At the conclusion of the X-men meeting, Storm and Cyclops walked to the bridge together. They were alone, as it was his own bridge duty shift, and they sat side-by-side in the captain and first officer’s chairs. One more piece of business remained to be discussed.
“I just don’t see it, Storm,” Cyclops said. “I meant what I said at the meeting “ Bobby did perform well when he got free and we do owe our escape to him. He might very well have gotten paralyzed with fear and missed the chance, but he didn’t “ and I give him a lot of credit for that.”
“But…” Storm prompted, knowing what was coming.
“But he’s said so many times in the past that he doesn’t want to train and doesn’t want to be a fighter. Honestly, Storm, I don’t even *know* how many times the Professor or you or I asked that over the years. He always said no”.
“That may be true,” Storm allowed, “though it has been quite a while since the last time we asked. Perhaps the events that occurred at the FOH compound might have changed his perspective a bit”.
Cyclops shrugged. “We can ask. But I do think there’s a point where you can’t force someone to be something that they don’t want to be”.
Storm touched her chin. “I wonder if maybe we never dug deeper on this, on his refusal to fight. It’s possible that he simply doesn’t like combat, but I wonder if there might be more to it than that. Self-esteem issues or confidence issues”.
“We did dig deeper, Storm. When he…came out “ I guess that’s the term I’m supposed to use --, the Professor arranged for him to talk to a therapist to have someone to sort things out with. He’s had counseling”. Cyclops took a breath. “And besides. I led some of those early missions he was on, back when he fought with the team. He was impulsive, he was never prepared, and he didn’t follow orders well”. Any time those memories came up, Cyclops couldn’t help but to feel anger at an X-man’s incompetence. It reflected poorly on the rest of their team but especially on their leader.
Storm tilted her head and noticed that Cyclops had grit his teeth. “How old was he at that time? Twenty? Twenty-one? At that age, people aren’t always known for following orders or for taking the time they should to prepare. I ““
Cyclops cut in, “Jubilee and Shadowcat “ may she rest in peace “ had no trouble doing so at that age. Storm, we were better off without him on missions”.
Storm continued speaking, “I haven’t been with the team as long as you, but I have seen Bobby mature over the years. I think he can train with us again. And I think he can learn ship functions and serve on bridge duty like everyone else”.
Cyclops nodded. “Well, Storm…I still don’t think this is the best idea, but if you want to, why don’t you go ahead and ask him to consider training with us again? I won’t try to stop you from asking”.
“I think it would sound best coming from both of us. I think perhaps that he wants to know that all of us want him back”.
During his years as leader and co-leader of the X-men, Cyclops had learned the adage ‘Pick your battles’. He surrendered on this one.
“Alright. I don’t fully agree, but like I said, we can ask him”. Scott then smiled. “Though if we were back on earth and had money, I would bet you a year of my stipend that his answer will be no”.
“We could always bet one bridge duty shift,” Storm suggested, with a slight smile.
“You’re on”.
“I suggest that we wait a few days, until his injuries are more healed up. He might be more receptive to our idea then,” Storm concluded.
***
One night, I woke up shivering and terrified from a nightmare. In the dream, I was back with the FOH soldiers and they were beating me to a pulp and threatening to suffocate me. I broke free from them and ran but no matter how fast I ran, I couldn’t find the other X-men and the soldiers kept gaining on me. I kept getting frustrated that I couldn’t locate the X-men and felt scared to death that the soldiers would catch up with me.
I woke up at last, thank goodness. The sheets were covered with sweat. I badly needed someone to throw my arms around, someone to hold me and tell me that everything would be alright. But I didn’t want to bother Hank given how busy he was, and it wasn’t like I was a teenager anymore. I didn’t want anyone to see me this weak. So I turned the light on and sat up in bed, with my arms wrapped around myself.
***
Rogue and Gambit were feeling much more like themselves now. As most of the X-men, they had been hungry and exhausted after the ordeal in the FOH cell and then the chaos of getting Victory up and running. Before the meeting, they had gotten just enough sleep and food to feel back to their prime.
They now sat together at the computer on the bridge. It was Rogue’s bridge duty shift, and both she and her lover had learned quickly how to monitor the surrounding areas of space and keep an eye on the ship’s major functions. The FOH vessel was not difficult to master; it had been designed to be as ‘user friendly’ as possible. Rogue pressed a few more buttons on the computer, while periodically checking a few other screens to ensure everything was in order.
“That’s it,” Rogue muttered. “Looked at every damn inventory list on board this ship and there ain’t one lousy collar on it”.
During the heat of battle when the X-men escaped from their captors, neither Rogue nor Gambit had retained their collar. The devices had felt so evil during their imprisonment and had been used to bring so much pain to all the X-men that neither had mulled over the decision to discard them. The immediacy of the fight for freedom had trumped anything else.
“I ‘tink Forge or Beast can replicate the materials dey need to make one,” Gambit said. “Almos’ sure dey can”.
Rogue looked down for a second. “I feel almost funny askin’ ‘em for it. They’ve got so much goin’ on with the Danger Room and lookin’ after Xavier”.
“Xavier’s condition ain’t changed since the surgery so I don’t t’ink they doin’ much wit’ him right now other den monitorin’ him”. The X-men all took time to visit the Professor and talk to him even though he was in a coma, in the hopes that it would help pull him out of it.
“And hell, dey’ll probably have the Danger Room up in no time,” he continued. “Ain’t no shame in askin’ for deir help on dis, chere.” He placed a hand on her shoulder. “Everyone got a right to be touched”.
“I know,” Rogue said softly. “And Remy, I tell you that I can’t wait to touch you again “ kept worryin’ when we slept that I’d accidentally touch you even though the only part of my body not covered was my face”.
“But somet’in’ makin’ you hesitate”.
Rogue smiled and shook her head. “Damn, Remy, you’re always so perceptive!”
“No I ain’t,” he chuckled. “Jus’ dat you can’t hide your feelin’s even if you wanted to!”
Rogue smiled along with him, and she took a moment to sober up before she replied. “Well, Remy, I do feel kinda bad for them. I gotta go ask Forge and Hank to help with this so that I can…touch you, and meantime they don’t have anyone. No one to touch”.
Gambit took in her words. This was a new one for him. It hadn’t occurred to him that Rogue might feel sympathy for some of the other X-men this way. He himself was certainly thankful that he was one of the only men on the team to have a love interest also in the X-men; he was proud, in some way, of that fact. He just hadn’t thought of feeling sympathy for the others’ single states.
“Well, chere, ain’t much you can do ‘bout dat. ‘Sides, maybe dey used to it. Hank’s been single a long time. Forge too,” he added, though he knew Forge had long had his eye on Storm.
“I just feel bad for them. Everyone wants to be touched, everyone wants to be loved. Can anyone get used to not havin’ it? I never did, in all the years from when I first kissed Cody to when I asked Hank for that collar”.
Gambit nodded in acknowledgement of her words, which certainly made sense but which he could do nothing to help with.
“Well, is your decision, chere. I do hope date you ask dem to make you a collar soon”.
“Oh, I will, Remy, I will. I’ll just feel bad about it”. She paused and added, “And I gotta hope that puttin’ the damn thing on don’t bring back bad memories from when we were in FOH’s prison”.
He placed an arm around her and asked gently, “Do you wanna talk ‘bout dat? Bout what they said dey were gonna do to…us?”
“Don’t ever even wanna think about it”. Rogue then laughed and added, “Damn, Remy, don’t you wish you had a normal girlfriend instead of one with all these issues??”
“Nah, where’d the fun be in dat??”
***
The meeting room adjacent to the bridge contained many large windows. Storm stood alone in the room, staring out the window. Over the ever-present hum of Victory’s engines, she heard the door open behind her though she didn’t turn around. She knew who had entered the room by the sounds of his footsteps.
“It’s awe-inspiring, isn’t it?” she mused. “The vastness of space, the bright stars surrounding us. To think that we’re sailing right through it all”.
“Kinda makes you feel small,” Wolverine said.
“In a way,” Storm turned towards him. She didn’t want to admit to him that she rarely felt small, actually. Although she knew that in space her powers wouldn’t be of much use, she still intuited that she was such a powerful being that space’s enormity didn’t make her feel the least belittled.
“I, uh, I hear Forge and Beast are makin’ good progress on the Danger Room”.
Storm nodded. “We will all be glad when it’s finished. Though I’ve enjoyed the training we’ve been doing”. Without the benefit of holographically-created villains, the X-men had been training by hand-to-hand combat with each other, sometimes using their powers and sometimes not. “There’s a lot to be learned from an old-fashioned fight”.
“Couldn’t have said it better myself”.
After a pause, both Storm and Wolverine attempted to say something at the same time. Wolverine insisted that Storm speak first, after they stumbled around a bit.
“I was going to ask if you had visited the Professor lately,” Storm finally said.
“Yeah, I was there this mornin’. Poor guy. No change to his condition”.
“I know. I suppose we should be thankful that he was the only one injured in the battle”.
“What were you gonna say?” Wolverine asked.
“I was just wondering about the place we’re heading towards. We’re too far away for our sensors to detect anything. I was wondering if it’s a planet or a moon or another vessel like this one”.
“Guess we won’t know ‘till we’re a lot closer. I gotta crazy dream that it’s someplace gorgeous, someplace we can get out and explore. I like Victory enough but I about had enough of metallic walls and sterile corridors”.
Storm nodded and stepped closer to Wolverine. “Me too,” she said. “I really enjoy the outdoors”.
“I know,” he smiled. “I like it a lot”.
“Of course there is a certain allure to our surroundings now. We’re cloaked and hidden. We can get away quickly if someone attacks us. A bit of stealth feels comforting now”.
“Maybe, but I ain’t ever gonna find it as comforting as a bit of green under my feet”. He added, “I don’t have my hopes up too much about this place, though, since we don’t know what it is”.
Storm’s mind was spinning. She wanted to tell Logan that back at the mansion, she had contemplated inviting him camping since they shared a love for the outdoors. But would saying those words be a clear admission that she had intentions that went beyond friendship? Storm then wondered why he wasn’t making more of a move. ‘Am I mis-reading his signals and he’s not interested in me?’ she speculated. Although Wolverine wouldn’t count Cyclops or Gambit as an enemy any longer, he didn’t have a lot of friends on the team either, as Storm knew. ‘Perhaps it is just friendship that he seeks from me,’ she thought. She then began to wonder if she was giving off the wrong signals. `I might appear too confident, as if I don’t have a need for a mate. And in truth, I do *not* need a man to be happy. However, at the same time I would like to see if a relationship with Logan could work’. She then thought to herself, ‘I don’t want to make the first move though “ not if I’m not fully sure that he has an interest beyond friendship’.
With these thoughts swirling around her mind, Storm wondered how her facial expressions must appear. She then mused that perhaps Logan felt awkward too, since his next question came out sounding that way.
“Your claustrophobia doesn’t…affect you on this ship, does it?”
“No, fortunately, it does not,” Storm smiled. “The ship is large enough that I don’t ever feel fenced in”. She then asked, “What about you…do you ever feel fenced in? I know that in the past you sometimes liked to get away from the rest of the team at times”.
He shrugged. “I’m an X-man. I’m stayin’ with this team. If I need time away from everyone, I can always come in here. It’s usually pretty quiet in this room”.
Storm agreed. They remained together silently watching the stars go by until the dinner bell rang.
***
I was sitting in sick bay, holding onto the Professor’s hand and just talking to him. Hank told us that those types of things might help. I was telling him how much he had helped me in my life. Meanwhile Hank was working nearby in the adjoining lab on creating a new inhibitor collar for Rogue, when an alarm sounded.
“Everyone report to the bridge immediately”, Nightcrawler’s heavily accented voice rang out over the intercom. Hank stepped out of the lab and looked at me. “This is not a drill”.
We bolted to the bridge. Within seconds, all of us were there.
“I don’t wish to alarm anyone,” Nightcrawler was saying when we got there. “But there is an FOH starship nearby”.
I gasped. It definitely was newsworthy; we’d been in space for almost seven days now and hadn’t encountered anything. Nothing. We had heard that FOH had several outposts in space, and the Professor had said that Magneto had fled to space -- but the truth is that space is really humungous and we hadn’t encountered any outposts or ships, or really anything other than some floating rocks and asteroids and maybe one barren moon.
“What’s its position?” Cyclops asked.
“Has it changed course?” Storm asked.
Well, our cloaking device was working because the FOH ship hadn’t changed position, wasn’t on any sort of intercept course, and gave no sign that it knew we were there.
“I don’t get it,” Angel said. “Isn’t it odd that they can’t detect one of their own ships? Not that I’m complaining”.
Forge shrugged. “We knew that’s how it could be. The whole reason why they developed cloaking devices was so that they would be able to move through space undetected. All of our tests indicated that they wouldn’t be able to detect us, so I’m not surprised that they are going on their way as if they haven’t noticed us”.
Nightcrawler punched some buttons on the computer and told us what he could about the other ship. It was comparable in size to ours and we guessed that they had a crew of about 60. But they were too far away for Jean to get into their minds and learn much more. Soon the other ship was out of sensor range again. I breathed a sigh of relief that we now had proof that the hallowed cloaking device actually worked!
***
So I’d had about a week on the ship at that point. My ribs were still healing, and as they started to get better I could join others in pool or play ping pong games in the rec room. I also looked forward to being able to work out again in the gym. I was able to start up again with light workouts. My normal kind of working out was not you’d associate with a superhero. I didn’t fight bad guys in the new Danger Room or use my powers; I just did cardio machines and weights…you know, the kind of working out you associate with wanting a good body in the unlikely event I’d ever get laid again (One star ship, 4 women, 10 straight guys, and me. Not good).
Other than those activities, I’d sit around and talk with those I was close to, play card games with others, I’d slowly linger over meals like everyone else did, occasionally read a book on the computer, play computer games, or sometimes watch a movie with the others in the rec room. Victory’s computer had a small supply of halfway decent movies and several really loathsome ones given what assholes FOH are. I asked Hank if he needed any help in the labs, like keeping track of supplies and stuff, but he said it was really a one-person job. My days seemed longer than everyone else’s because I didn’t have a five hour bridge duty shift and didn’t do the Danger Room or the hand-to-hand combat drills. Sometimes I’d hang with Hank or Jubilee or even Rogue and Gambit during their time on the bridge just to keep them company and because nothing ever happened on bridge duty. The sighting of the FOH ship during Nightcrawler’s shift that one time was about as thrilling as it got. I heard grumblings that we didn’t need to have one person sitting on the bridge at all times and that our leaders were being too cautious, but I think most of us thought it was better to be too cautious than not enough.
The other thing I spent my time doing was thinking up practical joke ideas. That had been my specialty but I was drawing blanks for ideas on this ship. The group seemed to be in such a serious mood “ after all, we had the Professor in a coma and we had nearly lost our lives “ that joke ideas either weren’t flowing for me or didn’t seem appropriate. I did a few of my infamous card tricks for the others, provoking eye-rolls and a few laughs. I thought of re-programming the bridge’s computer to make it look like an FOH fleet was approaching us but I knew that would get me absolutely no laughs and maybe get some people wishing I had another black eye. Some things you don’t joke about.
One day we were finishing up lunch. Food from the replicators tasted pretty good. It wasn’t great but it was way better than cafeteria food. The computers had a few menus already programmed into them but I’d learned that they weren’t hard at all to program and I put in a few dishes that hadn’t been there before. I’d looked up a Russian borcht dish for Colossus (the appeal of that dish really eludes me), some Southern and Cajun dishes for Rogue and Gambit (the fried catfish, greens, and sweet potato pie were my favorites), enchiladas and burritos (I was surprised the computers didn’t come with any Mexican dishes, but Jubilee especially loved that type of food), and an African peanut stew that Storm said was delicious. I knew that Cyclops had a thing for Reuben sandwiches and planned that for my next project.
So you see, the days were leisurely.
Anyway, after lunch, I noticed that the mess hall had emptied out and it was down to Storm, Cyclops, and me. I had been sitting on the other end of the rectangular table from them, and they got up and sat closer to me. They both said hellos to me and looked at me as I said hi back.
“I didn’t do it!” I joked. “I mean, I *thought* up lots of practical joke ideas, but I didn’t do them!”
“Are we *that* overbearing and strict that if you see us you assume you’re in trouble?” Cyke was trying to sound like he was joking back at me, but I could tell he was uncomfortable about something.
“Just giving you a hard time,” I smiled.
“How are your injuries healing up?” Storm asked.
“Well, my ribs are starting to feel better and Hank switched me to milder pain killers,” I answered seriously now. “I’ve gotten used to the tooth implant Hank put in. I still have a few aches and pains but I’m alright. I’m glad my face isn’t the black and blue swollen mess it was”. I did look a lot more like myself now.
“Hank once told me that even mutants without Wolverine’s healing powers do heal faster than regular humans,” Scott chimed in.
“I guess I should be glad for that”.
Storm then smiled, “You know, Bobby, people are still talking about how you rescued us at the FOH compound. You really did a fantastic job”.
“They’re still taking about it because there’s just not much else to talk about here,” I smiled back and then turned to Scott. “Other than people being excited about your and Jean’s baby. We have a long ways to wait but people do like to talk about how cool it’ll be to have a baby on the team. Do you have any names picked out?”
“Jean has a few ideas. Maybe once we have the ultrasound and find out if it’s a boy or girl, then I’ll start thinking about names more too”. He then paused and said, “But back to what Storm was saying. She and I are very impressed with what you did. You kept your cool and you fought well against the soldiers you encountered”. He leaned forward. “We’d like you to start training with the team again”.
“You have great powers, Bobby,” Storm said. “We don’t know what we’ll be facing in the coming months or years other than the fact that we need to deal with a very powerful FOH. We need you and want you to be training with us”.
I looked down at my hands. I had wondered if this might be coming. I had even thought they might ask me sooner after our escape from FOH.
I shook my head. “I used to do that, but you remember, Cyclops, I was never very good in battle. I made a lot of mistakes. And I get really scared. I don’t think I’m like the rest of you in that way”.
“We all get scared,” Cyclops said. “None of us is perfect”.
“And things are so much easier if you take them one step at a time,” Storm said. “We wouldn’t expect you to go into the Danger Room alone against Apocalypse. You start small and then you slowly build. When I started training, I found that approach helped me deal with my fears and improve my confidence”.
There was silence for a bit. My mouth felt dry. I then said, “Look, I’m not sure how to say this, so I’ll just…try to say it. I don’t think I’m made of the same material as the rest of you. I kinda think you’re either born to be a good fighter or not.” I shook my head. “It’s just not in me”.
They really looked disappointed. Well, Storm looked really disappointed “ it’s always hard to tell with Cyke what he’s thinking behind those glasses.
“I’m sorry,” I went on. “Is it required of me, that I train?”
“No,” Cyclops said. “We’re not going to throw you overboard if you don’t want to train”. He didn’t smile as he said those words. Which almost made me wonder if he’d considered tossing me ‘overboard’ at some point. I’m kidding, I knew he wouldn’t “ though you have to wonder if part of him wanted to.
“You’re part of us no matter what,” Storm said. “I would add that the only thing that is required is that you give some more thought to changing your mind. Because I don’t think that we’re doing anything in the Danger Room that can’t be taught or learned by almost any mutant. And with FOH being so powerful now, it is only to your own benefit if you can learn how to even better defend yourself “ and others - against them”.
“I’ll think about it,” I said. I didn’t know if I really would.
“Thank you”.
“Hey, in the meantime, are there any things I can be doing to help run stuff on this ship? I mean, it seems like Victory pretty much takes care of itself but I’d always like to help. I kinda miss doing the Accounting I used to do at the Institute. I wonder if FOH have crashed all our accounts back on earth now”.
“We’ll see if we can think of something,” Cyke said. His voice sounded tight and formal. I knew he was pissed. “Thanks for offering”.
At that point, they headed off to wherever their duties took them. I was glad that conversation was over!
***
“Beast and Forge “ dey be miracle workers,” Gambit proclaimed. His arms were around Rogue, as she leaned back against him on their bed. Instead of a collar, the two scientists had created a *bracelet* for Rogue. It blocked her powers just as the old collars did, but had none of the negative connotations.
Rogue turned her head around to face Gambit. “I shouldn’t have waited so long to ask,” she said. Once she had approached the scientists, it had taken about three days for them to produce the materials needed and to construct the bracelet.
“Well, dey say dat absence makes the heart fonder. And dose days of not bein’ able to touch you had dat effect on me”. He leisurely stroked her arms as he said those words. Gambit was a patient man indeed, though he was very glad he and Rogue no longer needed to wait.
“Me too,” Rogue said. “Not that I couldda…couldda grown much ‘fonder’ of you than I already am,” she added, suddenly feeling a bit shy. “I love you,” she added quietly.
“I love you too, chere”. He brought his lips to her shoulder and kissed it.
Ever since they had acquired the bracelet, Rogue and Gambit hadn’t spent that much time out of their room other than on mandatory bridge duty shifts and training.
A gentle sound rang. They realized it was the doorbell for their room.
“Who is it?” Gambit asked.
“Storm”.
“Give us jus’ a second,” Gambit replied.
Both members of the couple welcomed any visit from their beloved friend. They scrambled off the bed. Rogue located her nightgown and Gambit found a pair of pants. They pressed the button to open the door.
Storm entered. She had thought that by mid-morning they would have been awake and dressed, especially given that Rogue’s scheduled Danger Room session was to start in an hour. Being on board the ship did force the X-men into more of a routine, though Storm shook her head and silently told herself she should have known better.
“I hope I’m not intruding”.
“Not at all, sugar! We love to see you anytime,” Rogue replied.
“Have a seat,” Gambit said, pulling over the chair from the desk. On top of the desk were a deck of cards, Rogue’s gloves, a pecan roll, and a comb.
Out of the corner of her eye, Storm took a look at the shirtless Gambit. Attraction worked in mysterious ways, she mused. Remy was a very fine looking man, but she never had viewed him as anything more than a friend. She recognized his beauty but didn’t desire him, and she knew “ without it ever being discussed “ that he had always felt the same way towards her. She wondered what made someone not feel a sexual attraction to one person and feel it for another.
Then Storm wondered at her own thoughts; she was in their room to discuss important business, not to speculate about sexual attraction. Though she had to admit that the general topic had been on her mind, especially whenever she looked at Wolverine. She had not seen him much for the last several days. He sometimes took his meals in his room.
“Well, I stopped by because I wanted to get your perspective on something,” Storm began. “It’s about Bobby. Cyclops and I approached him a few days ago asking if he would consider training with the team again. He declined. Though he said he would think about it, I suspect he won’t. Do you have any idea why he won’t do this?”
Rogue and Gambit looked at each other. They sat side by side on the bed. “He’s never liked combat,” Rogue guessed. “By the time I joined the team, he was already done with it”.
“Do you think it’s as simple as that? That fighting is simply not to his liking?”
“Dere are people dat like it better den others,” Gambit allowed. “Even on dis team. Can’t fault a guy for not likin’ to fight”.
Storm nodded. “But his powers are so strong. And we need every capable mutant we can find. Once Xavier is healed and we feel we can return to earth, it is imperative that we topple FOH. We all need to do our part whether we like fighting or not”.
“Well we sure don’t disagree with you on that, but I guess Bobby just don’t see it that way. And ‘sides, we got the same problem we had as before, with or without the Iceman,” Rogue said. “When you got a team small as ours, does one person make a difference? ‘Specially when FOH has some goddamned power that was able to beat all of us”.
“We all make a difference,” Storm said. “We’ve had plenty of missions that were made or broken by one person’s contribution”. She looked from Rogue’s to Gambit’s eyes. “Do you not agree that he would do well on the team?”
“Guess I do t’ink he could do well,” Gambit said. “But you can’t force a guy to do somethin’ he don’t wanna either”. He paused and added, “I wasn’t around when Bobby used to fight but I heard about some of the mistakes he made…” Gambit allowed his voice to trail off but his unspoken message was evident.
Rogue took a breath. “I kinda wonder if Bobby’s just…a bit lazy. That’s not the right word, and I feel like a mound of hogslop for sayin’ it about a friend though”.
“Perhaps you mean that he is not as *driven* as some others,” Storm suggested.
“Yeah, that’s it!” Rogue responded.
Storm took in their words. “Well, I hope he might change his mind someday, but I suppose as you said, Gambit, we cannot force others to our will”.
Rogue smiled and looked at her friend. “So while we’re on the subject of talkin’ ‘bout other X-men, I gotta ask you somethin’”.
Storm had a feeling she knew where this was going. Meanwhile Gambit looked at his lover, wondering if this was going to get the answer she sought. Storm never opened up about her feelings, as Gambit had learned from one or two long-ago attempts.
“Anythin’ ever gonna happen with you and the Canadian? The two of you look like you’re dancin’ some kinda tango. Even Xavier can see you’re attracted to each other an’ he’s sittin’ in a coma!”
At Storm’s placid look, Rogue continued, “I’s just wonderin’ if you were both waitin’ for someone to give you their blessing or somethin’”.
Gambit offered, “Maybe Storm’s old-fashion’ and she’s waitin’ for him to make the first move”.
Rogue looked at Storm. “You ain’t old-fashion’ in any other way though”.
Awkward silence prevailed for a minute or two. “So…you ain’t gonna talk ‘bout this, then?’ Rogue asked.
“Well, I must admit that I’d rather not,” Storm said. As usual, she didn’t sound anything other than serene.
“You know, girl, when I was strugglin’ to figure out what to do ‘bout my feelin’s for Remy, you helped me a lot”. Rogue patted Remy’s leg. She didn’t mind mentioning that right in front of Gambit; she had already told him. They were at the point where they could look back and talk about the progress they had made, how it was when they were first becoming “a couple”.
Storm walked over and put her hand on Rogue’s shoulder. “I guess, my friend, that I am more comfortable listening and offering advice than pouring out my heart myself. But I do always love to listen and help others”.
“Fine. But I think you outta just jump him some day! He’d love it”. Rogue paused and then asked, emphatically, “What man wouldn’t?”
After a beat, Gambit muttered, “Well, dere’s Bobby”.
The three laughed, though not in any sort of derisive way.
***
We kept heading towards wherever it was we were going. We still, weeks later, didn’t have any sort of readout on the place and the Professor’s condition hadn’t changed. If the others were nervous about these uncertain things, they sure didn’t let on. I guess we all just took it as a leap of faith.
There was one thing that made us nervous though. We were finishing up dinner one evening “ I mean, I guess it was evening though on a starship I kind of missed seeing the sun rise and set “ and Cyclops and Storm said they wanted to address the group. I looked around and noticed that everyone was there except for Forge, who was on the bridge. Wolverine had decided to eat with us.
“We don’t want to alarm you,” Cyke began, which was never a good sign. “But we wanted to let you know that Storm and Forge and I have been doing some testing lately. It looks as though we are using up our power supply at a faster rate than we had anticipated”.
“We’re not in any immediate danger,” Storm said. “We’re certain that we have more than enough to reach our destination”.
“We’ve been trying to determine the cause. At first we thought that maybe the cloaking device or Danger Room were using up more power than we expected. That is the case, but it doesn’t fully explain why we are so much lower on dilithium than anticipated”.
“Forge is checking all of our systems to see if we have a leak somewhere. That is our best guess at this point as to the cause”. Storm continued, “It’s also possible that our internal sensors have or had some errors. We’re re-checking and re-calibrating all of them as well”.
As I sat and munched on my oatmeal raisin cookie, the others lobbed a ton of questions at our leaders. But I won’t write them all out because basically it was just a repetition of what they said already. They didn’t know why the drain on the dilithium was happening, they weren’t worrying in the short-term, and they’d keep trying to figure out what was going on. The thing that made my stomach clench a bit was when someone asked if we had enough power left to get back to earth once we reached the coordinates.
“We don’t know, but we think so,” Cyclops responded.
I’m not always the most perceptive guy but I really wondered how bad things were and if Storm and Cyke were just kind of glossing over it so that we didn’t all start panicking. Hank did raise the question of whether it might be better to turn around and go back to earth but all the reasons for not doing so were still there “ FOH had a power source that overwhelmed us last time, they had their ships patrolling space around earth, and no medical institution that allows mutant patients would provide any better care for Xavier than he was getting here.
I had another idea as to why we weren’t going to change course, and I decided to run it by Hank later that evening. We were in the rec room, where most of us spent our free time, and after a spirited game of charades he said he was turning in for the night. I asked him if I could talk with him and so I went with him to his room.
“Do you think it’s that we’re all just plain scared?” I asked, seating myself on the chair in his room. Hank reached into a drawer and pulled out some clothing. “Scared of what we left back on earth”.
He knew exactly where my thoughts were. “It may very well be. We’ve been captured by enemies many times before, but never before…” he hesitated, then continued, “never before did any of them threaten to do what FOH threatened to do to us. Even saying the words feels horrifying, and I do not consider myself to be a coward”.
He didn’t need to say the words. What FOH said they were going to do is so vile I can’t type it. And it’s even scarier when you think of the fact they said they’d already done it to Alpha Flight.
“My sense is that people do not discuss it much, but that it greatly disturbed each of us,” Hank went on. “And for weeks we all had your black eye and other injuries to look at as a reminder of what they did to you. We have an immensely powerful and immensely *evil* enemy on earth and they are determined to humiliate and torture us. The fact that we chose not to return now is no surprise”.
“I know,” I agreed. “It makes my stomach churn. I think it’s like we all want to get as far away from that as possible”.
“Perhaps we prefer to face the devil we *don’t* know than the devil we did know,” Hank concluded.
I was glad to see that someone else had the same hunch as I did. We talked a bit about nothing in particular “ Hank’s not one for small talk, but he can do it. I almost wonder if he did it because he liked my company and wanted me to stay in his room but then I told myself that I was flattering myself. He checked on my injuries every day, and asked about them again that night, but I was pretty much back to normal by then.
A question popped into my mind. I noticed that the fur on Hank’s back was askew. “Is it hard to comb the fur on your back?” I asked.
He seemed taken aback, so I went on, “It’s a bit crooked right now”.
“Ah,” he said. “Well, I am very agile but given the amount of fur on my body, it is hard for me to make the time to comb all of it. Is it that unaesthetic?”
“No, no, not at all. Well actually, I don’t know what ‘unaesthetic’ means but I assume you’re asking if it looks really bad. It doesn’t - I just happened to notice it. If you ever want me to brush it, just holler”.
I surprised myself by asking the question, and Hank surprised me with his answer. He entered the bathroom and came back with a brush. “Be my guest, if you’d like”.
“Sure,” I said. I sat behind him on the bed and gave his pelt a thorough brushing.
It felt nice to touch another person. No, not that way. I was never attracted to Hank so I wasn’t trying to do anything inappropriate, and obviously he wouldn’t be attracted to me either. I’m just saying that I realized I hadn’t touched anyone that much at all and there’s something neat or important about having contact with another person. The family that I grew up in never hugged or kissed or anything. We always had a dog, and my parents and I always lavished a ton of affection on the dog. Several years after my parents disowned me for being a mutant, I realized why we were always letting the dogs lick our faces and brushing and petting them “ it was our only source of affection.
“There you go,” I said, when finished. “I’ll be glad to do it anytime”.
“Why thank you,” he responded, sounding sincere. “I may just take you up on your offer again”.
***
TO BE CONTINUED
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