Title: Solitude
Author: Ladie
Contact: fickycter@aol.com
Summary: Unsettled by her love for her bestfriend Storm decided to leave the mansion, shocked when she received an unexpected traveling companion.
Rating: NC 17
Chapter 11: Return to New Orleans
Blood she felt it , flowing, and hot. Staining the sheets, sticking to her thighs, and ripping apart her soul. Trembling she sat up with a gasp, tossing the covers aside, looking for the tell tell sign of blood that would signal the start of her period as she slowly ran a hand over her vagina. Shaking as she stared at the crisp blue sheets that remained un marred her dry hand trembled. Running a shaky hand through her hair she slipped from the bed smiling as Logan stirred slightly.
As good as things were she couldn’t shake the memories of things left unfinished. The loss of Renee haunted her to the point where she could not even find rest in her sleep. Shivering she quietly made her way out the bedroom, and on to the porch, enjoying the gentle breeze that cooled her heated skin.
The cabin had been a welcome haven, but now it was time to face her past. Moving to perch on to the steps she watched the sun slowly rise in the horizon, marveling at just how quickly this place had begun to feel like home.
“Thought I’d find you here,” Logan said walking towards here with a cup of coffee.
“Couldn’t sleep?” He asked smiling as she gratefully accepted the steaming cup.
“Nightmares.” Nodding his head in understanding he joined her, not minding the silence as the welcomed the new day.
He still woke in the middle of the night unable to let go of the memory of what had occurred with weapon X. But now things were different, the beast was soothed by the gentle touch, and melodic voice of Ro who held him till the rage subsided. Even when he saw red, and thought as an animal after being thrown in to a feral state, he recognized her. A fact he wasn’t read to further examine quite yet. He had seen her as “Pack” for a long time, but now things were rapidly changing. Emotions were growing, and animal instincts he had no control over were kicking in.
There was something wild in Ro that called to him, beckoning to his animal in a way that made him nervous. He knew she had a feral side to her, he had seen it on occasion in the field, smelt it during a session in the danger room, but never had he seen it rise in passion. The sight of her wild and untamed would be his undoing.
“ I think it is time I dealt with these old memories friend,” She said almost hating the sound of her voice as it broke the peaceful silence.
The last thing she wanted was to leave this cozy cabin, where they watched movies on the couch, drank wine by the fire, and explored the budding relationship that seemed to be developing.
“ You want me to handle the tickets?” He asked knowing instinctively that she wanted to handle this as soon as possible.
“Yes, I will prepare our bags,” She said wrapping an arm around his waist as they watched the world slowly continue to come to life.
The morning dew glistening on the lush lawn and on the leaves of the oak tree that stood like a sentinel in the front lawn sparkling like tiny diamonds as the birds fed their young and the animals began to stir. A few hours later, Ro was deep in clean laundry. Smiling as she folded their clothing, she pretended just for a moment that wife was a role she had the right to play. Doing the housework, and taking care of the children while Logan worked to support them; maybe taking on a part time job at a nursery when the kids were old enough for school.
“Never seen some one so happy to fold clothes darlin,” Logan said causing her face to burn as the blood rushed to her cheeks.
If only he knew what was making her smile. Being married to Logan would be so easy, slipping in to a routine with him had felt natural, and she was happier now than she had been in a long time.
“Just enjoying doing the domestic things one misses out on when they’re always out saving the world from impending doom.”
Shaking his head as if to say he’d never understand women he made his way to the kitchen to prepare their lunch. Smiling she chuckled to herself turning back to their clothing, as she pictured him in a red apron that said “Kiss the Cook.” She would definitely have to do some damage at the malls in New Orleans. There was an outlet center not far from where the apartment was located and she wouldn’t mind spending a little money. There were actually a lot of places she’d like to visit while in the city that she had once called home. Laughing at the thought of Logan at Six Flags she went back to packing. Despite the sadness, there was plenty of fun to be had in the big easy as well. It had been her and Remy’s playground once, and she hadn’t played in a very long time.
~~~
All to soon they found themselves being herded like cattle through the long lines ever present at the airport. Though her face remained passive, Logan could smell the fear she was currently saturated in. Ro had never liked flying, a combination of claustrophobia and old memories of the death of her parents made it a bad situation at every angle.
“You okay?” Logan asked watching as her mask slipped firmly in to place.
“ I will be fine,” She said putting on a brave face as they made their way through the metal detectors.
“Here we go again,” Logan muttered rolling his eyes as he waited for the incessant beeping to signal the metal that laced his body.
Surprised when the machine remained silent he looked to Ro whose eyes shone brightly as she winked. The little minx must have shorted it with a burst of energy when she walked through.
“Thanks darlin,” he said taking her carry on as they slipped away in to the crowd before the attendants realized something was wrong with their machine.
Nervously shifting in the uncomfortable plastic chairs as they waited for their flight to start boarding Ro struggled to keep her emotions in check. Gripping Logan’s hand tightly she ignored his concerned gazes, not one to show her weakness. The last thing they needed was a flight delay because of a storm she had created.
“I’ll be right back,” Logan whispered waiting for her nod before heading off to the small pharmacy he had spied earlier.
Returning five minutes later with a green box and a bottle of water he meet her curious gaze with a sly grin.
“Tylenol PM,” he said easily slipping his arm around her waist as they made their way on to the plane a few moments later.
Flattered by his thoughtfulness she gently squeezed his hand, not used to having some one worry about her needs for once. If he kept this up there was no way she’d be able to let him go.
Smiling at a slightly drooling Ro fifteen minutes later Logan chuckled. She never was one for medicine, and even small doses seem to quickly render her unconscious. He had really let Ro in over the past weeks, and he found himself not wanting to stop any time soon. After he got her through her past he was going to start asking about their future. Anything else would be rushing. He couldn’t ask her for her heart if it still belonged to another. Scowling at the thought of the Cajun who had made her shed one tear too many he growled.
They had both been fools, chasing girls who were clearly not right for them when they had a goddess standing there. Now that he had finally opened his eyes to the treasure that had been in plain site for years he was going to act. Brushing a stray hair behind her ear he kissed her forehead before drifting off himself. They had a fairly long flight ahead of them, and he was going to need his strength when they arrived, because he wasn’t sure what affect being in that apartment again would have on the beauty sleeping peacefully at his side.
“We’re here darlin,” Logan said knowing she would be slow to wake, as the last of the medicine would leave her groggy.
Opening her eyes slowly she squinted, the bright light hurting her eyes at first. Tensing as she became acclimated to the atmosphere she let out a deep sigh. Being here brought back many memories. Smiling as they headed to the rental car she lifted her face to the sun savoring the warmth.
“You know when I was here after I had first been turned back in to a child, I lived in an old junk yard,” She said smiling.
Normally she would not talk of her past so freely, but as with most things it was some how different with Logan.
“It was full of old planes, and I felt like a princess in the tower, sitting behind the controls, dreaming of piloting.”
“Never realizing I all ready possessed the ability to fly something as complex as the black bird, and could actually manipulate the winds to fly myself.”
“When the hounds weren’t chasing me it was a good life, I enjoyed the thrill and challenge that life as a thief presented.”
“Every day an adventure, each successful mission an accomplishment.”
“Sounds like you were good at what you did darlin.”
“The best,” She said chuckling as she waved his wallet in his face as they reached the car.
“ I still got it, or as you would say… I’m the best there is at what I do.” She said smiling as he popped the trunk and they loaded their bags.
“I thought the dark and mysterious bit was mine,” he said winking when she laughed.
“Here in de big easy you never can tell home,” She said doing a halting imitation of her long time friend.
“Oh God, do they all sound like that down here?” He asked taking his place in the passenger seat.
“Not until you get down in the bayou, then it is really bad.”
Tension rose in the car as they neared their destination, and Logan reminded himself to keep his less than flattering opinions about the Cajun to himself while she sorted things out. The last thing he wanted to do was make this any harder.
“We’re here,” she whispered pulling in front of an old two-story brick building that housed a duplex.
“We have the top floor,” She whispered taking in the ivy creeping up the building she had found charming when they first moved in. She had liked that the building had stood her in the same spot for over fifty years. In her mind houses should have history.
It was a decent neighborhood; close enough to the French quarters to be exciting, but further enough away to feel safe. The street was fairly quite, and there were plenty of families in the surrounding buildings. She’d fallen in love with it almost instantly, pleased that it was a mere fifteen minutes away from Tantie. She had grown quite fond of the kind woman during her time spent with Remy. Always quick with a kind word, and warm vitals, she had been dazzled by her southern sweetness. Frequent visits had been made to her during the months she had shared her with Etienne.
Standing in front of the building with her carry on in hand she closed her eyes taken back to a different time all together.
~~~
“Dis be it Chere, you like it?” He asked turning to her like an expectant child.
“Oh Remy, its beautiful,” She said taking in the flower bed that lined the small patch of earth that separated the buildings, and the rich red of the old brick.
The ivy that was slowly creeping up the side of the building gave it a homey feel, and the trellis that leaned against the same wall with blooming pink roses warmed her heart. Truly he had thought of all the small details before deciding to rent this particular place out.
“Wait till you see the inside Stormy,” He said excited as he pulled her took her hand, and rushed up the stairs that led to their place.
Ignoring the urge to correct him for using the irritating nickname she smiled and let herself be led. It had been too long since she’d seen genuine joy cross his face, she would do nothing to dampen it now.
“Oh Remy!” She said gasping at the deep yellow walls, and lush beige carpet that greeted her upon entering.
The walls were lined with colorful pictures of Louisiana landscape, and the furniture was antique and a dark mahogany. Moving with him further in to the apartment she marveled at the fully equipped kitchen. She loved to cook, and she would enjoy making many meals here. The bathroom was done in a rich hue of blue, with marble counters, giving it with a tasteful unisex feel. Her brother had done a very good job of making this feel like home, but something told her he might have had a little help.
The Spare bedroom was a light blue with a charming border of pink roses, and bare except for an antique white washed dresser that also boasted a rose design, and a white wicker rocker. Clearly her brother expected her to stay with him, needing the closeness they shared. Many didn’t realize that he needed to be touched, which was part of why he was so charming, being empathic made him naturally drawn to those he cared for. He enjoyed the skin-to-skin contact the often shared at night.
“ You aint seen de bes par yet souer,” He said slowly leading her to the master bedroom.
Gasping she stood taken back at what was in front of her, a huge canopy bed, fit for royalty, with its deep purple bed spread, and gold accented bureau and mirrors placed strategically around the room. The walls themselves were a creamy off white, and the French windows on the opposite side of the room boasted a gorgeous view.
“I am impressed my friend,” She said turning to him with a look of gratitude.
This had been for her, because he had never much cared about his surroundings. She had seen some of the rat holes he had lived in first hand.
“Had to make it fit for royalty if my Stormy was going to stay here,” he said telling her with his eyes he would always do whatever it took to make her happy.
“Even got a walk in closest big enough for all de new clothes I know you’re gonna buy,” he said laughing when she playfully tackled him and they landing on the bed giggling like small children.
~~~
Blinking she turned to the man who had been talking to her for the past five minutes.
“ I am sorry Logan, what did you say?” She asked embarrassed that she had been so lost in her own thoughts.
“ I said are you sure you’re ready for this?” He asked concerned by the sad expression on her face, as well as the now overcast sky.
“ I am … as ready as I ever will be,” She said standing straight as she walked the steps up to the place she had been thinking about constantly.
Fighting the tears as she stepped in to the near immaculate place she knew instantly that Tantie had been coming over regularly to clean. Not a speck of dust marred the sparkling wood, and the room smelt faintly of vanilla just like Tantie’s always had. Walking further in to the room she let her bags drop to the floor as she froze eyes locked on a picture of her and Remy just before the loss of Renee. They had been so happy then. She sat on a swing attached to the ancient weeping willow just outside of Tantie’s home. She was dressed in a flowing empire- waist maternity dress her stomach slightly rounded, daises in her hair, head leaned back to rest on her lovers chest.
Remy had been in his usual attire, a tight black tee, comfy jeans, and his signature trench. She had managed to get him to take off his ever-present sunglasses, something he rarely did, partially because his eyes were more sensitive to light , but mostly because they were red on black. She had always thought his eyes beautifully unique but kept her feelings to herself, knowing this was a sensitive subject with the charming Cajun. Chocking back the tears as she traced their smiling face she forced herself to move on. This wasn’t even the hardest part yet. Avoiding the nursery she slipped in to the room they had shared smiling softly when she saw the colors had been changed, what was then purple royalty was now a woman’s paradise.
The canopy had been changed to a gauzy white that reminded her of her time spent in Africa, and the comforter was a warm pink like the matching rug beside the bed. Smiling at the white washed picture frames that featured roses, Tantie never forgot the small details.
“You and the Cajun lived in this!” Logan exclaimed taking in the pink room with a sneer.
“ It looks like cotton candy fucking exploded,” he exclaimed starring at Ro who was now clutching her side as she howled with laughter.
“ I- I “ I do not think Remy would appreciate this assault on his manliness,” She said finally catching her breath.
“ Tantie must have known I was coming, because she completely redecorated,” She said seeing the look of understanding flash in his eyes.
“She has a way of knowing things without being told,” She said shrugging at his pondering look.
She would think Tantie was a lower level mutant if she didn’t know that magic existed outside of the X gene. Heading to the closet she slowly thumbed through the more daring pieces she had left behind. Knowing she would never have a need for them while at the mansion. Her appraisal was slow and she smiled as she flipped through the short skirts, halter-tops, and leather pants that had been her style at the time.
“ To be twenty- one again,” She thought smiling as she shook her head at a skirt that would barley cover the bare essentials.
She had been so free during her time here. Finally able to explore just who Ororo was outside of the X-men, what she liked, what made her happy? Sometimes she was so caught up in life at the mansion she simply forgot about herself. There was always a wayward child to attend, a fellow X- member in turmoil, a crisis that needed tending. Backing out of the walk in closest she berated her self for stalling and dragging out the whole ordeal. Taking a deep breath she made her way to the hallway and paused out side of the room that still held the plaque that simply read Renee Chance Lebeau.
Turning the doorknob with a trembling hand she entered the room gently closing the door behind her. This was a battle she needed to fight on her own. Slowly putting one foot in front of the other as the waves of grief hit like a ton of bricks she made her way to the beautiful white bassinet that had never seen use. Falling to her knees at the sight of the cloud and sun mobile that played “ you are my sunshine” she let out the wails long buried. Sobbing she rocked back and forth taking in the love that had gone in to this room. From the hand drawn pictures on the walls done by Etienne, to the baby blanket she herself had knitted. They had wanted this child so badly, why had the goddess taken her away. In a world where mothers frequently abused their children or left their newborns in the garbage like unwanted trash.
Releasing the pent up rage she let the storm clouds come, and basked in the boom of the thunder, and the feel of the lighting.
“Yes, it rain,” She whispered knowing once she truly grieved the pain would never cut as deep.
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