Disclaimer- I do not now, nor have I ever owned any of the characters mentioned in this story. Unfortunately, they belong only to Marvel.




EMPTY



I can tell you the exact moment it happened. The exact moment I began to resent the “X” on my uniform and everything it stood for.



We were embroiled in yet another battle with Magneto, Mystique and Sabertooth. This time in the Gobi Desert, where Magneto had assembled a small arsenal of missiles with which to destroy the world. Rogue and I were in the air, taking on the man himself, while Jean, Logan and Remy were dealing with the others on the ground.



Somehow, Rogue maneuvered Magneto into a spot between the two of us, she was in front of him, and I was behind him. Perfect chance for a sneak attack, right? That’s what I thought, but just when I was about to make my move, Rogue flew at him, full speed, in an attempt to knock him out of the sky. Stupid girl! Of course Magneto saw that one coming and dodged the attack. Rogue came speeding towards me. It had happened so fast, I didn’t even have a chance to get out of the way. She crashed into me, sending us both hurtling to the ground. At the exact same time, Mystique must have looked at Jean a little too hard, because the red-head fainted dead away.



Remy rushed to Rogue, Logan, who happened to be my husband, of course rushed to the oh-so-helpless Jean, and I hit the ground softly, thanks to the winds at my control. Of course, none of the others even noticed me, or that I wasn’t alone.



The first sign that he was behind me was the low growl, followed by a soft chuckle. He knew. He smelled it on me and he knew my weakness. I turned slowly, panic creeping into my mind as I saw him leering at me. Why I didn’t attack him then, I shall never know.



“Oh, now this is going to be fun,” his voice was thick, heavy. He almost sounded as if he were...aroused.



I turned to run, but he was too fast. He grabbed my arm and pulled me hard against his, body, nuzzling my hair.



“Don’t,” my voice broke, my entire body trembled. “Please, Victor, do not do this.”



Oh dear goddess, please let the sound of his true name get through to the man beneath the animal, I prayed.



Unfortunately, he was all animal, there was no man. He smiled menacingly and ran his tongue over his teeth. “Oh no, babe. I owe the runt big time, and I intend on paying up.”



He caressed my abdomen, almost lovingly, before inserting on claw into my womb effectively, as I learned later, cutting my child in half. As I collapsed in his arms, he kissed the top of my head and whispered against my hair, “Tell the runt we’re even now.”I descended into darkness.



I awoke a few days later in the Medical Lab, cold and alone. And Empty. As I sat up, Henry bounded into the room, full of compassion and concern. I wanted to send 15,000 volts of white hot electricity through his blue hide, but I couldn’t find the energy. Instead, I listened to him prattle on about how Sabertooth was able to do what he did.



Frankly, I didn’t care about the how’s or the whys, all I knew was that the monster killed my child. Period.



Henry went on to tell me that we won the battle, and everyone else was fine. I didn’t care. Nor did I care about the berserker rage Logan flew into upon learning of Sabertooth’s actions; or Charles’ guilt at having sent me on the mission in the first place. I couldn’t bring myself to care about much of anything after that. There was nothing left inside me but resentment. Resentment for the almighty “X”. I had lost so much to the dream, but losing my unborn child was the end of the dream for me.



I left the team, my family, my husband, shortly thereafter, and I have never once looked back. I have nothing left to give. I have no joy, no love, no hope. I am a motherless child and a childless mother.



I am empty.





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