that his initial impressions of the twosome were being confirmed. Moonstar smiled, looked interested, and generally appeared as if she wanted to be liked. Marrow was more closed and less approachable. He also noted Moonstar’s comment about pushing two of the beds together and felt that confirmed his feeling that they were lesbians.

“You ain’t been inside the Danger Room yet, have you?” Rogue asked.

“No,” Marrow answered.

“Wanna?”

Marrow sat up and looked at Moonstar. “We’d love to. But how does it work? We haven’t ever done much training to fight”. Moonstar said.

“What sorta trainin’ did you have?” Gambit asked. “You fight any? What your powers like?”

“I got bones growing outta my body,” Marrow said bluntly. “Been in plenty of fights in my life “ I can just break a bone off and use it like a club”.

“Does it hurt when you do that, when you rip off a bone?” Rogue asked.

“A lot”.

“Who have you fought agains’?” Gambit asked. “Other mutants?”

“Not usually other mutants. Usually it’s thugs, mutant-haters, gangs, that type”.

“What about you, Moonstar?” Rogue asked. “What’re your powers like?”

Meanwhile, Bobby apparently finished up his workout. He exited the gym.

“Mine’s a bit more…complex,” Moonstar began. “I can sort of read other people’s minds and kind of create a projection. Like a hologram”.

“A projection of what?”

“Of what I can get from their minds. Like, what they’re thinking about at the time”.

“Wow, I bet the Professor’d be really interested in learning more about that,” Rogue commented. “Like, does the projection do anything? Is it just an image floatin’ in the air or can you control it? And does it have to be somethin’ the person’s thinking of at the time or can it be somethin’ from their past? Do you have any other telepathic abilities?”

Moonstar smiled and looked down. “Uh, Rogue…I honestly don’t know. When this first started happening, I thought I was going crazy. I didn’t know where to go or what to do. I’m from a reservation and my family was way poor. So all I learned was really how to shut my power off, like to contain it. I taught myself how to do that, and that’s it. I left the reservation and took a bus to New York, hoping to get some answers. But I don’t know much about my powers”.

“I know what that’s like, sugar,” Rogue said. “Powers can be scary stuff. But you’re in the right place to learn more about ‘em”.

“You are,” Gambit agreed. “Wanna?”

“Yes. I really do”.

“Let’s get you wit’ Xavier den. He is the expert in dis area and he can help”.

“That’s be great”.

Gambit decided he’d had enough serious talk for the day. He shifted the conversation. “So how long you two been toget’er?”

“About a year and a half,” Moonstar answered. She didn’t see Rogue’s questioning look in Gambit’s direction. “As soon as we met each other, we fell for each other”.

“You ain’t alone, you know. Bobby’s gay too. His boyfriend, Northstar’s, on a mission on earth. He misses him”.

“Which one’s Bobby again? The young guy with the light brown hair? The one who was just in here now?”

“Dat’s the one”.

After making plans to see Marrow in the Danger Room soon and to get Moonstar some time with Xavier, Rogue and Gambit left the gym. As they walked down the hall, Rogue asked, “So they’re like…lesbians. How did you know?”

“Saw ‘em holdin’ hands dat one night on Haven. And dey jus’ told us dat dey pushed the beds together in deir room”.

Rogue looked towards the ground. “I heard that Mystique had a…a lesbian lover once. But that was after I’d left her group. She had lots of male lovers too, though, in her day”.

“You missin’ her?” Gambit asked gently.

“No. No, I ain’t”. She didn’t want to add anything else to that, didn’t want Gambit to again ask her if she was a homophobe. Rogue vividly remembered how uncomfortable she had felt when she had learned about Mystique and Destiny’s relationship, years ago.


***

Storm approached the Professor after lunch on the third day of the voyage to earth. Most of the rest of the team had finished eating and left the mess hall.

“I was wondering, Professor, if you had any luck reaching Moira,” Storm began gently. “I know that she is obviously still traumatized, but at some point we need to find out what FOH learned of Banshee and Siryn’s powers. It may hold an answer as to how they overpowered us back at the mansion”.

The Professor nodded. He glanced at his bowl which still contained a fair amount of stew. Hank had asked him yesterday “ “out of medical concern” “ to please ensure that he ate enough. Charles had not had much of an appetite lately. He ran his spoon through the lukewarm stew as he replied to Storm.

“I agree that we need to find out how much FOH learned from Banshee and Siryn, but I want to be careful when I broach the subject. Obviously the subject of their imprisonment is a very traumatic one for them. Siryn is not speaking with anyone “ not even Moira - these days”. He paused and added, “Besides, I’m not sure how much we would learn from them. FOH obviously found some way to replicate their powers. Hank began some research into techniques that might defeat Banshee”.

Wolverine strode up to where the Professor sat next to Storm. He put an arm around Storm’s shoulders.

“You eatin’ enough, Professor?” he asked.

“I appreciate your concern. I am fine,” Xavier answered.

Storm touched one of her hands to the Professor’s. “I can only imagine how difficult this is for you,” she said quietly. “We know that Moira and her family mean a lot to you. And we also know that…with you being our teacher, it may be hard for you to feel that you have a peer here to confide in. But we offer ““

“Thank you, Storm,” Xavier cut in. “I know that you “ all of you “ care about me. I assure you that I am well. Being with the X-men, returning to earth, seeing all of you trained and ready “ all of those things help sustain me. I look forward to working with Moonstar on her powers too. But most of all, I thank you for your leadership of the team”.

Storm and Wolverine both thanked the Professor and took their leave of him; it was obvious that he appreciated their concern but that was all. As they walked down the corridor, they talked.

“Least we tried,” Wolverine said. “I think he’ll be okay. Ain’t gonna be great but he’ll hang in there”.

“I know. Still, I would like to see him doing more than merely ‘hanging in there’”.

“Yeah, me too, but ain’t no miracles happenin’ here. Xavier’s right about one thing “ thanking you for your leadership. Cyke’s more on edge than I’ve ever seen him. Thank god we got you”.

“It is understandable that Scott is hurting right now. I have every confidence in him as our co-leader”.

Logan remained silent for a moment. Did Ororo always need to sound so professional and so restrained? It wasn’t as if he had wanted a Cyclops-bashing session “ he had long since moved from disliking the leader to respecting him. But he thought that perhaps he liked Ororo best when he got to see the real Ororo, raw and unrestrained.

`Wish I saw that more often,’ he thought to himself, and realized that his wish was more likely to remain unfulfilled.

***

Later that afternoon, Wolverine and Colossus ended up in the same Danger Room session. The Russian had been weakened by an earlier skirmish. When the computer matched Colossus and Wolverine up for a fight, Wolverine’s teeth were barred. The Canadian fought as if his own life were at stake. Colossus hadn’t even had time to change into his metallic form before Wolverine overpowered him, roughly pushing him to the ground.

“Stop, comrade, stop “ you win!” Colossus bellowed.

“Yeah. I win,” Wolverine said, as he slowly got off of Colossus.

Forge had been in the Danger Room with them. “You’re injured,” he said, looking at Colossus. “You might want to ask Hank to meet you in sickbay. You should get that arm bandaged up”.

“Yes,” Colossus said. He watched Forge leave the room. The Russian was normally pleasant and even-tempered, but he couldn’t ignore this incident.

“You use a lot more force than you need on me today,” he began. “You angry at me?”

Wolverine glared at him. “Ain’t mad at you,” he muttered, though he gave Colossus a look that could kill.

“Yes you are. I not blind. You act this way with me for days now”.

Wolverine looked at the ground. He had not been consciously aware that he had been treating Peter any differently. The last few days had been full of activity, with Magneto’s arrival and the departure from Haven. Interpersonal relationship had not been at the forefront of Wolverine’s mind, though he began to realize that they had been at the back of it.

“Is about Jubilee?” Colossus asked. “She the one who come to me. And I act like “ how you say? -- perfect gentleman with her”.

“Really?” Logan asked, taking a step towards Peter. “Is that why you use her, bub? ‘Cause if you really cared you’d…” Logan’s voice broke off as he realized that he didn’t have the words to say exactly what he intended to say.

“I would do what? Jubilee come to me and say she want this arrangement. Me, I prefer be her boyfriend not her…whatever you call it. I rather have *real* relationship, but she one who want this ‘friend with benefit’, as she call it. Not my idea “ it *her* idea”.

“Can’t believe this was her idea,” Wolverine grumbled, though as he said the words, he knew that he could believe it.

“You don’t believe me, ask Jubilee”. Colossus turned towards the door. “And do not do this again to me”.

***

Colossus walked down the corridor after his confrontation with Wolverine. Confronting the Canadian had not been easy, not even for the man of steel, and he was glad it was over and that his point had been made. Colossus continued to walk, unsure of where to go. Part of him wanted company and thought the rec room might be a good place to visit, but part of him wanted solitude and to resume working on either his latest drawings and painting.

His words to Wolverine had been honest. His relationship with Jubilee was not structured in a way he found ideal. He had only consented to the arrangement because he thought it would be better than having no woman in his life at all. Although one of Colossus’ needs was being fulfilled, he longed for something more substantial. It was hard to not envy the couples on board Victory who were happy together, who came together to do more than fulfill a physical need. He was used to keeping his emotions inside of him, though, so he had no plans to share his angst with anyone.

Colossus’ desire for sex had been strong enough that he’d had to, at first, overcome his perception of Jubilee as a younger sister. He had forced himself to think of her as simply a woman. He had no trouble with that perception now, but he still felt that their situation was not what he hoped for with a woman. He couldn’t confide in Jubilee . She had a passing interest in his paintings and in hearing about his life back in Russia, but she didn’t feign that she had a deeper interest. Most of the time, the two didn’t have a whole lot to say to each other. As far as he could tell he was satisfying her in bed though he didn’t know for sure. He hoped he was.

An idea popped into his head. He picked up his communicator and asked Hank if he wanted company. With Hank fluent in Russian, Colossus could get a taste of home. He could also show Hank his latest sketching and know that Hank would be sincerely interested in them.


***

Look, there wasn’t a lot to do during the trip back to earth. Sitting on the bridge, training in the Danger Room, hanging in the rec room, eating meals together, and hoping Cyke or the Professor would be in a decent mood were all we had to occupy our days. So you’d just have to forgive us for speculating on the sex lives of the other X-men. There was nothing else to do.

I sat in sick bay as I watched Hank “calibrate the tricorders” or something like that. I’d asked if he wanted my help but he’d said no, so I just chatted with him as he worked. He told me that it was a welcome break from researching Banshee and Siryn’s powers.

“It looks like both Forge and Cannonball have made several trips over to ‘visit’ Emma,” I said. “She sure didn’t waste any time on that. Too bad she wasn’t with us on Haven during all the months we were there. She would’ve been popular. And it’s really too bad Angel’s not here “ he would’ve been the first one on the shuttle. He’ll actually be pissed when he finds out what he missed”. I stopped. “Sorry. You hate gossiping about other people’s sex lives, don’t you?”

“I do not hate it,” Hank replied. “Though I cannot say that I find it of the utmost interest either”.

“Thanks for indulging me”. And then I had to get at the question I’d been wondering about, as inappropriate as it may have been. “So, does Emma just not interest you? I mean, you must’ve rejected her offer,” I spoke the last line as somewhere between a question and a statement.

“There was no offer, Bobby. She never contacted me”.

“Oh. Maybe she’s just real busy with Sam and Forge and she just doesn’t have time for lover number three,” I managed.

“Perhaps she does not find me attractive,” he stated simply.

“Do you find her attractive?”

“Physically, of course “ I believe most heterosexual men would find her so. Emotionally, no, I am not interested in her or her personality. I cannot forget what the Hellfire Club did to us X-men. Perhaps for Forge and Cannonball it is different, as they were not with us when it happened. Or perhaps their desire for sexual relations with Emma has outweighed their better judgment”.

“So if Emma invited you over, you’d say no”.

“There is no use speculating on it, Bobby. She will not be issuing an invitation to me. I understand that my appearance is uninviting to many and I am at peace with that fact”.

I sat there with a heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach. Or a bit of a nervous feeling, like you might get if you had an inkling that you did something wrong, pushed something too far. My head started to hurt and I started feeling that I not been acting the way that a good friend should.

“I’m sorry, Hank. I guess I let my curiosity on the whole thing get the best of me. I didn’t mean to…I don’t know, rub it in. Maybe some people find the way you look ‘uninviting’ like you said, but I have to believe that there are plenty out there who do find you physically attractive. And besides, what’s on the inside is more important anyway”.

“It is not a crime to be curious, and there is no need for you to apologize. Truly, I am very well aware of the adage that the inside is more important than the external trappings”. He took a breath and added, “No one understands it better than I”.

I looked at Hank and wondered if he was feeling pain over this. I tried to make light of it. “Emma hasn’t invited me over either, so maybe she doesn’t think I’m all that hot”.

Hank had his usual non-judgmental look on his face, and then turned back to his tricorders. My gossiping that day hadn’t gone all that well.

***

Jubilee pulled up the bridge duty schedule. According to it, Wolverine should be in the middle of his shift. He had not been lucky; this shift would span much of the night, according to the time they kept on the ship. Still fully dressed, Jubilee had declined Colossus’s offer to spend the night with him. She took a breath and made her way down the corridor, towards the bridge.

When the doors slid open, Jubilee’s first instinct was to gasp. Storm was sitting on the bridge with Wolverine, and for a split second Jubilee feared that she might have interrupted something. But she soon realized that the two were fully clothed. They appeared to be simply sitting together, looking out the large picture window at the stars. Storm was apparently keeping Wolverine company.

“Hi, guys. Hope I’m not interrupting anything,” Jubilee began. She was biting her tongue. She wanted to stride up to Wolverine and give him a piece of her mind, but somehow just *looking* at Storm made her want to take a calm and polite approach instead. And she did remind herself that she wanted to be treated as an adult; maybe a more restrained approach would remind them that she was no longer a child.

“Not at all,” Storm said. “Please come in”.

Storm’s calm manner deflated some of the anger and confidence Jubilee had been feeling, though she couldn’t say how or why that happened. She suddenly felt very awkward. Jubilee began to wonder if she should try to make small talk or somehow ease into what she wanted to discuss, but she was depleted of ideas in that area as well.

“I, uh, I noticed that it seems you’ve been pissed at Peter lately,” she said, looking at Wolverine. “I was just wondering why and if it had anything to do with me”.

Wolverine crossed his arms over his chest. He finally asked, “He treatin’ you okay?”

“Yes,” Jubilee insisted. “I mean, I think it’s really cool that you’re concerned about me and all, but Peter’s treating me fine. He hasn’t done anything wrong. I um…I realized that I like don’t wanna be someone’s girlfriend, that I kind of like being single now. So what Peter and I have going on now works for me. It was all my idea anyway”.

“Well, darlin’, if it works for you, then that’s fine with me”.

Jubilee wanted to retort that it did not *look* fine to her, that he still seemed angry about something. Well, when was Logan ever not upset over something, Jubilee asked herself. But she couldn’t say those words to him.

“Good. So I hope that means you won’t bother him or be mean to him or anything like that. ‘Cause there’s no reason to”.

After a few moments, Wolverine said, “You got it,” though he didn’t sound particularly happy.

“Thank you”. Feeling more at ease, Jubilee asked a question about the ship’s heading and its speed in comparison to The Prevail’s. She talked with the couple for a bit and then felt a yawn overtake her due to the late hour. She said, “I just wanted to make sure we’re all on the same page…thank you,” before returning to her room.

Alone on the bridge now, Storm and Wolverine looked at each other. Storm opened her mouth to speak, but Wolverine said, “Don’t want to discuss it anymore now”.

Storm forced herself to take a moment before responding. “That is your right. I just hope that you sincerely meant it when you said that you agreed to not bother Colossus”.

“I don’t ever go back on my word”.

Storm nodded. After more silence, she then began again, “After all, Jubilee is an adult now”.

“Said I don’t wanna discuss it”.

She bit her lip. Ororo knew that Logan was generally not verbose but did he have to sound so brusque with her? As much as Ororo disliked comparing her relationship to others, she couldn’t ignore a silent voice that wondered, ‘Would Cyclops ever speak to Jean that way?’

Logan looked at Ororo and stepped closer to her. “Hey,” he said softly. “Thanks for keepin’ me company here”. He put an arm around her.

Ororo wondered if she was weak. If all it took were a more gentle tone and a touch from Logan to soften her disposition, was that not a sign that she had taken her guard down far too much? If matters of the heart were this complicated, Ororo would see why she had remained single for so long. She could see why some, like Jubilee, chose to remain unattached.

She touched a hand to Logan’s face, feeling the rough hairs on his cheek. It was true, Ororo admitted to herself. He made part of her just melt. “My pleasure, Logan,” she said softly. “I would like to stay a bit longer too. Would you like some coffee?”

“Not unless you’re gettin’ somethin’ for yourself”.

“I was going to get some tea. I’ll bring you something as well”.

“Thanks, Ro”.

***

Cyclops was not in a good mood. That was pretty clear to all of us. I’d known the guy for years, and over the years, I’d seen him be strict, stern, and a stickler for rules. But I’d also seen him learn to relax a bit, learn to trust the rest of the team, and have fun. The last several years, he’d been way better on those fronts.

Believe it or not, I liked Cyclops. I always had. I thought that by any standard, he’d been a great leader and co-leader over the years. He really cared about people “ he cared about the team and he always wanted to make the world a better place for mutants and non-mutants. And yeah, I’d always had the sense that he wasn’t all that comfortable with or fond of the idea of homosexuality in general, but he’d never once made a homophobic comment or done any homophobic actions that I was aware of. When Northstar was here, Cyclops treated me the same as he always had and he’d even said some good things about Northstar’s fighting ability. I came to think that if I’d been straight, my relationship with Cyclops would have been no better and no worse.

He was always way tough on me and my training, that’s for sure. I knew that I was never his favorite fighter. Since I’d resumed training, he had again been tough but fair. He has even given me a few compliments (though nowhere near as many as Storm and others have).

But with Jean gone, things were not good. I always felt that Jean had helped lighten him up and make him more easy-going. All of us had known, I guess, that things would be hard for Cyclops now that he was apart from his wife and son “ and were they ever.

I was in the Danger Room with Gambit, Cyclops, and a few others. It had been a typical session; no better or worse than usual. My aim was okay, I’d been nervous during it, and everyone had trained pretty much as they usually had. As the group was filing out of the room though, my ears perked when I heard Cyclops say to Gambit, “May I have a word with you?” It was clearly a command and not a request.

I heard Gambit reply in his usual easy-going manner that they could talk anytime, and then I heard Cyclops lay into him.

“You’re not trying hard enough!” Cyclops yelled. “You’re putting in a half-assed effort and we’ve got the fight of our lives coming up in five weeks! I can’t have you slacking off like this! Next time try harder or don’t even bother”.

I couldn’t listen anymore “ partly because it was painful and partly because I’d gathered up all my stuff and had no reason left to be in there. But I waited in the hallway for Gambit. If he didn’t want to talk, I’d leave him alone but I thought I could at least ask.

Gambit’s eyes were glowing and fists clenched. “Are you okay?” I asked.

Gambit shook his head. “Oh, Bobby. It take all of Remy’s willpower to not beat dat Cyke to a pulp! Every last bit o’ willpower. Storm would be proud of me, at leas’”.

“How bad was it?”

“You heard mos’ of it. You leave, he just repeat himself and add in dat I ain’t trainin’ Marrow and Moonstar hard enough. Yeah, well Xavier’s the one who be trainin’ Moonstar “ I ain’t no telepath!”

I shook my head. “You know what he said is bull though, right? I mean, it seems to me that you’re training plenty hard”.

“Remy know it. An’ I know dat Cyke sufferin’ ‘cause Jean ain’t here. Dat be the only reason I don’t punch him in the face. He’s actin’ like an asshole but Remy feel bad for him too”.

I wanted to say that Gambit did seem remarkably calm and he sure deserved some props for that. But I couldn’t think of a good way to say it. So I just asked, “What are you going to do?”

“I t’ink I mention dis to Storm. And maybe Xavier. Maybe I ask dem how dey t’ink my training’s goin’” He sighed, “And I gotta act like dis don’t bot’er me or Rogue gonna knock out Cyke. Dat won’t be good”.

“I hadn’t thought of that. She’s gonna be pissed and she doesn’t have as much restraint as you do”.

He smiled, “She let t’ings bot’er her a lot more den I do. She gonna be madder ‘bout dis den I am”.

I returned Gambit’s smile. I thought it was neat how the members of the couple were different from each other in many ways but they just seemed to jell. It was like their differences complemented each other’s well.

***

A day or so later, I was on the bridge. Bridge duty had quickly become routine and not nerve-wracking for me. It really wasn’t that hard, it wasn’t scary like combat, and the biggest challenge was boredom. I checked the ship’s logs and there wasn’t much activity. A few subspace messages between Victory and The Prevail. I assumed most of them had to do with transporting men to and from Emma. I was sure the Professor must have reached out to Moira a few times but then remembered that those would likely have been telepathic communications.

I played my computer games, kept one eye on the important sensors at all times, daydreamed, and waited for my shift to end. At long last, the doors slid open and Jubilee, my relief, entered the bridge.

“Thank god,” I said. “Bridge duty is over”.

“Yeah, yeah, quit gloating,” she said. “Mine’s just beginning. Is there anything in the world “ or the galaxy “ more boring?”

“Not that I know of,” I said. “You want me to bring you anything?”

“No, I’ll be fine,” she said, plopping down into the captain’s chair. “Besides, Colossus will pop his head in here at least twice asking me if I need anything”.

“That’s sweet of him,” I offered.

“Yeah, yeah”.

“You sound quite unimpressed,” I observed.

Jubilee shrugged. I thought for a moment that she was going to blow off the subject, but she motioned for me to step closer even though we were alone on the bridge.

“I miss Sam,” she confided. “I don’t want to be Sam’s girlfriend “ I’m cool with the decision I made to end that. But I gotta say he was better in bed than Peter”.

“Really?” I asked, leaning in closer. I know, it’s terrible but I love this sort of gossip. “In what way?”

“I dunno. Peter’s technique isn’t very good”.

I thought for a moment. “That can be improved though,” I said. “You can try to teach him”.

“I’ve said a few things. I don’t wanna hurt his feelings though. He is really sweet”.

“There’s probably ways you can do it without hurting his feelings though. I mean, sheesh, Jubes, you gotta speak up about something like that if you’re not enjoying it”.

“I’ve tried to kinda be subtle in what I said but I’m starting to think that maybe it was so subtle that he didn’t get the hint. The other thing is that Peter’s…kinda, um, big. I mean he’s big all over but he’s big there too”.

“Oh”. I took a breath. “Yeah, that can be tough. It’s actually not all that much fun when the guy trying to get inside you is huge. You can’t do much about that though. But maybe some positions would be easier than others”.

Jubilee nodded. “Bummer that Sam’s not interested anymore, and now that Emma’s offering unlimited shuttle rides to guys she wants to do it with, Sam’s not gonna come back to my bed”.

“I don’t get that. I mean, if he’s pissed that you’re sleeping with Peter, then shouldn’t he also be pissed that Emma’s sleeping with Forge?”

Jubilee shrugged. “I think I hurt his feelings. Didn’t mean to but that’s how he took it when I said I didn’t want to be his girlfriend anymore. And as for Emma, well, I guess people just expect her to be sleeping around so maybe from her it’s viewed as okay. Sam’s old-fashioned in some ways, and it bugs me that he feels that way about this whole thing. But I don’t let it make me mad anymore”. She paused. “And besides, Emma’s prettier than me. Probably better in bed too and she’s obviously had way more experience than me, so maybe that’s why Sam doesn’t mind that she’s also sleeping with other guys”.

“You don’t need to compare your looks against Emma’s. I think you’re beautiful, Jubilee”.

She laughed. “Coming from a gay guy, that means a lot,” she joked. She then got serious for a second and said, “I didn’t realize the two new girls we took on board were gay too”.

“I know”. Marrow and Moonstar always sat together at mealtimes. At a recent dinner, Storm had asked them something about how they had met and their answer had made it clear to anyone who hadn’t known that they were a couple. “I go for years not meeting another gay mutant, and now I meet three in the span of a few months”. I got choked up for a second thinking about Jean Paul. I missed him so much.

And then I clammed up, not wanting Jubilee to see me all emotional. She put an arm around me and murmured, “Don’t worry. We’ll meet back up with them soon. It can’t be long now”.

***

Gambit was starting to actively dislike the Danger Room. He walked into it and saw Wolverine training Marrow in hand-to-hand combat. He stood to the side and observed them. When they appeared to be finishing up, Gambit offered his thoughts. “Not bad, Marrow. You doin’ better at anticipating what your opponents gonna do”.

“Thanks,” Marrow managed. She was sweating profusely.

“Your stamina’s still gotta improve though,” Wolverine added. “Try hittin’ those cardio machines in the gym or runnin’ around the track more”.

Marrow nodded. She was too winded to give any sort of lengthy reply.

“But you did good. I’ll show you some more moves tomorrow,” Wolverine promised.

‘Gimme a minute to catch my breath,” Marrow began. “Can we give it one more try today?”

“Sure”.

Gambit stood by, wondering if this was worth an altercation with Wolverine. He thought that training Marrow and Moonstar was a responsibility given to him and Rogue, not to Wolverine.

`Oh well,’ Remy told himself. `No point in gettin territorial ‘bout it’. He reasoned with himself that the more trainers the new duo had, the better. Everyone’s fighting style was a bit different. And Marrow really wasn’t the most pleasant person to be around anyway, so if Wolverine wanted to spend more time with her, let him knock himself out.

Gambit knew that there wasn’t a lot he could do to enhance Moonstar’s training though “ she spent time with Xavier every day now. But he still hoped to help acclimate Moonstar to the X-men. Unlike her girlfriend, Moonstar seemed eager to learn more about the X-men and what they stood for. At dinner yesterday, she listened raptly as Storm and Hank described various missions and battles they had experienced over the years.

As he headed towards the Danger Room’s exit, Gambit nearly collided with Jubilee. “Whoa, ‘scuse me ‘petite,” he said.

“Oh, sorry,” Jubilee said. “Not watching where I’m going. Is Wolvie in there?”

“Yeah. You lookin’ for him?”

“Sorta,” Jubilee replied.

Gambit stood by as Jubilee walked through the Danger Room. He watched the young woman out of the corner of his eye as she got ready for training. He noted that Jubilee watched Wolverine and Marrow closely.

Gambit decided that he was finished with the Danger Room for the day. He walked down the corridors towards the bridge. When he looked at a clock on the way, he saw that Rogue still had over an hour left for her bridge shift, and he decided to join her.

“Thanks, sugar,” Rogue smiled when she saw her lover. “Been like watchin’ the grass grow. It’s nice to have some company”.

“My pleasure, chere,” Gambit responded. He glanced at Rogue’s wrists, which were now usually the first place his eyes settled upon. She wasn’t wearing her bracelet, so a kiss on the mouth would not be an option. He settled for a demure kiss on her gloved hands, which reminded him of the past, when this was one of the only ways they could touch.

“How was trainin’ today?” Rogue asked as Gambit sat down next to her

He told her. He then added, “I almos’ wonder ‘bout the look on Jubilee’s face when I leave dere. Almos’ like she’s jealous to see Wolverine trainin’ another young girl”.

“You think?” Rogue asked.

“He an’ Jubes used to work toget’er closely. She’s good in the Danger Room. Has been for years. She don’t really need his help dat much no more”.

“It is always hard to think of Jubilee as havin’ grown up, but she did”.

There was silence on the bridge for several moments before Rogue asked, “So, you ain’t gotten any invitations from Ms Frost, have you, Swamp Rat?”

Gambit wondered where this question had come from. The discussion of Jubilee’s possible jealousy? Or the fact that Emma and her invitations *were* frequent subjects of discussion on Victory, usually conducted when Cannonball and Forge were not around.

“No, chere. You don’t gotta worry ‘bout dat if I do. You know I gonna say no if she ever ask”. He paused and asked, “’Sides, why be jealous? Dere way more men den women here “ if anyone’s gonna get reason to be jealous, you’d t’ink it’d be me”.

Rogue looked at her gloves and tugged on the ends. “Yeah, I guess. But you see, Remy, I don’t *want* anyone but you. Compared to you, all the other guys look like hogslop. Ain’t a one of them I find attractive, not next to you”.

“Really? Remy be very flattered, chere”.

“But that’s the problem. You don’t feel the same way. You find other women darn right gorgeous”.

Gambit wondered what mood Rogue was in and how he could get out of this one without telling a lie. Of course Gambit found other women attractive. He found most women attractive, he loved sex, it was just the way he was and the way he would always be. Sometimes intense emotions scared Rogue, and maybe the intensity was causing her to experience a bout of insecurity “ at least that was what the Cajun speculated. He finally began, “Chere, I love you and only you. I’d never do nothin’ to hurt you “ ‘cause I love you and ‘cause you’d break all my arms and legs and every bone in my body if I ever did!”

That provoked the desired response. Rogue chuckled a bit. “So I guess I don’t gotta worry”.

“I promise dat you don’t. And Remy again be very flattered dat you find him so attractive. I t’ink you the mos’ beautiful woman I ever seen”.

“Oh, Swamp Rat, you’re makin’ me wish I’d brought my bracelet so I could kiss you,” Rogue smiled.

“Dat is too bad. We can wait till later. Or I can make a trip to our room”.

Rogue looked at the monitors and sensors in front of her eyes. “Maybe we oughtta wait. I don’t have too much time left on this darn shift. My tummy’s rumblin’ too “ can’t wait for dinner”.

“Same here. Bobby did a good job on dat sweet potato pie recipe. Tastes a lot better now”.

“I agree”. Rogue paused and then asked, “So how you think Moonstar and Marrow are likin’ what they hear about the X-men? I was thinkin’ about when Storm and Hank were talkin’ about over dinner yesterday, and the look on Moonstar’s face”.

“I was jus’ t’inkin’ ‘bout dat,” Gambit admitted. “Moonstar look like she really into it. Like in her eyes she missin’ somet’in’ “ somethin’ dat we got”.

“Really? But I get the idea that girl hates battles”.

“I don’t t’ink it was combat she longin’ for. T’ink it was community”.

“Oh,” Rogue digested that information. “She does miss her home, she told us”. Rogue thought about the community aspect of X-men. As much as some of her teammates irritated her at times, she cherished the X-men and the bonds they had together. She knew that Gambit felt the same way.

“Yeah. Hope we can give her what she missin’. An’ dat her powers can help us”.



TO BE CONTINUED

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